Afraid to Fall

by Nicole Douglas

  ***

  Kyle looked down the barrel of the gun that was pointed in his face. His own gun had long since run out of bullets and the burning in his thigh was almost overpowering. He had been desperately trying to stop the bleeding with his bare hands, having nothing else around, when the man approached him. The sun glinted against the black metal, blinding him as he prepared to be shot.

  It beat the hell out of getting burnt to a crisp, he contemplated dryly.

  He thought of Jessica running like hell and getting to safety with his letter in her hands. He was thankful that he was able to give her the piece of paper he had been carrying for years; glad he finally told her he loved her. Those words were long overdue. He humorously recalled how terrible she was with directions and hoped she was able to find a town and someone who could help her. He had faith that she would. An extraordinary sense of calm encompassed him and he closed his eyes, anticipating the darkness of death.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  The stranger spun her around, gloved hand still securely over her mouth. She considered trying to bite down on his fingers and run straight for Kyle. At least then they would both die together. It wasn’t much in terms of comfort, but it damn sure beat both of them dying alone. She stumbled sideways and was met with a pair of dark brown eyes surrounded by camouflage painted skin. She tried to pull back with all her might but barely budged.

  She quickly looked the man up and down and relief washed over her at the realization that he was in the same military attire Kyle had abandoned back at the hotel. Upon closer inspection of his facial structure she slowly recognized him. Mike, Kyle's friend from the bar at the town market. She was able to relax a fraction and sagged in his grip.

  Help had finally arrived.

  Mike removed his hand from her mouth and placed a finger over his lips to signal she needed to remain silent. She nodded in acknowledgement and he looked back to Kyle’s direction. His tight expression and tensed shoulders told her he was waiting for something. He swung his rifle from his shoulder without making a sound and began setting it up in the dirt, laying behind it on his belly and looking down the barrel fixedly.

  Jessica slid to her knees next to him, overwhelmed with nervousness. She fought off her gut impulse to go running in between Kyle and the gun pointed at him. She knew he would probably curse her nine ways to Sunday if she tried, on top of getting himself shot trying to protect her. So instead she sat and waited, putting her trust in Mike that he would handle the situation with precision.

  ***

  Suddenly, just as Kyle was bracing for death, the figure standing over him jolted and slowly fell to his knees. His widened eyes held Kyle's unwaveringly. His mouth fell open as a trickle of blood slid from the corner. Once on his knees, he clutched his chest at the blood that was saturating his white shirt and began to slump forward.

  Kyle tried to pull himself back across the dirt using his arms and uninjured leg so he didn’t end up underneath the man’s lifeless body that was collapsing on top of him. Just as he was able to scramble out from under the man who had been prepared to execute him with a smile on his face, Kyle saw movement in his peripheral. He snapped his attention to the four men running his way in a perfectly spaced out line and recognized each of them immediately.

  The cavalry had arrived.

  He closed his eyes and rested his head back in the dirt as he took in a breath of immense relief. With eyes still shut, he gritted his teeth to suppress a moan from the excruciating sting in his leg. It seemed to be radiating from his thigh, all the way down to his knee and up to his hip. Reaching his hand back to his leg wearily, he felt the thick sticky substance he knew to be blood and the tear in his pants from where the bullet tore through.

  Jessica jumped to her feet and ran through the brush and across the grass to Kyle's side, shaking off Mike who had tried to hold her back. She knew he didn't get a firm hold on her or she wouldn't have been able to break away. She used the element of surprise, taking off at the spur of the moment. He nearly tripped over his rifle to catch her.

  She darted past three other soldiers who were heading into the tunnel, weapons drawn, and reached Kyle. She skidded to a stop and fell to her knees beside him. His eyes were closed, his breathing sharp and his face strained in agony. She frantically grabbed his arm and gave it a shake to get his attention.

  "Kyle!"

  He slowly opened his eyes, fighting to focus his vision. Dizzy from blood loss, he tried to fight off the powerful need to drift to sleep. He saw a blur of black and green streaming into the tunnel and knew it was his team; his friends. They still had to enter the facility and apprehend everyone inside, most importantly Alex Rodriguez.

  He knew their arrival was because they had finally tracked Rodriguez down to his hideout and for that he was proud of them. It was truly a coincidence that they even found him and Jessica at exactly the right moment. Fate had truly intervened in their favor.

  Complete exhaustion was taking over his body. It took all the energy he had to simply stay conscious. Hearing the fear in Jessica’s voice, fear for him, made him force the best smile of reassurance he could muster under the circumstances. That smile tapped him of what little strength he had left within.

  "Please don't close your eyes." She sniffled.

  He hadn't realized that he even closed them. He tried to force them open again but they were too heavy. It was then that Mike came out of the jungle and approached them. Kyle could hear his boots lightly thudding on his way and sensed when he stopped. He could hear Jessica’s soft sobs fading out and fought to stay awake.

  "Winters, wake your lazy ass up." Mike ordered jokingly, masking his own worry with their usual friendly banter.

