The cool water felt good on her aching feet and blister. She lathered up the soap and hurriedly began washing away the built up dirt and mud that covered her body starting with her arms. She felt as if she had never been this filthy in her life and had to scrub forcefully to feel even somewhat clean. Somewhat clean was probably the best she was going to get given the fact that she was bathing in a filthy river.
"Sorry for pushing you in earlier." He called out conversationally from his place on the log. "I didn't forget about you not being able to swim, you know."
Startled by the sound of his voice, she spun her head his way to make sure he hadn't turned around. She smiled to herself in relief when she found him respectfully sitting with his back to her, just as she told him to do.
"It's okay. I'd rather drown than get shot I guess." She laughed dryly as she worked the soap over her chest and belly.
"Maybe I could teach you how to swim sometime." He offered.
"Yeah, maybe."
Biting back the urge to say she would probably never see him again in the dismal hopes of hearing him disagree, she waded into more shallow water. It was pathetic, she knew, but she was growing used to his company and was slowly dreading their impending goodbye. For that reason alone she knew she should speed this trip up and find the airport. The longer she was around him the harder it would be to let go when it finally came to an end.
And with Kyle everything came to an end eventually.
She lifted her leg above the water and lathered soap from her thighs down to her calves. She briefly massaged the tight muscles in her legs as she worked off the grime of the last few days. The one thing she would never take for granted again was a nice relaxing bubble bath in her Jacuzzi style tub.
"Need help over there?" He asked suggestively as she got started on her other leg.
"No. Why would I need help?"
"You're taking forever."
Ignoring his impatience, she dipped her hair back into the water and begrudgingly used the bar of soap to clean her hair knowing it would be a tangled mess when she was done. She couldn't wait to get her hands on the bottles of real shampoo and deep conditioner she had at home. That was another thing she vowed to never take for granted again.
Finally finished, Jessica walked out of the water dripping wet and wrapped the scratchy blanket tightly around her shoulders while she gathered her clothes from the ground. After she dried herself she slid back into her dirty clothes. The feeling of finally being moderately clean slipped away.
"Okay, you can turn around now."
She folded the damp blanket and set it back into the bucket. Resting on the log, she shoved her feet back into her socks, knowing her feet would be blistered more than ever if she chose to leave them behind. Kyle made his way to where she sat and held his hand out for the soap.
"I can't get on a plane tomorrow in these clothes." She pinched her tattered sleeve after she placed the bar in his hand.
"We'll stop and buy you some clothes in town tomorrow." He promised as he pulled off his shirt, dropped it to the log and reached to unbuckle his belt. She nodded her head, pulled on her shoes and started to walk toward the village to leave him with privacy.
"Where are you going? Aren't you going to keep your hubby company?" He smirked.
"Fine." She giggled at his stupid comment and plopped back down with her back to him.
"You don't have to look away. I'm not shy." He teased. She heard him pull his belt from the loops and drop it on the ground.
"That's quite alright." She laughed, continuing to face away from him despite his invitation.
"Suit yourself."
"Why hasn't anyone from the military come looking for us yet?" She asked soberly changing the subject as he waded deeper in the water. Avoiding answering the question, he submerged his head under water to wet his dirty hair.
"...I mean, I know you said they weren't available before but don't you guys do stuff as a team?" She was asking when he rose above the water.
"I don't really want to talk about that." He replied honestly, not ready to acknowledge the repercussions that awaited him in the near future.
"It's just a little weird that they sent you off on your own and haven't tried to find you." She explained, ignoring his attempt at leaving the topic alone.
"Yeah, well, they didn't exactly ‘send me'." He sighed, knowing he was baiting her to ask more questions.
"What do you mean?" She asked, taking the bait. He knew he was sharing too much information with her but was suddenly unable to keep his mouth shut. That was the thing about her; she made him want to open up and share everything. He didn’t like that feeling one bit.
Buying himself a shred of time, he lathered his hands with soap and washed his hair and face simultaneously. After taking a deep breath he went underwater and rinsed the soap away. He had to answer her considering he had already opened the door to her questions.
"I mean that…I went against orders to come find you." He admitted carefully when he surfaced. He made his way to shallower water and quickly lathered soap over his body in an efficient motion.
"How did you know where to find me?" She asked softly after she recovered from the surprise of his statement. "How did you know you needed to find me?"
"I heard you scream."
She was taken aback that he went out of his way to help her and cringed at the bitter, ungrateful attitude she had been dishing out to him.
"What were you doing out in the woods?" The timing was far too convenient for her to believe it was pure coincidence.
"I can’t tell you. It's classified." He shook his head despite the fact that she couldn't see him.
