“Well!” Dr. Shepard said, a little too excited for Tina’s comfort, “This is a surprise!”
Dr. Shepard explained that the teacher they’d assigned had recently accepted a Dean’s position at a university in Arkansas.
“So,” he concluded, “I’ve been asked to take over this night class for the semester. Now, I admit I’ve never taught before, but I’m pretty confident that we can all find our feet together, since most of you probably have never taken a psychology class before.”
His words were met with friendly chuckles, most placating him for his nervous quip. Even Tina gave a chuckle. Distracted by Dr. Shepard’s poor attempt at levity, Tina could still feel Devin’s eyes on her. She turned toward him and met his gaze. Tina had always been nervous about new people, making new friends and opening up to others. Until now, Devin had been different. Now, she was uneasy. She was confused by Devin’s appearance, his demeanor and his overall aura. She couldn’t explain it, but something felt very un-Devin.
CHAPTER 15
UNEASY
It wasn’t easy for Tina to shake the feeling that something was amiss with Devin Something just had not felt right all evening. She was intent on listening to Dr. Shepard, despite his insistence that the lecture be more of a class discussion. Devin seemed more interested in staring at her expressionless, as if trying to peer deep into her soul. Several times, Tina would meet Devin’s gaze only to have him smile a weird, twisted grin. It wasn’t as comforting as it had previously been.
Very un-Devin.
After class Tina gathered her books and headed toward Dr. Shepard. She was intent on letting Devin leave without her, even if it meant socializing with her future employer. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Devin as he walked past her toward the hallway.
“So, how’d I do? Not bad for a man who’s never taught, eh?” Dr. Shepard quipped.
“Pretty good,” Tina said, still feeling a bundle of nerves knotted tightly in her stomach.
“Pretty good?” Dr. Shepard asked, perhaps feigning indignation.
Finally, Tina gave a small grin. “Not bad for an old man.”
Dr. Shepard laughed. “Well, Tina, it was sure good to see a familiar face. Made it much easier time for me.”
Tina just nodded.
“Anxious about tomorrow?” Dr. Shepard asked.
Tina shrugged. “Maybe a little.”
“Well,” Dr. Shepard said, “don’t be. Actually, tomorrow’s a slow day. I’m only scheduled to see one patient, so it should give us plenty of time to get you oriented.”
One patient? Why even bother to work? Seemed like a waste of time to her.
Oh well, she told herself. Not my job.
* * *
More time had passed than Tina realized. She’d stood talking to Dr. Shepard for nearly 15 minutes after everyone cleared out. When she finally looked at her watch, they bid their farewells and Tina headed off to her car.
Inside the dimly lit hall, Tina felt as if she was walking through nothing. Literally the absence of everything seemed to surround her. No sounds except the squeal of her rubber soles against the floor and the distant jingle of Dr. Shepard’s keys as he locked up. No light except the moonlight shining through a window at either end of the hall. No people. No Devin.
As she made her way to the stairwell, she found the bottom floor as lifeless as the top floor had been, if vaguely better lit. She thought of the young man in the wheelchair and wondered what had happened with him. She thought of Dr. Shepard, tomorrow and anything she could conjure to occupy her mind from her confused feelings toward Devin Snow. Tonight, he became like all the others. As she reflected, she realized that she had fooled herself into thinking he was ever any different. Girls, smooth talk, mystery, lies! He was just like every other person on the planet.
Unreliable. Untrustworthy. Untrue.
As she exited the Student Services building, she was startled by a figure lurking in the darkness. Devin, a zombie countenance about him, emerged from the shadows, scaring the very wits out of her. He was silent at first, only staring. She stepped to the left, he stepped in front of her. She stepped to the right, he moved in kind. His smile was evermore un-Devin.
“I’m going home,” she whispered. Maybe whimpered would be the better word, as her words contained more fear than she had intended.
Her insides shook.
“What’s wrong?” Devin asked. It was his voice, but it wasn’t him. Un-Devin.
