With my back to Drake, I pause, hoping against hope that he’ll race to my side and tell me he doesn’t mean it. But nothing happens, and I twist the knob and gently pull the door open. I step onto the porch and softly close the door behind me, then with the greatest self-will I’ve had to show in a long time, I march to my car and climb in.
With one final glance at the still-closed front door, I turn on the engine and pull away from the curb. The moment I turn off of Drake’s street, I pull to the curb and put my car in Park before allowing the tears to rush into my eyes and slide down my cheeks.
What happened back there? Why did he want to break up with me? Was it because I asked about Jasmine? Is it because he wants to be with her?
I don’t want to face facts, but I force myself to, acknowledging that when I called him on his attraction to his assistant, he decided he couldn’t hide it anymore. That was why he broke up with me.
I sob for five full minutes before getting myself under control enough to drive home.
When I walk into the apartment and find Emily there by herself, I sink onto the couch beside her and begin sobbing hysterically. When she finally gets the story out of me, she is furious.
“That dirtbag,” she says. “I should go over there right now and kick him in the balls. How dare he do this to you, Bee?”
“Don’t call me that,” I say between hitching breaths.
“I’m sorry. Of course you’re not his Bee anymore.” Her tone turns ominous. “Or maybe you are and you should sting his sorry ass.”
I can’t help but laugh at the fierceness in her voice.
“He doesn’t deserve you, Ash.”
I shake my head, and when I speak, my words are punctuated by hiccups. “No, he was right. Sometimes I do try to manipulate him.”
“You’re a woman. Of course you do.”
I look at her in surprise. “Do you manipulate Nick?”
“Sure. If necessary.”
I didn’t realize I was doing what apparently a lot of women do, and it makes me feel better to know I’m not some kind of freak. But my raised spirits are swiftly crushed when I remember the real reason Drake broke up with me. Jasmine. I can’t compete with her. She’s his assistant. She works with him everyday. I had my chance to be in her place and I quit.
Then with a shock I remember Drake’s comment when we slept together at his house that even if we were to date, he couldn’t guarantee that it would last.
Well, I guess he proved himself right, didn’t he, Ashley-girl?
A fresh wave of tears fill my eyes and I let them take me down to self-pityville.
“It will be okay,” Emily says as she rubs my back.
But it won’t be okay. Not without Drake in my life.
DRAKE
For a long time after Ashley leaves I sit at the dining room table and stare at the remnants of our meal. When she calmly agreed that we should date other people I knew I was doing the right thing. If she isn’t even willing to fight for our supposed relationship, then clearly we aren’t ready to be in said relationship.
Now she’ll be free to date whomever she wants.
At the thought, a memory comes back to me. A memory that I brushed off at the time, but which is imbued with much more meaning now.
Ashley and I had been pulled over on the side of the road, discussing our relationship, and she’d given me one of her talking points: If we were going to date, I couldn’t date other women. That had been fine as I didn’t have anyone except Ashley that I wanted to date. But when I’d pointed out that the agreement went both ways, a look of surprise had flitted across her face.
She’d been dating Jonathan at the time, and I’d known that was the only way to get him out of the picture. Evidently she hadn’t considered that angle. At the time I’d just felt victory for forcing her to stop dating him, but now I wonder if she’d been trying to get me to commit to only dating her while she kept herself free to date both me and Jonathan.
The idea inflames me and a fresh burst of anger burns in my gut.
This is why you like to be what Ashley calls a player. If you don’t commit to one woman, no one woman can get her claws into you and drag you down and make you feel the way you feel now.
I know I should be enjoying my sudden freedom, but instead I just feel a dull ache in my heart.
Just wait. It will come. The freeing sense of singleness will soon come.
Twenty-Two
ASHLEY
After tossing and turning the entire night, I barely manage to drag a brush through my hair and swipe on some mascara before filling a mug with coffee and dragging myself to work. As I settle myself into my cubicle, I wonder if Drake has already asked Jasmine out and if she accepted.
The idea sends a surge of agony through my heart, and I nearly cry out in pain. My gaze seeks out the calendar and I remember it was exactly two weeks before that Drake first told me he loved me.
I can’t believe it’s over already.
Then a memory returns, sharp and clear. A memory of the day I’d worked from his house. It was after we’d slept together and I’d realized he was about to fire me. The images flow through my mind like a movie.
“Tell me this,” I’d said. “If I don’t work for you, will you go out with me?”
He was quiet for a moment, then he’d finally said, “I don’t know. Maybe. Like I told you before, I date lots of women.”
“So it’s possible we could date?” Elated by the thought, I’d reconsidered my determination to continue working for him.
He’d gazed at me, his eyebrows pulled together. “What are you thinking?”
Should I admit it? Should I tell him how I feel? I’d smiled, ready to confess my love for him, but his next words had stopped me.
“Let’s get one thing straight, Ashley. I’m not looking for a relationship. Yes, Rachel and I are done, but I enjoy dating multiple women. I’ve never made that a secret with you.”
