Oh God, I was such an idiot.
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~
Micah
Despite what she probably thought, I didn’t take the offer of a bed for the night as code for we’re gonna have sex. I would be a liar if I said it didn’t cross my mind, a liar if I said I didn’t want to, because by God I really fucking did…but I had this vibe that it wasn’t the right time, not yet. We were okay, she had said she trusted me, and she felt safe with me but…I don’t know…I didn’t feel she was ready yet to trust me like that, and I absolutely did not want to take her to bed in that sense until I was certain and she was certain it was time. Until it felt one thousand percent right.
Getting ready for bed was the most awkward experience of my life. I was a sleep commando kind of guy but somehow I figured that was not the way to go that night. But I had nothing with me other than the clothes I was standing in, so I had a decision to make. I washed up quickly in the bathroom and then emerged back in the bedroom wearing just my trousers. We had a slightly awkward meeting in the doorway where she did her best to get past me without looking at me, although I caught her eyes travelling up and down my chest, her tongue slipping over her bottom lip in involuntary appreciation before she dove into the bathroom and shut and locked the door.
I realised then that she did want more from this night, it was just her confidence that wasn’t quite caught up to her sexual, natural needs. Her mind was still overruling her body’s desires. Okay, so I would step it up a notch tonight, but we weren’t going all the way until I had made her understand that I loved her body, lusted after her curves and she was something, someone, to be worshipped and savoured – that I could and would do that for her. Tonight would simply be about me showing her what she did to me and for me. The rest would come naturally, with time.
I headed into the bedroom, stepped out of my trousers and slipped into her bed wearing just my boxers, snuggling under the covers and just waiting.
What felt like a lifetime later the bathroom door opened and she eventually appeared in the bedroom doorway. I swallowed a lump of emotion as I took in the sight before me. She was wearing an oversized white tee shirt, the outlines of her nipples just visible beneath the cotton, and her knickers and nothing else. Her red hair was down, resting over her left shoulder and the only light, from the lamp beside me illuminated her perfectly. She looked extraordinarily beautiful. She had one arm across her middle, as though trying to cover herself up, and then after a final moment of hesitation she managed to get her feet to move, walked over and slipped into the bed beside me.
I turned onto my side to face her, keen to get her as close to me as possible as quickly as possible and placed a steady hand on her hip, very conscious of where I was touching her and how, and leaned over to plant a kiss on her forehead.
“Jewls…I’m not staying because I think I’m gonna get sex. We don’t have to do that yet; we won’t be doing that tonight. There’s no rush. Is it okay if I…if I touch you?”
More slight hesitation and she nodded slowly. “Okay…”
I reached over behind me and flicked the light off, leaving us with only the light from the streetlamp outside. I badly wanted to see her, take in every glorious square inch of her body, but I knew she would be more comfortable in the dark so that would have to wait.
“If you want me to stop at any point…if you don’t like what I’m doing…you just tell me to stop, and I will right away. Promise me you will tell me, Jewls.”
“I will…” she croaked.
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~
Jewls
The hand that had been resting on my hip slid down my thigh and back up again, resting briefly on my bum before moving up my back, over my shoulder and down my front, eventually settling on my left breast. I felt every nerve ending in my body prickling and responding to his touch. I could feel the heat from his body and desperately wanted to touch him too, to feel his hot flesh beneath my hands. He tweaked my nipple between his thumb and forefinger and I couldn’t stop the moan that escaped my lips. I was grateful he had turned out the light; it gave me more confidence than I would have had otherwise.
I raised a trembling hand, hesitating just for a moment before placing it somewhere safe, his shoulder. Sure enough, the heat of his skin was incredible. When sexy men are described as hot, it isn’t usually a literal description, with Micah it was. The man was on fire.
His hand continued its exploration, down my front to my stomach, and I winced in shame at the extra roll of fat there – no flat, perfect stomach for this girl. Finding their way to my hip, his fingers gently squeezed the extra flesh there and he let out a sigh.
