by Oliver Rill
“Women don’t make half as much fuss as you! They take their pill and bam bam thank you mam! Good morning Aristo, help me!”
Aristo waltzed happily in, innocently looking for his breakfast. I was always amazed how he could grin so easily so early in the morning.
“What’s going on?”
“Oli won’t let go of the rubbers. That’s quite normal after a couple of times for us heterosexuals, isn’t it?” Matt burst into Aristo’s innocence.
“Yes, unfortunately … It is a bit dangerous, but it’s true.”
“Oli wants us to have a test and then never sleep with anyone else again. That’s ok, but if something does happen, we have to speak up about it straight away. I think I will be faithful, but you never know, if I do sleep with a woman at some point but don’t want to hurt Oli’s feelings, I’m going to keep stumm about it, aren’t I?”
“Sorry Matt, but I really think Oli’s right.”
“Well that would be like being married.”
I had had enough and stepped in. “Matt, we can carry on just as we have been up to now. It’s no big deal. I just don’t want to spend the rest of my life swallowing pills and running to the doctor to check my bloods. If your freedom is as important as you say and you at least want the possibility of checking that you really aren’t gay, then …. I don’t have a problem with that.”
“Oli, I’m still young.” Matt defended himself. “I mean, I’m mad about you and I would never go with another guy, but …”
“Matt, that’s the price we have to pay for going without rubbers. You pay it or leave it. It’s not up for negotiation or discussion. And since we are discussing it now, I know that you are already thinking of ways around it, so as far as I am concerned, this discussion is over.”
Silence ensued and I felt almost a pang of guilt for the authoritarian way I had stamped out the light and humorous start of the day, but it couldn’t be helped.
We drove into work in the same strained atmosphere and I shut my office door to make a call.
“Debbie!”
“OMG! Oliver! What do you need? You wouldn’t believe the workload I have to get through before the holidays. What’s going on?” She repeated.
“I need an apartment for an employee who is also a very dear friend, in Hollywood, if possible.”
“I am not a real estate saleswoman!”
“I know, I know.” I tried to calm her. “But you may have heard of something going, from someone?”
“I only know of places that are to purchase. They are on the market for sale. You’d best speak to my father about that. It’s not my business, ok.”
“With your father?”
“Yeah, you know, the man who deals with the real estate, builds them and sells them. Ad Bass!”
“He’s your father?”
“Who else? Did you think that any interior architect could furnish your whole house within a couple of days and at almost the same speed fit out an entire office block? If my father didn’t hold you in such high esteem, we would only just about be finishing your house now, let alone the offices in Venice.”
“Debbie, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.”
“It’s okay. Do you need anything else? New shoes perhaps?”
I let out a belly laugh.
“Debbie, I will think about whether I want to go down the purchase route or not. Thank you.”
I looked at my bank account and found that I had hardly spent anything, the company had paid for practically everything. I had bought a few bits and pieces for myself, Matt and Aristo, but almost everything else had gone through the company books. I still had over $270,000 from the original $300,000 and at the end of the year I would be getting the same again, plus a commission payment in accordance with my contract and the profits had not been reduced by the investments I had made, even though there was a current cash flow problem, profits were up! We would be closing the financial year with around four million and that meant another $400,000 for me. In January I would have around $970,000 in my personal account. I had turned into a millionaire inside of three months. It was both richly gratifying and numbingly terrifying.
“You certainly went to town yesterday, as far as the press is concerned.” Ad’s voice greeted me as I lifted the telephone receiver.
“I was just about to call you, Ad. I hope I wasn’t jumping the gun, but I thought I would grab the opportunities as they came up before someone else did.”
“Do you reckon you’ll have time to set it all up before you go live?”
“I know we are going to manage it.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear. I’ll release the securities and send you the season’s greetings.”
“Errm, Ad?”
“Yes?”
“I looked at my bank account, this morning and started to well up. I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am for everything.”
“You have the fire of ambition in your belly, Oliver, I can see that. You have done most of it yourself.”
“Thanks, Ad. By the way, I know you have some apartments in Westwood and I was wondering if you have anything available for one of my staff to rent.”
“Renting is for those who can’t manage their money. Pay him a decent wage. He’ll stay loyal and he’ll be able to finance his own place. Was that all? Then I’ll wish you a Merry Christmas!”
It was easy for Ad to talk. I rescued Aristo from the horde of prospective, willing stewardesses and sent him off to JB Homes to look at the apartments that were becoming available and more importantly, to check on his green card. I had a word with his co-worker and asked her to put him on the books properly. I also gave him a raise of $50,000 a year, doing the same for Matt, who had really earned it.
Then I swung by Melvin’s office to tell him about the rise in staff payments. I also told him I wouldn’t be needing my commission. To my great surprise he said that wasn’t possible.
“I can sign a waiver, can’t I?”
“You can sign what you want, but Can Am will pay the money out. We run a clean house here, Mr Hoffmann!” He said sternly. “The payment stands in your contract and I won’t tolerate any irregularities. The way the press is all over us, you can thank your lucky stars we don’t have an audit in our sights.”