He was trying to convince himself more than anyone that he absolutely wouldn't tell her the details. She always had a way of coaxing things out of him and he had a sinking feeling she still could. As he rinsed the soap from his body, he struggled to close himself off from confiding in her. He was alarmed that he had gradually started doing so again in the first place.
"I won’t tell." She promised softly.
Her tone made him weak. He headed out of the water, grabbed the blanket from the log next to where she sat and wrapped it securely around his waist. It would feel good to share some of what was weighing him down.
"We were looking for a man that’s wanted. He’s been hiding out for a while." He whispered. "And that's all I can tell you." He slipped his boxers on underneath the blanket before he pulled it off and crammed it into the bucket with the soap. After pulling on his pants, he grabbed his t-shirt and sat next to her.
"Okay, okay." She smiled, raising her hands in mock surrender.
"Maybe you should look into a career change." He suggested. "You'd make a great detective."
"Very funny. You just don't know how to keep a secret."
"Not from you."
Their light banter came to an abrupt stop. He pulled his shirt over his head and let his focus zero in on her. The hint of scrutiny that twinkled in her eyes made him uneasy. He could almost see the wheels turning in her mind as she tried to decipher his comment.
"The point is," He said, steering the conversation back on track. "I went against orders. They aren’t exactly sending out a rescue team for us. For right now, the two of us are on our own."
"What are they going to do to you?" She asked in concern, watching intently as he shoved his feet into his boots.
"I’m not sure." He lied with a careless shrug. It didn’t match the knot in his stomach when he thought of what would happen. But he didn’t want to worry her with that. And he didn’t want to hear the words coming from his own mouth either.
It dawned on him that despite his aversion to attachments he had grown attached to something over the years without even realizing it; the military. Just as he had fallen in love with her all those years ago without realizing it until it hit him like a ton of bricks. He was now faced with losing both.
He hated the part of him that felt relief over the thought of the life
he had been living for the past six years coming to an end. Amazingly, the thought of losing his job was proving to not be nearly as disturbing as the thought of losing Jessica a second time. The old feelings he had for her were flooding back in full force. Those feelings had terrified him enough to send him running for the hills the first time around. Relationships simply weren't his style. But with Jessica around, he started getting the crazy notion that she could be an exception to the self-imposed rule.
Chapter Twenty-One
Jessica distinctly noticed the change in Kyle's demeanor as they walked back to the village. She pretended not to. She also tried to ignore the discreet glances he kept sending her way. Not a word was spoken since they left the river. She felt as if she were suffocating in the thick silence that was hanging between them.
Kyle sat the bucket down outside the doorway to the hut they were invited into earlier. Overcome by the aroma of food, he searched around for the source. When he spotted the villagers sitting in a circle with steaming bowls in their laps he placed a hand on her arm to get her attention.
Starving, they picked up the two heaping bowls that were waiting for them and hid their apprehension about the mystery meal. They each sat in the circle that surrounded a smoldering fire and dug into their food, both finding it to be tastier than they had expected. They gave each other a discreet look of surprised approval over the meal and emptied their bowls eagerly.
"You like it?" One of the teenage villagers asked with a heavy accent.
"Very good, thank you." Jessica replied at the same time as Kyle simply moaned approvingly with a mouth full of food.
"Good." The teenager smiled, pleased.
"How long you been married?" Another teen asked conversationally.
Jessica promptly filled her mouth with a spoonful of food and looked at Kyle expectantly, forcing him to answer. After all, this marriage story was his bright idea.
"Six years." He replied smoothly, not missing a beat.
She started choking on the bite she was in the middle of swallowing. He looked over at her and smiled, no doubt amused at her response. That number he had chosen was anything but random. It was clearly a direct reference to the amount of time they spent apart.
"So young." Another commented, oblivious to her reaction. "How did you meet?"
"In school." Kyle answered, saving her from the teens’ eager stares as they waited for her to gush over their story. "We were really young but...we were best friends for years before we got married so it felt right."
Their eyes locked on his last sentence. She found herself absorbed, listening to the way he chose to tell their ‘story’. The only fabricated part seemed to be the marriage he planted in place of his disappearing act. If she didn’t know better she would have thought he were trying to paint a different picture of their past; of what could have been.
One of the teenage boys sat next to Kyle, breaking their connection as he clearly waited patiently to ask a question of his own. "When did you know you love her?" He finally asked, eyeing a girl about his age who sat in between two of her friends.
"I had been thinking I might for a while. But I knew for sure the first time she kissed me." He smiled mischievously at her.
The girls broke out in a fit of giggles. Jessica, suddenly growing tired of him toying with her, was ready to go to sleep. She stayed sitting in the circle only because they hadn't yet been offered any sleeping arrangements.
