by Andy Lewter
Brushing both hands to his back, I squeezed his shirt into a fist as I savored his taste upon my lips. Our connection magnified with passionate fury, and I sensed how I affected him, which mimicked my feelings exactly. Lust. An electric circuit coursed endlessly between us, the heat and intensity grew with every passing moment.
I have no control. He is everything.
Somehow, he found the will to pull his lips from mine and peered down at me, studying my reaction.
“What was that for?” I asked as I wobbled on my feet.
“I didn’t mean to. It slipped,” he teased, mocking me. “C’mon.” He tugged my arm and guided me inside.
My mind was still spinning.
“Table for two, please?” he asked, his eyes never leaving me.
“Pick any seat, doll,” the hostess stated in an unenthused tone as she popped her gum, her eyes glued to her phone.
Nicholas scowled and treaded toward an empty booth in the corner. “Great staff,” he grumbled. “Let’s hope the food is better than the service.”
I frowned at his attitude shift, but decided to brush it off. We settled in our seats and started browsing the menu in silence.
A young waitress with tall hair came to our table. “Can I start ya off with some drinks?”
I met her frazzled features. “Can I just have a water for now?”
Nicholas glanced at the waitress with deep-set brows, bearing an expression of disapproval. “I’ll have what she’s having.”
With a small smile, the waitress turned on her heel and walked toward the kitchen. I buried my face back in my menu, avoiding Nicholas’ gaze.
The waitress didn’t take long before she delivered our drinks. “Do ya know what you’d like to order?” she asked, a notepad and pen in hand.
“Um… can we look a bit longer?” I asked politely. She nodded and headed back to the kitchen once more. When my attention turned to Nicholas, my jaw dropped.
Disgust was all I felt from him. His eyes shot daggers at the sweet waitress as she walked away. Tensing his jaw, he turned his deeply creased features back to his menu.
I dropped my menu and leaned over the table. “What’s your problem?” I whispered harshly.
“Hmm?” he asked, glancing at me with suddenly soft eyes.
I frowned. “Don’t forget I know what you’re feeling.”
“Oh. That,” he stated dryly. “It’s not you. You’re wonderful,” he grinned.
My frown deepened. “Then who is it?”
He moistened his lips and leaned closer, glancing around to make sure no one would overhear. “Humans,” he whispered.
I openly glowered at him. “What about them?”
Just then, the waitress returned. “Did you make a decision?” she asked, then reached over the table to pick up Nicholas’ menu. “Let me show you the popular items.”
But before anyone could react, the waitress tipped over Nicholas’ ice water and spilled it onto his lap. Nicholas jumped in a snap and brushed the ice off— outrage instantly filling the room.
“Oh dear! I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed, scrambling to find some napkins. In her panic, she managed to drop her pen and notepad on the table and splashed the water more.
“What is wrong with you?” he howled. Everyone in the diner silenced.
The waitress burst into tears.
I stood in a blur and shoved Nicholas in the chest. His harsh features dropped immediately, and he began to panic. “I, uh… I’m sorry. Are you okay? Can I help you clean?” he asked, pulling out napkins from the dispenser on our table.
I shook my head. “You know what? We’ll go somewhere else to eat.” I glanced around the restaurant. “My apologies for the interruption, please, enjoy the rest of your meal,” I addressed the other patrons in the diner.
I knelt down next to the crying waitress and passed her a twenty. “Don’t let this jerk get you down,” I whispered.
My expression turned murderous when I glanced at Nicholas. His cheeks paled, and he swallowed hard. “We’re leaving,” I demanded, storming past him and out the front door.
I waited by the car with my arms folded when he approached.
He unlocked the car and hesitated by my door “I uh—“
“Don’t want to hear it!” I snapped. I jumped in the car and slammed the door before he could finish.
Nicholas took his time before he entered the car. He hovered the key over the ignition for a long moment then he dropped it to his lap in defeat. “I’m still getting acquainted with being around humans,” he admitted.