“Why? Have we got something to hide?”
“Just the payment from the Caymans or the Bahamas or wherever it came from. They might ask a few questions, but in the worst case scenario, it’s actually on Mr Bass’ watch rather than ours.”
“Er, I bought it with me from Germany?” I improvised. Melvin leaned back in his chair and gave me an old fashioned look.
“Firstly, no one on earth would believe that. And secondly, can you provide a paper trail for it? And thirdly, they know where it came from anyway.”
“Ok. I admit, it doesn’t look good.”
“I’ve almost got the feeling that they are deliberately looking the other way, and that’s why we are going to keep our noses clean and provide receipts for everything, right down to the pencil sharpener on your desk! If we don’t bother them, then maybe they won’t bother us.”
“I just wanted to do my bit for the firm, not drain more cash away.”
“That’s very noble of you, but you are the reason that cash is coming in at all. Something else: You should think about moving to Florida. You don’t get taxed on income as a private household there. So now, Mr Hoffmann, if there is nothing else, can you let me get on? I have a lot to do. You will get your commission whether you want it or not.”
To be honest, I wasn’t sure how to take Melvin. He did seem a little abrupt and lacking respect, but he was obviously working in the interests of the company which were, by extrapolation, my interests.
That evening, Aristo looked downcast as he trudged out to the pool.
“Hey wassup, ‘Risto?”
“I got the green card, but the apartment that I liked is nearly $500,000 and I’d rather rent than buy.” He reported dispiritedly. I quoted A
d’s saying about those who rented not being able to deal with money.
“I know, I know. But it is so harsh.”
“Do you want to do a deal?”
At this, Aristo’s head shot up with a grin. “Hey Matt, listen and learn!” He called across the pool to Matt. “What deal is that, Oli?”
“You buy the apartment and if, at any point in the future, you don’t want it any more, for whatever reason, I’ll take your mortgage on and the property.”
“See, Matt? Do you see what he did? Everyone’s a winner. I have an apartment, Ad sells an apartment and Oli has made an investment, if anything goes wrong.”
“And I am happy, if you are happy. That is the most important point!” I added.
Matt cleared his throat. “And what are you going to do to make me happy?”
Now that was difficult. Matt rarely expressed his wishes. He wanted me to get fit and I was getting fitter by the day with my gym visits and our daily jogs. Matt went to the gym at lunch time too. No wonder that he had such a fantastic physique. He liked his job, the Lincoln had grown on him. Apart from that, he just seemed happy to be around us. At least that was what I thought.
“I have no idea, Matt. You never say what you want.”
“I told you yesterday what I wanted.”
“Oh. That. Do you really want to do that?”
“Yes, for two reasons.”
“And they are?”
“If you agree to that, then I know I have your word not to get up to anything in Berlin, when I am not there. And secondly …”
“That’s ok. As long as you are quite sure. Guys, on another matter: Before ‘Risto and I fly off to Berlin, how about a little trip to Florida? A short flight with one of Can Am’s 757s? Whaddaya think?”
“What? Are we going to Disneyland?” Matt cried excitedly.
“You two can go there if you want, I’m going house hunting.”
“Why would you want to move? This place is perfect.”
“The tax laws are a lot laxer in Florida, so much so, that it’s worth having my main residence there.”
“And they’d believe that you are going to commute from there to L.A. every morning? I don’t believe that!”
“Melvin told me to do it. I’ll ask him about how it works again in the morning.”
“But not until we’ve had our appointment – you know which one I mean.”
“Hey! Sleepy head!” Matt shook me awake at eight. “Rise and shine! We have an appointment to get to.”
And we really did drive downtown to the medical center there rather than use the more public and less anonymous one in Hollywood, where we might be recognized by a neighbor or even the paparazzi. We dressed to mold into the general populace there. Jeans, T-shirt, trainers. As run of the mill as possible.
I concentrated on staying calm as Matt drove me and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was easy to be passenger while he drove.
“Do you remember in Vegas? You hadn’t trusted me Oli.”
“Ha ha, yeah I remember. I was really torn.”
“And now you have more trust in me. I really appreciate that.”
“I just hope you don’t abuse it.”
“If that’s what you think, Oli, then we can forget it!”
“No, no. I do trust you. I just want to make one thing sure. If you do stray, Matt. It doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman. You have to tell me straight off. Don’t wait! Firstly, we can take new precautions and secondly, I’ll know that you are being honest. I may not be happy about it, my ego might be a bit dented, and maybe I’ll get upset for a bit. Who knows, but at least I’ll know. If I found out any other way, I would be more upset. I would be devastated if I found out that you lied. Do you understand? This is a deal breaker. You have to tell me immediately. Got it?” He nodded. “Promise?”
“You are so sweet when you’re worried about something. I get it. I promise you I will tell you. I Matt Fowler, promise you, Oliver Hoffmann never to play around and if I do, then I will come clean immediately. And you only have to promise me that you won’t ever sleep with anyone else. If you promise that, then I don’t need your promise on the second part.” Matt took my hand as he was speaking, pressing it to emphasize his words.
