by Lynn Carmer
“That’s what you want to say to me, right now?”
“No, of course not. But you’re so mad, and… I don’t want you to be mad at me, and… I don’t want you to get in trouble because you killed somebody, and… I don’t want you to be mad… at me,” she finished weakly.
“You said that part already.”
“I know. That was the important part.”
Shaking his head, he looked up as if completely exasperated. “What were you stopping me from doing? What were you saving me from?”
He still wouldn’t really look at her, and it was breaking her heart. Not giving him an inch, she placed her hands against Dare’s cheeks, still terrified he would reject her. “I know you’d never hurt her. I don’t care what she says.”
“You did scream ‘don’t do it’ right before you tackled me.” He stepped back carefully and placed his hands on her forearms, as if to pull her palms from his cheeks.
She dug her hands into his hair and slowly massaged his scalp, tugging at his hair, hoping he loved the feeling as much as she did. His eyes squeezed shut for a moment in pleasure, then popped open and glared, as if she were trying to fool him. Frustrated with his scowl, she gave his hair a sharp tug right before she disentangled her fingers. He was pulling away from her!
“Ow!”
Now she just felt empty without his arms around her. “I might have said that, but I didn’t think you’d hurt her. She’s your ex, right?”
He nodded and placed his hands in his pockets.
“I don’t like her.”
No smile. “Caelen.”
“For the record, I thought you were going to kill her new boyfriend, not her.” She said over his shoulder when she noticed Janie and Brynn hadn’t left. “Go away.” That’s how Brynn could have taken care of her, by making her go away.
Finally, her sister got the hint and dragged the confused woman toward the firehouse. A short, dark-haired guy jogged up to the two of them. Dare eyed him, carefully watching but didn’t make a move to charge.
“Yeah, go away.” Dare directed his statement toward the firefighters who found their whole conversation fascinating. When none of them moved, he grabbed her by the arm, his touch still surprisingly gentle, and nudged her further away from the crowd.
“Are you still mad at me?” She held her breath.
“I’m so pissed, I can’t think.” He threw his hands in the air. “What do you want? What do you want from me?”
Everything. “I want you to listen to me. Every single word I have to say, and I can’t afford to wait for you to calm down because that may never happen, so here goes. Everything The Devil said was true.”
He held up a hand. “Not another word. I swear to God, I’m going crazy. Standing here with you, her, and her stupid-ass boyfriend, who keeps eyeing me—I can’t take it!”
“Tough. You’re going to hear it all. He was my boss, he had two beautiful kids and his wife was lovely. I met her the day before he fired me.” She took a deep breath. “Oh yeah, and he did it in front of the whole department, and pretended like I’d come on to him. And that we’d never been together.”
“You’re making it worse, not better!”
“I know. I want you to know the worst.”
“Why?”
“Because… Because I want to be with you. Really be with you. Not because of a stupid agreement but because,” her voice caught, “you want me. And if you’re ever going to forgive me, you have to know how bad it really was.”
He looked at her, finally looked at her, and she saw anger behind his eyes, making his gaze burn golden-brown. “How could you have been with somebody like that? Did you know he had a wife? Kids?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“That’s it. Enough.” He turned to walk away.
“He lied to me at first.”
“Lied?” He asked the question with his back still turned, but at least he wasn’t moving. For now.
“He said he was separated. He went on and on about his wife. He said terrible things.” She felt like pulling out her hair when she remembered the sunny, trusting smile on the women’s face when she showed up to surprise Victor at work.
“Why didn’t you say that in the first place?” he asked as he pivoted around.
“Because that’s not the point!”
“Yes, it is!”
“No. I didn’t want to look. I didn’t want to see. I liked partying with my friends. I liked that he took off and I had my independence. The hints were everywhere. He lied to me, but I was his personal assistant. I knew he maintained another home; I even saw the credit card bills. He promised me the world, but I was blind. Purposely blind.”