“This body is beautiful, Jewls…” he whispered, “everything you hate about it…they’re all the things I love. This is what I find attractive. You have a real body, you have places I can lay my hands…this is what a real man wants, Jewls. Not a handful of bones, but real flesh on a real full woman…”
I almost scoffed out loud at that but fortunately managed to bite it back. I had been called many things before, called myself many things – fat, chubby, chunky to name a few of the better words…but never ‘full’, never that.
“Um…” was all I managed to say, and I sensed his smile.
“Are you okay, Jewls?”
“I’m okay…” I said, and I was. My nerves had settled, my heart rate…not so much. I wanted to put my hands all over his body, and so that’s what I did. I shifted in the bed and settled both palms on his chest. He did the same thing he had done when I did that on the waltzer. He hissed as though he had been burned and I felt his chest tighten, the muscles contorting. I smoothed my hands on his chest hair, down his front and to his hips and before I could stop myself, leaned forward, pressing my full body against him.
“Christ, Jewls…I love having you so close to me. I meant what I said…we don’t have to go all the way. We won’t, not tonight. Do you trust me, Jewls? With your body? What I mean is…”
I let out a sigh. God I didn’t want him to feel like he needed permission for every move his hands made. I wasn’t a virgin after all. I also wasn’t as fragile as he thought either. The incident at the park had freaked me out purely because it had been unexpected, no other reason.
“Stop talking Micah…” I breathed and then to reiterate the point that I was not some inexperienced first-timer, I put my hand straight between his legs.
I will be honest, it was a bold move but not one that I thought would leave me breathless. A man’s cock was his cock and they weren’t the most attractive of body parts, not to me. But that belief had changed now. Just the material of his underwear separated me from the most impressive erection I had ever known. It had to be eight inches at least, solid and thick, incredibly thick. And I realised, he must have meant it, he must actually find my body attractive, because this erection…it was for me. I was doing that to him, me and my less than perfect body with the lumps and bumps. I was turning him on. And suddenly I wanted us to go all the way; I wanted that more than anything. I wanted to feel that inside of me, desperately. It had been so long since I’d had any kind of pleasurable sexual experience I was suddenly overcome with lust and desire for the gorgeous man pressed against me.
I rubbed his length, massaging it in the grip of my fingers, feeling empowered by his appreciative moans of arousal. Knowing I was capable of that…it went a long way to healing me, to boosting my confidence. In a beat he flipped me onto my back and straddled me, grinding his body against mine, resting on his clenched fists planted on the pillow either side of my head. He leaned down slowly to kiss me, the streetlight reflecting off the defined muscles of his upper arms, a sheen of sweat visible on his skin. I felt the charge go through us both, rippling through our bodies like waves, desire pooling between my legs. I slipped my hands down the centre of his spine, scratching him gently with my fingernails before settling on his bum, squeezing hard.
“Oh…fuck…” he muttered, “I want you so bad, Jewls…”
&n
bsp; “You can have me…” I replied, surprised myself at my courage. “It’s okay…”
He smiled at that and kissed me hungrily before climbing back off me and laying back down beside me. He scooped me up into his arms, holding me close to him, my head resting on his chest.
“As much as I hate to leave a lady wanting…when I have you Jewls…everything about it will be perfect. Our first time, will be a night you will never, ever forget. I will make it special, I will raise the bar and then you will never get anything less from me than everything I can give you. Tonight is not the night. But I do have one request…”
“Okay…” I said, overwhelmed by his words and was that…disappointment I felt?
“I want to feel you next to me. All of you. You should not be ashamed of this perfect body. We keep the lights off tonight, but I need to feel you. Next time…when we…I want to see you. What do you say?”