“It’s a deal!”
At the clinic, as expected, the immediate results were negative. The waiting for the later results was as usual an anxious time. What would life be like if there was a problem? How would you break it to family and friends? How would you deal with the fall out of negative prejudices of work colleagues? Should you tell them or not? What would happen if you cut yourself?
“Shhh Oliver, it’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” Matt soothed my fears. “You don’t have to think about it now. Shall we celebrate our decision? Aristo is in the office and I know the boss. He won’t say anything if we tell him it took a bit longer at the doctor’s. Huh? Just you and me. Now at the pool. Come on! I’m ready!”
“I have so much to do. Let’s leave early instead.”
“If I’m going to have to wait for a whole day then I might just have to take care of myself!”
“You just wait for me, my friend! Come on, let’s see what they’ve been up to at the office.”
I went straight into see Melvin.
“Melvin, I just wanted to check. I don’t have to pay any income tax in Florida, right?”
“Yes. Just so. You only have to pay a community tax that is worked out based on your property. Like a ground rent. And that’s so small, it’s not worth worrying about.”
“And I don’t have to prove that I actually live there, either? I don’t have to provide receipts for a daily commute, as I work here?”
“The question could come up if there was an audit, but who’s to say that you don’t work from home and were only in one day a week? That would be too hard to prove and the airline does pay its tax here. Believe me, if there was any danger of problems with the IRS, I would be the first to tell you.”
So that was sorted. I asked Matt to ring JB Homes and get a recommendation for a real estate agent in Fort Myers and organize some viewings at the weekend. Then went to Sharon for the tickets.
“Yeah, sure, tomorrow, why not? And business class, I guess too?” Sharon looked at me, the sarcasm thickening her voice.
“I thought as president of the airline, I had a right to a business class trip? Is that not so?”
“I’m sure you have. However, can you tell me where I can sit the three of you? The plane is more or less booked up. Business class is crammed full for the foreseeable.”
“Ok, well, how about three economy class tickets?”
“Sitting together?” She asked with eyes rolling.
“Is that a problem?” I asked with growing anxiety.
“Noooo. No problem I will tear families with children and lovers apart, so that you can sit with your colleagues. Really, no problem at all. I don’t have anything else to do after all!”
I had to laugh at the exaggeration. The image of the cold, hard, diminutive Sharon, forcing infants from a wailing mother at gun point was really too improbable to be true. She began tapping the keyboard with quick competent strokes, finding out who she could move to which seats.
“And of course if you stand next to me, looking over my shoulder and tapping your fingers on the desk, it is naturally going to take much less time!”
“Would you rather I left and you just send me the tickets?” I relented.
“I would rather you booked the tickets at Delta!”
“You’re obviously on it, Sharon.” I laughed. “I’ll leave you to it.”
“It’s ok. By the emergency exit. That was the best I could do. Is that ok?”
“Sharon, that’s brilliant! Thanks a billion!”
At three I agreed with Matt that we should call it a day to go home and celebrate our new rubber-free relationship.
“Are you ready for this?” He asked as we faced each other once the front door of my new home, hidden i
n the hills of Hollywood had closed and the silence lay over us like a blanket.
“Yes!”
“Really, really ready?”
“Yes, Matt!”
“How much do you really want to do this? Tell me!”
“God Matt! Yes! Really, really!”
“Just keep this moment in your mind.” He said and kissed me. And that moment did stick in my mind. The moment when we were embarking on something still new, still unexplored and yet still tinged with danger. Matt pressed against me kissing passionately, his tongue probing and pushing, then he turned and pushed into me. His hips slowly gained a rhythm that had to be followed rising to a crescendo. “Oh Oli, now!” He cried.
After he laid on top of me, exhausted.
“I’m going to rest here for a while. You are mine now, we are one. Don’t you feel it?”
I said nothing, but smiled my contentment.
That evening, Aristo came home alone after finding out that we had already left for the day. He followed Matt’s looks that were hot and loving.
“Ah, Ok. I guess I know what’s going on here. Erm, my sunbed’s ok though, isn’t it? You haven’t erm, you know on it, have you? Or have you?”
We both laughed and assured Aristo that his sunbed was fine.
“So are you now officially a couple?”
We both protested at once. “It’s not out yet! Don’t say anything!” And Aristo rolled his eyes comically.
The next morning we flew to the airport and took the flight to Fort Myers. We took care to watch how the service went and congratulated each other on how well it went. The passengers felt cared for, the change in catering was for the better and the crew were friendly and professional.
Aristo was particularly proud of his choice of crew and I gave him all the credit, telling him to carry on that way.
JB Homes sent a limo over with the real estate agent. He explained that we were going to stay in one of the show homes, had been in the business for 15 years and knew his job. His voice droned on and on and on. After a while of listening to his dry, even tones, I noticed that I was beginning to zone out.