by Oliver Rill
“I think we could manage that.”
Aaron really took my training seriously. His style was a little different from Matt’s, but nevertheless good. He reminded me a little of the way Jason in Florida approached it. He looked more at the way you moved and less about the actual weight you lifted. We went to the gym nearly every night, then often returned to mine to sit at the poolside and chat, but not as deeply or long as we had recently. He avoided alcohol for the most part to be able to drive. I found that I drank less of late as well I used my free time to fumble about in Matt’s work, trying to recognize his systems, but had little success. I did manage to put together a list of airports that I wanted to include in our network, a list of those that were potential destinations and a further list of routes that could do with extra work. I wanted to talk to Matt about these when he returned from vacation. I had also decided that I’d give him another title. He didn’t need to be my assistant anymore, he was performing in a manner that deserved a proper title and job description. One that reflected his education and considerable abilities.
About a week before his return, I went into the personnel department. Aristo and Daniel’s boss was there alone. As I came through the door, his laptop slammed shut with a loud ‘clack’. A sudden insight made my heart race and my palms sweat. The atmosphere felt heavy with suspicion and guilt. My mind raced. Was he up to something underhand? Maybe sending the better applicants to the competition for a backhander? I raced around the table and opened the laptop. A scantily clad female figure caught in an indecent dance and sporting a lascivious smile met my eyes!
“Oh!” I exclaimed with surprise and grinned. Color infused his face and his eyes sank to the floor.
“If you want to watch the rest of this, you can do it at home.” I said sternly.
“Are you firing me?” He demanded rising from his seat in a threatening manner.
“Are you really asking if I’m sacking the Head of Personnel for Can American Airlines, who is supposed to be setting an example to everyone else, who earns a shitload of money and who has a long backload of work. Are you asking if I’m sacking that man?”
“I’m not going to stand for that. I’m on a break right now. I’ll sue you!”
“If I were you, I’d rather use the time to apply for a new job, but feel free to try! And now, get your sweaty backside off my chair! I don’t want to see you in this building again. Damn you! I was just about to discuss some confidential stuff with you. Go on, get out!”
I walked him smartly to the exit. Then stood back and laughed. Really? A dirty film? Who knew what dirt would be sticking to the surfaces in that office. I got the cleaners to give the office a thorough clean and got Aristo’s name put on the door. I never heard from the previous guy again.
Aristoteles Tsantidis – Director Human Resources
The promotion increased his income to 120 thousand a year. He didn’t need a company car, he had my Jaguar.
My next problem was Daniel. It had been Daniel, who first got me interested in aviation. He had a good job, but at middle manager level. He really needed to be on the director level. The Head of Personnel position was now filled. Aristo had learned a lot and was ready for that role.
Rebecca was fantastic in her role in Marketing, Matt would move from my assistant to Director of Operations. Melvin had his Financial Director’s title. Mark headed up Sales, Steve directed the Fleet so smoothly that I never needed to intervene. Sharon had been in Customer Service for some time and this was the only area that needed more personnel. She had been in the position longer and had developed the system she used. To pass her over and promote someone new above her, would quite rightly disappoint and demotivate her and I would hate to lose her.
I decided to go and chat to her. This should have been porno man’s job, I ruminated bitterly as I walked along the corridor. I had better do it myself.
“Hey, Sharon. How’s it going?”
“Oh good to see you. The department’s growing all the time. Sometimes I wish I could be back in the times when I just asked stupid questions from customers instead of doing rotas and team vacation plans. We’re going to need five more staff, but I’ve already asked Personnel for them.”
“You’ll get them, Sharon. I promise. While we’re on the subject, do you like your job?”
“Like I said, I’d rather get on with talking to customers, coaching staff and really making the department work. I feel like I’m just a pen pusher doing admin all the time at the moment.”
“Sharon I really appreciate all the work you’ve put in and I think I just might have the answer. What do you think about putting Daniel in the admin seat, you train him and he takes it all off your shoulders? He would be your boss on paper, but as Customer Service Manager, you’d be doing the work you prefer.”
“That would be a relief, to be honest.”
“Good. I don’t want you to feel passed over and I certainly don’t want to lose you! If you don’t like the way anything is headed, then don’t hesitate to just tell me. We’ll see what we can do about it.”
“I don’t know if I can be a manager, I don’t have the training. I really miss the hands-on stuff actually.”
“I suggest you sit down with Daniel and give him a bit of training. Get to know him a bit. If you like the way he does things, then we’ll make you head of the operations side and Daniel the administrative side. How’s that for a deal?”
“Thanks. That sounds really fair. If Daniel is as nice as you, then the deals perfect.”
“Daniel’s much nicer than me and more than that, he’s a real scream. It’ll be hard not to like him, you’ll see!”
I went back into my office and called Daniel, asking him to stay in the office for the next week or so, to make sure he didn’t take off to Miami or somewhere to train flight attendants.
Next week Matt would also come back to the office. I wasn’t sure how well I was going to handle that. My feelings were ambivalent. Would I get all glassy eyed when he was back in my world? Be overcome by grief again? Or just dissolve into a bitter and twisted dwarf full of jealousy and anger? I hoped fervently that it wouldn’t be the later and I would manage to keep him on as a trusted friend.
