My father hated me all the more for the fact that my grandparents left him the company, but left me everything else. In their professional years, they had amassed a sizeable fortune: stocks, shares, and properties. I suspect that they had an inkling of the kind of fucking asshole that their son was, and wanted to make sure that I would never have to beg him for anything. And, adding insult to injury, they named their long time and family lawyer trustee to the funds until I was of age. My father was never even given the option of seeing that money. He put forward a number of appeals, stating that as my legal guardian, he should be nominated trustee. The will was iron clad. He failed in all of his attempts. And now, well, now with some well placed investments, my net worth almost matches his. I considered that to be a spectacular fuck you very much.
“Don’t you want to know why I’m leaving?” she asks me, pulling back.
“It doesn’t matter,” I say with a sad smile. “I’m just happy you are.” And I mean it, I really do.
I call her a cab to take her to Megs’ house and return to my room, kicking off my flats and collapsing onto my bed. The memory of my blissful evening with Jackson seems so distant now. Like a vivid and extremely hot dream that ended before I awoke to harsh reality. I don’t ever remember my father laying a hand on me; he saved his anger for my mother. Then again, it would be miraculous if he ever noticed that I was actually alive. The only time I was privy to slight displays of affection or kind words was the handful of times when it was necessary to maintain our social standing. At my cotillion, my graduation where I was named valedictorian of my class, and at that party afterwards where he present me with the keys to a BMW X5 with about a hundred of his colleagues, my friends and their country club parents watching. But such is the life of the rich upper class of Manhattan. I wasn’t different to my friends. Half their parents were having affairs, some mothers would even endure an occasional beating to save the peace in the house, and they all presented a public persona and hid their real lives behind very expensive closed doors.
I close my eyes and pray to God that I sleep soon, and pray even harder that some divine force will stave off the dreams that I know will haunt me. No matter which way you look at it, I’m fucked up, and Jackson deserves better. I bet if he knew me and what getting involved with me really meant, he’d bolt in the opposite direction, immediately. I’m tired of being hurt. Simple solution, I’ll just have to stay the hell away from him until he finds a girl that deserves him. I’ll talk to him in the morning and tell him not to waste his time.
Chapter 6
Jackson
I can still taste Maia on my lips as I drive back to my dorm. The memory of her pressed against me at the Bean is ingrained in my mind. She acts like such a hard ass, but really, tonight she proved just how vulnerable she can be. I saw a side of her that was so honest, even if it was only for a fleeting moment. I arrive back at my own dorm and take a long cold shower, and sleep better than I have in years, since Maia is the last image in my mind before I close my eyes.
“Rise and shine!” A voice blasts into my dream, which included Maia, and was just about to get interesting. My roommate groans and pulls a pillow over his head. I squint my eyes to see Jade perched on the edge of my bed, stilettos in hand, wearing a dress that, well, leaves not a lot to the imagination.
“Did you just get back?” I ask her, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. The sun is streaming through my window, even though it’s only seven, according to my bedside clock.
“Yup!” She looks positively giddy about something or someone as she throws her shoes on the floor and stretches onto my bed, propping her head on her elbows.
“And I suppose you’re here to give me a ‘blow by blow’ rundown of the whole thing?” I ask with feigned exasperation.
“Just like old times,” she smiles. I listen to Jade talk for what seems like hours about her date, and in true Jade style, she doesn’t hold back, telling me about dessert and then dessert.
“Damn Jade, you were aware that this was your first date. You didn’t have to give it all up,” I tease.
“Pfft, look who’s talking? Says the guy who has had his hands down half the pants in Atlanta,” she says, rolling her eyes.
“Okay!” I laugh, throwing my hands up in mock surrender. “But that was then; I’m not into that mindless banging shit anymore. Things have changed since you left home; I have, anyway.”
“Really?” she asks dubiously, “because the last time I saw you stick with one girl was Shana.” Jade looks down as she says Shana’s name. I know she still thinks about her, misses her. They had been best friends since they were four, right up until Shana packed her shit and left, without so much as a goodbye to Jade. She plays it off, but I know the hurt is still raw.
I should tell her that I know where Shana is. She deserves to know, but as I open my mouth, she cuts me off.
“I nearly forgot to ask. How was your night? Did you hang out with Maia?”
At the mention of Maia’s name, the memory of last night comes flooding back. My lips curl up in a grin that I can’t seem to suppress, hard as I’m trying. “We went to the Bean, actually,” I say as blasé as I can manage.
“That’s great,” Jade replies. “You two will make awesome friends, she’s a good chick. A tad bit introverted at times, but otherwise she’s good people.”
Friends? The last thing that I want between Maia and I is friendship. The idea of not getting to know her better, and in time, finishing off what we started last night is a terrible prospect.
Jade creeps up and lies in the crook of my arm. My roommate Ben’s lifts his head from his pillow. “You two want some privacy?” he asks sleepily.
Jade and I simultaneously burst into laughter. “Nah man, it’s really not even like that,” I say. My shoulders are shaking so hard with laughter that I can barely get the words out. Jade can barely catch a breath. There is really no way that I think of Jade like that. And I am one thousand percent sure as fuck that she has no desire to screw me at all.