I didn’t know what to say. So, I figured, actions would speak louder than words. I sat up on the bed and lifted my tee shirt off over my head. In the dim light I saw his eyes on me, sparkling and completely beautiful. He looked at me like I was a rare jewel, like I was special and that was how he made me feel. He looked at me, sitting there naked and he accepted me just as I was.
I laughed a little nervously at my own boldness, and he grabbed me and pulled me back into his arms, kissing the top of my head.
“Sleep, my beautiful lady. I promise I won’t let you go. Good night, Jewls.”
“Good night, Micah…” I purred and settled happily into his arms, kissing the centre of his chest before resting my head there and quickly drifting off into a contented, peaceful sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~
Micah
I was awake a full hour before Jewls finally roused from her sleep. I had woken to find her wrapped around me, one leg stretched across me, her hand on my chest, her face pressed into my neck. I buried my nose in her hair, that familiar coconut smell filling my senses. The feel of her soft pink skin next to mine, all over mine…made me happier than anything ever had before. If we could have just stayed like that together in that bed forever, it would have suited me down to the ground. I wanted her sleeping in my arms always, so I could watch her, but at the same time I longed for those wide blue eyes to flutter open and look at me.
And then sure enough, they did. A lazy smile spread across her face as she looked up at me.
“Morning…”
“Good morning, beautiful…” I purred.
She ran a hand along my chest and sighed. “I love your hairy chest. Proper men have hair on their chest, ya know?”
I laughed at that and shook my head. “Funny you should say that…Marco shaves his chest hair.”
“He what?”
I nodded, grinning. “Yeah, he says the ladies prefer it.”
“Girls maybe…but us women…us proper, full women…we love a hairy chest.” she closed her eyes suddenly and shifted off me, scrambling for the covers. “Oh my God…I’m naked…in the daylight…!”
I couldn’t help but laugh again. “Yes Jewls, you are…”
She pulled the sheet over herself, over both of us and sat up. Her nipples rubbed against my chest, and I felt my cock stir in instant response. I know she felt it, I could see it in her eyes, and it was rubbing against her leg. Looking down the cover I could still see her glorious nakedness but if the vague shelter afforded her by the thin sheet made her feel better, I would let her have it, for now.
She glanced over my shoulder at the clock. “Oh man, we have work in an hour. You want a shower first, or…?”
“Ladies first…” I said with a grin. She sat up and made to get up with the sheet wrapped around her. I made a point of keeping a tight hold on it.
She narrowed her eyes in a very cute attempt to look menacing. “Let go of the sheet, Micah.”
“No…” I said playfully.
“Micah…I don’t want you to see…”
“See what? The gorgeous body I’ve been ogling for the last hour while you were still asleep?”
She raised her eyebrows at that, shocked. “Oh don’t!”
“I’ve told you how I feel about your body, Jewls. It’s fucking stunning. So please…go get your shower and don’t ever hide, not from me. I dare you. And despite what you say, I know you love a challenge. You’re with me, after all. That’s got to be challenging enough.”
She rolled her eyes at that. “You have no idea…”
“So…?”
She let out a rather desperate sigh. “Micah, please…just hand over the damn sheet. I’m not getting out of this bed until you do.”
I shrugged, deciding to push this just a little further. I had to break through this barrier, no matter what. I couldn’t bear to go another day with her feeling she was less than adequate physically. Because I thought she was fucking amazing.
“I guess you’re ringing in sick for the both of us then, huh?”
She smiled brightly at that, and I felt myself falling head over heels in love. It was past erotic seeing her naked body; it was more than that now. I had never seen a girl with such flawless, smooth skin and the fact that there was more of it – because yes, she was a big girl – turned me on all the more.