I huffed and shook my head. “You’re around them every day at the bunker. That’s a ridiculous excuse.”
“Yeah but… I know them now. It’s different.”
“No, it’s not! Not in one way is it different!” I couldn’t believe how quickly the urge to vomit overcame me.
“You’re probably right,” he admitted after a while. “I’m sorry.”
I sighed and folded my arms. “Take me home.”
He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. Silence hung in the air. I noted how the stars were shadowed by dark clouds and smirked.
It wasn’t long before we made it back to the bunker. “Tonight didn’t turn out how I wanted it,” Nicholas said sadly.
I kept my gaze out the window. “Tell me about it.” I dashed out of the car and picked up my pace to get away from him.
“Abby,” he hollered, jogging after me once he turned the car off. “Can we have a do-over?”
I snapped my attention at him incredulously. “That’s an awfully brave question.”
His lips parted, his eyes pleading. “I’m trying to understand humans. You can’t deny that.”
My thoughts shifted to Olivia, how they bonded when she helped with his wardrobe malfunction. Sighing, my harsh features turned slack when I realized he was right.
He noted my change in demeanor. “So a do-over?” he asked again.
I stared at him a long time before speaking. Yes, he’d come a long way with humans. But that didn’t mean I had to like him right now.
Pursing my lips, I nodded once and turned toward the house.
13
A week had passed, and I was on the hunt for Athena. Her appearance had been sparse, I assumed because her attention had been solely on Miles — and I tried not to let the jealousy eat me alive. Why I was no longer a priority to her, I had no idea. Maybe she thought I was safe enough in this bunker.
As for Nicholas… well. Some days I’d crave to succumb to the sweet, magnetic bliss that completely bewitched me. And others? I’d do everything I could to keep out of his sight.
Tossing my wavy hair to the side, I opened the stairwell door and made my way up to the main floor. I hadn’t gone for a run in a while and my body was getting antsy for adrenaline.
Breezing down the hallway, I frowned when I realized not a soul was near. The clock read nine in the morning — surely someone was awake by now. Slipping my phone out from my back pocket, I pressed on the tracking application. Everyone was below on Cade’s floor, but Damian and Olivia appeared to be headed toward Seattle.
A pang of envy twisted in my stomach as I thought of being able to go as I please, not worrying about being seen in public — but I was happy they were able to have some quiet time away.
Opening the stairwell door, I kept my eyes on the phone as I made my way down the stairs. Stopping on Cade’s floor, I twisted the handle and peeked in as the bright lights reflected off the shiny white tiles from the floor. White doors were spaced evenly along the narrow hallway — this place gave me a complicated, uneasy feeling.
Glancing back down at my phone, I started walking where it told me Athena was. I rounded a corner and found Edmund, Dara, Miles, Moui, and Athena huddled quietly around a window.
“What’s going on?” I asked, padding up to them. Edmund and Athena glanced toward me; everyone else stayed focused on the window.
“Brittney is talking with Cade,” Ed
mund answered.
“How is it going? Is he still not talking?” I asked, stepping on my tiptoes to peek around the others.
Edmund shook his head. “He’s still not talking.”
“Hmm.” I dug in my mind for an idea. He’d been here a week, and we remained without a lead on Kayla’s plans. “They told me he doesn’t know about Brittney’s children — they kept that knowledge from him to keep them safe. Now that he’s quarantined, we could send one of them in to see his reaction. Maybe it would anger him? Pique his interest? Provoking some kind of emotion I think would be the first step to talking. Am I wrong?”
“That’s actually a fantastic idea, Abby!” Dara said, her tired eyes shining bright.
“Edmund, what’s the news from the Head Valens on our side?” I asked.
“Ah, Ken and Sonia are back on Salvus keeping recruits safe. Dave is traveling everywhere, trying to find allies. We’ve spoken a few times, and there’s been talk about having recruits come here to train. They’re… a bit uneasy there on Salvus. Which is understandable.”