As our riotous laughter begins to subside, I hear a knock on the door. “Fuck!” Ben grumbles and flings his legs out of his bed. “Clearly sleep is not an option anymore!” he complains, glaring at Jade and I. We both feign innocence as he walks over to the door. He yanks it open and I hear Maia’s voice.
“Hey, is Jackson here?” I bolt out of my bed and walk over to the door.
Ben shoots one more glare in my direction, “I may be tired and pissed off, but I’m slightly jealous of you this morning,” he offers before he walks past Maia into the hallway.
“Hey,” I greet her, with maybe a little too much enthusiasm. She looks nervous as shit and I find myself wishing that the sexy confident woman that made an appearance last night would stop hiding from me.
“Can we talk?” she asks.
“Sure,” I reply, moving aside so she can walk into the room. As I’m about to ask Jade if I can catch up with her later, Maia sees her lying across my bed and immediately back pedals towards the open door.
“Hey, Jade,” she says, and I can hear that she is trying desperately to sound upbeat and casual. Epic fail on her part. She stares at me coldly and says, “I’ll talk to you another time.”
And with that, she turns and walks out the door.
I’m still staring at the space that Maia occupied before she walked out. Jade scoots to the edge of my bed and stares up at me. “What happened?” she asks quietly.
Rubbing my temples with my thumb and forefinger, I turn towards her. “Just now? I haven’t got a fucking clue. Although it may have something to do with your presence in my bed,” I reply. “Wait. That means she doesn’t know that you’re…” I continue.
“No!” Jade exclaims cutting me off. “She doesn’t know, and you’re not telling her until I decide to.”
“Don’t you think it might be relevant, considering that she now thinks that after I dropped her off, I spent the rest of the night fucking you?!” I raise my voice, slightly irritated.
“Besides I thought you two were friends?”
“We are.” Jade answers, looking down at her hands. “But you know how I feel about telling people about me. You remember high school, don’t you?” I do remember high school and walk over to her, immediately sorry for raising my voice, and sit next to her on the bed. “What happened last night?” she asks again.
“I didn’t sleep with her, Jade. I just kissed her,” I say, annoyed that Jade still thinks of me in the same way that I was in Atlanta. Jade has this crazy idea that I’m going to spend the rest of my life replacing Shana with empty sex with random chicks who I pick up at clubs. And because that’s what I did for a while, she might have had a point. “Why is it so hard to believe that I may be different since you left home?” I ask her dejectedly.
She puts a hand on my leg and looks up at me. “I didn’t say I don’t believe you. I’m just saying she’s an all right chick, so don’t screw around with her feelings. I don’t want to have to make the choice between two friends again.”
She slips her feet into her shoes and walks out the door. And I wonder why it is that no matter how hard I try, I seem to have this uncanny ability to keep fucking things up.
I text Maia twice over the course of the day, and try calling her once, all with no answer. Since she’s doing a Psychology and English double major, and I study Engineering, our classes never cross over. Hell, I even walk to class on the opposite sides of the campus. Jade texts me to say that Maia hasn’t been back to the dorm room since this morning, and she assumes that she’s either in classes or at the library. I swing by the library; no Maia. Short of stalking the girl, I figure that I’ll go to her dorm room to talk to her later in the evening. When I try that, all I find is Jade sitting on her bed reading a big ass textbook on Music Management. Fuck, this chick really knows how to disappear. In a last ditch effort to find her, I decide to take a drive over to the Clever Bean to see if she’s there. On the way over there, I wonder what the fuck I’m actually doing. I have no idea where her parents live, or who her friends are, and I realize that she could have gone to be with any of those people. All of a sudden I feel foolish, but the foolishness is nowhere near equivalent to the need I have to see her today.
Keys in hand, I stand at the doorway of the Bean and look for Maia’s familiar long brown hair. My heart sinks when I discover that she isn’t not anywhere on the lower level. I jog up the stairs to the galley level, and almost jump for joy when I see her curled up on one of the sofas, reading. Now that I’m here, what the fuck do I say? Suddenly I’m nervous as shit, and this all seems like a bad idea. But I spent the day looking for her, and the last thing I’m about to do is turn around and walk away like a punk. I approach her and stand next to the sofa.
“This seat taken?” I ask casually. She barely glances up at me before shrugging her shoulders. I sit next to her on the couch, but she doesn’t bother to look up from her book. Fair call, I did ask her if I could sit, not whether I could actually talk to her. Note to self: next time, be specific.
I open my mouth to say, something, although I have no idea what. Before I have the chance, she shuts her book and looks up at me. I scan her face for an idea as to what she’s feeling, whether she’s pissed or hurt, and come up with nothing. She doesn’t let a hint of what she’s feeling slip though her robotic façade. Where I’m from, if the girl you were seeing caught another woman in your bed, the first thing you’d be doing in a situation like this one is protecting your shit, ‘cause those bitches would waste no time in chopping it off! I find it bizarre that I don’t feel the urge to cover my crotch.