"I bet you never broke up though." The girl that was the center of the boy's attention stated. She pegged the boy with an icy glare that didn’t quite meet her eyes.
Jessica snorted at the irony of the question before she was able to stop herself and looked to Kyle, wondering what phony story he could come up with on this. He paused long enough to take one last bite before answering. "Actually we did."
All the listeners leaned forward in anticipation, eager to hear how they made things work. Jessica felt pretty damn curious herself. She noticed that the boy and girl were glancing at each other from across the circle with hopeful expressions. It was blatantly obvious they had been together at some point in the not-so-distant past.
She was over the teen drama from her own past as well as the teen drama that was unfolding in front of her between those two. She may as well tell the girl to get ready for an emotional catastrophe because that’s what her bitter, cynical heart told her was inevitable. Instead, she bit her tongue and listened.
"Well, she told me she loved me for the first time..." He explained. "No one had ever told me that before. Not a soul. It was a scary thing to hear. I wasn’t ready for it.”
Eyes widened in the audience as they leaned in even further. The hint of truth in his words was uncanny. He began looking around at each face in the crowd but was painfully aware of Jessica’s eyes on him.
"So I left town." He continued in a storytelling tone.
A few of the girls gasped at the unexpected twist. The deep look in his eyes told her this was more than just a story to him.
"But after I left I missed her so much."
Hearing him speak those words, she decided she had enough of this story. It seemed more like a confession than anything and it was hitting far too close to home.
"So I went back, told her I was stupid…that I was sorry." He added slowly, looking over at her with what could have been interpreted as a smile from a loving husband. Jessica knew it was a smile of apology. She smiled back weakly simply to keep up their story for the villagers and rose to her feet with her empty bowl.
"And I finally told her that I loved her." He said a tiny bit louder, ensuring she heard him. She froze mid-step. "I was just scared because I loved her."
She met his eyes briefly before quickly recovering and turning to bring her bowl to the group of women who were gathering them to clean. To clear her head and give herself space from Kyle, she offered to help them. They declined and suggested she should get some rest, pointing her to the hut she would be sharing with her ‘husband’.
Six Years Ago
Kyle had spent every last dollar in his savings account to reserve a table at La Belle’s gourmet Italian restaurant and book a beach house for the weekend to make this evening perfect for Jessie. She had been talking about their post-graduation celebration for years and he didn't want her to be disappointed. She wore the tight black dress with three inch heels she had underneath her cap and gown hours earlier as they walked across the stage to get their diplomas.
When they finished dinner and he paid the biggest bill he had seen in his life, he held her hand all the way back to the valet as they waited for the car to pull up. He rolled the sleeves of his black dress shirt to his elbow and loosened his white silk tie after they left the restaurant. When he saw his car, he stepped off the curb and opened the passenger door for Jessica before the valet driver had the chance.
Her giddy excitement when she pulled off her heels, hopped out of the car and ran straight past the stilted beach house, over the sand and into the water made it all well worth the money he had spent. Her laughter filled the warm night air, reverberating off the vacant beach house. He knew the innocent joy he saw in her when he kicked his own shoes off into the sand and followed her knee deep into the waves would be forever seared into his mind.
When he walked up to his front door after their long weekend of lovemaking ended and heard the familiar yelling before he even turned the key in the lock, he knew he back to reality. He briefly indulged himself in revisiting his time standing in the ocean with Jessie, kissing her soft lips without a care in the world, and swung the door open.
"Shut the fuck up." His mom's newest love interest yelled as he kicked the coffee table with enough force to launch it within inches of where she stood.
Although it was barely past two in the afternoon, the guy had been drinking heavily. That seemed to be his usual routine as far as Kyle had noticed over the past three weeks the guy had been living there. His mom had a knack for choosing losers ever since his dad left. Th
e newest one was always worse than the last. This was the most extreme argument he had witnessed his mom have thus far.
"I-I'm sorry." His mom stuttered, clearly having been crying for a while. "Please don't leave."
Kyle tossed his keys down loudly onto the hallway table, making his presence known. His mother barely glanced his way before she continued begging the man to stay, the broken wooden table he had kicked laid fractured on the carpet.
"Mom, what the hell?" Kyle snapped angrily.
"Kyle, sweetie-"
"Are you really going to let him talk to you like that?" He interrupted, looking between the two of them in outrage.
"You need to mind your own damn business, boy." The man boomed, taking a wobbly step toward Kyle.
"I wasn't fucking talking to you." Kyle shouted back, standing his ground.
Next thing he knew, fists were flying. After that his mom was tearfully screaming at him to leave; that he was being disrespectful. To hell with the fact that he had been trying to defend her. Stunned, Kyle stormed out of the house and forcefully slammed the door behind him.
How could she choose a boyfriend over him, her own son?
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