“Do you want to come in?” I ask.
He frowns. “I still have some work to finish before a client meeting.”
I’ve been in those meetings, so I completely understand. “Okay.”
He reaches out and strokes my face. “I’ll see you on Friday.”
His fingers leave a trail of fire along my skin and I want him to pull me into his arms, but I hold still. I also want to suggest that we get together before Friday, but I know he’s probably too busy. “Yes,” I say. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”
His hand slides to the back of my neck as he leans towards me. When his lips are millimeters from mine, he stops and murmurs, “Is it okay if we kiss?”
My eyes are locked on his, and I might explode if he doesn’t kiss me now. “Yes,” I whisper, my voice revealing the urgency I feel.
His mouth lifts into a smile, then his lips come down on mine. My arms go around his neck, holding him against me, and my body urges me to forget our agreement, but I refuse to give in.
I can feel Drake’s desire in the way his lips devour mine, and I relish being in his arms. When he finally releases me, I’m breathless. The look in his eyes tells me he feels the same.
“I’d better go,” he says.
I don’t want him to, but I know that he needs to. “Okay. I’ll see you on Friday.”
A moment later he’s gone and I let myself into the apartment. Emily isn’t home, and I’m able to get my wildly beating heart under control.
The week drags by as I anticipate going dancing with Drake on Friday night. I go on two job interviews, and apply for too many jobs to count. Mid-week I get a text from Jonathan asking if I want to go out on Friday.
My stomach churns as I stare at his text. This is the moment I’ve been dreading. I’m completely optimistic when it comes to Drake, but I feel bad telling Jonathan I can’t go out with him anymore.
I consider what to tell him, then type in a message.
Ashley: Thanks for the invite, but I already have plans.
I send it and hope he’ll leave it at that. He doesn’t.
Jonathan: I understand. Are you available on Saturday?
Technically, I am, as Drake and I haven’t made plans, but I know I have to turn him down. Then I wonder what will happen if Drake and I don’t make plans. Does that mean I’ll just sit home by myself? That would suck. But I promised him I wouldn’t date anyone else, and since I would be upset if he didn’t keep up his end of the bargain, I certainly can’t break mine.
Ashley: I really had a fun time with you, but I’m seeing someone right now, so I’m not going to be able to go out with you.
I stare at the message, wondering if it’s wrong to tell him this news over a text, but then I consider that he and I were never exclusive, so he can’t have any expectations that I wasn’t seeing anyone else. Yes, I wasn’t seeing anyone else while I was dating him, but now I am. I sigh. It’s so complicated.
My finger hovers over the send button, and after hesitating for another moment, I tap the button.
“I’m sorry, Jonathan,” I say to the empty room.
He doesn’t reply, which makes me feel worse. I’ll have to see if Emily can find out from Nick how Jonathan reacted. Almost feeling like I’m back in high school, I focus on my job hunt.
When Emily gets home that night, I tell her that I finally heard from Jonathan.
“Oh?” she says. “What did he say?” She frowns. “What did you say?”
“He asked me out, but I told him I’m seeing someone so I can’t go out with him anymore.”
“Oh, Ash,” she says as she sinks onto the couch next to me. “You didn’t.”
“Of course I did. That was the deal I made with Drake.” At the look of disbelief on her face, annoyance swells within me. “What? You thought I would make Drake stick to that talking point—your talking point, may I remind you—but I wouldn’t have to? That’s all kinds of wrong, Em.”
She sighs dramatically. “It’s just not fair to Jonathan.”
“I’ve only been out with him a handful of times. I’m sure he’ll get over it.” I smile. “Can you find out from Nick what Jonathan said after he got my text?”
Emily smirks. “Why do you care?”
“I’m just curious.”
“Uh-huh.”
Gently pushing her arm, I say, “I am.” And I know that’s all it is. I’m with Drake now and I don’t want to jeopardize the relationship that we’re building, but I want to know what Jonathan thinks.
“I’ll see what I can find out.”
“Thanks.”
Forty-Two
ASHLEY
Emily doesn’t find out anything from Nick until Friday afternoon.
“Jonathan wanted to know who you’re seeing,” she says as she finishes getting ready for her date with Nick.
“Did Nick tell him?”
“Why? Is it supposed to be a secret?”
“No. I just . . . I’m wondering what he thinks about me now.”
“Well, Nick told him that you’re dating Drake, and Jonathan asked if that’s why you quit your job.”
I can see that this has the potential to get out of hand. “What does Nick know, anyway, about me and Drake?”
“I told him that you knew Drake before he hired you—but don’t worry, I didn’t tell him how you met, or that you slept with him.”
Relief flows over me. “Good. I’d rather not have him or Jonathan know all the gory details.”
“I know, right?” She smiles. “So I told him that since Drake knew you, he hired you, but that it turns out that you guys like each other, so you decided it was better not to work for him.”
“Okay, that’s a good way to explain it.”
“Thanks,” she says, obviously pleased with herself. “So, anyway, that’s what Nick told Jonathan, and Jonathan seemed to accept it.”