Maia stares at me intently before saying, “You know you don’t owe me an explanation for this morning.”
“Then why have you been avoiding me?” I counter.
“I’m not, I just happened to be in different places to you today,” she replies. “Look,” she says turning her body to face me. “You met me three days ago, so you don’t owe me anything. Last night was fun, but it is what it is. No explanation necessary.” She sounds like a fucking guy. Like she’s trying to play the game before she gets played.
“You don’t really think there’s something going on with me and Jade, do you?” I ask incredulously. I guess for Jade and I, the idea of us together is ridiculous, but to those who don’t know us, maybe it’s not so unlikely.
“Well, she didn’t come back to the dorm last night, and this morning I found her in your room. I don’t think I need a very high IQ to figure out what happened,” she deadpans. And there it is; I knew she was jealous. I saw it in her eyes this morning.
So I decide to take my chances and play the asshole friend card, since I can’t explain myself without telling Jade’s secrets. “Guess there’s no fooling you then,” I respond sarcastically, and begin to stand.
“What!” She practically catapults out of her seat. “You’re not even going to try to explain?” she asks incredulously.
“Nope,” I say standing and smoothing out my jeans. “You seem to have it all figured out. Tell you what, why don’t we just be friends then. Friends with benefits, if you’d prefer?” I wink at her, grin, and turn to exit the Bean, leaving a slack jawed Maia standing in my wake.
I walk casually out of the café, but as soon as I’m out of Maia’s line of sight, I bolt towards the Mustang; just in case I lose the nerve it took me to walk out, and march back in there and wrap my arms around her.
Now it’s time for Plan B. Maia would never believe me if I told her where Jade really was last night, since Jade has never told her the truth. So Jade is going to have to fess up. All I need to do is convince her that Maia is nothing like the assholes at our high school. Which seems simple, except that Jade is the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met. Although, after today, one’s thing’s for fucking sure: she has some serious competition in Maia. I smile as I drive back to Brown. Maia is beautiful any day, but she’s a whole different kind of sexy when she’s mad. And when I eventually do get her into my bed, I hope she’s fucking angry.
Chapter 7
Maia
For the first time since coming to Brown, I have driven the BMW. I never had previously because it was my special way of delivering a silent, yet significant fuck you to my father. He likes proving that he can buy anything and anyone. Just not me. But the more I walked everywhere and caught the bus, the more I realized that I was cutting off my nose to spite my face. What exactly was I proving in the end? I must say that the feeling of independence that driving gives me is one I’ve always loved. As I pull the car into a spot, I think back to Jackson and his behavior at the Bean. I cannot believe that the asshole had the balls to suggest that we be friends with benefits after I caught him in bed with my roommate. Well, maybe ‘in bed’ in the sordid sense is not exactly accurate. Still, they may as well have been ‘in bed together’. I wasn’t so much angry as I was jealous as hell. I wanted to be laying in Jackson’s bed, with my head on his pillow, inhaling the cologne that smells like an ocean breeze, Preferably with him lowering himself on top of me. Whoa girl! I will myself out of my fantasy before I totally lose it.
Jade looks startled as I walk into the dorm room. She’s on her cell, and whomever she’s talking to is clearly not telling her something that she wants to here. She whispers as I walk into the closet, and I catch fragments of her conversation. “Just because you think…no…I’m not doing it…don’t you dare remind me…don’t even fucking pull that card…fine!” I hear her phone snap shut. She staring at the door expectantly, waiting for me to walk out of the closet. “We need to talk,” she says ominously.
“Are you sure you want to talk?” I ask. I get the distinct impression that that’s the last thing she wants to do.
“Okay, talk then,” I say when she doesn’t answer, and sit cross-legged on my bed. I’m not mad at her about this morning, mainly because she had no idea what happened last night. Unless she did, in which case I’m furious. But for now, I decide to assume that she didn’t.
“So, Jackson tell
s me that you think that he and I fucked each other last night, or this morning or whatever,” she lays it out there, just like that. Not sure why that surprises me. Jade is straight up like that. I avert my eyes, and suddenly feel like there’s nowhere to look, mainly because I really don’t want to get into this with the only friend I care to have on this campus, but also because I have really been trying since this morning to block the image from my mind.
“Jade, really, you don’t need to…” I start, but she cuts me off.
“I do. I didn’t sleep with Jackson. I have never slept with Jackson. We were friends because he dated my best friend in high school. But we, him and I, have always ever only been friends. He seems really into you. So for him, I’m going to tell you why you can believe him.”
I want to stop her, because she looks uncomfortable as hell right now. But I don’t, because I’m curious. “He thinks,” she continues, “that no matter what he or I say to you, you’ll think the worst, therefore I’m going to give you a completely valid reason as to why you should believe us.”
She stops and takes a deep breath, and I resist the urge to tell her to spit it out already. “I don’t sleep with Jackson’s type,” she finishes.
I raise my eyebrows curiously. “And what type is that?” I ask.
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