by Jessica Ashe
At three o’clock, Daisy burst into the room, having no doubt been looking for me for some time now. She stormed over and practically dragged me out of the ward.
“Hurry up,” she said. “You’re going to miss your appointment.”
“That would be a shame,” I replied sarcastically.
“Don’t joke about it,” Daisy said. “This isn’t just any old meeting with your physio.”
I sighed and followed Daisy to the Neuro-Oncology Ward. Might as well get this over with.
Jaxon was lying to me. Just when I’d almost begun to trust him again. When we talked over coffee it was like picking up where we’d left off four years ago, as if his kiss with Emilia never happened. It scared me how quickly I was able to forget his betrayal. I’d never come close to forgiving him in the four years I’d spent at college, but now that I saw him in the flesh it was hard to hate him. In my mind, I had turned him into evil incarnate, but the truth was he was just a normal person. A normal person who had done a horrible thing.
People forgave far bigger transgressions than what Jaxon had done to me, but it wasn’t just the fact that he’d kissed someone else. Not only had he cheated on me, he had not even bothered to apologize, as if the effort it would take to make it up to me was just not worth it.
The more time we spent together, the more I slipped back into the mentality I’d had four years ago. Back then I had been nervous, scared, and slightly disgusted by my feelings for Jaxon. I was no longer a virgin, and yet I still felt those feelings creeping back as we sat and talked about mundane things like Jaxon’s relationship with his father.
We’d nearly made it through an entire conversation without me hating him, but then he lied to me. It was so obvious. His hospital appointment wasn’t until three o’clock and yet he was in a rush to leave me before midday. What could he possibly be doing in that three-hour slot? Or more to the point, who could he be doing in a three-hour slot? It’s not like we were in a relationship—he didn’t technically have to hide his sexual relationships from me, although if he was going to, I wish he would do a better job about it.
The short walk from the coffee shop back to my office left me drenched in sweat again, so I filled up the water bottle I carried around for my commute and drank it down in one go. It didn’t help lower my body temperature, but at least it might stop me fainting. The air-conditioning took longer to cool me down this time, so I was still hot when Sam burst into my office.
“How did it go?” Sam asked.
“Good,” I replied. “I’ve made notes and will send an email out later today. We need to get a contract drawn up.”
“So Jaxon is going to consider our offer?”
“Yes,” I said, nodding my head. “It’s going to have to be a good one though.”
“Doesn’t matter. If we get him to sign, it will mean huge things for this club. Keep adding zeroes until he puts pen to paper.”
“When do we get him to take a medical exam?” I asked. “He’s meeting his physio at the hospital later this afternoon.”
“He is? Get down there and see what’s going on. His medical concerns are our medical concerns from now on. Get a copy of the report and pass it on to our medical team for analysis. We will do our own review as well, but this will give us a head start.”
“I’m not sure he’ll let me into the meeting,” I said.
“You’ll find a way,” Sam said as he left my office.
I spent the next few hours typing up my notes and then sending emails to the legal team to help them prepare a draft of the contract. The hospital Jaxon mentioned was far enough away to justify taking a cab. That should help me avoid the worst of the heat, assuming I managed to get one that had air conditioning.
I arrived at the hospital fifteen minutes early, so I sat down in the back corner of the waiting area where I would have a good view of Jaxon and Daisy when they arrived. I used the time to email Aaron, and planned our “date” for tomorrow night.
I needed to be out of the house for a few hours one evening or Jaxon would never believe I had a date. I chose a spot out of the city, so that Aaron would drive there and then give me a lift home. It was a little deceitful, but he wouldn’t mind. I would have let him in on the plan, but the fewer people who knew that I was trying to make my stepbrother jealous the better.
Daisy showed up just before three o’clock and looked around frantically for Jaxon. She almost saw me a few times, but I held my phone up in front of my face and she didn’t seem to recognize me. Eventually she gave up waiting for him, and walked around the hospital following the signs somewhere.
I stood up and decided to follow her. If Jaxon was already here, then that meant he might be telling the truth about his whereabouts for the last three hours. That would be of some comfort at least. Daisy stopped a lot to look at the signs. She didn’t know where she was going, but she did know what she was looking for. Eventually she walked into the children’s ward. I waited around the corner, looking at my phone trying to appear inconspicuous. A few minutes later, she walked out with Jaxon close behind her.
The two of them were arguing; or at least Daisy was telling Jaxon off and he was just dismissing her. I had no idea why he’d hired someone who seemed to disrespect him so much, but perhaps he liked powerful women. I tried to shake the thought of Jaxon with Daisy from my mind, and followed them to the other side of the hospital. Finally, Daisy said “here it is,” and they walked into the Neuro-Oncology Ward.
Neuro-Oncology Ward? Jaxon wasn’t here for a regular physical. For the first time today, I felt cold. Goosebumps appeared on my body, and I shivered, even though sweat was still dripping down my back. The Neuro-Oncology Ward was not the kind of place you went to for a casual appointment. Something might be seriously wrong with Jaxon and he didn’t want to tell me about it. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good news.