The hoped for and dreaded Monday came. I didn’t arrive late in the office because I’d overslept. No. It was a purposeful dawdling that didn’t fool Aaron in the least. “We normally are driving onto Cam Am land by now. But of course this is no normal day. A certain Mr. Fowler is due back today, so it’s not a normal day, is it?”
“Thanks for that, Aaron. I’d almost forgotten.”
“Come on! You’re the boss! Did you forget that? It’s your home territory, don’t forget that. Don’t let yourself be pushed around. It won’t be that bad.”
“I was just waiting for you! As far as I’m concerned, we could have been there an hour ago!”
“You’re crazy!”
Matt was, of course, back in his office with its adjoining door to my room. I had seldom used the door which led from the corridor directly into my office, in order to force visitors to be censored by Matt first. I held my breath as I entered, feeling like a rabbit in the hypnotizing gaze of a snake. He looked as he always did, sculpted like Michelangelo’s David. I gathered myself to sound bright and business-like.
“Good morning, Matt! How was your vacation?” He looked up, no smile on his lips.
“Can we talk?” He asked quietly.
“Come into my office and bring coffee.” I said lightly and swept into my room. It wasn’t as hard as I thought.
“Cappuccino with cinnamon, just as you like it.” He said, placing the cup carefully on the desk.
“Thanks Matt. Come on, tell me about it.”
“Oli, I’m sorry. I think I’ve just made the biggest mistake of my life.” I looked blankly at him wondering whether he meant he had leaked confidential company information to the press or if he was referring me, or at least to our relationship.
“Say something Oli.”
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br /> “I’m just wondering what you mean?” I wanted to pick up a newspaper and flick through it, to hide my feelings, but he deserved a little respect, so I listened to him carefully.
“I really did love you, Oli. I’ve realized that now. And now I’ve hurt you. I didn’t want to do that. Can you forgive me?” Each of his words hit me directly in the chest. I had wanted to hear him say exactly that. Who had ever had their heart broken and not wanted to hear the man of their dreams come back to them full of remorse for what he had done? I didn’t know how to react spontaneously. Above all, I found it hard to believe that he meant it. Maybe superficially he was sorry, but would that change in the next few days?
“Ok Matt, listen up. I did cry all night for a while. I felt really down and took it badly for a few days. But now I feel okay. I’m sorry if it’s not going so well with your girlfriend and I mean that sincerely. I want you to be happy, I really do. But ‘us’. You and me? That just doesn’t work long term. I can’t play your games anymore. I’d like to keep you as a friend. I really would treat your friendship as a valuable gift. I will still look at you and remember how it was, but I want to keep it at that. It’s just got too complicated in the end.”
“Yes it did. Can I still work here?”
“I want that so much that I have given you a new title. Director of Operations. You’re going to need a small team to help you, I think and, of course, with a promotion, there is a raise. But maybe you’d be better changing allegiances and going to Chambers? Or dealing directly with the devil and going to Garcia? It’s up to you.”
“I want to stay here with you!”
“Ok, then think about where you want your office. Where it is, or move downstairs with the rest of the team?”
“I want to stay with you and I want to be able to talk things over with you as we’ve always done, before I made this shitty mistake.”
“Good. Just one more thing. My scars are still very fresh. I don’t want any of your lovers turning up in the office. My wounds are going to take time and effort to heal.”
“Anything you want.”
“Ok. We’ve sorted that out then. We’ll get down to business. I had to throw that joker who headed up Personnel out. Myself. I caught him wanking at his desk!”
“You didn’t? That is gross!”
“It is. It was. Aristo is taking over his post. It’s a bit early, but he’ll manage with a bit of time. And then …” I gave him a short summary of the office gossip and everything else that had been going on business-wise while he had been away. Then I passed my lists over.
“I put these together while you were away. Cast your eyes over it and if it meets your approval, make me proud.”
“I really want to make you proud.” He said soulfully.
“Matt! Just don’t start picking at old wounds!”
As Matt closed the door behind him, I breathed out with relief. It hadn’t gone too badly. I found I could talk to him relatively easily and he had stayed loyal. I should never have allowed myself to get involved with him, but that was all water under the bridge now. What did he mean with ‘the biggest mistake of his life’? Did he mean he regretted leaving me? He wanted to get back together? And what about me? What did I feel about getting back with him? Could I just forget what happened? If I, for argument’s sake, did go back to him, would I worry every time he was late home, or each time I went away that he would revert to his hetero life?
I would have loved someone to talk to about it. Someone wise with good sense like Ad. But, of course I couldn’t do that. I took a couple of calming deep breaths and realized too much had happened. There was far too much on my mental ‘contra’ list. He could never really accept the relationship; we had to keep it secret in the office; he was never really sure if he really wanted a woman; and then there was always the fear that he would leave me and there again, next time I might not recover so easily.
No. Matt was as finely chiseled as a piece of ancient Greek sculpture and very desirable, but now we were just platonic colleagues. And that’s the way it would stay!
