by Ellis, Eliza
He left her standing there, mute.
It took several minutes for her to continue walking along the trail, and she didn’t stop until she’d sequestered herself within the empty office. She leaned against a wall and hugged herself, unable to stop his words from looping over and over in her mind.
Everything he’d said was true.
She did think he was too young. Yet, when they were together, his age never crossed her mind—other than when she was giving him lessons. He was articulate and smart, and wasn’t afraid of her…anymore. Even if he hadn’t lifted a few weights to fill out his thin frame, and ditched the glasses, his company was a calming influence. He was safe, yet intriguing.
A man she could trust when the father she had always wanted never appeared.
He was also right about the girls. Once his app dropped and he became a gazillionaire, girls upon girls would line up to walk with him or be seen in VIP rooms at the hottest clubs. Pete wasn’t the club type, but he’d settle into the lifestyle because she had rejected him. When did she have this much power?
She may eventually run into him, if he ever visited L.A. And she’d remember he was her perfect kiss. Would he remember?
Bertie came into the office with a worried expression on her face. “My brother looks like he’s going to beat someone up. He’s never looked this extreme. What happened?”
Keke shrugged. “Dunno,” she lied. “Did you tell him about your mom?”
Bertie rolled her eyes. “Of course not.”
That angered Keke. The one person who had the power to change everything could only see things one way. “You have to tell him. You and your mother. He’s going to find out, and I doubt he’ll be happy that you two kept that big a secret from him.”
“He can’t handle—”
“Bertie, give me a break. You’re wrong. He’s an adult. Even if he couldn’t handle it, it’s the perfect time for him to learn how. I mean, do we ever handle losing a parent? No. You grieve, and you get through it.”
Bertie snorted. “You couldn’t even return for your own father’s funeral. You’re still bitter over what he said and did. Holding on to it as though you need it to fuel your own success. How’s that working for you?” Bertie peered into Keke’s eyes. “How are you handling it? Are you grieving? Getting through it?”
Bertie stomped past her and went out the other office door.
Keke sighed and collapsed against the desk. No. She wasn’t handling it. She was outright avoiding it. Grieving? She was in the anger stage, so that was a…yes?
Coming home was supposed to be a quick drive through. A week of s’mores and campfire songs, and then out to L.A. She never expected her entire life to be upended this much and so quickly.
The Headleys…
Chapter 20
With a grunt, Pete yanked the rope, securing the knot to the last of the boats at the dock. He stood to full height and wiped the sweat off his brow. One more day and this group of kids would be gone.
Until the next weeklong camp session.
Pete sighed in relief. He wouldn’t be here next week. His father expected him to travel to Cornell, but he would be in Silicon Valley. He probably wouldn’t be back period, if he had his way.
In fact, he’d made up his mind to never come back. Keke had been right to stay away. This place gnawed at one’s soul until there was nothing left. He had to get out, or he’d never forgive himself.
Keke…
She had rejected him. The familiar experience stung far worse now that he’d held her in his arms and kissed her. The look in her eyes before their lips met. Her embarrassment afterwards. He had convinced himself it wasn’t just him; she had felt it too. That unspoken desire; the uniting of their—
Now he just sounded stupid. And so did his admission, as it played over and over in his head, followed by her insistent no. His mind had gone so far as to exaggerate Keke’s response to a laugh and a sneer. Soon, he’d probably hear words she didn’t speak, but he’d heard from her while growing up:
“Oh, Petey, you’re so silly.”
“Petey, why do you look like such a dork?”
“Petey, you’re still a hobbit?”
Pete closed his eyes and groaned. He’d misjudged their kiss. She was just showing him how to get the girl. Not any girl, but Lea. Certainly not herself.
He’d thrown back in her face that he was going to get girl after girl, but the truth was he didn’t want anyone but her. Maybe one day he’d find someone as amazing as her; it’s not every day you’d find a girl willing to teach you how to kiss—but he doubted it. For all her faults, Keke was one of a kind.
