by P.J. Lowry
It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what Hayden had meant when he wrote down 'have a catch with Dad' but she was afraid that would simply be too simple. It wasn't that she didn't know how to throw a baseball; she grew up with a house full of men. She played catch and baseball all the time and loved the game. She was just worried that there was something deeper to this and wanted to make sure she wasn't biting off more than she could chew without knowing it. To prevent that, Lizzy decided to call a reliable source to get some inside intel. She picked up the phone and decided to badger her favourite whipping boy of the Sheppard family.
“Hello Liz.” David said as he answered his cell. “I'm in the process of staking out a place where the bad guys are so if my line goes dead, don't take it personally. Okay?”
“Understood,” Lizzy replied, “I need some help with some information about Dad.”
“Yours or mine?” David asked to narrow down the field.
“That would be yours,” Lizzy confirmed with a laugh, “It says here on the list that Hayden wanted to have a catch with Dad.”
“Awww son of a bitch!” David cussed over the phone, “Does it really say that?”
“It does.” Lizzy said, somewhat concerned. “Is everything okay?”
“I had forgotten all about it until you said it.” David said as he shifted in his seat and got comfortable.
“I don’t like the sound of this.” Lizzy admitted.
“Hayden and Dad had a falling out about baseball when he was in his mid teens,” David started to explain, “Around the same time that Hermy disappeared so the guilt from that might have lead to the frustration that caused this incident with Dad. Hayden and Dad always had two or three catches a week, just tossing the ball around. Hayden had a killer arm and he was actually considered to have potential to go pro. Well Dad tried to encourage him as much as he could to join baseball teams and what not, but Hayden started to refuse. He just wanted to have his catch with Dad and that was it. It led to some ugly fights.”
“So what happened then?” Lizzy asked.
“Hayden stopping having a catch with Dad after they had a huge fight,” David replied, “Lots of four letter words, sharp digs at each other and we're all surprised that fists were not tossed during the altercation.”
“That doesn't sound like Dad.” Lizzy said.
“I know!” David concurred, “How do you think we felt? We were shocked!”
“So did you ever find out what it was about?” Lizzy asked, somewhat curious to what would cause that to happen.
“I have no idea.” David answered, “And I knew better not to ask.”
“So what should I do then?” Lizzy asked. She really didn’t want to upset Hayden's Dad but at the same time she wanted to respect Hayden's requests.
“I have an idea.” David answered with a sigh, “This might work...”
Lizzy spent the next twenty minutes listening to David detail what she should do and it was a good plan. So good, she was actually convinced it might work. So later that day she got into her car and drove out to Hayden's old childhood home. When she knocked on the door for what was one of many times, Mr. Sheppard was all smiles again as he realized who had come to visit.
“You know,” he started with a wide grin, “If you keep coming over this often I might as well give you your own key.”
“I already have one,” Lizzy confessed, “I just feel it's more polite to announce yourself when you arrive so no one is startled.”
“That's my Liz,” Mr. Sheppard said with a smile, “Always considerate.”
“Well, you might not think so when you find out why I'm here.” Lizzy said with an innocent smile. “I need to have a serious talk with you. Can we talk in the backyard?”
“Of course,” Mr. Sheppard said as they both walked through the house and into the back porch. He seemed a little concerned by the tone that Lizzy had suddenly started talking with. “Is everything all right?”
“Everything is fine. I just wanted to let you in on a secret.” Lizzy replied. “I've been doing a lot of cool and very kind things over the last several months, but they have not been my ideas. I stole all these suggestions from someone else.”
“But you still did them.” Mr. Sheppard said again like he said when Lizzy came to pick up his wife for the concert, “It doesn't matter if your idea was originally thought by you or not. Your intention was to follow through with them and because of that a lot of people are for the better. So whose ideas were they then?”
“Hayden's,” Lizzy said as she pulled out a copy of the list and handed it over to the old man for him to inspect.
Mr. Sheppard took the list from Lizzy and took a deep breath when he realized what it was, that being the last thirty things his son wanted to do before he died. He read the entire list a few times and Lizzy could tell he has some questions. “How many of these did he complete before he passed away?”
“Only the first four,” Lizzy replied, “I've been doing the rest every since I found this list. Three months after Hayden had died.”
Mr. Sheppard's eyes were watering as he read the list over again and he giggled a little when he came across one of them, “How is ol' Wyatt doing?”
“He's awesome.” Lizzy said with a smile. “I never wanted to own a dog, ever. I fought Hayden tooth and nail to never have any dogs, but now that I have Wyatt I can't picture life without the little bugger.”
“They have a habit of doing that.” Mr. Sheppard said with a chuckle. “Which item are you on right now?”
“Number seventeen.” Lizzy answered.
“I see.” Mr. Sheppard said as he looked at the item and this time a tear fell down his check. “I don't know if I can do this.”