Nodding, my thoughts shifted back to how much Salvus Island had changed. “It’d be great to have them here. There’s plenty of space.” I glanced around the hallway, unsure of what else to say since no one was speaking. “I’ll go find Tara then…” I trailed off as I noted the indifference in Miles’s demeanor.
He was cordial but distant. It left a bitter taste in my mouth. I cleared my throat and shifted my gaze to Athena. “Want to come with me?”
“We were about to go eat something,” Athena answered, waving her hand toward Miles. My eyes narrowed at her body language as she popped her hip to exaggerate her curves. Her cheeks were rosy pink, and her hair was flawless — and I want to punch her.
“Oh… okay. I’ll uh, see you later then,” I replied awkwardly. Turning on my heel, I clenched my jaw and felt the harsh sting of betrayal burn within me. Not only did things get weird with Miles, but my guard apparently had better things to do than accompany her charge.
Barging into the stairwell, I glanced at my phone app and zeroed in on the one person I knew wouldn’t fail me. Taking the steps two at a time, I slipped my phone back in my pocket and knocked on his door.
Ray opened the door with bright blue eyes. “Abby! What’s up?”
“Wanna go on a run? I’m getting antsy.”
“Me? Or…” he asked, glancing back at Nicholas. He was standing by his bed without a shirt on, scouring through his dresser.
“Oh.” I faltered, taking in the beautiful sight before me. His naturally tanned complexion brought out the curves of his defined muscles and luminous skin. My mind was telling me to look away but my eyes wouldn’t listen.
“See something you like?” he teased, flashing a captivating grin while tossing a shirt over his head.
I cleared my throat and felt a blush burn my cheeks. “I need to go on a run.”
“Doesn’t Athena do that with you?” Ray asked, confused.
“Typically. When she isn’t mooning over Miles, that is.” I tried not to let jealously infuse my tone. Why must I be stuck between these two men?
“On second thought,” I cleared my throat and avoided their gazes, “it’ll be better if I go by myself. You know, to clear my mind.” I hesitated and then turned away from their room. Bustling down the hallway, I opened my door and quickly shut it behind me. Pulling my phone out, I texted Tara and told her to go find Edmund. I’d let him explain things instead.
My blood was running hot. Ever since Miles had woken up, I’d been distracted, and I couldn’t afford to lose focus. Maybe separating myself from everyone was best — my mind would stay solely on the path ahead. Athena could continue to chase Miles and Nicholas would well, be himself. And I would do my best to avoid him.
Shaking my hands out and rolling my head along my shoulders, my mind was beginning to clear from the garbled contention. Then Nicholas’ deep voice echoed up the hallway.
A soft rap on my door sounded a moment later. Wringing my wrists and moistening my lips, I pulled in a calming breath before cracking the door open. But what rested outside my quarters sent my resolve into a whirlwind of panic.
Inviting, copper eyes bored into mine as he clutched the top of the doorframe with his fingertips. A coy smile spread across his lips, and he gradually leaned in, causing a spike of warm electricity to burn between us. “Are you ready?” he asked, his eyes swimming with hunger.
I took an involuntary step back, hoping to ease the intensity between us. To my dismay, it magnified and then weakened my inhibitions even more. Jerking my chin away, I cleared my throat. “I think it would be better if I went by myself…” I trailed off, closing my eyes to keep my composure.
“Hmm,” he hummed. “You can’t think that line would work on me.”
Keeping my features slack, I met his gaze. “It was worth a try.”
Releasing his hold on the doorframe, he stepped into my room with heavy eyes. Hesitance touched his demeanor as he raised his hand and brushed my cheek with the back of his fingers. “Abby,” he whispered, licking his lips and pulling in a deep breath of my hair. “I will never understand why you fight me so much.”
Agitation raced in my veins like rocket fuel. Agitation from the way he affects me – why does he affect me like this? And frustration that I didn’t know him as well as I thought. What will he do in a tough situation? Does he defend what we believe or does he still find humans to be insignificant and vile?
