by Quinn, Aneta
“I just wanted to do a quick refresh on some self-defence stuff” I say and take a step towards her as I slip the gloves off, dropping them to the ground.
She looks down at the movement of my feet and then up to my face as I take another step closer, I’m standing right next to her now.
“Say if someone …were to grab you, try to take you” I say as I lightly trace my fingertips from her shoulder, down her arm. I see her shiver a little at my touch and close her eyes. I take another step closer, almost pressing myself against her back.
“If someone were to take hold of you from behind” I keep talking as I gently and slowly wrap my arms around her in a soft hug, “You don’t panic.” Her body feeling warm under my gentle hold.
“No panicking, noted” she says a little breathlessly as she leans her head back, resting it against my chest.
I close my eyes and picture me holding her like this for reasons other than self-defence lessons. I quickly shut those thoughts down before I do something stupid. I don’t let go of her though – but seriously what the fuck am I doing?
3. Cute when you’re mad
Charli
I open my eyes when I feel his body tense behind me, and realise I was enjoying his body wrapped around mine far more than I should have been.
I take a step forward out of his arms and turn to look at him. He smiles a half smile, dimple forming on his right cheek and looks guiltily at me. Why does he look guilty? He’s just trying to teach me something and here’s me getting all hot and bothered at a simple touch of his fingertips or his arms around me.
What is wrong with me? I’m acting like a horny teenager. Coming here, just the two of us was probably more dangerous to me than staying in New York. I turn and hit the punching bag and move to the side as it swings back past me.
I watch as Jax takes the few steps between us and grabs the punching bag with both hands, stopping its gentle swing in the process. He leans into the bag hugging it and turns his eyes to me.
There’s a heavy pull towards him that I can’t explain. Every time I’m near him I want to be even closer, and every time he bosses me around I want to slap him and then kiss him silly. He brings out the defiant side in me, makes me feel stronger against everyone else I guess.
Can he sense how I’m feeling around him lately? Does he feel it too, or is he just being nice to save me the pain of rejection.
“What’s up with you Charli?” he finally asks and smirks. It almost seems like a knowing smirk, like he knows what I’m thinking about him every time I see him all sweaty and shirtless. I’m too pathetic to just jump right out and say I think he’s the sexiest fucking thing to ever walk this earth.
I love it when he looks at me like that though. He used to look at me as though I was some spoilt little rich girl but then after a while it was like there was an attraction there, whether I imagined it for my benefit or not I don’t know.
“Nothing, I just … I dunno” I shrug and look up at his face. No matter how hard I’ve tried to ignore it, dating other guys, and trying to keep my mind off him, it becomes harder and harder to keep my thoughts and feelings from growing towards him.
I know that even if he does actually feel remotely close to how I feel, it would never work. My mum for one would kill him. Knowing her like I do, she’d say something along the lines of ‘I didn’t hire him so he could sleep with you Charli. I hired him to keep you safe. You’re better than this, better than him.’ I shouldn’t care what she thinks anymore considering I’m 24 years old, but she has this weird leash around me that I just can’t seem to drop; at least lately I’ve been sticking up for myself more.
She seems to think we’re too good for everyone and it down right pisses me off. Her idea of a perfect guy is the ones that are only good at providing a steady flow of money and are accepted by the Ivy League upper class society. She wouldn’t care that Jax makes me laugh like no one else can, that he accepts me in sneakers and ratty t-shirts, or that I’d rather spend my time with Jax watching movies and pigging out on snacks than trying to impress every other New York family with money.
I punch the bag again and he steps back a little from the force, still holding it tightly.
He’s smirking at me though, bloody smirking. He seems to find my mood funny for some reason, so I punch the bag harder this time, catching him off guard again.
He steps back and as he looks up at me I throw a soft punch to his stomach. My hand practically crunches against his hard muscles so I shake my hand out, trying to relieve the soft ache in my knuckles; no lie, I swear that was the equivalent of punching a solid brick wall. I mean come on; he’s not making this any easier for me.
This makes him grin harder and for some reason that slightly irritates me. I go to throw another punch but he catches my fist, slides his hand down, and wraps his fingers around my wrist securely.
I grin back at him and try to use my other hand to get at him which he also grabs, wrapping his palm around my fist.
He’s grinning at me like some stupid cat that just ate the canary, dimples forming in his cheeks. I scowl up at him like the petulant child he used to think I was. After a few seconds I know I’m pouting and this makes him start to laugh a deep throaty laugh and I can’t help but smile at the sound; if I could bottle that up I could sell that for millions.
He tugs on my arm a little making me step closer. I can feel his warm body, inches away from my own and I know my face heats up in seconds. If it wasn’t the blush then my heavy breathing definitely gives me away.
Damn this traitorous body. I can lie as much as I want, but no matter what I say, my body always gives me away.
He let’s go of my hand, still curled into a fist and takes my chin between his fingers, pulling my face up to look at his. I take this opportunity to marvel over his features; dark hair hanging in every direction, the dark stubble still growing across his jawline, and those damn hazel greens that are staring straight into my eyes.
