by TJ Klune
“I can see your balls,” Gary said, looking hard enough.
“Godsdammit,” I said.
Gary looked away from my testicles like a true friend. “And we do have normal adventures. It’s everyone else that’s weird and boring and stupid. Also, don’t use the word zany. It sounds stupid, and you should be ashamed of yourself.”
“Last month we went to the Port,” I reminded him. “And somehow found a magic mirror that wanted to imprison us forever in a realm where everything was some kind of opposite.”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“I was a butch lesbian! You were a heterosexual virgin pigeon. Tiggy was a flower. A flower, Gary.”
“About that,” Gary said. “I still haven’t figured out how that was an opposite of what we already were.”
“It was a talking mirror,” I said. “It wasn’t supposed to make sense.”
“I mean, your opposite being a bull dyke makes sense, but the rest? Not so much.”
“How does the opposite of me being a bull dyke make sense?”
Gary looked at me with a blank expression.
“You’re insulting me, aren’t you.”
“Well I’m certainly not insulting bull dykes. I love them too much. They give me things like self-esteem and fancy woodwork.”
“Hey,” I snapped at Vadoma. “I don’t care if I don’t know you. You are still my grandmother. Get your hands out from my inner thigh. I swear to the gods. You don’t need to draw symbols there, you pervert.”
“I can still see your balls,” Gary whispered.
“Today is terrible,” I grumbled. “Absolutely terrible.”
“He never shuts up, does he?” Randall asked Morgan.
“Not even when he’s sleeping,” Morgan said.
I glared over at them, using my hand to shield my eyes from the warm sunlight. We were outside in the middle of the fields to the east of the City of Lockes. We stood inside the fenced grounds that the knights used for training. The wooden dummies were anchored into the earth, slashed and chipped from repeated sword strikes.
Kevin was currently standing over by a rebuilt shed, laughing with Justin as they reenacted the time that Kevin had kidnapped the Prince and knocked me through the weapons’ storage. I glared at the both of them as Kevin gave a whiny shriek I was sure was supposed to be me as he flailed backward toward the shed. Justin roared with laughter until they caught me watching them. Then they pointed at me and started all over again, because they were assholes and I hated the both of them.
Tiggy sat on the ground, my parents in his lap, petting each of them in turn as they lay against his chest. Mom looked a little tense, watching Vadoma as she moved around me, trying to cover my skin with the disgusting concoction that she wouldn’t tell me the ingredients of. (“It’s best if you don’t know—I don’t want to see a grown man cry. Again.”)
The King stood with Morgan and Randall, all of them muttering to each other, probably telling more secrets that I would find out later and be super pissed about. I had decided as I was being dragged out of the city that I didn’t like any of them anymore, especially when they wouldn’t tell me what they were talking about. I didn’t have time for maturity after hearing my grandmother tell me that she was going to need me to get mostly naked so she could rub me with her paste. It wasn’t what I had expected anytime I had envisioned a family reunion. So I let the old farts mutter amongst each other, probably discussing destinies that I wanted nothing to do with, and that would probably end up with me getting killed or, at the very least, mildly aggravated.
Ryan, of course, stood near Ruv, who watched me passively, like he didn’t have a care in the world. Ryan was posturing, because that’s just who he was. He had his sword drawn and was hacking away at one of the dummies. There were unnecessary sword flourishes that looked like he was trying to twirl a baton, manly grunts that would not have been out of place at an all-male bordello, and posing so perfectly that the sun fell on the sweat on his exposed biceps, making him glisten as if he were being kissed by the gods. If it were anyone else, I would have thought it was slightly dashing and immaculate. But now that I knew him as well as I did, I thought something entirely different.
“My boyfriend’s a douchebag,” I said, sounding resigned. “He’s hot, but still a douchebag.”
“Pretty much,” Gary said. “Mine’s a dragon who we once tried to kill, and then he tongue-fucked my butt, and now we’re married or something.”
“You win,” I said, because it was pointless to try and get one up on a unicorn.
“I usually do. Are you done getting bad-touched by your grandma?”
“That sentence vexes me,” I said. “If I’m being honest.”
“It should. I’m vexed, and I’m not being bad-touched, nor am I related to you. Though I suppose if there is inbreeding in your family history, it would make sense that you are the finished product of such.”
“I would murder you if I wasn’t almost covered in slime.”
“Your balls are still hanging out.”
“Yeah.”
“I see you took my advice and started manscaping.”
“Yeah.”
“It looks nice.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m done,” Vadoma said.
“Oh thank the gods,” I said, taking a step away from her, trying to put as much distance between us as possible. “I’m pretty sure that I’m going to need therapy after this.”
“Are you always this dramatic?” she asked me, wiping her hands with an embroidered towel.
“Mostly,” Gary said. “That would be my doing.”
“I still don’t like you,” Vadoma said.
“Ow,” Gary said, dry as dust. “My heart. Whatever shall I do. If it makes you feel any better, I wouldn’t put my smooth and youthful skin next to your craggy old face anyway.”
“Unicorns,” she growled. “Never has there been more useless creatures. Be gone with you, horse.”
