“She won’t let me! She yelled at me and said I could visit him over her dead body. Then she called her lawyer and yelled at him.” She cried until her tears soaked my blouse.
The school bell rang. I knew Cressida would be looking for her.
“Call your dad and have him buy you a ticket to L.A.” Eden pulled her face away from my shoulder and wiped her face on her soggy sleeve.
“I did. I just need a ride to the airport Saturday tomorrow.”
I laughed. Clever girl. “But what if Ramona—I mean, your mom—finds out?”
“She won’t. She and Cressida are going to Aspen and I told her I’m staying at my friend Bridget’s. I don’t even care if she finds out!” But I knew she’d punish Eden for it if she found out. No naughty room, but whatever happened would be my fault.
But I was done being afraid of her.
“I would love to drive you to the airport. Text me later and tell me what time.”
Her face split into an enormous grin. “You are the best sister ever! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” She flung her pale arms around me and squeezed tight. “I love you, Lana,” she said, her voice barely audible.
Sister. She thought we were still sisters. A delicious feeling of warmth spread out in my chest.
The studio door banged open.
“Eden!” Cressida yelled. “I have been waiting outside in my car for twenty minutes.” She spotted me. She whipped her head back to Eden.
“You made me wait so you could sneak in here and talk to her?” She jabbed a finger in my direction. Eden looked like she was about to start crying again.
“Leave her alone,” I said, stepping in front of Eden. “It’s my fault. She tried to leave and I wouldn’t let her.”
Cressida shot me a venomous look. “Stop trying to get my sister on your side, Lana. It won’t work.”
I ignored her and smiled at Eden. “Bye, Eden, have a great break, okay?” I felt a twinge of guilt as I pushed past Cressida and stormed outside.
I skipped down the stairs, breathless with adrenaline. I was working on a secret plan to kidnap Cressida’s little sister and deliver her to the hated Martin Crawford! What price would they extract from me when they found out?
I realized with a shock that I didn’t care. Defying Cressida was thrilling.
When you decide to stop being scared, your enemies lose their power to scare you. It was so simple. Why had I never realized this?
I walked to my car light as air.
Mare Insularum ~ Sea of Islands
I CRUISED to school with the windows open, singing along to the playlist I made for the airplane. It was the last day before Spring Break. My dad had even gone temporarily insane and let me drive the vintage cherry-red Mustang from his shop. Maybe bad luck wasn’t genetic. It had just been a seventeen-year-long unlucky streak! Crappy childhoods were an American rite of passage, right? I could still have a happy life.
Starting in Hawaii with Caleb Weaver.
I was lost in my favorite daydream—me and Caleb running on a white-sand beach in slow mo—and didn’t notice I was doing sixty up the hill. By the time I saw the lights in the rearview mirror, a Napa Valley sheriff’s cruiser was right behind me. I had never been pulled over before.
I pulled over to the shoulder. I watched the sheriff get out of his cruiser and amble over to me. He was wearing tall black boots and mirrored aviators with his tan uniform.
His feet crunched on the ground as he approached. I tightened my grip on my steering wheel, hands at ten and two o’clock.
He got to my window, which was already down. I looked up as innocently as I could. My throat was dry and tears sparked behind my eyes.
“Hello, Officer.”
“Young lady, you were in quite a hurry, weren’t you?” That gruff voice. I knew that voice. My hands got clammy and I started to shake. It’s probably not him. Relax.
“Yes.”
“I clocked you doing 68 back there. You have any idea how much the ticket for that is?”
I shook my head.
“License and registration?” I handed him my license but he didn’t look at it. He eyeballed the inside of the Mustang.
“This your car?”
“It’s my dad’s. He let me drive it.” I smoothed my uniform skirt and tried to pull it down towards my knees. He took off his sunglasses and hung them from his breast pocket. Up close he looked more like a bodybuilder than a sheriff, with a thick neck that looked like it was going to split his tan polyester shirt collar any minute. Beady eyes a little too close together. Fleshy lips.
Then I saw his nametag. JENNER.