“May I ask what’s got you all tense Charli?” he smirks. He inches his face the tiniest bit closer and I suck in a quick breath. Is he about to kiss me? Jesus what do I do?
It’s certainly what I want, what my body wants, but I don’t want him screwing with my head.
I put my free hand up against his chest and lightly try to push him away. I know I’m not trying hard enough, that if I really wanted to, I could have him on the ground in a second. He thinks that I’ve never won our little wrestling matches because I haven’t learnt enough, but honestly, I just like having him straddling me. On occasion I swear I felt his cock get harder just by being pressed against my body, but he would jump to his feet too quickly for me to be sure.
At the mere thought of that my fruitless attempt at pushing him away stops. He leans his head in a little closer and I close my eyes, ready for an earth shattering kiss. His lips barely and ever so softly brush against mine and I lick my lips were his warm touch lingers.
I realise that he’s pulled back a little so I open my eyes to see him looking at me, calculating my reaction.
“You can’t get distracted so easily” he practically whispers, his voice coming out deeper.
Did he do that just to distract me? I practically growl at him with frustration and push against his chest again, this time with more force. He takes a step back and I practically lunge at him. Before I can get a hold of the situation I find myself flat on my back, looking up at him, smirk wide on his face.
I smack the mat with my fist and push myself up off the floor, getting ready to take him down. He takes a few steps to the left, picks up his water bottle and takes a few sips; eyes on me the whole time.
“I should piss you off more often; you seem to take this more seriously when you’re mad. Actually you’re kind of cute when you’re mad” he says and turns to fully face me. He runs his arm across his lips, wiping away any left over water and I prop my hand on my hip.
“Cute? It’s not supposed to be cute when someone’s kicking your ass
.”
“Is that what this is, an ass kicking? Doesn’t seem like it” he continues smirking at me.
That just irritates me more and I realise I’m growling again. I take the few steps between us quickly and try to tackle him to the floor but again he picks me up and drops me to the ground, somehow making me land softly on the mat without hurting me.
I huff out an annoyed breath and realise trying to do this angry won’t work. A quick idea forms in my head and I sigh, throwing my arm over my face.
“I suck at this” I finally say, breathing heavily. If I know him as well as I think I do, I know he’ll feel slightly sorry for me, he’ll ease up, which is him getting distracted by my damsel act. I try to hide my grin and I feel him step over me, a foot each side of my hips.
I open my eyes and pull my hand back off my face to see his hand stretched out towards me, offering to help me up.
I put my hand in his and just as he’s about to pull me up I grab his ankle to unbalance him with my free hand and pull him down with the other, but rolling out of the way. He drops down to the mat bracing himself with his free hand and I quickly roll to my knees then pounce on top of him as he rolls onto his back with a huff.
I giggle a little at my small victory and lean in to whisper in his ear, “You shouldn’t get distracted so easily Jax.”
I freeze then when I feel him underneath me. A full blown hard on twitching beneath me and I gasp. My god he feels huge. I smile a massive grin knowing I’m the reason for it and he just simply shrugs when he realises what I’m grinning at like it’s no big deal. Holy. Shit.
Let me tell you something though, it was most definitely big; a big deal I mean.
I don’t move a muscle and he wraps his hand around the back of my neck, gently tugging me closer against him. I don’t fight it this time, I just move closer to his lips, closing my eyes in anticipation.
Again I think he’s about to kiss me and I pray with all my might that he does I don’t even care at this point, but he just leans in to my ear and whispers, “whose distracted now babe.”
Did he just call me babe? Then it fully registers in my brain what he said; he wasn’t going to kiss me, probably never even crossed his mind. I growl at my stupidity and how easily he can drive me crazy; this is beyond embarrassing. I push myself off him, not gently either and I turn to grab my shoes by the window. I don’t look at him or say anything as I slide my feet into my shoes, hopping around on the spot for a second. I need to get the hell out of here before I throw myself at him anymore and embarrass myself any further.
I feel him come up behind me and feel his arms slide around my waist. He pulls me gently against him and I take a step back willingly, my back pressed to his front. God he feels great, just too amazing and it’s killing me.
“I’m sorry Charli” he says. Sorry for what though; for getting a reaction out of me so easily, or for almost kissing me?
I push away from him and I’m so embarrassed I can’t even begin to describe where my heads at right now.
“Sorry for what Jax?” I finally say.
He looks down at the floor and kicks the edge of the mat a little with his foot. I can tell he’s nervous and I realise maybe he feels awkward telling me he doesn’t want me like that.
Yeah, sure he had a massive hard on mere 5 minutes ago, but what guy wouldn’t if he had a girl rolling around on top of him, that’s normal.
“Don’t worry. I get it Jax” I finally say and walk back to the window where I came through.
I lean through it and just as I’m about to climb back out he gently pulls my hand so I turn to look at him.
I can feel angry tears brimming my eyes and I’m now annoyed at my body too for coping with things in stupid ways. Most people cry when their sad, not me nope, I cry when I’m angry and strangely not when I’m upset or scared.