He ran his hand threw his hair and yanked so hard, his eyebrows met his hair line. “What am I supposed to do with that? Did you love him?”
“I thought I did.”
He sucked in air, quick and hard.
She shouldn’t be the only one confessing here. Pointing a well-aimed finger at his chest, she started to poke. “Why did you come here? Why would you come and see your ex-wife after all this time? What? The minute we get in a fight, you come running back to her? You’ve been divorced for over a year.”
“It was because of Brynn.” He cleared his throat. “She said I might be confused about some stuff. Crisscrossing my feelings for Janie with you. Hell, I don’t know. I’m not good at this stuff. But after I found out what you did, I was so red hot … It felt like, like you were the one who cheated on me.”
“I would never do that to you. But you have to believe that. Deep down, you have to believe me. I wish I had a crystal ball and saw you coming back into my life.”
“Yeah.” He blew out a breath.
“Did you get what you wanted? From her?”
“Maybe. Hell. I don’t know. I learned that we’re all totally screwed up, because of childhood. It’s just—She pissed me off all over again. Told me she’d been afraid of me. That we didn’t communicate.”
“She’s an idiot.”
“I know, right?” His rusty laugh was short lived. Then he looked off into the distance at his ex and her boyfriend, who apparently had no trouble communicating because they were in the middle of a big fight. She didn’t look afraid of him. He then glanced at Brynn who was talking to all the sexy firemen. “I guess I can’t kill him.”
“Nope.”
“I’m going to have to work with him. Guard his back and trust he has mine.”
“Can you do it?”
“Don’t know. But I can try. No matter how much it pisses me off.
“Why does it still piss you off if you’re over her?’ The question was asked gently, but Caelen felt a long slow burn in her chest. All she was interested in was honesty and he had to be honest with her. They had little else between them except childhood memories and intense chemistry. And she’d been duped before. No more compromising, or sharing, not again. Too long she’d allowed a man to make her feel like second best. Now she wanted it all. His all.
“Because I’m sick of people betraying me. Sick of people lying. If she didn’t want to be with me, she should have told me. And I’m sick of people thinking I might explode at any second. Do you know that if I’d started yelling like this when we were married, she would’ve run into the other room and locked the door? I always thought she just didn’t want to be around me when I was like that. But she was afraid. Afraid of me! The man she married.” He put his hands on his hips and looked down at his shoes.
She let him talk and just listened.
“But it’s not about her, anymore. I was over her a long time ago. She—No, we weren’t a good fit. But I still hate the way she ended it. And I hate that I have to work with the guy who helped her betray me. But honest to God, seeing him today and how he acts? She can have him. He’s a baby. A brat.”
“Yeah.” She listened to everything he said, intently, but she still had one last question burning a hole in her brain. “Now to the hard part.”
His head sn
apped up and his eyes narrowed. “There’s more?”
“Yeah.”
“I can’t take it. Don’t tell me.” He started to pace. “It’s like you want me to hate you. God, Caelen, I don’t want to hate you.” His look was pleading.
Her breath caught in her throat. She didn’t want him to hate her, either. But she had to say it, she had to ask. “Can you ever trust me? I’m not going to say forgive because I didn’t betray you.” She adjusted her purse strap, not realizing until this minute she’d been holding it the whole time. “I betrayed myself, by dating Victor.
She blew out a breath and continued, suddenly feeling tongue tied, unable to get it all out. “I have dated some real assholes. But, what pisses me off about Victor is I knew better. Brynn says I don’t think I deserve better.”
She peeked up at Dare, and he stood, typical pose, hands hooked in his belt loop just listening and waiting. Here goes nothing. “But I—I really care about you. Like, a forever kind of care. I’d feel like an idiot saying anything more, because we’ve been together a total of four days.” She fanned her eyes, feeling the waterworks building. “I want…”
“No.”
“No?” Caelen couldn’t breathe. He was rejecting her, cutting her heart out with one word.