My heart thumped hard against my ribs. A greasy wave of nausea rocked through me. He stared at me and his eyes narrowed. He recognizes you. Oh God.
He held my license up to his face and laughed.
“Lana Goodwin! Well now. Remember me?” His eyes flicked down to my chest. I tugged my skirt down as he peered into the car. “All grown up now, I see. Last time we met you were, what, sixteen?”
“Fifteen.” My voice was a whisper. My head spun. Get me out of here. Please, God.
“Oh yeah, I remember. We met at your mom’s place. Sorry, stepmom. Wait, ex-stepmom, right?” He chuckled like he’d said something hilarious.
I willed my body to turn into a spear so I could stab him through his guts.
He flicked the yellow speeding citation through the window and it fluttered to my lap. Then he pulled his sunglasses out of his pocket, flipped them open, and slid them onto his face.
“We have speed limits in this county for a reason, Miss Goodwin. Tell that father of yours if I catch either of you speeding through my valley in your fancy cars, you won’t just get a ticket. Might be looking at an impound. Or worse. Got that?” He flashed me his nasty smile. All lips, no teeth. He sauntered back to his cruiser.
“Have a nice day,” he called back, almost sarcastically. My heart banged against my ribs like it wanted to get out and run. I crumpled the ticket and tossed it on the passenger seat. He peeled out from the shoulder and blew past me into oncoming traffic, narrowly avoiding a van.
He disappeared over the rise.
It wasn’t until I got to school that I stopped hyperventilating. I picked up the ticket and smoothed it out on my knee.
“Unsafe speed. Fine: $328.” It was signed “Officer Wade Jenner.”
My brief lucky streak had come to an end.
***
Ten minutes until spring break and Ms. Fonseca, who had replaced Mr. Quarry this semester, was talking about “the other” in Faulkner. None of the girls in the senior English seminar were listening. We all want to be in an “other” place right now, Ms. Fonseca.
My phone vibrated in my skirt pocket. Then again, three times. I peeked at it when Ms. Fonseca wasn’t looking.
The first was from Caleb.
Leaving LA soon. See you tonight!!
The other three were from Eden.
Hi Lana. It’s me Eden. Can you still drive me tomorrow?
My flight to LA is at 11. Can you pick me up at like 8?? LMK. XOXOX THX
P.S. I love you!!
Would Caleb mind being an accomplice to a kidnapping? If Ramona found out, she would have me arrested. Her good friend Officer Jenner could make that happen.
The bell rang and the class erupted in cheers.
“Have a wonderful break, girls!” Ms. Fonseca called to us. “Remember to bring your reading on your trips!”
Sorry Miss Fonseca, but I was not taking A Light in August to Hawaii. I would be…indisposed.
Piper ran up to me in the hall and grabbed my elbow.
“I thought Shelhammer would never let us out! Let’s go—I have a surprise for you!” She pulled me to the stairs and practically shoved me down them.
“Piper, what are you doing?” She didn’t answer me. We banged through the front doors and out into the fresh air. Dazzling sunshine hurt my eyes. Girls streamed past us, headed to their cars, laughing and chatting
.
Piper was practically jumping up and down with excitement. “Okay, turn around!”
There, parked right in front of the school, in the headmaster’s spot, was Caleb Weaver’s black Porsche. Caleb leaned against it, arms crossed, a delighted look on his face. He was wearing sunglasses, shorts, and a light blue polo shirt. He’d already gone full resort.
“No way.” My cheeks already hurt from smiling. “What!”
Piper shouted, “Surprise!” She gave me a shove towards him.
Caleb waved me over. A few other girls noticed and slowed down to watch me walk down the steps toward him. Probably hoping I would trip down them.
Bernadette drove past me in her Mini. She honked her horn and gave me a thumbs up. Wait—what if Cressida sees him? You want to have to introduce them? The thought sent white-hot panic shooting through me. I had to get him out of here.
“You tricked me,” I said.
“Hey, I had to see you in your natural habitat. And in that uniform.” He eyed my skirt and blouse. He raised one dubious eyebrow. “You might have to pack it for our trip.”