“Uh-oh,” I said.
“Horse?” Gary snapped. “Horse? Oh, girl, you gone and done it now. Watch this! Watch what’s gonna happen! You watching? Are you watching?” He started prancing in place, working himself up into a fine glitter rage, jerking his head back and forth. “You see that pretty sparkle? That pretty sparkle is coming for you, you old bag. Gary’s gonna bring the pain down on you like you wouldn’t even believe.”
“It’s true,” Vadoma insisted. “You are a horse with a horn. Oops. Not even that, are you?”
“GAAAAAH!” Gary screamed.
“Fear not, my love!” Kevin bellowed, the ground shaking beneath our feet as he barreled toward us. “For it is I, Kevin! And I shall save you from whatever it is that causes you pain!”
Ruv moved then, quicker than a human had any right to. One moment he was standing near Ryan, who continued beating the shit out of the wooden statue, and the next, he was in front of Vadoma, a long knife with a wicked curve pulled from somewhere. His teeth were bared, and he was crouched in front of Vadoma, shielding her. Her hand was on his shoulder, holding him in place.
Not to be outdone, Ryan ran over and tried to crowd in front of me, sword at the ready, as if he were expecting Ruv to attack at any moment.
So I smacked him on the back of the head.
“Ow,” he said, glaring back at me.
“Stop it,” I scolded him.
“Stop what?”
“You’re trying to protect me.”
“Well, yeah. This guy just pulled a knife on you!”
“And you don’t think I can protect myself?”
“It’s not about that. It’s about making sure you’re safe. I’m doing my job, Sam. And the sooner you remember that, the better off we’ll both be.”
I bristled at that. “I’m not—”
“Are they fighting?” Kevin whispered quite loudly.
“I think so,” Gary whisper-shouted back. “Do you think we should tell them that now is not the time?”
; “Why are we yelling quietly!” Tiggy yelled quietly.
I bit back whatever retort I had when Ryan took a deep breath. Because Gary was right, not that I would ever say that out loud to him ever. “Why don’t we all just take a step back,” I said, keeping my voice even. “In case you didn’t notice, I’m mostly naked after being manhandled by my grandma. I would like today to be over so I can go get drunk and repress all the feelings I’m having right now.”
There was a moment when I thought they wouldn’t, that we were just going to square off right here and now, but then Vadoma squeezed Ruv’s shoulder and he stood up slowly, bringing his knife down to his side.
It took Ryan just a beat longer to stand down, but he did. I noticed he didn’t sheathe his sword, nor did he step away from me. I don’t know where any of this was coming from, seeing as how we’d talked about him and me and how Ruv didn’t mean a thing. Apparently I needed to bash it into his thick skull more than I already had.
I didn’t have time for that now. The symbols she’d drawn on my skin were starting to buzz unpleasantly, not because of the paste itself, but deeper, underneath my skin. It felt like it was crawling inside of me, and I was practically vibrating because of it. It wasn’t like any magic I’d ever felt before. Everything I’d known came from the earth. All those golds and greens were inherent in the air around me, in the ground beneath my feet.
This felt different. Cerebral. Like it was in my head, a thought that I couldn’t shake. I wanted it off me as soon as possible.
I hadn’t let her do this on a whim. She’d talked with Morgan and Randall first, explaining the runes she was to draw. I knew both of them had kept an eye on her while they whispered to each other, making sure she did exactly what she’d said. But I didn’t know how much they knew of gypsy magic, though I had to trust their knowledge was far more extensive than my own.
“Are you okay?” Ryan asked.
I hadn’t even realized I’d closed my eyes. I opened them, only to find Ryan standing in front of me, sword sheathed, a worried look on his face. I blinked at him, trying to clear my vision of the brighter colors that had begun to swirl around him.
“Whoa,” I said. “That’s fucking weird. You’re so colorful.”
His brow wrinkled. “Huh? Sam, your pupils are really blown out.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Sometimes I want to blow you out.”
There was a choking sound right next to me. I turned and looked and saw what was possibly the most amazing creature in all of existence.
“Oh my gods,” Gary said. “He’s tripping balls.”
“I’m not tripping balls,” I said, wondering when my voice had gotten so deep. “You’re tripping balls. I love you. You have no idea how much.”
A gigantic head came into my vision, a nose almost pressed against mine. “Sam really high?” the gigantic head asked.
“Tiggy,” I breathed. “Your very name is like a balm on my beleaguered soul. We should do a choreographed dance every time we enter a room so everyone will know how wonderful we are.”
“I will remember this forever,” Gary said. “I have been given no greater gift than this. Make him do funny shit so we can make fun of him forever! Sam, what do you think of Ryan?”
“His face,” I said. “I like that shit.” I bopped him on the nose.
“Yassss,” Gary hissed.
“Enough,” another voice said. I didn’t like that voice at all. “We do not have much time. It has already started.”
“Someone needs to take a chill pill,” I said. “We’re all just hanging out, man. You know? Just hanging out and chilling. My balls are cold, but it ain’t no thing. Ryan likes them a lot. He puts them in his—”
Ryan slapped a hand over my mouth, and my eyes widened at the contrails it left behind, like his fingers were leaking every color possible. “That’s probably enough of that.”