  After fighting to give another, even weaker, smile as a response to reassure everyone that he was okay, Mike reached down and pulled Kyle swiftly to his feet.

  "A helo is waiting about half a mile away." Mike informed his friend.

  Kyle drastically favored his uninjured leg and leaned heavily against Mike who waited patiently for him to steady himself. He swayed heavily to the side as his legs began to give out from under him. Mike gave him a speedy once-over and decided to hoist him over his shoulder. The three of them headed in the direction Mike indicated the helicopter was waiting at a jog.

  Chapter Forty

  Jessica's stomach flopped as the helicopter lifted from the ground. She gazed out at the treetops and winding rivers that lay below. There was no civilization in sight. She couldn't believe the two of them had actually been on the run in such an enormous place days before. She took in a shaky breath, realizing just how much danger they had narrowly escaped, and turned her attention back to Kyle.

  She pulled the thick, oversized jacket Mike had given her tightly around her shoulders and felt grateful to finally be covered with clothes. Before their journey to the helicopter she had forgotten that she was half naked but was soon reminded when Kyle looked her up and down, struggling to focus his eyes, and ordered Mike to cover her up. Mike and Jessica both laughed at his insanely misplaced concern.

  "You should focus on your leg, man." Mike had told him, but slid out of his jacket and handed it to Jessica nonetheless. She had quickly put it on, her self-consciousness renewed at the reminder that she was standing around in skimpy lingerie.

  Kyle sat against the back wall with his legs stretched straight in front of him. Mike had dug around in a bag after carrying Kyle onto the aircraft and settled him into a sitting position. He began to sloppily wrap his leg with a roll of gauze he found. After telling Mike to take a break, she took the gauze from him and tightly wrapped the leg to stop the bleeding. He was damn lucky the bullet hadn't lacerated any major arteries or he would have bled out before they even made it to the helicopter.

  "Rodriguez was captured." The pilot shouted back to Mike after receiving the update through his headset.

  Mike nodded in response when the pilot glanced back at him to ensure he had heard the news, allowing the pilot to return
his attention back to his job. His shoulders visibly relaxed. The blades and engine roared making any further conversation an impossible task. Jessica snuggled next to Kyle and was lulled to a deep sleep by the vibrations from the engine and Kyle’s labored breathing.

  Chapter Forty-One

  Jessica sat in the small metal chair she had pulled up next to Kyle's bed. The helicopter had taken them back to the military base. It was only a twenty minute flight from where they had been hostages. It was hard to believe they were that close by, yet so secluded from the world. As soon as they landed several doctors rushed to them, dragged Kyle onto a stretcher despite his insistence that he could try to walk, and took him to the medical facility on base.

  She had waited hours to get word that he was going to be okay. Mike had sat silently with her in the waiting area until someone came along and told him he was needed elsewhere. With a reassuring pat on the back, he disappeared through the doors and she was left alone. As a nurse, she wasn’t used to waiting on the sidelines to get news about a loved one’s condition. She was typically the one giving the news. The role reversal felt unnatural.

  When she finally was told she could see him, she was led down a narrow hall adorned with white sheets sectioning off beds. Each wall was lined with several empty beds, with the exception of the one Kyle laid in and another with a man that had a bandage wrapped around his hand who seemed more than ready to get out of the hospital and back to his job. He sat upright on the edge of the bed, impatiently waiting for a nurse to return with the okay that he could leave.

  Sitting in her chair, she held Kyle’s hand firmly in hers, stroking her thumb over his in a comforting motion. He had been sleeping when she first walked in but slowly awakened in response to her touch. For several long minutes she continued to hold his hand silently, enjoying the feel of it; grateful beyond words that he was still alive for it to be possible.

  "They arranged a flight for me to go home. They think I need an escort to the plane this time." She finally told him softly.

  She had gone from demanding, to begging, for the ability to stay on the base with Kyle for a few more days. She wanted to make sure he recovered. And she simply wasn’t ready to say goodbye just yet. They had been through so much in the past several days. She wanted desperately to rest and allow her nerves to settle while she was by his side.

  No matter what excuses she threw their way, they had adamantly denied her requests. The man who was in charge of escorting her to the airport waited outside the medical building for her. He had told her she had five minutes but she was rebelliously taking her sweet time.

  "I know." His voice was rough and gravely. "I'm glad. You need to get out of here."

  She nodded in sad agreement and looked down at their cupped hands. "They're waiting outside for me."

  "Don't cry." He whispered, noticing her eyes filling to the brim. He reached up weakly with his other hand and stroked her hair soothingly.

  "I'm not crying." She lied with false cheer.

  "You better go. They don't really like to be kept waiting." He feigned a smile when she looked up, pretending not to notice the tears that threatened to spill. He knew she didn't want them to be acknowledged.

  "Yeah." She agreed, making no move to get up.

  "Goodbye, Jessie."

  "Bye."

  She pushed back her chair, scraping the floor loudly, and forced herself to stand. Lifting her heavy feet to walk out the door, she fought hard against the desire to look back; to get one last look to hold in her heart when she got home. But most importantly, to see if he was watching her go.