“And where are we going to get a new Head of Personnel?” Matt asked me. I had asked him to lunch in an effort to redefine our relationship.
“I told you. Aristo is our new Head of Personnel.”
“Oh, yes you did. Sorry.”
“It’s more a question of where I get a new lover.” I said coolly. Matt’s fumbled with his fork that had suddenly seemed come to life in his hand. Why did I do it? It wasn’t malicious, it was just that the opportunity arose and I was mischievous enough to take advantage. “I think I’d like someone who had nothing at all to do with Can Am and was quite happy doing his own thing. Like in ‘Sex and the City’. That guy who made furniture.”
“If I remember rightly, he was cheated on really badly.”
“Really? Did Carrie tell Aiden that she’d started a lesbian affair when he came back from vacation?”
“That’s not fair, Oli!”
“Sorry, Matt. I didn’t mean to be nasty. I know that you haven’t got it easy. It just occurred to me. But maybe we should let sleeping dogs lie. I’m never going to find another perfect man like you and I have to get to grips with that. However hard it is.”
“Then let’s …”
“No, Matt! I couldn’t bear to break up like that again. Let’s just leave it. This way I have lots of lovely memories of you.”
Aaron’s cheeky grin came through the open door as he came to pick me up. As he had passed Matt’s desk he leant over to him asking if I was free. Matt’s answer was a short and brusque grunt.
“Come on, Oli. We’ve got stuff to do! We’re going to the gym, then I’ve got your order.”
“My order?”
“The underwear! You didn’t forget?”
“Oh yeah. I’m looking forward to that. I’ll be right there. I’ll see you in five, downstairs.”
I gathered my things and went through Matt’s office calling good bye to him.
“Did I hear you right? Have you got the Hulk buying underwear for you?”
“Yes, Matt, I did ask him to. Have you got a problem with that?”
“Did you ask him to fuck you too?”
“Come on, Matt. Please don’t bring out the green-eyed monster! There’s nothing between us anymore, is there? We don’t have anything in common any more. And he doesn’t make furniture, as far as I know.” Matt joined in with my laughter. “You poor delicate thing. Should I ask him not come upstairs to pick me up in future?”
“No. I’ll manage. I just want you to know that it’s not easy for me either.”
“Come here!” I said and motioned him to stand up. I pressed him to me in a bear hug, feeling the warmth of his body. He felt just as sexy to me as he had a couple of weeks ago. “Matt, we have to make this work. I need you!” Tears shot into my eyes as I said it and I reluctantly let him go and made my way down to the car. That had been a bit too much. I had managed breakfast and lunchtime, but I felt as if I had bitten off more than I could chew.
I sat in the car and closed the door with a slam. “We’re flying Saturday!” I told Aaron.
“To Greece?”
“Yes. Oh and I have to call Debbie. And Antonis.”
“Are we going to stay as long as we did last time?”
“I think so. Matt’s back at the helm and will keep it all ship shape.” I have to send Aristo home. Well, back here to his workplace. He doesn’t even know that he’s lost his boss and been promoted. Well not lost all his bosses. I’m still his boss.”
“And is Debbie coming?”
“And her friend. I really want to know if she wears a lumberjack’s shirt.”
“Yeah, I know. You told me about that. I’m really looking forward to it.”
“You know what you could do when we get home? You could look for a Range Rover in Athens.”
“Why don’t you get a Cayenne or an Q7, the SUV from Audi, or something?”
“Because the only all-terrain vehicle is
a Land Rover. Everything else is just kitsch.”
“So here’s the plan: Gym first, then underwear, then looking at cars.”
“Man! Aaron! Can’t we drop the gym for one day?”
“You’ll do 45 minutes at least.”
I really didn’t want to go, but on the other hand, I was glad that Aaron was pushing me into it. Matt had had different approach and Aaron usually already had had a session in the gym while I was in the office, but it was fine even though I really didn’t fancy doing it. The time would pass quickly and then I would be able to pat myself on the back and congratulate myself for keeping it up.
“Debbie?”
“We’re flying Saturday, what about you?”
“I got the papers this morning. We could fly together. Oh God, you and I in the plane together! Just don’t talk the whole time, ok?”
“Should I book you into a hotel?”
“I’ll do that myself and give you the bill. I think I’ve found one already. It’s a nice one with its own private pool. A villa. Do you know it?”
“In Vathy? You’ll need a car, it’s a half hour away.”
“I’ll manage half an hour. Get me a car then!”
“I’m not sure that you’ll get an automatic there. They’re mostly manual in Europe.”
“Don’t bore me with details. If you want me there, you’ll have to find me a car. Is that all? I’ve got to get on as usual, I’ve got stuff I need to do.”
“My pleasure. Take care. See you Saturday.”
“Antonis? Oh shit! The time difference. Sorry, I always forget that. Good morning. I need two rooms for four weeks from Saturday. You’re booked out? That’s shit. Where am I going to stay now? I see what I can find in Kamares. Sorry again for waking you. Thanks!”
I called Spiros in Kamares and found that he had two rooms. That was, he had one room and would manage to find another. I would get my old room, anyway. Number five.