Now, as that conversation fills my mind, I realize that I’d been warned. He’d never made it a secret that he wanted to date multiple women, so why am I surprised that he wants to now? Did I really believe I could change him? That I was enough for him?
Embarrassed at the way I’d overestimated the effect I could have on him, a blush rises on my cheeks.
“Good morning, Ashley,” Evan says as he sits on the edge of my desk.
Forcing my brain to turn away from thoughts of Drake and back onto work, I push a smile onto my lips. “Good morning.”
“Any fun plans this weekend?”
I’m so absorbed in my sorrow that I barely register the sneer on his face, but I have no intention of admitting that Drake dumped me. “I’m still working on my plans. What about you?”
“Same here.”
As I look at his face, I feel a new affinity towards him. All along I’ve known that Evan’s been interested in me, and I’ve rebuffed every advance. When he showed up at the dance club the previous weekend, he’d obviously been competing with Drake. He’d had zero chance of winning, and I’d felt sorry for him.
Now I am the one who should be pitied, because I have zero chance against Jasmine. The difference is, I’m not even going to try. I don’t want to be the object of ridicule and scorn. Why put myself out there when I will just end up looking like a fool?
“Do you have plans for lunch?” I ask, surprising myself.
His eyes widen. “Uh, no. Why?”
“I thought it might be nice to get out of the office. Do you want to grab some lunch with me later?”
“Yeah. Sure.”
What are you doing, Ash? Encouraging Evan can’t be a good thing.
I ignore my inner voice. “Great.”
“Okay. I’ll stop by at lunchtime.” When Evan leaves my cubicle he has a smile on his face, and I’m oddly pleased that I managed to place it there.
At least one of us is happy.
I make it through the morning without constantly thinking about Drake, and just before no
on Evan comes to pick me up.
“Is this a good time?” he asks.
I grab my purse and stand. “Yep.”
“Where do you want to go?” Evan asks as we ride the elevator to the parking garage.
Without thinking twice, I suggest a restaurant near Drake’s office, then immediately examine my decision. Are you hoping to see him having lunch with Jasmine? Are you that much of a sadist?
“Sounds great,” Evan says. “Do you want to take my car or yours?”
I offer to drive, and before long we’re sitting in a booth eating our meal. Drake’s nowhere in sight, and I’m glad as it would be beyond awkward if he were to see me here with Evan.
“Are you okay?” Evan asks. “You seem preoccupied.”
“Oh. I, uh, I was just thinking about the Harrison account.”
“Oh yeah? What about it?”
I dive into an explanation of what I’d been working on before lunch, hopeful he’ll be convinced that that is all that’s on my mind.
When we get back to the office, I bury myself in work and don’t get home until late.
DRAKE
It’s past time for me to go home, but I find I don’t want to be there. That will only bring up the memory of my disastrous evening with Ashley the night before. After she left I didn’t sleep well and came into work before anyone else arrived.
Despite my distracted mind, I managed to get a decent amount of work done, but now that the weekend is here, and I don’t have anything Ashley-related to look forward to, I wonder if I should just lay out a blanket on the floor of my office and spend the weekend here. I’m going to work all weekend anyway. Why bother going home?
“Mr. Drake?” Jasmine says from the doorway of my office.
I look up and hold back a frown. Hiring her had been the catalyst that had led to my break-up with Ashley. I don’t hold Jasmine in any way responsible—in fact, her appearance has led me to two very important truths. One, according to Ashley, I’m destined to fail in my quest for commitment. Two, Ashley has no problem manipulating me and my feelings.
Fresh anger pumps through my veins, but I push it down as I smile pleasantly at my assistant. “Yes?”
“If you don’t need anything else, I’m going to head home.”
I can think of several things I need, but none are work-related, so I say, “No, that’s fine. Have a good weekend.”
“You too, Mr. Drake.”
Long after she leaves, my gaze stays on my office doorway. Despite my frustration with Ashley, I half-hope she’ll come bursting through the door and tell me she was wrong, that she can trust me, that I’m worthy of her.
It’s then that I realize I’ve made a mistake.
I should never have told her I want to date other women. In my heart of hearts, I only want her.
The trouble is, she’ll never believe me now.
Twenty-Three
ASHLEY
I mope all day Saturday, which I can tell is getting on Emily’s nerves.
“Really, Ash. You need to find something productive to do.”
Even though I know she’s right, I can’t work up the energy to do anything beyond lay on the couch and watch home decorating shows. Luckily for me, occasionally Emily brings me something to eat or drink, otherwise I’d probably starve. Except I have no appetite, so I mostly just stare at the food she leaves on the coffee table rather than eat it.
“You should be with Nick,” I say, feeling guilty that she’s hanging out with me when I’m in such a pitiful state.
“And you should be with someone who treats you the way you deserve,” she says in a take-charge tone as she shoves my legs to one side so she can sit beside me.
“I’m serious,” I say. “You don’t want to spend the weekend with me. Just let me sit here and feel sorry for myself alone.”
