by TJ Klune
“This isn’t my home,” I said. “But we appreciate the greeting nonetheless. Mashallaha is very beautiful. I can see why you would be proud of your city. But it is not my own.” I could be diplomatic when the situation called for it. Morgan had made sure of that. But I was already on edge in being here, unsure of what else could be waiting for us.
“The people have been less than welcoming,” Ryan said. “Insinuations about Sam’s parentage, the lack of a proper honor guard. Is this how Mashallaha greets the King’s Wizard?”
“Apprentice,” Gary coughed. “Still an apprentice.”
The smile on Ruv’s face didn’t shrink. If anything, it widened, just a little. “Forgive us, Knight Commander,” he said, bowing the barest amount. “Vadoma doesn’t stand on ceremony as they do in Lockes. And as far as the people are concerned, I assure you, they are merely curious about Mashallaha’s long-lost son.”
“The guards said he was diluted,” Ryan spat. “That the gypsies thought him weak because he was lighter in color than they were.”
Ruv’s eyes narrowed. He turned and barked out something in his native tongue, the words clipped and harsh. Left and Right snapped to attention, nodding furiously before brushing past us back the way we’d come. Kevin snapped his jaws after them, and they squeaked as they ran faster. The dragon winked at me before sitting back up and glaring at Ruv.
“My apologies,” Ruv said, voice kind. “No one should ever be judged by the color of their skin.”
“I never have been before,” I said. “Until today. It was… eye-opening.”
“Some are stuck in old ways.” Ruv stepped forward until he was right in front of me. We were the same height, and his eyes were dark and deep. He reached up, rested a hand on my bicep, and squeezed it gently. “But not all of us think that way. And I assure you, your grandmother does not.”
I chuckled bitterly. “Right, because she showed kindness to my father.”
“Tradition.” Ruv shrugged. “Our culture is steeped in it, even if we don’t understand much of it anymore. Such is the way of things. Come, you must be weary. Vadoma will meet with you now.” He glanced over my shoulder, the quickest of things, before looking back at me. “Alone, if it pleases you. She would have time with her grandson, one on one. The others will be fed and shown to their rooms.”
“Not gonna happen,” Ryan said, taking a step forward, knocking Ruv’s hand off my arm. “We don’t know you, we don’t know this place. You’re not separating us at any point.”
And that… well. I got what he was saying. I knew what he was trying to do. And I also knew that Ryan Foxheart’s protective streak was a mile wide. I appreciated it, because I loved him. I knew what he’d lost in his life, and that he thought he didn’t have much to call his own. But sometimes it almost pushed too far, like he thought I wasn’t capable of handling myself. Like I knew Randall thought. And Morgan sometimes did, even though he’d deny it. And lumping Ryan in with those two was probably not my best choice at the moment, given that Randall and Morgan were on my shit list.
“Give us a moment?” I asked Ruv sweetly. “Gotta have a quick word with my babe.”
Ruv bowed his head in response.
I gripped Ryan by the arm and started dragging him away from the others.
“Uh-oh,” Gary said. “He’s gone and done it now.”
“Sam don’t need no mens?” Tiggy asked as he started to unload the packs from Gary’s back.
“He is a strong and independent twink who don’t need no mens,” Gary agreed.
“I am not a twink,” I growled over my shoulder.
“Little bit,” Kevin said. “Okay, a lot.”
Ryan looked like he had geared himself up for a fight by the time we were out of earshot. So I said, “I love you,” and he melted a little, like I knew he would. “But I also don’t need you protecting me all the time.”
“It’s not all the time,” he said, sounding chagrined. “It’s just a lot of the times.”
It would have been irritating if it wasn’t so godsdamned adorable. “You won’t always be there, Ryan.”
That was probably the wrong thing to say. The expression on his face hardened. “I told you that I would, Sam. Nothing’s going to break us apart.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I didn’t mean like—look. There are going to be times when you aren’t around that I’ll need to take care of myself. And if you hadn’t noticed, there were twenty years before you where I did just that. I don’t need you coming to my rescue all the time. I need you to trust me enough to know that I can handle things on my own.”