  She let the tears fall when she was out of his view, past the white sheet that curtained his bed. Swiping them away and sniffling, she pulled herself together before she opened the door that led outside. She still had to get through the trip to the airport. The last thing she wanted was to burst into tears in front of all Kyle's friends and co-workers who would turn around and tell him the second she was out of earshot.

  Once she was confident that she had her emotions under control, she stepped out into the sun made her way to the ruddy military jeep next to the man that was escorting her. He hopped into the driver’s seat and to her surprise Mike was already settled in the passenger's seat. Jessica climbed into the back and they started driving without saying a word, likely sensing her unwillingness to talk. She looked out at the scenery passing by as they drove out of the safe boundaries of the military base.

  She stared out vacantly until they reached the airport. The driver seemed to be speeding, but strangely Jessica felt in no hurry to get there. The jeep pulled around to the front of the airport. Mike hopped out of his seat and waited for Jessica to follow. She climbed out, feeling uncomfortable in her borrowed jeans, and stretched out her legs. She was grateful one of the female soldiers was kind enough to give her an outfit she had tucked away in her bags.

  "Your ticket is waiting for you at the check-in desk." Mike spoke up after they walked through the automatic glass doors.

  Jessica looked around in search of the check-in desk he was referring to. He pointed it out to her and stood back, waiting for her to get in line. The stress of the past week was closing in on her, impairing her thoughts and memories. When she reached the front and picked up her ticket they continued walking to the gate.

  "Well, here we are." She chimed, letting him know he could leave. She still had to go through the security checkpoint and was fairly certain he wouldn’t make it through. Besides, she had looked at her ticket and noticed that the flight wasn’t scheduled to leave for another hour.

  Instead of leaving, however, he followed her toward the metal detector and lax airport security, flashing them a card. They looked down at it and back at him before gesturing for him to go through the checkpoint. He waited for them to wave the metal detector wand over her. When she didn’t set off any alarms, they were both free to go through.

  He plopped down in a stiff plastic chair in front of the gate labeled A2, kicking up his feet on a chair across from him and got several annoyed scowls from airport personnel. She couldn't help but choke out a genuine laugh at his lack of concern. She assumed he didn't catch her hint that he could leave. Or perhaps it was his job to make sure she literally got on the plane and stayed there until it took off without wandering off like she had the last time.

  Taking the seat next to him, Jessica gazed out the window as a plane touched down and slowly glided along the runway. She wondered if it was hers.

  "He'll be fine." Mike commented offhandedly, guessing that her mind was drifting to Kyle.

  "I know." She meant that. He would be fine; both his leg and his heart.

  They silently watched planes land while others took off. They watched people running through the airport, afraid to miss their flight and a mother walking slowly, holding her son's hand because he wanted to walk on his own and not be carried. Before he was able to say more, an announcement rang out that her flight was ready for passengers to board. She rose from her seat, stretching her stiff legs, and turned to Mike.

  "Thanks for waiting with me."

  "No problem. Have a good flight."

  With that, he stood from his own seat but didn’t make a move to walk away, clearly waiting for her to get all the way on the plane. She gave him a thankful smile and got in the line that had formed for passengers to board. It didn't take long for the short line of people to disappear around the corner. She was next in line and handed her ticket to the flight attendant who then told her she could proceed.

  She took a step forward so the next person in line could get by and stole a glance behind her. Mike was still standing in the same place, idly waiting. Feeling a little empty at the thought that Kyle was staying behind in Colombia, not there to see her off, she kept walking down the ramp. She picked a window seat at the front of the plane, eager to rest her aching feet. With no luggage to shove in the overhead compartment, she settled in and buckled her seatbelt.

  The plane filled with passengers w
ho chattered cheerfully, most of them Americans excited to get home and Canadians catching a connecting flight at LAX. She stared out the small oval window as another plane was readying for takeoff. Soon after, the engine rumbled to life and her plane began to slowly back up, heading to the runway.

  Her stomach knotted the way it always did during takeoff. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, not wanting to look out the window until the plane was stable and above the clouds. As the plane picked up speed and lifted off the ground her heart dropped to her stomach. It was the same feeling she used to get at the boardwalk when a rollercoaster she was riding would plummet down.

  Soon the beeping above her head finally stopped, indicating she could remove her seatbelt. A flight attendant made an announcement that electronics could be turned back on and it was safe to unfasten seatbelts. When Jessica reached down to unclip hers and try to get some sleep on the long flight she felt crumpling in her pocket.

  The letter.

  She had forgotten all about shoving the letter from Kyle into the pocket of her borrowed jeans the moment she put them on, not wanting to lose it. She briefly wondered if she should wait until she got home to read it, afraid of what it might say and what reaction she may have to seeing it. Curiosity soon got the best of her and she pulled the neatly folded envelope from her pocket, carefully tore the seal and pulled the faded notebook paper out. The familiar handwriting wrapped her in a warm comfort and she began to read.