“It’s not good enough. Your words are hollow. I want more. I want everything.”
“But it’s only been four days.”
“It’s been fifteen years!”
“God, Dare. You scare the shit out of me. I’m a wreck. I just got out of a messed-up relationship. I’m practically homeless. I’m about to lose the ‘almost’ job I have right now. I don’t want to lose you, too.”
He shrugged, his muscles bunching with the small movement. “Then say it.”
Caelen shook with fear, the deep freeze penetrating her bones. She knew exactly what he meant, what he needed. But could she provide? Could she put herself out there again? She knew with a certainty, if she wanted Dare in her life, she would have to find a way. But she wanted to be true to herself. She didn’t know if she could say the three little words he craved, but she could tell him everything she loved about him. “I love… the feel of your body.”
He frowned, his nostrils flaring as he studied her. He shook his head back and forth in denial. “That’s not what I meant.”
“You told me to say it. I’m saying it! These are my words. This is what I want to say.” She took a deep breath. “I love the taste of your lips. Did you know I have been obsessed with them from the first day we met?” she asked with a soft smile. “I love the way you feel, the way you touch me, the way you drive me crazy with your smart mouth.”
Her voice caught in her throat. “I don’t want to spend another day without you. I want to show you how I feel. Words—After the last few months, I don’t trust words very much.”
Dare still hadn’t moved. He just waited, refusing to make it easy on her.
Caelen fought back the tears. All the firefighters, everyone, faded back out of notice. “I can’t—I want it to be real. I want to earn it!”
A faint blush coated his cheekbones, but he wouldn’t say a word. Was he pulling away?
Caelen grabbed the front of his shirt. “You have to give me a chance. I want new terms, extension of the original four-day commitment. You’re mine and I’m yours, remember?”
When he didn’t respond, she let her hands drop away.
An eternity stretched between them before he finally took a step forward. His strong hands cupped her cheeks. His face was still set in stone, and Caelen’s heart spluttered, then stopped. This was it. He was going to say goodbye. “It was easier to say all that instead of ‘I love you?’”
Her eyes welled and silent tears tracked down her cheeks, plopping on his arms in fat drops. She nodded, yes.
He rested his forehead against hers. “I’ll take it. I’ll take whatever I can from you.” He took a deep breath and rested his forehead against hers. “I’ve been in love with you since junior high, but I was only smart enough to figure it out in high school, right before you left for college. I didn’t want to hold you back, but… I dreamt of you, yearned for you, and last night, when I finally had you,” he cleared his throat and tugged her closer, “you were everything I dreamed of. You’ve changed my life.” He laughed softly and asked, “Do you want to know what sealed the deal for me?”
Caelen nodded, unable to speak, absolutely floored by the depth of his words.
“When a bombshell Betty came up to me, not once, but several times, and said the six most beautiful words in the English language, I want to make a deal.”
Caelen laughed through her tears, so happy, so grateful to have Dare in her life. He was never afraid to tell her how he felt. Never afraid to make her feel special. Never afraid to tell her the cold, honest truth. She cleared her throat, her voice cracking with emotion. “I thought you were going to say your six favorite words were ‘Put your mouth on my dick.’”
Dare tensed, then threw his head back and laughed. The full body laugh shook him as he bent over, throwing out an arm and using her shoulder for support. “You didn’t—”
She clamped her hands on his face and planted another fat kiss, right on his lips, while he was still laughing. Teeth bumped and tongues tangled. Brynn and the rest of the crew were cheering and clapping. Masculine whoops and cries filled the air, making Caelen smile through her tears. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re so lucky you forgave me.”
“You’re lucky—” Dare half-kissed, half-laughed while plastering his warm wet lips against her own, whispering, “I love you, I love you…”
“Caelen, it’s 7:55 pm!” Brynn looked like a lunatic, racing as fast as her soft leather boots would take her. “We’ve got five minutes.”