“I love you so hard,” I said, but it came out mghmghshhgh.
“I know,” he said, eyes crinkling because he could understand me like no one else did.
“Step back,” the voice I didn’t like said. “We must hurry.”
Ryan’s hand tensed on my face before it dropped away. “You said this wouldn’t hurt him.”
“And it won’t. Physically. But the longer we wait, the less of a chance I have to show him what he needs to see. Now step away.”
“Ryan,” another voice said. That voice I knew, even if I was a little mad at it right now. “I know you don’t trust her. But you can trust me. I wouldn’t let this happen if I thought it was going to harm him in any way.”
Ryan didn’t look very appeased at that. “And I’m supposed to believe you, Morgan? You’ve kept things from him all his life. What else haven’t you told us? Told him? Do you know what it means to grow up in the slums? What it does to a person? You could have saved him. You could have helped him.”
“It’s not as easy as you think.”
“It’s easier than you—”
“Knight Commander.”
“My King.”
“I give you my word. No harm will come to him.”
And even then, Ryan hesitated. Then he bowed. “My King.” It was said begrudgingly, as if it came at great expense. But before I could follow it, before I could chide the man I loved for being his usual self (and possibly fawn over him disgustingly for having my back as he did), I became distracted by these bright and shining threads that burst from my chest.
“Sweet molasses,” I managed to say. “This is some fucked-up shit right here. I’m made of glowing strings.”
“Yeah,” Gary said. “Really fucking tripping balls. Everyone watch out for pirate ships.”
The first strings were white and shining, thick and strong. There were a couple of them, and they curved through the air until they latched on to two different people.
My mother and father. There was a love to them, a bond that I didn’t think could ever be broken.
The next set of strings was red and powerful. There was a sense of duty in them, of loyalty that came from responsibility. There was love in them too, but it was of a different sort. It latched on to the King and the Prince. The King’s thread was like that of my parents in that I knew it would hold. The one with Justin was more tenuous, but I knew it would get stronger if we let it.
Randall’s string was yellowed, like the pages in an old book. It was stiffer than the others, but it held.
Morgan’s was a swirling green, and it came from just below my throat. It shook with magic that curled with my own, slow and familiar. It almost felt like my parents’, but there were minute differences to it, differences that I couldn’t quite parse out. For a moment, I thought I felt his sadness, his hurt over a perceived betrayal, but before I could follow it, it was gone.
Three more strings came forth, centered around my heart. They were blue, like the sky in the height of summer. Each one was firmly anchored within me, and they led to Gary and Tiggy and Kevin. It was friendship and brotherhood, the sense that I would die for these fools, if there was need for it. Gary’s and Tiggy’s were stronger than Kevin’s, the years between us binding us together in ways it couldn’t with the dragon. But the dragon’s had something else mixed into it that no other string had, a shot of heterochromia, the colors shifting so quickly that I couldn’t name a single one. It was at the core of his thread, and I felt it call to me, saying here, here, here, this is why you are here, this is providence, this is the future.
I didn’t like that part very much.
Nor did I like the threads, weak as they were, that reached toward Vadoma and Ruv. Vadoma’s was sickly in color, a pale orange that pulsed faintly. The thread to Ruv was a little stronger, a little healthier, though not by much, yellow like a muted sun. My magic reached for it tentatively but shied away before the connection could be made.
But it was the last thread that commanded my attention. It came from the center of my heart, bright gold and fibrous. I felt the pull of it, the way it tugged agains
t the bonds in my chest. It had fastened itself securely in me, and even as I watched, little arcs of electricity shot through the thread like lightning in a storm. It crackled down the length of the thread until it reached Ryan Foxheart. My magic was not shy here. It didn’t pull away. No, it sang as the runes on my skin burned, as the world began to melt around me, the colors all bleeding together.
And even though my mind was a blurry place, where specific thoughts eluded me, I knew one thing to be fact above all others: that if these were the threads that tied us together, then Ryan was the tether that held me earthbound. This was the cornerstone, the building block, and I marveled how bright it was.
“It’s so much,” I whispered in awe. “It’s all so much, oh my gods, if you could only see how much this is—”
But everything else faded when Vadoma stepped in front of me, hand raised in front of her, palm up. Her eyes were dark and deep, and when she spoke, it came in crisp and clear, as if we were the only people left in the world.
She said, “I’m sorry for what it is I am about to show you.”
Then she pursed her lips and exhaled sharply. Her breath hit a pile of lavender powder in the palm of her hand. It covered my face, and I inhaled in surprise, a low gasp. The granules hit my nose and mouth and tongue, and I was breathing, I was breathing, I was—
Chapter 9: The Vision
IT WAS night. The stars above were shining, brighter than I’d ever seen them before. I could see the Lightning-Struck Man. The Pegasus. Vhan’s Fury. David’s Dragon.
And it was this last that was the brightest of them all.
I knew the story that came with the constellation. How David had found the dragon as a hatchling. How he raised it as his own. How they leaned on each other. How they loved each other, inseparable for all their days.