-*-
“I haven’t seen you in so long,” Aaron said, once the waiter had brought us our drinks. “I don’t even know where to start catching up. How’s the new job? I guess that’s as good a place as any.”
“It’s not been that long since we saw each other. I came to that party you threw for Millie’s birthday.”
“Yes, but we didn’t speak much then. I was too busy making sure nothing got broken.”
“Well, the job is fine I guess. It’s not exactly what I expected to be doing out of college though.”
“I don’t even understand what it is you’re doing there,” Aaron admitted. “You just described it as contract review and negotiation, but that sounds like a legal thing.”
“To be honest, I’ve just been given this job because the company is an important client of my stepmom’s. I don’t even think it’s a real job. Before I had even started they transferred me to New York United.” I’d been hoping to avoid too much conversation about Jaxon, but if Aaron was going to ask me about work then we’d end up discussing him eventually.
“New York United? The soccer team?”
“That’s the one.”
“So you’re doing contract negotiation work for New York United?” Aaron asked. Here we go; three, two, one. “Isn’t that the team Jaxon might sign for?”
“Bingo. That’s why I’ve been given the job. They think that Jaxon will sign for New York United just because I work there. I guess they assumed that we were close.”
“But you were close? Weren’t you?”
I tried to casually shrugged my shoulders, but forgot I was holding my drink and managed to spill some on my hand. Way to act casual, Jennifer. “We used to get along,” I said. “Obviously we weren’t like a real brother and sister. We only knew each other for about a year until I went to college, and then we sort of drifted apart.”
Aaron nodded, but I could see he didn’t believe me. Aaron was my closest friend, but I’d never told him that Jaxon and I nearly became more than just stepbrother and stepsister. He probably would have supported me—at least outwardly—but I didn’t want him to think I wa
s sick for fancying my stepbrother.
“Probably for the best,” Aaron said.
Aaron never spoke much about Jaxon, but when he did it tended to be negative. Just little jibes here and there over the last four years. I’d always agreed with him and then just changed the subject, but Aaron’s comments had always confused me. He didn’t really have any reason to dislike Jaxon. I wasn’t even sure the two of them had formally met, so Aaron only knew Jaxon from what I said about him.
“Why do you say that?” I asked.
Aaron shrugged. “He just looks like bad news. I see him on television sometimes. He’s arrogant, and loves himself more than he will ever love anyone else. The two of you are very different, that’s all.”
“You make it sound like Jaxon and I are dating,” I said, with an exaggerated and obviously fake laugh. “It’s not like I need him to be husband material.”
“Good,” Aaron said. “I know women tend to fall for the bad boy, but I really do think you’re too good for him.”
I opened my mouth to defend Jaxon, but quickly closed it again and thought better of it. Best not to give Aaron any ideas. Aaron’s dislike of Jaxon was almost a relief. Aaron specifically said I shouldn’t get together with Jaxon because of his personality, and not because of our family relationship.
I turned the topic of conversation away from Jaxon, but couldn’t take my mind off him all evening. I hadn’t seen him since his visit to the hospital, and my mind was wracked with worry and fear for his well-being. It was only natural that I be concerned for my stepbrother, but this was much more than that. I wanted to forgive him. Properly this time. I wanted to turn back time four years, and surrender to him without insisting we go on some stupid date.
But I couldn’t turn back time. We could be physical, but I would never be able to trust him again like I had done. I could forgive, but I didn’t think I was ready to forget, and I wasn’t sure I ever would be.
I didn’t enjoy hospital visits—who did?—but this one would be especially unpleasant. The doctor had described it as a routine checkup, but with everything I’d been through over the last few years, there was little in the way of ‘routine’ about it.
Over the last four years, my mind had been consumed by health worries, but recently I’d begun to relax and let myself move on with my life. Instead of worrying about my health, I thought about Jenny, and once again I’d allowed myself to get close to her. Even worse, I’d allowed her to get close to me.
The doctor didn’t have good news. In fact, he had very bad news, and now I had to backtrack on everything. I had to get Jenny out of my life again. I wouldn’t be as extreme as I was four years ago—I couldn’t hurt her like that again—but I had to find a way out of this mess. I never should have flirted with her or wormed my way back into her life. I’d acted selfishly. I wanted to be with Jenny, but I’d kept my distance these last four years for a good reason. Following today’s bad news from my doctor, that reason applied as much now as it did four years ago.
I still had no intention of moving to New York United, and I would fail the medical anyway. The club would discover my condition at some point and that would be it. I couldn’t even use the excuse of making the transfer negotiations look real, because Liverpool United wouldn’t offer me a new deal anyway. Not now.
Now more than ever, I wanted to spend every minute of every day with Jenny, but that couldn’t happen. When I was with her I wanted to press my lips against every inch of her skin, and I sensed her resistance to me weakening. Another week hanging out, and we would end up in bed together. I wanted that more than anything else in the world, but I couldn’t risk hurting her. Not again.