“What? My class! I’ll never make it. I teach at 8:00 pm. The Devil’s going to win. He’s going to get the school.” Caelen started limping back to Brynn’s car.
“Oh hell no. That douchebag isn’t getting anything. I’ll drive.” But instead of heading toward Brynn’s car, he started to jog back toward the firehouse. “Boys, we’ve got a non-emergency, emergency. We’re gonna have to use the engine or else Ms. Belle’s Charm School will be shut down.”
The whole crew launched into action. Ms. Belle was a Sierra Madre staple; there wasn’t one business or shop she hadn’t visited, hadn’t helped, over the years. Everyone loved her. No way they’d let anything happen to her school. To Caelen’s surprise, the Boy Toy was one of the first to jump in the truck.
Maybe there was hope yet.
Dare jogged ahead, and Caelen tried to keep up, tippy-toe running with her broken shoe in hand. “A little help here.”
Dare turned, started laughing again, and finally jogged back to get her, but instead of going all “An Officer and a Gentleman” on her, he tossed her over his shoulder.
“Dare!” She reached back, holding one hand over her butt. Her ass was big enough. He might as well paint a bulls-eye on it when she was in this position. “Please don’t tell them what my class is about.”
“Never. But I have a feeling it won’t be long before their girlfriends and wives find out about it.” In thirty seconds flat, they were on the engine passing by Janie, who turned in open-mouthed disbelief, eventually waving, hesitantly, as they whizzed by with sirens blaring, racing down the street.
Chapter 36
‡
“HERE’S TO CAELEN and a job well done!” Dacey raised her glass in a celebratory toast.
Caelen slumped against the couch, her devil horns poking her in the ear. She’d been too tired to take off the costume. All four sisters were holed up in Ms. Belle’s office. Somehow it made them feel a little closer to her, especially in this moment. “Was it a good job? I was so panicked, it’s all a blur.”
“It was awesome!”
Caelen glanced over at Baby A with big eyes. “Thanks, Athena.” Her sister’s praise warmed her like no other. Nothing’s better than winning over the family skeptic.
“Yeah, seriously. I was taking major notes.”
“Brynn.” Caelen said on a giggle. Another sister with another surprising comment. “One class down, three more to go.”
“Where’s Dare?”
“I assume at home. I refused to let him attend the class, even though he and the guys at the fire department saved the day. I thought he might come by the Angels and Devils Costume party, but he said he wanted to give us some time together and would start throwing rocks at my window later on tonight.” Caelen sighed. That man. Her man.
“So you guys are good?” Brynn asked, hesitantly.
“Really good.” Caelen said with a dreamy smile until she remembered the level in which her sister had meddled. She shot her a narrow-eyed look for good measure.
“You were so thorough, Caelen. My God, Dare’s dick must have been so very, very happy.” Dacey said, wiggling her eyebrows, Groucho Marks style, for effect.
All four sisters laughed together. Caelen took a sip of sweet bubbly, the sparkling liquid tickling her throat as it went down. “You mean Mighty Man? He was ecstatic.”
Athena choked on the champagne. “Please, please don’t tell me he named it.”
Caelen launched into a whole new fit of giggles and could only nod in affirmation.
“That’s just… I mean, that’s kind of gross, isn’t it? That would totally have turned me off. I think.” Dacey made a face and moved onto the floor. Apparently, the loveseat shared by all four Quads didn’t give her enough room. The sprawling white wings that had been a part of her angel costume were hanging safely in the closet.
“You would think so, but if you’d seen it…” Caelen’s deep sigh travelled through her whole body. “I can only say, touched by the gods.”
“Really?” Brynn asked, her hair still in a pony and her dark-rimmed glasses still perched on her nose. Otherwise, she was decked out head-to-toe, cherub style, harp and all. “It was that pretty?”
“Lucky, girl.” Athena said as she tossed off her devil horns, her only allowance toward wearing a costume.