I lunged at him and he took a step back, dragging Jewls with him. His feet were close to the edge of the pier, right near a spot where the railings had rusted and broken away. I don’t think he realised how close he was, but Jewls did, her fear was evident in her eyes. She shot me a pleading look, and I felt Eli on my arm, holding me back.
That was when I heard the sirens, distant at first, but quickly closer by. I didn’t look behind me but I immediately knew they were there and I immediately knew why. Mari. I didn’t know if I was angry with her or relieved. I hadn’t factored in just how much danger Jewls would be in, and that was my error. Certainly none of this was going to plan. We had allowed ourselves to be driven by emotions – negative emotions – and this vile man in front of us was in danger of turning us all into men we were not. Violent men, men like my father. The thought left a bitter taste in my mouth.
“Mr Dempsey? You are surrounded by the police; we need to ask you a few questions in connection with a fire at Carousel and the murder of Marco Machvaya on the fifth of November. I highly recommend that you step this way and come of your own accord. There’s no way out, you have no other option.”
He didn’t move, none of us did.
“Boys, if you could step away and come this way. We’ll take it from here.”
I looked up at Kris and Luca, who were looking at me as though waiting for me to give them direction. I nodded discretely at them and they edged past us and were gone.
“Micah…” Nic said quietly and I shook my head.
“Not leaving Jewls with him.”
“Go, Nic we got this…” Eli said, standing closer to my side in support. I think we had something similar in mind – somehow get Jewls away from him, and then let the police have him.
When the shit actually hit the fan, it was quick and completely unexpected for all of us. I guess the whole thing lasted less than three or four minutes, but they were amongst the worst few minutes of my life.
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~
Jewls
The whole thing had descended into a complete nightmare. I was relieved that the police showed up before any of the boys could do anything to get themselves hurt or in trouble, but at the same time Andrew now felt cornered and threatened and angry…and none of those things boded well for me in particular. He would, as always, blame me for everything and through his physical contact – one had on my pony tail and one on my hip – I could practically feel his raw anger.
I don’t remember ever coming up with a plan in my head, I don’t remember putting any thought into it at all. My reflexes had always been pretty lousy and actually I still think they are. Because what seemed like a good idea in the split second it came to me, almost got me killed.
I moved my arm forward and brought it back with as much force as I could possibly muster. It connected at exactly its intended target, right in his groin.
“Ow, you fucking bitch!” he yelled at me, and as I tried to move away from him, he grabbed me again.
What happened next is, to this very day, a blur. It feels like it happened to someone else, like watching a movie. I can only go on flashbacks of memories that come to me occasionally during that state somewhere between awake and sleep, just before you drift off.
Andrew tumbled off the edge of the pier, knocking me off my feet as he went, and keeping a hold of my left foot. I felt myself sliding fast towards the edge, the sheer weight of him dragging me with him.
I screamed, I screamed until I had no air left and then I screamed again. I had one hand on the pole, but I was fast losing my grip. Just as I let go, I felt the weight of Andrew gone from my leg and my hand was caught. I looked up to find Micah had a hold of me, his face contorted in a grimace of agony. He was holding on to me with both hands – both heavily bandaged hands – and I couldn’t begin to imagine how much pain he must be in. Moments later Eli had me too, and together they pulled me back up onto the pier. I went to look behind me and Eli shook his head.
“No, no…don’t look. It’s okay, you’re safe.”
I let out the breath I had been holding, evidently the last one I had, and then everything faded to black.
Chapter Twenty-Five
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~
Jewls
The next time I woke up, it was to the bright lights of a hospital room, and a doctor smiling at me.
“Welcome back, Jewls. How are you feeling?”
I frowned. “Yeah, I’m fine. What’s going on? What time is it?”
“It’s seven thirty in the morning. You passed out last night, and it’s taken us a while to get you awake again. When was the last time you ate properly, Jewls?”
“Uh…” I couldn’t think properly, no matter how hard I tried to focus my mind. “I dunno…uh…”
“Do you remember what happened? You had quite an ordeal.”
I did, all of a sudden, or at least I thought I did. But it felt like it had to be a dream. In my mind I could see Micah looking down at me, holding on to me as I hung off the…
Oh my God.
“Andrew-”
“Um…I will let the police discuss things with you. In the meantime, rest. We did some tests to make sure there were no underlying issues behind you fainting. How far along are you, Jewls?”
“How far along what?”
“Your pregnancy.”
What the fuck?
I scoffed. “I’m not pregnant.”
He looked at me carefully, almost smiling. “Yes, you are. Your bloods say you are. You didn’t know?”
For a moment all I could do was stare at him. I was in complete and utter shock, and then finally I was able to shake it off.
“I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. I was diagnosed when I was nineteen. I have…if I am lucky…maybe two periods every six months. I can’t get pregnant.”
Now he did smile. “Well…you defied the odds. Congratulations.”
I sat back, trying to get my head around what he was saying. “This is…”
“Is it not good news?”
