Tina and her friends are standing beside two cars, laughing and shouting and clearly inebriated. I realize I hadn’t really thought this plan all the way through. There are seven people in Tina’s group, three girls and four guys. I glance at the cars, both mid-sized sedans. “You know, I feel bad just inserting myself into your plans. I can find another way to get to my car.”
One of the guys snickers. “She just said insert.” The rest of them start laughing and I resist the urge to tell them to grow up. But they’re drunk, and most drunks act like three-year-old kids.
Tina shakes her head and loops her arm through mine. “Come on now, Lexi. We’re practically family, you and me. Between Caroline and Reed, we’re closer than in that damn Kevin Bacon game.”
“I know, but I don’t want to interrupt—”
Tina shoves my head down and pushes me into the back of the open door, sliding in beside me as a guy gets in on the other side. My chest tightens. I don’t want to ride in a car with a drunk driver, but to push my way out at this point would make a scene. I watch as one of the guys gets into the driver’s side. Thankfully, he seems more sober then the rest.
I grab the seat in front of me and lean over his shoulder. “How much have you had to drink?”
He looks over and laughs in my face. “Calm down. I don’t need another DUI. I’m the designated driver. I haven’t had a drink in over an hour.”
His breath in my face confirms his statement.
I ease back in the seat while Tina and the guys laugh.
“You’re an uptight little virgin, aren’t you?” Tina asks, resting the back of her head on the seat.
“I’m not a virgin,” I murmur before stopping to consider what I’m saying.
Tina sits up, narrowing her eyes as she studies me with this new piece of information. “You’re just full of surprises tonight, Curly Sue.” She reaches up and bats one of my curls. “I might just keep you around for entertainment purposes.”
“I just want a ride to my car.”
“We’ll get there.” She leans back again, closing her eyes.
The car backs out and we pull out of the parking lot and head toward the university campus. We ride in silence and I think Tina has fallen asleep until we approach the west edge of campus. “Take Curly Sue to her car,” she murmurs, her eyes still closed.
The car turns into the parking lot and I point out my car, one of the only vehicles left.
Tina sits up again, chuckling. “A Volvo?”
I clench my teeth. I can see why Caroline didn’t have very many nice things to say about her.
The driver stops next to my car and I wait for Tina to move so I can get out, but she just keeps watching me. “I like you, Curly Sue.” She turns serious and looks deep into my eyes. “I think a part of you is tired of being the good girl. When you want to have a good time, call me and I’ll take you out.”
I push on her arm. “Thanks for the offer. I’ll consider it.”
She laughs as she gets out of the car and I slide out of the seat and head toward my Volvo.
“Your secret is safe with me,” she says.
I stop. “What secret?”
“Where you were tonight. You don’t want Reed to know, otherwise you would have called him.” When I don’t answer, she shakes her head in disgust. “Come on, Curly Sue. I’ve played this game before. I’m the master at. But against my better judgment, I’ll keep this between the two of us.”
I narrow my eyes in suspicion. “Why?”
She shrugs and hangs onto the car door. “Call it solidarity.” Before I can ask her what she means, she gets in and the car drives away.
Chapter Nine
Lexi
Reed is waiting for me when I get home. He’s on the sofa, his eyes glued on the television, which is providing the only light in the room.
I shut the door and take off my coat before he finally focuses his attention on me. “I hope you had a good time tonight, Lexi, because you won’t be going out again for a long time.”
I’m too tired to argue with him, but can’t let him think I’m willing to kowtow to his wishes. “Reed, I love you. You know that.” I take several steps toward him. “But I can’t keep doing this. We can’t keep doing this.”
“I’m glad we agree on that.”
“No, Reed. We don’t. You can’t shut me away in this apartment for the rest of my life.”
He rolls his eyes. “It’s not for the rest of your life, Lexi.”
“Then how long, Reed? How long until I can be like everyone else in the world?”
“Lexi.”
“No, it’s a legitimate question.” My voice is soft and controlled. “How long?”
He closes his eyes and rubs his forehead. “I don’t know.”
“I need a parole date. Do I get time off for good behavior?”
His shoulders stiffen. “Now you’re acting like a child again.”
“And you’re acting like a parent. But you’re not my father and I’m not a child.” I take in a breath. “I know you threw everything away for me—”
“Lexi, I didn’t throw everything away for you.”
“But you did. You gave up Stanford—your dream. You did it for me. And I understand how scared you must have been bringing me here. I was a mess…I know that. But I’m better now, Reed. I’m stronger than you give me credit for.”
He takes in a deep breath and releases it.
I sit on the sofa next to him and take his hand. “Reed, I love you more than you can possibly know. I will never in a million years be able to repay you for what you’ve done for me, but I can’t keep living this way. So I’m asking you: When are you going to let me live without these restrictions?”
“I don’t know,” he finally says. “Until I feel comfortable letting you go.”
“That’s never going to happen and you know it.”
He stiffens and pulls his hand from me. “Don’t push me. Not tonight.”