Clenching my fists, I broke free from Nicholas’ spell with a quick exhale. Locking confident eyes with his, I scowled deeply. “You’re so concerned about what I’m doing that you refuse to see what’s going on around you! What do you have to say about world events, Nicholas? You survived the unfortunate conditions at Salvus, and your biggest worry is me? What about Tara’s father? My mother? The safety of those families that you people find despicable? Valens are parading around and doing what they please because they can! Where is the justice for these innocent victims?”
Nicholas’ eyes narrowed, and he clenched his jaw, his eyes never leaving me. His demeanor shifted into a standoffish, somber state. Several heavy seconds passed before he spoke. “Of course I think about them. Following you and your family around has… opened my eyes,” he answered.
I shook my head at him incredulously. “And what of your mother?” I whispered, watching the sting from those words affect him. I knew they were harsh, but they needed to be spoken.
When he didn’t answer, I cleared my throat and softened my tone. “What’s going to happen if we meet Kayla at the right place at the right time? You’ve seen how she’s ripped families apart — families you’ve met and now know personally. You can’t expect it to end well for her.” He cast his eyes to the floor but stood unmoving.
“I’m not trying to be mean — I’m just trying to figure out where you stand.” I folded my arms and watched his reaction as he remained deep in thought. So many emotions were surfacing I struggled to get a grip on what he was feeling. My stomach twisted with guilt as I watched the torment from my words take hold of him.
Eventually, he squared himself with me boldly, his eyes fierce and intimidating. His lips pressed into a straight line, and he pulled in a quick breath. “I know what needs to be done.”
I started to speak, but a sudden knock at my door distracted me as curious, green eyes peeked in. Nicholas breezed out of my room a moment later, leaving a whirl of emotions building inside me. I huffed and felt my cheeks flush, then plastered on a fake smile and faced Miles. “Hey, what’s up?”
He cleared his throat, his expression neutral. “I was sent up to get you. They want you down there when they bring in Tara.”
Nodding, I pulled in a deep breath to calm my agitation. My nerves were so rattled that I couldn’t bring myself to speak, so I turned away from him.
“Are you okay?” he asked a moment later.
I exhaled in a quick rush. “He drives me insane!”
Miles bit
back a smile and shoved his hands in his pockets. “What happened?” he asked.
I threw my hands in the air and started pacing. “I can’t explain it! When we get near each other, I feel more. It doesn’t make sense — it happens for no reason at all. I can choose to ignore it — not without effort, but I can do it. He’s the one that cannot fight it, and it leaves us bickering.”
“Why are you choosing to ignore it?” he asked curiously.
I stopped my pacing and met his gaze. “Because it doesn’t make sense. We hardly have anything in common. Honestly, I can’t even decide if he’s an ally. Yeah, he wants me safe. But what happens when someone he knows steps in? Or he faces his mom?” I shook my head and smirked. “I don’t think he even knows that answer.”
Miles lowered his eyes and hesitated before speaking. “Do you think… maybe it’s love you’re feeling, Abby?”
I plopped down on my bed and stared at the floor. Minutes passed before I spoke again, my voice coming out above a whisper. “Of course I love him, but it’s not in the way I think love should be. That’s what’s confusing me.” My features turned thoughtful as my mind shifted far away.
“When I think of love, it's not nervous butterflies or eyes filled with lust. I think about taking care of him while he's sick, writing extra notes for a class he misses, or easing his pain when life gets hard. True love holds no debt. It’s never earned — it grows.” I shook my head and locked my eyes with his.
Realizing I let my guard down, I wiped my palms on my pants and stood up. A teasing grin touched my lips as I walked toward Miles. “But what do I know? I’m just a little girl learning her place in this scary Valens world.”
His expression appeared conflicted but softened as I neared. I held his gaze as I breezed past him. “I better get down there. You comin’?”
“Yeah, right behind you.”
I made it to the stairwell when I realized Miles hadn’t moved. He lingered in my doorway deeply in thought, his hands gripping the doorframe.