“Why not?” Lizzy said.
“I only have one glove in the shed. Hayden took his with him when he moved out.” Mr. Sheppard said with a soft smile. “I have never said no to any of my children when they asked for a catch. Do you honestly think I was going to refuse my favourite daughter-in-law?”
“Then I suggest you get your glove.” Lizzy said with a smile of her own. She reached behind her and pulled out something that was stuffed halfway into her jeans. “I have my own glove.”
Mr. Sheppard ran off to the shed and came back out with a ball and a glove. They made sure there was an acceptable amount of space between then, around twenty to twenty five feet. He tossed the ball over to Lizzy. “Do we need to get a little closer for you?” he asked trying to be polite.
Lizzy responded by hurling the ball over her shoulder perfectly and with enough velocity that it slapped Mr. Sheppard's hand when it came into his glove. “Nope, I'm okay.”
“Owwww!” Mr. Sheppard said as he needed a moment to wave his hand around to get the throbbing sensation out of it. “Damn girl! You've got one hell of an arm!” He said with a shocked look on his face. “Forget throwing like a girl; you throw like Randy Johnson!”
A few moments later Mr. Sheppard put the glove back on and they started to toss the ball back and forth. Lizzy used to do this all the time with her own Dad and brothers so this was second nature to her and she really enjoyed doing this for Mr. Sheppard and for Hayden. She didn't want to push her luck and try to talk about the last time Mr. Sheppard had a catch with Hayden and left it to him to dictate where their talking would go. Her goal was just to have a catch with Dad, not talk to him about why it took so long to have another. A few more tosses in, Mr. Sheppard felt like talking.
“It's nice to know Hayden still wanted to have a catch,” He started, “I was afraid he was never going to ask again.”
“David told me what happened,” Lizzy called back, “But he didn’t have too many details about it.”
“We had a big fight a few years before and it was about baseball.” Mr. Sheppard continued, “He had a better arm than you did, and I was pulling some strings to get him a team scholarship from a school that one of my friends was a graduate of. It paid most of the bills and gave him a cha
nce to try out for college ball, which could have led to a career in the majors. I wanted him to use his talent to have an easier life, but he didn't want to do that. The night we had that big fight I'm sure one of my kids has likely told you already about was the night he told me he wasn't going to college. He was going to apply to become a fireman and I just thought he was throwing his talent away. It's not that I had anything against firemen but I wanted my son to life a good life, an easy life and he chose to make his own path. It took me a while to get over it but I did. Hayden was a good fireman, and he proved me wrong about his true talents.”
“He did,” Lizzy said as she came up and gave Hayden's Dad a big hug, “It's not wrong to encourage your children to be ambitious but when they make up their mind, we have a tendency to be stubborn until everything is carried out.”
“I didn't want him to toss away something that came so naturally to him for something that was so dangerous. Every time he went out to the firehouse, I was afraid it would be his last and one day that came true.” He couldn't stop crying now. “He could have had a better life, and I wasn't strong enough to push him in the right direction.”
“But it wasn't your job to pick his path, merely to show him what options that he had.” Lizzy said trying to console him. “He made his own choice. It was not your fault that he died in the fire, he made the decision to fight fires and help people in need. That was his calling and he's the one to blame for it, no one else.”
“I know.” he said as he wiped a new tear from his face. “I just never had a chance to apologize for what I had said that night.”
“You did,” Lizzy corrected, “You said it to him every day you showed support for his choices in life and when you bragged about what an awesome and courageous fireman your son was to anyone who could hear it. I remember you talking about how he was the best, and we both know he was, and every time he heard you say that... that was your apology. You were proud of your son and the decisions he made. Hayden had no regrets and there are hundreds of people he pulled out of burning buildings that are happy he turned down the chance to play baseball in college.”
“I know. So many people were saved by that amazing kid of mine.” Mr. Sheppard said as he beamed with pride. “He made the ultimate sacrifice for those who needed help in their time of crisis. That boy did me proud.”
“He made us all proud and he knew it.” Lizzy pointed back at the list, “He wanted to have one more catch and I'm glad that I was able to do it for him.” She gave her father-in-law a big hug and he wrapped his arms around her and wouldn't let go as if it was his son he was hugging for the very last time.
“I'm so sorry.” he said out loud.
“I know.” Lizzy said as she finally came out for air, “And so does Hayden.” she looked over Mr. Sheppard's shoulder for a few seconds. “Can we get a few more tosses before the sun goes down?”
Mr. Sheppard smiled, “I really hope this is the first of many catches.” he said as he backed up thirty feet this time to go easy on his hand. The resumed tossing the ball around for another twenty minutes until the sun went down. Mr. Sheppard also got his wish as it was the first of many catches Lizzy came over to have with his Dad.