“I’m sorry, that was out of line Charli” he says but doesn’t let go of my hand. There’s a pleading look in his eyes and I feel a little guilty. It’s me that keeps giving off sexual vibes and misinterpreting everything as something that it’s not.
“It’s okay Jax, I said don’t worry about it. I get it” I say trying to hide the disappointment in my voice.
He still doesn’t let his grip on my hand ease, even when I try to pull away so I can make my getaway.
“You don’t understand” he starts to say, “It’s not that I’m not attracted to you, because Jesus anyone with half a brain can see how beautiful you are Charli.”
I stop trying to fight his gentle grip and finally look up at his face. He thinks I’m beautiful? He looks so sincere and I don’t want shit to get weird so I do what I do best and brush it under the rug.
I shrug again before finally saying “Jax…I’m okay, we’re okay. I was just being stupid, no harm done” I try to smile.
I know he’s referring to this being a job, to my mum and how she would react. He runs his hands through his crazy disorderly hair and I know he’s tense. I want to run my own hands through his hair and pull him down for a kiss, but instead, I do what I do best and run.
I pull myself through the window and lean in to say a quick good night, before making my way down the steps and back in to my apartment. I practically slam the window shut behind me and flick the lock.
4. Caveman
Charli
For the first few days after our almost make out session, I avoid Jax like the plague. I try to make his job easier, messaging him every time I leave the apartment for a run or letting him know of any new people I talk to.
I know deep down he’s following me around, even if I asked him not to. I just always get a sense of him being there, even if I couldn’t see him. The weird feeling you get when you know you’re being watched.
I try to go about my business without getting too annoyed that he hasn’t come around to keep me company; probably just giving me space to calm my raging hormones.
Tuesday, official day one of my avoiding Jax plan I was slightly irritated, sitting in what I’d come to know as my spot under the tree on campus.
“Don’t usually get many new faces this time of year” says a guy as he slides down against the tree next to me.
I give him a quick suspicious look and notice he’s probably on the football team; the jersey he’s wearing and football he’s gently tossing around might have been the dead giveaway.
“I’m Drew” he says and stops throwing the ball momentarily while he extends his palm for a handshake.
“Charli” I say as I quickly shake his hand.
“You seemed a little lonely over here so I thought I’d say hey. You can come sit with us if you want?” he says and gestures to a group of people sitting around a bench not too far away.
I look over and some of them wave in our direction; a few other guys in football jerseys too and some girls sitting together laughing at something.
All I think is screw it; this was why I wanted to come to classes in the first place.
All I do is nod and he grins at me as he stands up, extending a hand out to help me up too.
The short walk over to his group of friends he’s told me all about the local football team, invited me to a party on Friday, and asked me for my number; which I give to him happily.
Wednesday I went out for lunch with Drew and his friends just off campus and the whole time kept an eye out for Jax, thinking he might jump out and tell me I couldn’t be there; jealous of Drew or something.
That didn’t happen.
By Thursday I was so annoyed at myself for caring so much what Jax thought that when my mum called I didn’t think too much into it.
I happily told her that Jax was out of sight and I hadn’t hung out with him since we arrived when she strangely asked about us.
I think because she wasn’t close enough to lurk around and watch over us she was getting suspicious that we would get together, get married, and make babies that weren’t part of an upper-class family on both sides. Well she had nothing to worry about
.
She just frustrated me more because she didn’t even ask how I was doing, how classes were going, or whether I’d seen anything suspicious. All she seemed to care about was who I ended up with to continue her line of wealth.
Come Friday I was starting to regret giving my number out. Drew was non-stop flirting and some girls were asking me what I was wearing to the party, and in all honesty I didn’t even care as long as I had the opportunity to get drunk and enjoy myself before I went crazy here in goddamn Harrisburg.
As I make my way home, walking casually and enjoying the warmer weather, my phone beeps with a message.
Every time I get my hopes up thinking it’s Jax but the entire week of only messaging him to let him know where I was, he’d only respond with something simple like ‘Okay thanks.’
I look at who it is and scowl a little at my phone; it was Drew. He was the one throwing the party tonight and was being overly flirty with me for the past few days, which I guess I shouldn’t be complaining about, anything to get my mind off Jax.
Drew: You still coming tonight?
Me: Even if everyone’s staring at me because I’m the new girl, I still wouldn’t miss it
Drew: I don’t think that’s why everyone will be staring at you, especially if you look as cute as you do now ;)
How cheesy.
I look around me quickly and see him smirking at me from across the street. He’s sitting at the café with the usual group of people. I know Jax is lurking somewhere like a shadow which spurs me into action, walking straight to Drew across the street.
I wave and once I got closer, Drew picks me up in a big bear hug before putting me down. He introduces me to the few people I don't know and I wave to everyone in turn.
He drapes his arm around my shoulder in a possessive casual gesture and I slightly tense but don't move away, not wanting to hurt his feelings. We stand chatting to the group for a while and I hear my phone beep with another message. I know it could only be Jax now, since most of the people that have my number are sitting in front of me.