He’s angry anyway, so I decide to go for it. “Why have you been on edge over the last few weeks?”
“Lexi.” He’s shut down again, but he’s hurting me, and he’s hurting Caroline. We deserve some answers.
“Does it have anything to with Mom and Dad?”
He turns back to face the TV. “We’ll discuss relaxing your restrictions tomorrow.”
This is more than I hoped to get from him tonight, but I just can’t let this go. “I know something’s seriously wrong. I’ve only seen you act like this one other time, back in high school when you were accused of cheating on a test. Has something like that happened here, Reed?”
Anger hardens his face as he turns back to look at me. “I’m not discussing this with you. Now go to bed.”
I realize his voice has risen several times now and Caroline still hasn’t emerged from their bedroom. “Where’s Caroline?”
“Gone.”
My stomach falls to the floor and I feel lightheaded. “What do you mean gone?”
“She left and said she didn’t know when she’d be back.”
“Where did she go? ” My voice rises with my panic.
“She didn’t tell me.”
My anger bursts loose. “You’d follow me to a club and make me leave, but you won’t even track down your own fiancée?”
“That’s different and you know it.”
I shake my head, tears burning my eyes. “How is it different, Reed? Are you saying you don’t love her anymore?”
“This is none of your fucking business, Lexi. Now go to bed.”
“It is my business! She lives with us. She’s like a sister to me. I want to know what you did to drive her away. And I want to know where she is.”
Reed lunges from the sofa and turns to face me. “You’d choose her over me?”
“Does there have to be a choice? You’ve been impossible to live with over the last few weeks, you know, and you drove her to tears this afternoon. She tried to make lasagna for you, because she’s worried that you mi
ght have found someone else. We both know that she hates to cook. Did you even acknowledge that she went to all that trouble?”
The color drains from his face.
“For the love of God, stop being so stubborn and tell me what’s wrong.”
“Why would she think I’ve found someone else?” The way he asks it sends terror racing through my veins.
I’ve said way more than I should have, so I can’t tell him about Caroline’s visit to his office. “Have you found someone else?”
Tears fill his eyes. “How can you even ask me that?”
“Answer the question, Reed.”
He turns away, looking devastated. “This is between Caroline and me.”
“That’s not fair.”
Anger blazes in his eyes. “Life’s not fair, Lexi. Get used to it.”
“You know what Reed? I got an up close and personal view of how unfair life is last April. When I was raped.”
He cringes.
“I was raped…and while we’ve dealt with the fallout from that night for months and months, we’ve never addressed what actually happened.”
“And we never will.”
“Reed!”
He shakes his head violently. “Don’t you see, Lexi?” His voice breaks. “I can’t. I don’t think I can hear the details and survive it.”
His words hit my chest and steal my breath away.
He turns off the television, then rubs a hand over his face. Dark circles underscore his eyes. “When you were a baby, you had a nanny. I’m sure Mom never told you that, because you didn’t have one for very long.” He looks into my face, his cheeks splotchy. “I wasn’t like most boys my age. I actually wanted a baby sister. I was excited when Mom and Dad brought you home and I loved to see you every chance I got. But whenever I went to the nursery, the nanny would shoo me away. One afternoon, I camped outside your door and refused to leave until I got to see you. I stayed there for hours, and you cried the entire time. Finally, I ran into the room and saw that the nanny wasn’t even in there. She’d slipped out the terrace door after propping a bottle on a pillow in your bassinet. It had rolled off, though, so you couldn’t drink it. Somehow I managed to pick you up and take you to the rocking chair and give you your bottle.”
My mouth drops open in disbelief.
“You stopped crying the minute I gave you the bottle. You were starving. I had finished feeding you by the time the nanny came back. She was furious that I was holding you, but I think she was more concerned about having been caught. She tried to take you from me, but I kicked her in the leg and threatened to hurt her if she ever came near you again.” He looks up at me. “Amazingly enough, Mom actually believed me when I told her what happened. Maybe it was because I was still holding you when I found her.”
I shake my head. “Reed, you were four. What four-year-old kid does that?”
He shrugs, looking defeated. “The nanny was fired, but I was upset with myself that I’d let you cry so long before intervening.” He pauses. “I made a promise to you that day. I promised you that I would always be there for you when you needed me, that I would never let anyone hurt you again.” He voice breaks. “I failed you, Lex. Someone hurt you in the most vile, disgusting, dehumanizing way and there wasn’t a fucking thing I could do about it. I had no idea that it had even happened until after the fact.”
I grab his hand, tears clogging my throat. “You can’t protect me from everything, Reed.”
“Maybe not, but I can try.”
I pull him into a hug, squeezing my arms around his back. I cry onto his shoulder, and he holds me tight. After a minute or so, I pull back and look into his face. “Reed, I mean it, you have no idea how much I love you.”
He smoothes the hair back from my wet cheeks. “Go to bed. We’ll talk more in the morning.”
I kiss his cheek and then head toward the hall.
“She’s with Scarlett.”