“Good.” I glance at the clock on the microwave. “I’d better get ready.” I’m giddy with excitement that it’s finally time to go dancing with Drake. I’ve been looking forward to it the entire week.
I spend over an hour getting ready, and after putting on a mid-thigh dress that makes me feel sexy, I pull on a sweater and walk out to my car. When I park in Drake’s driveway, I flash back to the afternoon a week and a half before when Drake came home when I was about to leave.
Desire races through me at the memory, but I force it aside and focus on our date that night. A moment later I knock on the front door, and almost immediately Drake opens it.
His gaze rakes over me and I can see the appreciation in his eyes. “You look . . . very nice,” he says.
“Thanks.” I pause. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yeah.”
When we get to the dance club we go out to the dance floor right away. Though Drake is a good dancer, he’s not as good as Jonathan, but I don’t care. I’m not interested in Drake for his dance skills, but for the way I feel when I’m with him.
When a slow song comes on I don’t need any urging from Drake to go into his arms. He wraps his arms around my waist, and I slide my arms around his neck, then nestle my face against his shoulder. He turns his head so that his lips brush my forehead, and I tilt my face towards his. Taking the hint, he leans down and kisses me, sending sensations of longing surging through me.
My arms tighten around his neck and I want him to scoop me up and carry me back to the car, then take me to his house where we’ll make love all night long. You can hold off, Ashley. You can do it. You can wait until you feel his commitment to you.
Inwardly, I frown. What if he never gets to that point?
If that happens, then it will be all the better that you held out.
Not happy with my inner voice, but knowing it’s right, I enjoy the moment and the feel of being in Drake’s arms.
DRAKE
I love the way it feels to hold Ashley in my arms, and I wonder why it took me so long to admit to myself how much I care for her, how much I want to be with her
. All week I looked forward to this night, and now that we’re together, I can’t believe how stubborn I was in insisting to myself that she was no different from all of the women I’ve dated.
The truth is, she is different. At least to me. Where women like Rachel are sophisticated, and sometimes haughty, Ashley is down to earth and genuine. Looking back, I’m not sure why I was even attracted to those other women. I guess they were all I knew. Now though, as we sway to the music, I can’t imagine going out with them when it’s only Ashley that I want.
As the realization hits me that this is not a short-term relationship that I’m getting into, I’m startled, then fear swirls within me. What if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if she loses interest in me? What if she decides she can’t stand my innate selfishness?
Heart pounding, panic growing, I have a sudden urge to flee from certain heartache. Then Ashley’s arms tighten around my neck, and I feel anchored, connected to her, and the panic begins to recede.
“Mmm,” Ashley murmurs. “You smell good.”
I press my cheek against her head, and I never want to let her go.
ASHLEY
We spend the rest of the evening dancing, occasionally stopping to have a drink, and when we’re ready to leave, we drive back to Drake’s house. I pull into his driveway and he helps me out of my seat.
“Do you want to come in?” he asks as we stand next to my car.
I really, really want to go inside with him, but I’m afraid where that will lead. Knowing I have to hold steady to our agreement, reluctantly I shake my head. “I’d better go home.”
He smiles, but I can see the disappointment in his eyes. “Thanks for taking me dancing.”
My smile matches his. “It was my pleasure.”
“Do you want to do something tomorrow?”
Surprised, but immensely pleased that he wants to see me again so soon, I smile. “Sure, what do you have in mind?”
“The snow is starting to melt, so I thought we could go on a hike.”
“I’d love to.”
“Great. I’ll come by about eleven.”
“Okay.”
He smiles. “Make sure to wear a jacket.”
Reluctant to leave, I nod. “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He circles my waist with his hands, then draws me against him.
Our eyes meet, and I see the desire etched there. As we look at each other, my resolve weakens, so I decide a quick good-bye is the best solution. I run one finger along his jaw, then curl my hand around his neck and tug him closer for a kiss.
When our mouths touch, his arms wrap tightly around me, and both my arms find their way around his neck. His kiss is urgent, insistent. He pulls back, and with half-lidded eyes, he says, “Are you sure you don’t want to come in for a while?”
I’m afraid that if I open my mouth I’ll accept his offer, so instead I shake my head the tiniest bit.
Slowly smiling, he says, “You’re not sure, or you don’t want to come in?”
Trying to give myself a moment to compose myself, I swallow, then manage to say, “I’d better go now.”
He gazes at me a moment, then loosens his hold on me. “I’m only going to let you leave because I know I’ll see you tomorrow.”
His words send my pulse fluttering. I think he wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him. Elation sweeps over me, and a wide smile fills my face. “Bye, Drake.”
He smiles in reply, and I get in my car.
Forty-Three
ASHLEY
Drake arrives at eleven, just as promised. “Let me see what you’re wearing,” he says after I invite him in.
I spin in a slow circle, then wait for Drake to finish his appraisal.
“Do you have a warm hat?” he asks.
“Uh, no. But I’m sure Emily has one I can borrow.” I smile at the man I’m falling deeper in love with. “Be right back.” I dash into Emily’s room—she’s out running errands—and dig around in her dresser until I find a cute beanie to borrow. I pull it on my head and go back into the living room.