The notion that lads like me, popular with the ladies, tall, muscular, living on their looks – because yeah, I was a good looking lad, no point pretending I didn’t know that – are only attracted to girls with tiny waists, long legs and perfect hair – is a complete myth. That’s the image that society puts out, this idea of the ‘perfect girl’ being a size eight, with not an ounce of fat, immaculate hair, perfect teeth and whatnot, the perfect guy looking something like…well, me…and that’s what a perfect couple looks like…it’s bullshit really. Most lads, whatever they look like, would rather have a real lady with more meat on her – though I really hate that word when associated with women, ‘meat’ it doesn’t sound right to me – than a girl they put their arms around and feel nothing.
The difference between me and most lads like me I suppose, is that I wasn’t afraid to go after what I actually wanted, over what society expected me to want. Jewls…Jewls couldn’t get past the notion that in her world, men like me didn’t fancy girls like her. I really needed her to drop her preconceived ideas and just let us…be. It didn’t matter if men like me didn’t usually go for girls like her, for her…I did, I had and that was that.
Girls from a young age have an idea of their dream man and what he will look like, well men do too. Difference is, when men find the girl that matches that idea, we go for it. Women give up looking for him, or worse in Jewls’ case…tell themselves they don’t deserve him. Absurd.
Seems to me, women are programmed to cause themselves to fail in love half the time and they think it’s cause they set their standards too high. I say, raise the bar, accept only the very best, the person who is exactly who you always dreamed you would be with. He’s out there, and you do deserve him. You deserve each other.
I knew I had found my soulmate in Jewls, I knew it with all my heart. She felt the same, she just had to let go and let herself believe she deserved it.
Then there would be no stopping us, no breaking us apart.
When I finally snapped out of my daydreaming of the future, it was to an empty bedroom, she had taken the opportunity to scoot off into the bathroom.
I stood smiling to myself for a moment and then decided to have a little look around her bedroom while I had the chance.
It wasn’t like most girls bedrooms I had been in before. She didn’t have one of those dressers jam-packed full of products – hair stuff, skin stuff, make-up and the like. I cringed to myself when I realised I owned more of that stuff than she did. I guess I was pretty vain. She didn’t seem to bother with stuff like that and honestly, she didn’t need it. She had naturally flawless skin, probably because she didn’t wear make-up. Like the rest of the flat, there wasn’t much here, she had few clothes, nothing personal that showed the room wa
s hers, she really didn’t own very much at all and it made me kind of sad. She deserved the world, and instead she had a small one bed flat that was virtually empty.
Something on her nightstand caught my eye and I sat on the edge of the bed, eyeing it curiously. It was a notepad, just a simple thing. I know I shouldn’t have been nosy, looking at things that were none of my business but really, it didn’t say The Secret Diary Of Jewls Dempsey across the front. I’m a man, men are nosy creatures.
I hesitated one final time, before opening it up and starting to read.
‘So,’ Michael said, ‘you gonna come out with me tonight Jess?’
‘Me? Err…’ Jess stammered.
She so wanted to go out with him, she desperately wanted to say yes, but….. guys like him…. Did they really want a girl like her?
‘Well Jess, what do you say? Come on, it will be fun.’
Should she? Should she go against her own rules, against everything she’s told herself about trusting again?
She hesitated, then… ‘Yes, okay, I’ll come.’ He looked deep into her eyes and he smiled that certain smile of his, and said….’Oh, I’ll make sure of it…’
Wait! What? I raised both eyebrows. I had expected…shopping lists, stuff like that…instead I was being given an insight into the elusive, secret thoughts of Jewls. Like it was a diary after all. Disguised as…what? A book?
Suddenly I really did feel like I was intruding. This was obviously not meant for my eyes. And yet…I could not resist the urge to keep reading.
Michael’s bedroom was big, almost as big as Jess’s entire flat, she thought. The walls were a deep, rich red with pale drapes and furnishings. A real fireplace took up one wall; a small bar was in the corner.
But it was the bed that made Jess’s eyes widen. It was huge, dominating the centre of the room, wooden, made up with cream linens.
Gypsy Kiss: Book 1: Micah (The Gypsy Kiss Series) Page 23