“I have to get up early,” she said, again attempting to step to the right. Devin finally let her pas but kept pace with her, as she walked to her car. Once more, her insides shook.
“Sleep, Baby.”
Tina heard the voice as clear as day, but it wasn’t Devin. It was inside her own head. Or inside her own…being?
Her eyes hurt. They began to drain like faucets, tears of pain pouring from them. Tina thrust her hands to her temples, pressing the meaty palm into her sockets.
Blinking away crackling stars, she kept walking. Had it been within her, she would have squashed her throbbing cranium, stopping the pain at the source. Blinking away tears, her car finally came into focus.
A twinge of pain shot through her neck, throwing her off balance. She rocked forward, felt something catch her as she teetered backwards. Devin.
As quickly as the sensation of Devin’s hands registered, it dissipated beneath a terrifying numbness worming its way down her shoulders, into her hands and fingers.
Her eyes filled with tears again and she could see nothing else.
And the voices!
Over and over again, she heard the voice. It was her own voice but, somehow not hers. Un-Tina. Something inside telling her to get away. Willing a sense of normalcy into her, enough to allow her escape. She could not feel her legs, so she wasn’t sure when she had steadied herself and wrestled free from Devin’s grip. In her pain-gripped stupor, time meant nothing. Staggering toward her car, Tina looked back, blinking away floods of tears. Her eyes blurred, she thought she saw a figure crouched several feet away, arms raised in the air. The creepy lavender lamplight bathed the figure in light. Still she could not confirm it was Devin.
When she finally made it to her car, she wiped her eyes, started the engine and raced for the back streets. She’d taken the main highway to college, but chose to vary her routine headed home. Though her head was still pounding, she decided not to go straight home.
“Breathe,” Tina whispered aloud. “Just breathe, Tina.”
She thought about what had just happened. The entire night was beyond weird. Suddenly feeling lost, she looked at the digital clock in her dash. It read 9:56.
In a moment of paranoia, Tina checked the rearview mirror. Nothing. Nobody was following her.
Tina was relieved.
CHAPTER 16
BURNING
Tina decided to go through the drive-thru at Little John’s Burger Hut. It was a small, family-owned place, but it had fresh-cut fries to die for. They were served with this creamy cheese sauce for dipping – or ranch if you preferred, but she preferred the cheese sauce. And the fountain drinks were legendary, at least to Tina. She had few memories of childhood but, for some reason, this place seemed to remind her of her youth. Or maybe it was just symbolic of a youth that existed only in her dreams. She wasn’t sure, but Little John’s was comforting. She knew greasy junk food was bad for her, but she’d grown to make a few allowances. Even in Tina’s strict existence, she managed to find time for simple pleasures, rare as those moments might be.
Tina ordered a Jumbo fries and extra-large Coke. She thought about ordering some chicken pieces, but decided the fries were enough.
Paying the cashier, she rolled up the window. The smell of warm cheese sauce covered even the scent of greasy salt-laden potatoes. Tina pulled around and found an empty spot in the far side of Little John’s parking lot. She arranged her fries pouring them onto the paper sack, flattened in her lap. The cheese sauce steamed when she removed t
he plastic lid. Just the way she liked it. She blew on it to cool it just a tad.
With every bite, Tina felt more at ease. She sighed a couple of times as she ate, realized it was too quiet in the car. The silence inside her head had grown even more deafening than the voices had been.
She turned on the radio. Her usual station was playing some song she’d never heard. After only a couple bars Tina decided it wasn’t her taste. She pressed the scan button, picked up a fry, dipped it, shoved it in her mouth without blowing. Quickly, she grabbed her drink, sucking in the cooling liquid. She wanted to cuss but resisted the urge. Washing her tongue over the roof of her mouth, she was surprised to find she had not burned the skin off of it.