“I do trust you. You know that.”
Gods, I was such a sucker for earnestness. And no one could do earnest like the Knight Commander. “I know you do.”
“But we’re also a team,” he said. “And sometimes I think you forget that. You’re not alone. It’s not just the Sam, Gary, and Tiggy show anymore. There are more of us here now, things mean more, and yet you still choose to be reckless.”
Ouch. That… hurt. Probably more than it should have. “I’m not reckless,” I said stiffly.
He sighed. “Of course that’s what you took from that.”
“What else was there to take? Enlighten me.”
His face did that thing again where he was frustrated. “I just…. Sam, with all of this. This prophecy. This… your grandmother, the star dragon, all the other dragons.” He hesitated. Then, “Myrin. I mean, have you thought all of this through? What the repercussions are? What this could mean for you? For us? For Verania? Or are you running away half-cocked like you always do?”
“Half-cocked? What the hell? And I’m not running. From anything.”
“You ran from Morgan and Randall,” he said, and I couldn’t help but bristle at that. Only because he was right. “And don’t tell me you didn’t. We both know what happened. We both know the only reason we’re here right now is because you’re angry. I don’t blame you for that. I don’t know that I’d be any different. But that’s why—”
“Wrong,” I said coolly. “We’re here right now because apparently something or someone saw fit to make sure I get screwed no matter what I want for myself. That if it’s not one thing, it’s another. I’m here because there is a man coming who could take away everything I love. I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen. And if I have to take the word of a fucking crazy old lady that I’ve never met before who claims I have a destiny written in the stars, then I will. Everything I thought I knew, everything about who I’m supposed to be has been a lie. This is the last thing I can do to regain control. And by gods, I’m going to do it.”
“Really,” he said, taking a step back and shaking his head. “Everything has been a lie. That’s how you see it. So I suppose Gary and Tiggy wouldn’t die for you. That your parents don’t worship the ground you walk on. That the King of Verania doesn’t think you’re one of the greatest things he’s ever known. That two of the most powerful wizards in the world don’t bend over backwards to keep you safe.” He laughed, but it was a harsh sound. “That I don’t love you with everything I am. Because why would that be true?”
“Ryan—”
“You should go to Vadoma,” he said, looking over my shoulder. “Alone. Like you wanted. She doesn’t seem like the type who’s okay with waiting. But that’s okay. Since you can handle yourself and all.”
He brushed past me without another word.
And I didn’t even try and stop him.
Chapter 14: The King of Sorrow
“I’VE ASKED Ruv to join us,” Vadoma Tshilaba said. “I feel it prudent to have his input. He is well-versed in the desert dragon.”
I nodded but didn’t speak. We sat in a darkened room, the windows covered in thick curtains, only a sliver of sunlight slipping through. The room felt warm, humid, and it wasn’t helped by the numerous flickering candles she had lit in all corners. We were in the very topmost carriage, having walked up the staircase that wrapped around the outside unti
l we reached a bloodred door. The room itself was smaller than I expected it to be, stuffed to the gills with books and trinkets and skulls of animals I didn’t recognize. I could make out a large ornate desk on the other side near a block of windows, the top littered with sage and rosemary and thyme, all of which added to the heavy stagnant perfume that hung around us. There was a stone fireplace, the charred remains of something inside, blackened and cracked.
Vadoma sat across from me in a high-back purple chair. Strings of beads hung off the sides, her feet barely scraping the floor. Her hair was pulled back in a brightly colored scarf. The dress she wore was made up of reds and greens and blues. She had a white shawl wrapped around her shoulders, the fringes of which lay on her arms and lap.
Ruv stood next to her, wearing the sheerest of fabrics for trousers. He was backlit by that sliver of light, and I swore I could see right through them. Not that I was looking. Because I wasn’t.
“If you insist,” I said.
“Your travels were safe?”