Drake smiles at me. “Much better.”
“Are you saying it looks good on me, or that it will do the job?”
He grins. “Why not both?”
I smile in return, then walk out to his truck and climb inside.
DRAKE
The sun is shining, which helps mitigate the cool air, and as I walk with Ashley to the trailhead, I smile, realizing I’m having the time of my life. Ever since I took over for Dad I’ve worked so hard that I’ve forgotten how much I enjoy getting out and doing things for fun—like dancing, and hiking, and having snowball fights.
I glance at Ashley walking beside me and realize it’s all due to her. If it hadn’t been for her insistence that I take a break from working while we were at my cabin, I’d probably be at the office right now, like most Saturdays.
It’s due to her that I’m beginning to rekindle my love of the outdoors. It’s due to her that I’m beginning to remember what’s important to me—and it’s not working all the time. Warmth towards this beautiful woman sweeps over me, and I reach out and take her gloved hand in mine.
She turns to me with a smile, and the radiance in her face touches something deep inside of me and takes hold. I’m amazed at myself that I’m falling for her so fast and so hard. Never in a million years did I think that could happen to me.
“What are you thinking about?” she asks as she watches me.
As much as I’m coming to understand the way I feel about her, I’m still not ready to admit it. The thought of putting that kind of power into her hands—the power to crush my newly tender heart—scares me in a way that makes me understand what I must have done to some of the women I’ve dated, and I have a fresh sense of my appalling selfishness.
I smile at her and say, “I’m just realizing that it’s been too long since I’ve come out here on a springtime hike, and I miss it.”
Delight glows on her face—I can only hope it’s not just from the cold air, but perhaps partly from my company. “I’m glad you suggested it,” she says. “The only hikes I’ve been on were in the deserts around Las Vegas.” She looks at the pine trees swaying in the gentle breeze, then meets my gaze. “This is really beautiful. I love it.”
And I love you. The thought pops into my head unbidden, and a burst of heat crawls up my neck at my unschooled thought. Fortunately, I’m certain the cold air on my skin masks any blush that may have formed. With consternation, I clear my throat, then say, “Me too.”
Two hours later we return to the trailhead. During those two hours I’ve gotten to know Ashley just a little bit better, and rather than lessening my attraction to her—which deep inside I wouldn’t mind happening as that would put me back into my comfort zone—I’m drawn to her all the more.
“I don’t feel cold at all now,” she says as she pulls off the beanie, releasing a torrent of hair.
I want to run my fingers through those tangles, then move to other parts of her body until she begs me to never stop. The memory of making love to her makes me wonder what could have made me agree to her condition of no sleeping together until we’re serious with each other.
What does that mean, anyway? Do I have to declare my love for her? Love that I’m truly feeling? But would she even believe me if I said it? Or would she think I’m just trying to get around her condition?
The thought vexes me. It’s a problem I can’t easily solve, and it frustrates me. I’m a problem solver—that’s what I do. But this problem of feelings and emotions is unfamiliar territory, and I don’t like not knowing how to navigate the terrain.
Forty-Four
ASHLEY
I wonder what Drake has planned next. Is he going to work for the rest of the afternoon, or can I get him to play some more? I decide to give option two a try. “What do you want to do now?”
When my gaze meets his, I see a look in his eyes that sends a surge of wanting right to the heart of me. I
nearly gasp at the frank desire shining in his eyes, and I have to look away for a moment to regain my composure. “We could go to Circus Circus,” I say to the trees. “I’ve never been there.” When I turn back to him, the look of intensity on his face has lessened, and I meet his gaze with confidence. “What do you say?”
“That sounds like fun, but I have some other things I need to do.”
Hiding my disappointment, I smile. “You’re not going to work, are you?”
His mouth curves into a smile. “Maybe a little, but that’s not all. I have to go grocery shopping sometime, you know.”
He must sense my mood, because he reaches out and tugs me against him, and I go eagerly. After pulling his gloves off, he strokes my face as I look up at him.
“Ashley,” he murmurs.
Our eyes lock on each other, and I want to tell him that I love him, but I’m worried that will scare him off. Commitment doesn’t seem to be his best attribute, and right now I just want to enjoy spending time with him.
As I watch his face, I’m drawn to him and I think of Emily’s nickname for me. Yes, I’m a bee and he’s my honey. Holding back a giggle, I smile, and Drake smiles in return. I lay my head against his chest and listen to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat as he runs his fingers through my hair.
The chill in the air makes me shiver, and Drake wraps his arms around me, warming me with his body heat. Despite his warmth, after a few moments I shiver again.
“Time to get you somewhere warm,” he says.
His words remind me of when we first met, and how I’d been shivering so hard that my teeth chattered. He’d brought me into his home and taken care of me, and I know now that that was when I’d first started falling in love with him.
After helping me into his truck, he drives us back to Reno. At my apartment door he kisses me, then says, “I really enjoyed getting out and hiking today. Thanks for going with me.”
Drake and Ashley: The Complete Story Page 28