“There you are,” Bertie said. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”
“You know Dad has me running around like an errand boy.”
“What are you doing out here?”
“Retying the boats to the dock.”
Bertie looked around at the canoes. “Retying the boats? What on earth for? Were they not tied up in the first place?”
They’d been out on the water about an hour or so ago. While the kids were eating lunch, Titus had come into the cafeteria and ordered Pete up and back to the dock, claiming one of the boats looked loose. All the boats were secure. “No. He’s punishing me for giving him a hard time about Cornell.”
Bertie sighed. She laid a hand on his back. “Peter…about that. Well, actually, there’s something I gotta tell you.”
“I’ve made up my mind, Bertie. No one’s going to change it.”
“It’s Mom, Peter.” Bertie’s face contorted like she was in pain. Her eyes watered. “We have to go to the hospital.”
* * *
Pete had been numb ever since his sister told him their mother was in the hospital. They’d run back to the office, Bertie telling him along the way that Mom had been sick for a couple of years—which he knew; they’d thought it was lupus—but in the last few months, doctors had agreed she had an aggressive form of cancer. It was the reason she was rarely at camp. She was seeing the doctor and getting tested.
Now they were on the highway, stuck in traffic behind an accident, and Pete grew ever more fidgety.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Bertie said quietly. “I should’ve. Mom didn’t want you to worry about her. And I…”
“There’s no excuse for it,” Pete said, hurt. “She’s my mother, too.” He looked out the window at the row of cars sitting idle in the lanes beside them. Of course there would be traffic when they had to be somewhere. “Now Mom’s in the hospital, and…” Tears welled up. He wouldn’t think the worst. His emotions were still too raw from Keke’s rejection to take more pain—especially not this kind.
“You’re right, there’s no excuse.”
His head snapped to her. “When would you have told me? After she died?”
Bertie winced. She shook her head.
He laughed derisively. “How am I supposed to believe that? What other secrets are you keeping from me?”
He saw something cross her face. She opened her mouth, closed it, and looked away. “You do know something, and you’re keeping it from me. Again,” he said accusatorially. “Roberta, you are—”
“Keke likes you,” she said simply. “A lot.”
Pete didn’t finish his thought. He started a new one. “Oh, really? Because she just rejected me. So, she must not like me that much.” He slammed his foot into the floor, grateful he wasn’t driving. He’d have rammed the car in front of them.
“I told her about Mom, and she was the one that said I should tell you. So, yeah, I screwed up. I’m also the reason you’re not with Keke.”
“Explain.”
“We made a pact a long time ago. She agreed never to like you. It wasn’t hard at the time. And we were just stupid kids. Anyway, after I promised Mom not to tell you about her illness, I thought it was best to protect you—from everything, I guess. I knew you liked her, and I didn’t want you to be rejected.” Her face fell, as did the tears down her cheeks.
“I didn’t think you could handle it. The pressure. Dad was already giving you so much. Then Keke was rethinking our pact, and since she knew about Mom, I wanted her to just stay away from you.”
“All of you orchestrating my life,” Peter breathed after a few minutes of silence. He couldn’t wrap his head around Bertie’s confession. The women in his life he trusted the most, keeping things from him because they thought he’d be better off.
That he was still the silly kid everyone could pick on. That he wasn’t a man who’d grown up right before their eyes.
“I know… It was wrong. But Mom…wanted you to pursue your dreams without staying behind because of her. She didn’t want to be another anchor. Dad weighs you down enough.”
Pete nodded. He couldn’t really fault her for that. She was his mother. Despite being completely eclipsed by her husband’s parenting style, Pete believed his mom did want the best for him. She didn’t know about Warp Entertainment’s offer, but he’d tell her today. If she was really… Pete blinked hard a few times. If Mom was really dying, then he wanted her to know that he was going to pursue his dreams.
“How is she really?” Pete asked softly.