“Yeah, right,” I said, blushing. “How was the drive?”
“Hell. Air conditioner’s broken. Don’t I get a kiss hello?”
He reached for my hands and yanked me towards him. The back of his shirt was damp with sweat, but his lips on mine felt cool and soft.
When we pulled apart, he had a crazy grin on his face. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and my skin felt flushed. It was as if my body was already anticipating a lot more kissing. A lot more…everything.
“THAT was an awesome hello. Should we go? Oh—and can we take your car?”
“You want to leave your car here all week?”
He grinned. “Don’t worry. I won’t have to.” He leaned away from the car and pointed to the window. Evan was sitting in the passenger seat, grinning up at me.
“Hey, Lana,” he said.
“What!” I exclaimed.
Caleb shrugged. “I picked him up in Berkeley. Present for Maya.”
“You guys think you’re so clever,” I said, laughing.
“Don’t think. Know.”
I swatted away any lingering doubts. I was ready to cavort. In my new red bikini. Out of my new bikini, if necessary.
It would probably be necessary.
“I taught him everything he knows, Lana,” Evan retorted. “Excited for your trip?” He waggled his eyebrows up and down at me. How embarrassing. “Did you guys know that Lana means ‘afloat’ in Hawaiian?”
“Good to know,” Caleb said. “I’m sure Lana is an excellent swimmer.”
I rolled my eyes. Evan scooted into the driver’s seat. “Thanks for the ride up, bro. Be good.” He reached into the backseat, pulled out a black duffel bag, and shoved it through the window.
“Don’t forget your Speedos, dude!”
He gunned the engine and peeled away. Caleb hoisted the bag over his shoulder.
“That’s a lot of Speedos,” I said.
He elbowed me playfully. “One for every day of the week.” His hand found mine. It was warm and strong. “Shall we?”
It was so strange walking next to Caleb at Briar. I wanted to be alone with him and kiss him until I couldn’t breathe. When we got to my car, I pawed through my backpack to find the keys.
“Whoa! Is this one of your dad’s?” The Mustang gleamed in the sun.
“Yep. You drive.” I tossed him the keys. I walked around and slid into the passenger seat, giddy with anticipation. I’d have Caleb all to myself for the next six days. Our trip to paradise was just hours away.
I heard someone yelling to us. I craned my neck to peer out the back window. Caleb stood frozen near the trunk of the car. The Mustang was blocked on both sides by giant SUVs, so I couldn’t see who it was.
The voice, closer now, called out again. “Caleb! Caleb Weaver! Is that you?”
And you thought you’d get away with it. Get what you wanted for once.
I watched Cressida lope over to him. I slunk down low in the seat, my skin on fire. I wanted to be anywhere but there. I wanted to disappear. For good. Forever.
My hands formed into tight fists and scalding tears pricked my eyes.
Bits of past conversations spun through my head. His casual mentions of meeting other Briar girls. Bernadette and Piper acting weird when I told them his name. Everyone knew but you.
Then she was right in front of him, lips pouting, eyes batting. She didn’t notice me hunched down in the car.
“Caleb! Wow. It’s been a while. How are you?” Her voice sounded lower, slower. It was a different Cressida than the one I knew and didn’t love.
“Yeah. Long time no see, Cress.”
He called her Cress.
She flipped her hair to one side. “If you want to see me, you know how to reach me.”
I almost threw up in my mouth. My postcard vision of Hawaii melted like a photograph thrown on a bonfire. She reached out and touched his arm. Caleb recoiled.
“I’m picking someone up.” Cressida’s eyes widened for a second and her smile tightened.
“Oh really?” She laughed. “Who’s the lucky girl this time?”
Caleb hesitated. “Just someone, okay? And we have to be going.” Cressida eyes widened.
He didn’t want to tell her it was me.
Was he protecting me? Or her?
I stuck my head out the window.
“Caleb, we should probably get going.”
She swung her head in my direction and her mouth went slack. For once she looked stunned.
“Oh, hey Cressida,” I said coolly. “What’s up?” In my head, every synapse was snapping loose from its moorings.