The next radio station her scan stopped on was a country station. It had just started a song by Garth Brooks. A huge hit for the country legend, it wasn’t one of Tina’s favorites, but it did come with a positive message about daring to try life outside of one’s comfort zone. She’d heard it a few times and felt an odd kinship with it. Perhaps, she often surmised, that was why she did not favor the song too highly. Tina often questioned how she lived life. If her life of self-imposed solitude was little more than her way of standing outside the fire, so to speak. Of avoiding the true experience of Life. Avoiding all that Life had to offer. She often wondered if, by building so many walls, she had, in effect, prevented herself from really trying life. Had the walls erected to keep people at a safe distance actually been her prison? The most secure castle can, if we let it, become the darkest of tombs.
As the song ended, Tina finished off the last of her fries. She started the car and shifted into reverse. As she turned to look behind her, she was startled by a loud thumping noise on the hood of her car. She screamed, jumped so violently as to bump her head on the roof. As her pained vision cleared, she directed her gaze just in time to see a large gray cat scampering down her hood and off into the night. She could only guess where it came from, but she was in no mood to play guessing games with the long-gone beast.
* * *
The beeping machines told of the life that was flowing weak through Jason Brenton’s body. He was awake, but he was without strength. Without understanding. His voice was shallow, almost non-existent, but his voice need only be strong enough to be heard by his companion, solitude. How he longed for his brother, James. James would understand.
Jason heard a door creak. He turned his head just as James’ face emerged from behind the door.
“Hey!” James whispered, excitement filling his smile.
“Hey,” Jason mouthed in return. He wasn’t sure if he’d made a sound or if the noises had been only in his head.
“How you feelin’, bub?” James asked.
When they were little, James had always referred to Jason has “Bubba”. Somewhere along the way, it was shortened to “Bub”. And it stuck. Of course, James was nice enough to spare his little brother embarrassment that would have arisen from using the nickname around Ric and the guys. Secretly, Jason wished it would slip out around them just once if only so the others would, in their teasing, be envious of the relationship he had with his older brother.
James set a plastic cup on the night table beside Jason’s bed. Jason could smell the strong odor of coffee. It made his stomach turn just a little. Probably the drugs, Jason thought. The smell of coffee was usually one of Jason’s favorite. He’d never liked the taste, but he’d always gotten an interesting rush from the fumes radiating from a cup of piping hot java.
“Brought you some water,” James offered, showing another plastic cup Jason hadn’t noticed. “Figured you’d be thirsty.”
Jason nodded. His mouth was incredibly dry.
James helped him sit up in the bed, held the narrow straw while Jason drank. He thought himself parched, but could only manage a few sips before growing too tired to drink more. White hot pain surged though his leg when he shifted position. He grimaced.
James put a hand on Jason’s forehead and softly admonished him to stay as still as possible. James checked the stitching just to make sure it was intact. The bruising was profound. Even from his position, partially blocked by blankets and James’ head, Jason could make out extensive bruising near where the cuts had been made.
Cuts had been made. It sounded so weak to say it that way. He had made the cuts and he knew it. But perhaps his passivity of voice was the first step in healing. In moving past what had been done. Or, yeah, maybe it was just another in a recent string of weak moments to be added to the growing list.
Below the knee, parts of his leg were numb. Whether by the damage he’d caused or by the doctor’s medication, he didn’t know, but it was alarming just the same. Still, thoughts raced through his drugged out mind. Would he ever walk again? Would the feeling ever return? Would he have a limp? Do bees have knees?
The voices. Ric. Screaming!
The Light.
Death. The Light. Voices.
Blood.
Leaking Life
Death must come.
Jason’s heart raced.
He screamed. This time, it was not in his head. He screamed and he heard. It.
Jason Brenton had screamed.
* * *
When his brother screamed, James didn’t know what to do. It was the first time in days the boy had managed anything more than a broken whisper. This was not the way James imagined his brothers virtual silence would break.
James grabbed his brother’s arm. Through contorting joints, flailing limbs and twitching muscles, had Jason not been screaming, he would have appeared to have been in the throes of a severe seizure.