“The timing…um…are you sure?”
“Yes, we’re sure. Listen Micah is outside and would like to talk to you. Can I send him in?”
“Micah’s here?”
“Yes, he was worried about you.”
I felt a sudden panic then. “Does anyone know…have you mentioned this to…?”
“No, and we won’t. But…if you like we can do a scan, determine how far along you are and arrange for you to see your midwife as soon as possible. Discretely, would you like me to do that?”
I nodded slowly. The scan would show nothing and they would realise their mistake I was sure of that. “Okay…”
He nodded and wrote something on his clipboard. “Okay, I’ll send Micah in, and then the police may want a word.”
He left before I could think of anything else to say and shortly after Micah came in, looking uncomfortable and tired. He was dressed in a black tracksuit, trainers and a black woolly hat, and even managed to make that look sexy. In spite of everything, in spite of all the stress and heartache of the previous few weeks, I still reacted with butterflies in my stomach when I looked at him; still felt that magnetic pull towards him, only now it felt more like a dull ache. He was beautiful, pure and simple. Only now he was a beautiful mess. His hands bore fresh clean bandages.
“Hey Jewls…”
“Hi…” I swallowed. “Look, I don’t remember it properly but…you uh…saved me right? Thank you.”
“You think I would have let you fall?”
“No…Andrew, did he…?”
“He lost his grip on you. Hit the water, and the rocks…they fished his body out the water, but he was dead. He’s gone.”
“Oh…” I felt oddly numb about that. No anger, no sadness…nothing.
“Yeah. It’s over. Are you alright, Jewls?”
“Yeah fine. Just need to eat something and rest a bit.”
“I’ll call Mari, have her make something, bring it in.”
“No, there’s no need. Not your job, or hers.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
I shook it off. “Never mind. So uh…are you okay?”
He nodded a little. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“What did the police say?”
“They gave me and the others a warning, and a dressing down for trying to take the law into our own hands.” He rolled his eyes when he said that. “But I had to do something. And ya know, it was worth it, it was all worth it cause he’s paid now and it’s over. You uh…you and Mari shouldn’t have called the police in, we were gonna handle it. He could have seriously hurt you. Fuck he nearly killed you. Why did you?”
I narrowed my eyes, feeling anger setting in, in spite of myself. “Why? That man, he murdered your brother, and he could have done the same to you.”
“I don’t really…”
“What? Care? Do you care about me, Micah?”
He flinched at that and nodded, his expression suggesting I shouldn’t need to ask. “You know I do, Jewls. Why are you being so…off with me? You know now that I didn’t mean what I said to you, that I needed him to believe it was all real, that we were done. He needed to believe it, and for that to happen, you needed to believe it. You do realise that, right?”
“Yeah…” Well, now I did. It was good to hear it I guess.
“Why are you so mad at me?”
The first of my tears had begun to fall and I made no attempt to hide them. I wanted him to see, see how much he had hurt me.
“The very fact that you have to ask that, confirms for me what I think I’ve known for a while now. Me and you, Micah…what we had, that connection…it’s gone, isn’t it? You used to make me feel safe, secure and loved. And that wasn’t something that came to me easily. I put my trust in you, and you literally threw me to the wolves – the wolf. He could have killed me last night, and yes, you saved my life. And believe me; I will be eternally grateful for that and for what you tried to do. But…you sent me to him in the first place, so you could get your revenge. The whole thing was set up, not to stop me leaving with him, not even to rescue me from him…but just for your revenge. Not one bit about it was for me, or about me.”
“Jewls, I’m sorry if you feel…”
“It’s not about feeling, it’s a fact. You put me in the middle, you used me and you didn’t give me a thought in that. It’s not just that either…ever since we realised who killed Marco, and why, you know that I’ve been overwhelmed with guilt. You know I thought you hated me, and you didn’t set me straight, Micah. You let me feel that way, alone. You sent me back to a man I told you regularly hit me, raped me and kicked a baby from my belly, to run the risk of him doing all that to me again. The fact that you were willing to do that speaks volumes to me.”
The tears were rolling down his cheeks now too as the weight of my words settled on him. “I’m so sorry…I never…”
“I’m not gonna hold it against you; I’m not mad…because I get it. Your loss is…monumental and you can’t handle it. But to suggest that now he’s dead…all’s well that ends well between us, is just absurd. Whatever we had is gone, Micah. And it was never what I thought it was in the first place. I know it probably sounds selfish, but I want to be the centre of someone’s world. I deserve that kind of love. You…a part of you will always look at me and think, if she hadn’t come along I would still have my brother.”
He shook his head erratically. “No. No, you’re wrong, Jewls…”
“Am I? I don’t think so, or where have you been these last few weeks, huh? You let your family in but me? I get nothing, not even a text to say I don’t blame you, I still love you, give me some time. Micah, I want to be the top of someone’s list, not an afterthought. And I will not spend my life feeling guilty for things he did. That’s not my cross to bear.”