I stop and look back at him. He’s staring at the dark TV screen. “Caroline went to Scarlett and Tucker’s. That was the first place I called.”
Fresh tears burn my eyes as I head down the hall. I have no idea how to fix this, but I have to find a way.
***
I try to talk to Reed on Saturday like he promised we would, but he spends most of the day out of the apartment. Caroline doesn’t return until Sunday afternoon, and that’s only after Reed finally goes to get her. When she comes home, they disappear into their room.
I spend the weekend focusing on my homework, the summer program, and brainstorming fundraising ideas. The play was the perfect way to get the university and the town to come together. We ended up making nearly eight thousand dollars, which is amazing, but we still need so much more. I can’t ignore the fact that many of the university students have deep pockets. I need to figure out how to get them to spend some of that money.
I decide to call Sylvia to run a few ideas by her, but I haven’t talked to her since Friday night besides texting to tell her that I made it home okay. I’m worried it will be awkward. The only way to address this is head-on. As soon as she answers, I launch right into my apology.
“Sylvia, I’m sorry I ditched you.”
“No. Don’t say that. I forced you to go and I knew you weren’t having fun. I should have left instead of making you find another way home.”
“I didn’t want to ruin the night for you. Did the guy you were talking to ask you out?”
She hesitates. “Well…yeah.”
“That’s awesome! Tell me all about him.”
She spends the next five minutes telling me about Ken. She has a date with him tonight and she’s trying to figure out what to wear.
“Do you want me to come over and help?”
“You know my clothes. Just suggest something.”
“Where are you going?”
“Dinner and a movie.”
I make a suggestion and then tell her a bit about the brainstorming I’ve been doing. “I need something that will make Southern students spend their money.”
“An event with lots of beer.”
“I’m serious, Sylvia.”
“So I am.”
“I was hoping to keep it legal.”
“So I guess prostitution is out.”
“Very funny.” But the thought jogs a memory. “When Tina figured out who I was the other night, she mentioned that I should start a match-making business. She offered to put together some probability charts to help.”
“You’re thinking about starting a match-making service?” she asks in disbelief.
“No, but what if we did something similar? Like a bachelor auction or something.”
She’s silent for a moment. “That could actually work. The key is to get some really hot guys to participate.”
“True.”
“But we should include girls as well. Guys are just plain stupid around sexy girls. They’ll pay out the nose to go out with a hottie.”
I believe that. “Let’s bring this idea up at the committee meeting tomorrow. I think we’re onto something.”
“Sounds good.”
“Have fun on your date.”
I hang up and then work on homework until it’s time for bed. The only time I see any sign of my brother or Caroline is when Reed emerges from his room to get some food for them. No one’s more happy that they’re back together than I am, but this makes it painfully obvious that it’s past time for me to move out.
Now I just need to break the news to Reed.
Chapter Ten
Ben
Monday’s are a bitch. My history class is still kicking my ass, but at least I feel semi-prepared for the exam. When I walk out of the room, I’m certain I’ve made a C. Not ideal and not up to my 3.8 GPA, but I’m letting a lot of things slide this semester. All I need is my damn diploma. No one will give a shit if I got a C in American History.
I’m at the Higher Ground coffee shop studying for my thermal stress class when someone sits in the chair across
from me. I look up, and this time I’m not surprised to see Tucker.
“Hey,” he says. “I hear you got the math lab job.”
I give him a wry smile.
“Does that grin mean you want to thank me or kick my ass?”
I snicker. “The jury’s still out.”
He laughs too.
“Seriously, Price,” I say. “Thank you. The pay is great and they work around my schedule, even if Pendergraft’s a dick.”
“After what happened this weekend, I agree with you about Pendergraft, and don’t sweat it, I helped you for purely selfish reasons,” he says. “My girl was working too much before they hired you.”
I’m curious about what happened this weekend, but not enough to ask. “Well, thanks nonetheless,” I say.
He stands and ruffles my hair. “You’re welcome.”
I push his hand off my head with a snort and turn back to my homework. After my class, I grab a quick lunch and head to the math lab. Scarlett and Tina are at separate tables with an empty table between them, each sitting with someone. Tina’s quite the enigma and I’m still trying to figure her out. She’s not like any other math major I’ve ever known, and in her case, that’s not necessarily a good thing.
“I think it’s a great idea,” Scarlett says to the blonde girl across from her. “I’d love to help, but I’m not sure about my summer school schedule yet.”
“That’s okay,” the girl says. “What I really need right now are volunteers for the auction.”
Her voice sounds familiar and I scour my memory trying to place her, but her back is to me and I can’t see her face.
Scarlett laughs. “Well, we both know that I’m out, but Tina might be available.”
The blonde turns to look at Tina and her face scrunches. “Yeah, I don’t know.”
Tina’s talking to the student at her table and doesn’t seem to notice.
I take a seat at my table and try not to be too obvious about checking out Scarlett’s friend.
“You need guys too, right?” Scarlett asks.
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