Jenny had gone out on a date, which I still suspected—or at least hoped—was fake. I knew she’d had boyfriends at college, but she wasn’t the casual dating type. I doubted she would do anything on a first date, so I had time to get the hell away before she brought him home to meet the family, or even worse, had sex in the room next to where I was currently staying. That would destroy me quicker than my illness ever could.
When I got home, Mom was on the phone downstairs yelling at a coworker for missing a deadline. I’d hoped to catch her in a good mood, but there were few good moods for Mom these days.
“Do you have a minute?” I asked Mom, while she was flicking through emails on her phone.
“If you make it quick,” she replied.
“You need to take Jenny off the team negotiating my contract,” I said.
“Why?” She still hadn’t looked up from her phone. I didn’t have her complete attention, but then I never did. She’d probably been negotiating business deals while breast-feeding me as a child.
“She doesn’t have enough experience with these deals.” I felt guilty for throwing Jenny under the bus, but telling Mom that our relationship was strained would be even worse. The last thing I wanted was Mom thinking about my relationship with Jenny. “This deal needs to go smoothly, and Daisy has expressed concerns that Jenny will make a mess of it.”
“Jenny has plenty of support to call on if she needs it. It’s not like she’s the one signing the checks. We, I mean the club, figured it would be better to have a friendly face negotiating with you, that’s all.”
“Well I don’t want a friendly face. Have her moved to another department, or back to the parent company.”
“It’s not my decision. She doesn’t work for me.”
“You got her the job in the first place,” I said. “You obviously have influence there.”
“She got the job because New York United figured she was the best person to negotiate with you. I have very little influence there. Besides, they are clients of mine, and the last thing I want to do is tell them that the employee I recommend is not up to the job. How do you think that would make me look?”
“I don’t particularly care how it’ll make you look,” I snarled. “You should never have given her the job in the first place. She’s not cut out for it. She’s a social studies major, for Christ’s sake.”
“I did her a favor getting her that job. I can assure you, it pays a heck of a lot better than the jobs she was applying for.”
“Did it ever occur to you that she might not have been concerned about money? Not everyone chases the biggest paycheck they can get.” Says the guy earning $5 million a year for kicking a ball around. “I’m going to speak to Dad and see if he can get her a better job. One that she will actually enjoy. Dad has loads of contacts with companies involved in international trade. Jenny’s Arabic skills will come in use there.”
Dad probably wouldn’t be able to help Jenny, but it would annoy Mom no end if she thought Dad was getting involved. I didn’t even know if Jenny wanted to use her language skills, but it had to be better than working indirectly for my mom.
“Your father has never met her,” Mom replied. “Besides, her Arabic is not as good as she made out.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “She’s been studying it since she was fourteen and she always said she was going to study it at college.”
“That she did,” Mom said. “She also failed miserably. There are two ‘F’ grades on her transcript relating to Middle East studies and some really bad grades for her Arabic language classes.”
“I don’t believe you,” I said. “I can’t imagine Jenny would ever get an ‘F’ grade in anything, let alone something she had been studying passionately for so long.”
“I can show you her transcript if you like. She sent it to me so that I could forward it on to my contact at the company. That sister of yours is not as perfect as she likes to make out, and she should be grateful I gave her such a fantastic opportunity. Now, if you don’t mind, I have work to do.”
I stormed off and slammed the door behind me like a petulant child. I didn’t want to believe Mom, but she didn’t usually lie about things like this. In fact, she didn’t usually lie at all. She was brutally honest most of the time. This was the woman who, when I was eight years old, told me she d
idn’t like the picture frame I gave her for Christmas that I’d made in school. She told me I could do better, and I never saw it again. If Mom said Jenny failed some classes in college, she was telling the truth.
There had to be a reason she failed those classes; I just hoped the reason wasn’t anything to do with me. More likely, she split up with her first boyfriend and struggled to focus in class. I didn’t know much about him, but I knew they were together for a while and he was her first. The breakup would have been tough on Jenny, especially after she’d already been hurt by me. No wonder she was so reluctant to let me back into her life.
I sent an email to Daisy telling her to deal with everything regarding the transfer going forward. It was a complete reverse from what I’d told her before about wanting to be involved, but in the short term it was the only thing I could think of to keep myself out of Jenny’s life as much as possible.
At about ten o’clock, a car pulled up outside even though Mom and Sheridan were downstairs, and Jenny had left her car here. She must be being dropped off by her date. I couldn’t resist taking a peek and finding out what was going on. As in soccer, in dating it always paid to do research on the opposition.
I looked out the window and much to my relief saw Aaron in the driver’s seat. She’d just been out for dinner with a friend after all. There was no way she was dating Arron. Those two were close friends and had been for a long time.
Jenny walked into the house and a few seconds later I received a text message from Aaron. I didn’t realize he still had my number. Need to speak to you. Meet me on the corner. I looked out the window and saw Aaron pull away from the house but then stop one hundred yards down the road.