Bertie took the exit for the hospital. “Not good. The doctors weren’t entirely sure if it was terminal, but Mom knew. She’s felt like her body has been shutting down for about a week now.”
Pete put his head in his hands. This whole week he’d been focused on getting a girl to like him, and his mom was literally dying. His body shuddered, and he fought against the overwhelming desire to break down. He couldn’t. Not now. Not when he didn’t know how much time he had left with his mother. He had to be strong; if not for himself, then for her. He had to prove to everyone that he wasn’t some pansy that couldn’t handle life.
Bertie rubbed his back. “We’re here.”
Pete sniffed and rubbed the tears out of his eyes. Within minutes, a nurse showed them to their mother’s room. Pete’s insides caved. His mother looked like a shell of what she had been earlier that week. Face pale and cheeks sunken, she had probably lost ten or fifteen pounds.
“She’s very weak, but her pulse and vitals have been steady,” the nurse said quietly. “She’s been sleeping for about an hour.”
Bertie and Pete nodded in silence.
“I’ll page the doctor and have him come talk to you. Okay?”
The nurse left. Bertie and Pete looked at each other.
“It was this bad?” Pete asked.
Bertie shook her head. “I saw her a couple of days ago. She looked…pale, but in high spirits.”
“Was she staying at the camp?”
“No. She was going home at night so she could go to the doctor’s early in the morning.”
“Does Dad know?”
Bertie blasted a breath through her lips. “No. He got mad when she told him she was going to stay at home, and I don’t think they’ve spoken in days.”
“He’s got to know. How can he not know?”
Their mother stirred and opened her eyes. “Oh, hey, kids. Hey, Petey.” She extended her hand. Pete took it gently. More bony than usual, but warm. She held on tightly. “I guess Bertie told you, huh?”
“You could’ve trusted me,” Pete gently chastised. “I can handle it.” He sat on the edge of her bed.
“I was afraid to, honey. I know how stressed you’ve been with the camp and your father hounding you about school and getting you out of the house.”
“I’m not going, Mom.”
“Not going?” Bertie said with surprise.
Pete kept his eyes on his mother. “I’ve got a company interested in my designs. My phone app that I’ve been working on? It’s going to be big, Mom. They’re flying me out to Silicon Valley next week.”
Bertie gasped. His mother smiled. “I always knew you’d turn out okay. Never doubted. You’re just not your father, and that’s okay. Silicon… You’re going to be rich!”
Pete laughed. “It hasn’t happened yet, Mom.”
“Oh, tush. They’re flying you out. They are courting you, and don’t you forget it. Get a job out there while you’re at it. Then I want you to call me from your expensive condo that overlooks the ocean. Will you do that for me? Will you send me pictures of the ocean?”
“He’ll be too busy studying.” Titus’s voice came from the door. With a stone-like face, he walked in as his equally inexpressive gaze took in his wife in the bed.
The doctor came in from behind him. “I’m assuming this is everyone?”
“Judith? What’s wrong with my wife?” Titus’s voice rose. He faced the doctor with hands on hips.
“She’s suffering from an aggressive cancer.”
“Cancer?” Titus whirled.
Pete stood quickly, shielding his mother.
“She’s weak today, but her vitals are steady,” the doctor continued. “I’m afraid to say that…it is terminal.”
“Doctor says I have a couple of weeks at the most,” she said.
“Oh, Mom!” Bertie threw herself onto the bed, weeping against her mother’s chest.
Mom just wrapped her arms around Bertie and rubbed her hair, whispering into her ear.
“Weeks?” Titus repeated. His gaze vaulted between the doctor and his wife.
“It’s all right, Titus,” Judith said. “I got to see my babies grow up; that’s what’s important. I won’t be there for weddings and grandchildren, but I know you three will be okay.”
The doctor exited the room. Titus took a seat opposite the bed, his gaze on the floor.