I hesitated for a moment and kissed his cheek.
“I will always love you, with every single fibre of my being. And if you could have loved me back with the same force, or even half of that force, we might be holding hands right now ready to move forward together but…you don’t and you know it’s true. So I’m gonna walk away now, and you’re not gonna follow me. And that isn’t code for follow me. I truly don’t want you to. It’s time to let it go and move on. I need to start putting me first. Mrs Right is still out there for you…it’s not me. I was never meant for you, I can’t believe I ever thought I was. Take care, Micah.”
“Jewls…”
I took the engagement ring off my finger and slipped it in his pocket. It was extraordinarily brave and the hardest thing I had ever done. I didn’t want to do it. “It’s time for you to leave.”
He stared at me incredulously, as though unable to believe what I had just done. I couldn’t believe it either.
“Jewls, please you don’t mean that. We can talk about this right? I love you. I screwed up, I know that. But we can fix this…right?”
I hesitated before saying the words I knew would break me as well as him. “It’s too late.”
“Jewls, please.”
“Do I have to actually throw you out?! Go!”
I leapt off the bed, feeling my head spinning, and opening the door. He sighed in frustration and stepped out and I slammed it shut behind him, turning my back to it. A couple of minutes passed and I heard it open again.
“I thought I told you-” I whirled around and stopped when I saw who it was.
“Hi, sweetheart…”
For a moment I couldn’t speak at all, and then I managed to get one word out. “Mum…” before I finally broke down, falling into her embrace as she wrapped her arms around me and held me close, letting me cry it out.
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~
Jewls
Eventually she pulled me away to look at me, and helped me back to sit on the edge of the bed, sitting beside me.
“I want you to tell me everything. Start with how I had to find all this out in the early hours of the morning from a phone call from the police. Sweetheart, why didn’t you tell me? I drove through the night to get here.”
“I’m sorry.” I sniffed. “It’s all such a nightmare!”
“It’s okay…I’m here now. Talk to me, please. Yeah?”
I hesitated and nodded slowly. “Yeah…”
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~
Micah
I marched out of the hospital, determined not to stop until I was clear of the place. I burst out through the double doors and round the corner before letting out a sharp breath and a few tears.
“Bro…?”
I looked to my left to find Eli standing there, smoking a cigarette. “Eli…”
“What happened?”
“Um…yeah, she threw me out. We’re finished.”
He considered that, obviously surprised and offered me a cigarette. “Here, looks like you could use one of these.”
I let out a deep sigh. “I can’t even hold the fucking thing.”
“Here.” He lit it for me and stuck it in the corner of my mouth. He never even mentioned the tears in my eyes, and I was grateful. “Tell me exactly what she said. You know she’s probably in shock, right?”
“I blew it, Eli. It’s as simple as that. I hurt her, more than he ever did. She said nothing about last night was about her, it was just about revenge. And I’ve left her for weeks feeling guilty, feeling to blame and done nothing to sort that. She’s right, bro. I have spectacularly let her down. I hurt her, I used her, I let her down…and she can’t forgive me for that. And you know what the worst thing is? I don’t blame her one bit, bro. Losing Marco…I wasn’t able to think straight. I pushed her away when I should have brought her closer. I left her to deal with Andrew alone and then I deliberately put her in danger. And now…?” I felt proper tears coming now, and I was completely unable to hold them in. “Now…I’ve lost everything.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment or two and then he nodded and took the cigarette out of my mouth, throwing it away.
/>
“I’m gonna take you home, bro.”
“I don’t wanna go home.”
“What do you wanna do?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. Actually that’s a lie. I want to take myself back to that pier and throw myself off it.”
Eli whirled on me at that, which I guess I had known he would. “Don’t say that! Don’t even think it! Christ this family has lost enough, Micah. We’re gonna get you through this. Tell me what you need.”
I considered that, wiping my eyes with my sleeve, being mindful of the sensitive, raw skin around my left eye. “I hurt my hands when I pulled Jewls up. They said I uh…popped some of the blisters. They hurt like a motherfucker. What I need? Is alcohol. I need you to take me to the shop and buy me a big, big bottle of whiskey and help me drink it.”
“Well that’s all well and good bro, but it’s what, eight in the morning? And you can’t drink on the medication you’re on, bro.”
“Either you take me and help me drink it, or I go on my own, buy a big bottle of whiskey, maybe a crate of beer and some vodka, and I’ll take it down the pier and drink it all. Your choice, Eli.”
He stopped, as though pondering his options and it was his turn to sigh. “I got an old, expensive bottle of whiskey at my house. The kids are at Lisa’s parents’ house for the weekend. Come on.”
~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~
Jewls
I told mum everything and she sat there and let me get it all out. Eventually I simply ran out of breath, stopped and waited for her verdict.
“Oh love…” she muttered. “Are you sure it’s over with Micah?”
Gypsy Kiss: Book 1: Micah (The Gypsy Kiss Series) Page 39