“Now what kind of friend would I be if I left you here alone at your lowest moment, Ash?”
A weak smile barely lifts my mouth. “You are the best kind of friend. That’s what you are.”
“I know,” she says without a trace of humor. “And don’t you forget it when it comes time for me to marry Nick and I make you wear a hideous bridesmaid dress.”
Despite my low mood, I chuckle. “And when is this wedding taking place?”
“Well, Nick doesn’t know about it yet, so we haven’t actually set a date.”
My laughter is louder this time. “Yeah, it’s probably a good idea for the groom to know he’s—you know, the groom.”
“I’m working on it.”
I sit up straight and look at her. “How do you know he’s The One?”
A serene smile lights her face. “I just do.”
“I used to think that about Drake,” I mutter, then slump back into the cushions.
“You’ll find your Prince Charming, Ash. Believe me.”
I can’t imagine that right now, but I nod in the hopes that she’ll change the subject.
“You need to get out of the apartment,” she declares.
“Why?” I haven’t even showered yet and it’s the middle of the afternoon.
“I can’t stand seeing you in these doldrums, that’s why.” She stands and faces me with her hands on her hips. “Tonight I’m taking you dancing. That will lift your mood.”
“I don’t wanna.” I don’t mean to whine, but all I care about is wallowing in my sorrow.
“I don’t care what you want, Ashey-Ash.” She reaches for my arm but I yank it out of her reach. “Come on now. Get up and get moving, young lady.”
The stern look on her face makes me laugh, but I actually push myself off of the couch. “Yes, ma’am.” The stern expression turns to surprise, which makes me laugh harder. “You should see your face,” I say.
“I didn’t think you’d get up.”
“I can tell.” I sigh. “I need to shower, but I’m not going dancing tonight.”
“We’ll see about that,” she says, the sternness back in her voice.
After I shower and do my hair, I feel somewhat better, and Emily harangues me until I agree to go to the dance club with her. I’m too worn out to argue and decide I’ll just watch the other dancers, even though it won’t be as interesting as the home decorating shows.
At the dance club I settle into a chair with a cool drink in front of me. Emily sits beside me and we watch the dancers sway to the music.
“I invited Nick to join us,” Emily says with a secretive smile.
“Okay.” I hadn’t expected her to sit beside me the whole night, so I don’t mind.
Fifteen minutes later I look up to see Nick standing beside our table. And right behind him is Jonathan. My gaze slides to Emily, who smirks.
I want to throttle her, but force a friendly smile onto my face as I look at Jonathan.
He leans towards me. “Would you like to dance?”
I remember what a good dancer he is, and I know it would help me feel better if I got off my butt and moved. “Sure.”
He takes my hand and helps me up, then leads me to the dance floor. After only a moment I remember why I loved dancing with Jonathan. He’s a great dancer. When a slow song comes on, he draws me against him and I have a chance to talk to him.
“I’m sorry about the way things ended with us,” I say, thinking about how I’d brushed him off through a text.
“I can’t say I’m sorry to hear that you’re single now.”
My heart lurches at the reminder that Drake dumped me forty-eight hours earlier, and I don’t say anything. I wonder what Emily told Nick exactly.
“I’ve missed dancing with you,” he murmurs against my ear.
I plaster a smile onto my face as I look up at him. “Thanks.”
The slow song finishes and I dance with him for another fifteen minutes before I tell him I’m ready for a break. Emily and Nick join us at the table a short time later and I practically drag Emily to the ladies’ room.
“Why is Jonathan here?” I hiss as the door swings closed.
/> Guilt floods her face. “I may have suggested to Nick that he bring him.”
“I thought he was dating someone.”
“It didn’t work out.”
“Well, it’s kind of awkward.”
“I think you guys are adorable together.”
My eyebrows rise. “Well, I think I’m ready to go home.”
“Already? We barely got here.”
“Look, you dragged me here, I danced, and now I want to go home.”
She sighs. “Fine.”
We tell the guys good-night and drive home.
DRAKE
Why do you torture yourself?
I run my hands through my hair, then release a burst of air as I think about the scene I’d witnessed half an hour earlier.
With the idea that visiting the dance club would bring me comfort—Ashley and I had spent several wonderful evenings there—I’d gotten there just in time to see Ashley dancing with Jonathan. They’d looked quite cozy and it had occurred to me that maybe she’d kept in touch with him the whole time she and I had been dating.
Furious at the thought, I’d nearly stormed over to them and yanked them apart, but at the last minute I’d managed to keep my dignity intact and instead had simply walked out and driven home.
I can’t believe she’s already moved on.
A deep sigh slips from my lips as I pour myself a drink and settle onto my couch. Now that I know for a fact that she’s already begun dating other men, I know I need to cut all ties. I’m not willing to compete with anyone, although the thought of giving up so easily doesn’t sit well with me.
I down my drink and pour another one, then lean against the couch cushions and think about work.
Twenty-Four
Drake and Ashley: The Complete Story Page 39