Judith’s gaze moved from Pete to Titus. Her encouraging smile bolstered Pete’s confidence.
“Dad, I’m not going to Cornell,” he said bluntly. Titus didn’t look up. “Warp Entertainment is flying me out next week to discuss a contract for my phone app.”
“It’s going to be worth millions,” Judith added with a chuckle. “Can you believe it, Titus?”
“They’ve hinted at giving me a senior developer job,” Pete continued. His father’s silence enabled the words to flow. Finally it was out in the open.
“Picture it, Titus. Our boy working in Silicon Valley! Ah… I wish I could be there with you, Peter. See the ocean, see the shiny building you’ll be working in.”
Pete chuckled. “I don’t know if it’s shiny.”
“It’s Silicon Valley. Of course it’s shiny.”
“You’re going to Cornell,” came Titus’s strained voice. He stood, his gaze intense. “You’re going to live the life I never got to.”
“Titus!” Judith cried.
“No, Mom.” Pete squeezed her hand. “It’s okay. Dad, I am living the life you never got to. It’s just not the one you want me to live. I’m doing things my way,” he said with emphasis, a finger pointing to his chest. “I’m not you, never will be. I’m an app developer and really good at it, too. Maybe I’ll go to college one day, or maybe I won’t. But at least the decision will be mine.”
“You’ll be living your dream,” Judith said wistfully. “That’s all we can ask.”
Titus harrumphed. “We can ask a lot more since they’re our kids.”
“Titus!” Judith groaned and closed her eyes.
“Mom!” Bertie nearly screamed.
“I’m okay, just tired. No need for hysterics.” Eyes still closed, she smiled and rubbed Bertie’s back. “You too, Bertie.”
“Huh?”
Judith opened her eyes. “Live your dreams, too. You don’t know how long you’ll have. One day, life will tell you it’s coming to an end, and you’ll wish you’d done things differently.”
Bertie bit her lip and looked away.
“You’re saying you wished things were different?” Titus asked gruffly. “The life we’ve built?”
“Yes,” was all Judith said.
Titus stormed out of the room. Judith sighed. “I won’t say I never should’ve married him because then I never would’ve had you two.” She squeezed their hands. “I was young and in love. Stupid, really.
Don’t be stupid.” Her eyes grew intense, her hands squeezing tightly. Her voice came out strangled. “Follow your hearts, but let your head get a word in from time to time.”
Later when their mother had fallen asleep, Bertie and Pete headed back home to pack a bag of things their mother wanted. She would soon be moved to hospice care before transitioning back home.
“You think Dad is going to help us?” Bertie asked.
“I don’t know,” Pete answered. “He’s probably back at the campground. Kids are leaving tomorrow.”
Bertie sighed. “I’m glad this week is over.”
“You should come out to California with me next week. Go to school there. Find a job you’ll enjoy. Dad is fine on his own, I think.”
Bertie’s sideways glance was full of judgment. “How can you suggest that? His wife is dying.”
“And he didn’t seem to care! All he could talk about was me going to Cornell. Did you see him comfort his wife? Because I didn’t.”
“He’s probably in denial! He’ll lose her and his kids in…in a month, maybe? What do you think that’ll do to him? Cornell is the only thing he thinks he can control.”
“So, you’re going to stay? And do what?”
Bertie shrugged. “Help him run the camp. At least until he can hire more people or figure out what he wants to do.”
“Then what,” Pete asked pointedly. “You gonna do what Mom said?”
Bertie shook her head. “I…I don’t know.”
“Bertie, now’s the time to do it. You don’t have to be what Dad says. Whatever it is you want to do, you can do it.”
“I’ll think about it.”
Pete huffed.
“I said I’ll think about it.” She shoved his shoulder.
Pete knew his sister well enough. Bertie would remain at the camp, running it, half-living. She’d be miserable but not enough to break free. He felt sorry for her. She never seemed to be the type to cave under pressure. He thought she was Keke’s twin.