Her eyes widened and swiveled back to him.
“Wait, is this the boyfriend you’ve been telling everyone about? For weeks?” Slowly, that too-wide smile crept across her face. “Ha! And it’s only Caleb Weaver.”
My triumph was over. Her words hit me like a sledgehammer to the face.
“I haven’t been doing that and you know it.” I felt my cheeks burning. I gritted my teeth and considered backing the car over both of them.
She ignored me and gazed back up at Caleb. “So how’s Max? And your parents?” She knows his family.
“He’s fine. They’re all fine.” He cleared his throat. “Lana and I have to be going now, so take care, okay?” He walked over to the driver’s side and put his hand on the handle. Not so fast, Caleb.
I slid across the front seat into the driver’s seat and rolled the window down. “So, how do you guys know each other?”
Caleb shot me a dark look. “Move over. Give me the keys.”
“Are you serious?” Cressida said, strolling towards us. “Caleb didn’t tell you? We used to date. God, it’s such a small world.”
Ventricles popped in my chest. I waited for Caleb to scream, “Shut up, you liar! Lana, don’t listen to her!”
But he didn’t. His jaw just clenched and his face darkened. I had never seen him mad before. And actually, why would I have? You don’t know anything about Caleb, and he doesn’t know anything about you. And you wanted it that way.
She had won. Again. She would always win.
Her eyes swept over to me. She shook her head. “Two sisters dated the same guy? It’s so incestuous.” She grinned wickedly, eyes gleaming. I turned and found myself looking into Caleb’s dazed eyes.
“She’s your stepsister?”
Oh crap.
I scrambled to explain. “No, no. My former stepsister. Seems like you’re getting a lot of your facts wrong, Cressida! Anyway, we have plans. They involve a trip to Hawaii tomorrow. So, bye!”
I started the engine and stared grimly out the windshield. I wanted to speed off to the nearest windy road with no guardrail.
“Hm, sounds like you two have a lot to talk about. Have fun!” Cressida sauntered off.
Caleb tried the driver’s door but I’d locked it. He stomped around to the passe
nger side and hurled his duffel bag into the back seat. He got in and slammed the door.
Briar girls streamed past us on their way to their late-model cars and late-model homes stocked with gluten-free products and helicopter parents and perfectly planned spring break vacations. I was pretty sure their lives didn’t include shady Russian businessmen and teetering small businesses and creepy cemeteries and cruel stepfamilies and bottomless loneliness and parents who killed themselves.
I hated them all in that moment. I hated myself the most for being so jealous. Of all the other girls in Sonoma, he had to date Cressida Crawford.
I hated my life.
I didn’t look at him.
I just floored it.
***
I sped up the highway to Glen Ellen.
Caleb gripped the dashboard, his knuckles white. We hit some traffic and I slammed on the brakes.
“Hey! Take it easy!” I had a death grip on the steering wheel to stop my hands from shaking. It’s not like he cheated on you. Whatever happened must have been way before he met you. You have no right to be mad at him.
But that was logical thinking. What I was really thinking was how could anyone I liked possibly like her?
Cressida did offer Caleb one thing I didn’t. Hadn’t yet, at least. Don’t think about them together. In bed. Don’t think about that!
A convertible Mercedes passed us with a good-looking young couple inside. The girl had her feet up on the dashboard. Tanned legs, French manicure, gold sandals. The guy rubbed her knee and she giggled as they zoomed away.
“So. Cressida Crawford used to be your stepsister.” He said it warily, as if I was a bomb that might explode if he said it too loud.
“Right.”
“The one you always talk about.”
“I do not always talk about her!” I knew I was being unfair. He didn’t do anything wrong. Other than have really bad taste in girls. Could I stay mad at him?
Yes, I could.
“It’s pretty funny,” I said. “We share an ex. My ex-stepsister is your ex-girlfriend.”
He pounded his fist on the dashboard and I jumped. “She was never my girlfriend, okay? Are you going to let this ruin our trip?” But it was too late. My anger had already formed a laser-guided missile aimed straight at his head.
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