“If you’re asking if I was attacked by Morgan’s brother, then no. If you’re asking me if Randall’s cornerstone appeared out of nowhere, then no.”
“You’re angry,” she said.
I laughed. “Lady, you don’t know me.”
“Perhaps. But I do know my daughter. And I knew her when she was your age or thereabouts. She had the same look on her face. The same fire in her eyes. That is how I know.”
That startled me, but I tried not to let it show. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Doesn’t it?”
“I’m not here to be analyzed.”
“And why do you think I’m analyzing you?”
“Gee,” I said wryly. “Where would I have gotten an idea like that.”
She chuckled. It was a soft, husky sound. “I like you,” she admitted. “I didn’t expect that. You have a… reputation.”
“Do I?”
She shrugged. “People talk about you, Sam of Wilds. Your name is known throughout Verania.”
“And what is said about me?”
“That everyone loves you. Most speak of you almost reverently, as if you are something to be cherished.”
I squinted at her. “You were going around asking people if they loved me? That’s weird. You’re weird.”
She scoffed. “I didn’t need to ask about love. It was clear in their adoration. You and that… that unicorn. Why you feel the need to associate with such a blasphemous creature, I’ll never understand.”
“Because he’s my best friend,” I said. “And he gets me. And he’ll kill or maim anyone who tries to hurt me. So. That’s why. Oh. And Tiggy too. Except he’s more into smashing things. Like faces.”
“I’m not threatened.”
“Oh. Wow. You should be, I think. At least a little bit. As a side note, the only reason you should feel threatened is if there is a reason to be threatened.”
I didn’t miss the way Ruv quirked a smile at that, like he found me funny but was trying not to show it. Hell, if that meant I had half the room on my side, I wasn’t going to argue with that. I winked at him obnoxiously. Stupid Ryan Foxheart. Of course I could handle myself.
Ruv winked back at me. Maybe licked his lips a little.
I probably couldn’t handle myself at all.
“Anyway,” I said quickly, trying to push through the discomfort. “I’m glad you like me. I think. That’ll make this… whatever this is, easier. I probably won’t send you an All Hallowed Day card or anything like that, but at least I can tell people I met my grandmother. Yaaaay.”
“You often talk without saying anything at all,” she said.
I nodded. “Yes, ma’am. That’s sort of my thing.”
“Does that get you anywhere?”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“I never knew the name of the man in shadows. Do you believe me?”
I cocked my head at her. “You like changing the subject whenever the mood strikes, don’t you? That’s annoying.”
She said nothing.
Okay, then. “Does it matter if I believe you or not?”
“There needs to be trust between us, Sam, if this is to work.”
I smiled at her. “Then the world is probably going to end. Such is life.”
She sighed. “You do not take this seriously.”
“It’s a defense mechanism. You’ll get used to it. Or you won’t, because we probably won’t be around long enough for that. Either I get the dragon and leave you behind, or we all die. Either way, it won’t be long.”
“I didn’t know it was the Myrin of old,” she said as if I hadn’t spoken at all, which, honestly, Mom must have told her was the easiest way to deal with me. Damn her. “Though I probably should have. Given the star dragon’s insistence that Morgan of Shadows be involved.”
“Man in shadows, Morgan of Shadows, yeah, I would think that would have crossed someone’s mind a time or two.” And from what Morgan had told me, he’d pushed it as far from his mind as he possibly could. “Would you have done anything differently?”
She hesitated, which was answer enough. “Do you know how old I am?” she asked instead.
“No.”
“I’m old, Sam. Much older than I appear. Not Randall’s age, no, not even Morgan’s, but enough to remember the stories. Why do you think it is that Myrin is mentioned only in passing? Why do you think it is that you can barely find his name mentioned at all?”
“Because Morgan—”
She arched an eyebrow at me.
“Because Randall erased him as much as he could,” I corrected. “Because he couldn’t bear the thought of the man he loved having done the things he did. So he erased him as much as he could from history, having banished him with the help of Myrin’s brother, Morgan. Morgan, who was Randall’s protégé.”