“No!” Jason shouted, over and over again.
“Jason!” He tried desperately to calm his brother. “It’s okay, Bub! I’m here! Jason, it’s me. I’m here. Try and calm down, Bub! It’s okay!”
Letting go of Jason’s flailing body, James pressed the call button, urgently.
Within seconds, two nurses and a male orderly walked into the room, unsuspecting. As ignorant as James to what might have set Jason into such a fit.
The orderly told James to step aside, moved in to try and steady Jason’s arms. The second nurse ran into the hall, just outside the room, to retrieve a syringe from the cart sitting near the door. Poking the needle into a vial of transparent pinkish liquid, the nurse filled the syringe, cleared it, walked back into Jason’s room.
The orderly, still holding Jason’s arms, turned and looked at James.
“Get his legs! He will tear his stitches!”
James reached for his brother’s thrashing legs. The screams subsided, even before the sedative could be administered. When it was clear the boy was no longer resisting, James and the orderly let go of him.
“Oh my God!” the younger nurse shrieked, rushing to James’ side, “You’re bleeding!”
James looked down and noticed his shirt covered in blood. He was pretty sure Jason had not kicked him or scratched him in any way. Instinct directed his eyes toward Jason’s legs. Just as he feared, the stitches had torn open.
The blood-soaked sheet was worse than anything Jason had seen in his short career as a policeman.
He fainted.
* * *
Tina could see the smoke the moment she turned onto her street. Her insides shook. Tina’s mind rocked with a premonition that it was her house ablaze. She didn’t waste time trying to figure out how she knew.
She sped up, only to be almost instantly halted by an onslaught of police and firefighters. She saw a couple of neighbors standing in their yards, awestruck by the towering flames. For a moment, Tina felt crushed under the magnificent wall of fire that raged before her. She didn’t think of the mementos that essentially meant nothing. For some reason, her thoughts ran to her parents. She thought of the shadows in which her mind held them. The shadows not even this towering inferno could illuminate. How her memory had faded in such a short time. Or had it ever been there in the first place?
Tina had no time to resolve her quandary. As
she pulled her car to the curb, she was approached by two people identifying themselves as police officers. She wasn’t sure she believed them, but in the last few seconds, everything she’d ever known and believed had come crashing down. Inside, Tina felt as if she herself might crumble.
“Tina Miles?” The male officer asked.
“Yes,” she managed, “I’m Tina. That’s…”
She couldn’t finish.
“That’s your house?” The male officer confirmed. Tina recognized the female officer as her neighbor.
“I’m Detective Lisa Warner,” she said, obviously catching Tina’s focused gaze. “This is my partner, Detective Alex Mendez.”
“I know you,” Tina said, still fixated on Lisa.
“Yes,” Lisa acknowledged. “I live across the street.”
The male officer interrupted.
“Miss Miles, would you mind if I asked you where you’ve been tonight?”
* * *
Alex was being so formal with the girl, Tina. Lisa thought seriously about pulling him to the side and asking him to lighten up, but she knew it was just the policeman in him. He had to do his job and couldn’t let emotion stand in the way. Any other time, Lisa might actually find this side of Alex undeniably attractive. Still, there was something about the girl that awoke the most maternal side in Lisa.
Just something about her that makes me want to hug this gal!
“Miss Miles, would you mind if I asked where you were tonight?”
Tina didn’t immediately answer Alex’s question. Her gaze turned from Lisa to the ball of flame engulfing what was certainly a lifetime of memories.
When Alex cleared his throat, Tina finally turned her attention back to the questioning officers.
“Miss Miles,” Alex began again.
“Tina,” she whispered.
“Tina,” Lisa interrupted, hoping to redirect the questioning to a lighter tone. “I know this must be difficult for you, but can you tell us your whereabouts this evening?”
“Yeah,” Tina said. She began to sob. “Yes, I was—”
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