“The burn that must have run through them at the betrayal,” Vadoma said. “The pain they would have felt. For family, for a cornerstone, to turn as he did.”
I said nothing.
“I do not need a cornerstone,” Vadoma said, looking down at her hands. “I am not like you. I cannot create something real out of nothing. I can make you see, but that is the limit. I am not a wizard. I am not a witch. I am an old woman with an ability I never asked for, who has seen things she never asked to see. And yet, there is magic in me. And it has slowed down time. I have seen people come and go. Villages rise and fall. I have seen the weakness of kings. One, in particular.”
“The King of Sorrow.”
“Yes. I see someone’s been talking.”
I shrugged, not caring to answer.
“It was said that Randall pulled him out of his madness by the sheer force of his will alone. Tell me, Sam. Do you know why the King went mad in the first place?”
“No.” Which, I probably should have, given I was going to be the next King’s Wizard, but if there was one thing I hated more than anything else in the world, it was going through a thousand years of Veranian politics. It was the bane of my existence.
“The loss of love,” Vadoma said. She rubbed a bony finger over the bangles on her right wrist. “The King’s wife and daughter were killed. Burned to death in a fire. He lost himself to his grief. Randall pulled him back from the brink. But not with his will. No. He did it because he too understood loss. Pain. Suffering. That is not something that leaves you. Do you know that?”
“No,” I said slowly. Because I didn’t, fortunately enough. My parents were still alive. My friends were safe. The King and Prince I’d sworn to protect were guarded. Randall and Morgan were still around, even if I was pissed off at them. I’d never known loss. Not like she described. I didn’t want to.
Then she did it again, and I wondered if she was trying to catch me off guard. “And the Great White. He said nothing to you? Tell Vadoma.”
“No,” I said without wavering. “He said nothing. For all I know, it was just a dream.”
She laughed, dry and rusty. “Chava. That was not
a dream. I made you see.”
“You can see hallucinations,” I said. “That doesn’t mean they’re real.”
“That mouth of yours,” she said with a frown. “I blame the unicorn.”
“He is pretty sassy,” I agreed.
“And you will not banish him?”
I snorted. “Not hardly. And if I tried, he’d probably just laugh at me, call me a bitch, and then sit on me for a little while until I apologized. Just how he is.”
“Impertinent creature,” she said. “I knew a unicorn once. Backstabber. Literally. He stabbed people in the back.”
“Did those people deserve it?”
She waved a hand at me dismissively. “Not the point. Consider getting rid of him. For your grandmother’s sake.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t think I’m going to do that.”
“This is the family I was given,” Vadoma said to Ruv. “Now you see why the gods mock me.”
Ruv was amused. “I think Sam has a point here.”
“Do you?” she said, arching an eyebrow.
“Unicorns are fiercely loyal creatures. And this one has bonded with Sam and the half-giant. He would do anything to save them.”
“He would,” I said, smiling at Ruv. At least one of them got it. Ruv, of course, smiled back at me, those dark eyes on me unnervingly. I wondered what he thought when he saw me, what he’d probably been told about me for years. Vadoma had probably built me up in his head somehow, a boy with a destiny of dragons and that Ruv would one day be the anchor for his magic. I thought maybe he was disappointed with what he’d seen in me and—
Those were not thoughts I needed to have. That way lay madness and would be exactly what Vadoma wanted. In fact, I thought maybe all of this was exactly what Vadoma wanted. Divide and conquer. It had taken less than a day upon her arrival in Castle Lockes to weave disharmony and chaos into my carefully constructed life. I’d gotten my happily ever after, and now look where I was: in a hot and dusty room so very far away from home with people I didn’t trust, all the while I wasn’t speaking to my mentor nor his mentor, Kevin and Gary were getting divorced (or something, I didn’t even want to know), Ryan was being an asshat who I wanted to kick in the shins, but then also suck his cock. That left Tiggy. Sweet, wonderful, reliable Tiggy. I would seek him out as soon as I left here.