Watching him, marveling in the perfection of his chiseled features and lean body, I began to feel the first laps of warmth pump through my veins.
Jace’s lips twisted into a small smile, and he opened his eyes to meet mine. “Remember to relax.”
I nodded in response just as the warmth filled me completely and began to make my head feel fuzzy. Enjoying the moment, I forgot what came next—the burning sensation. Anxiety began to build around my heart as I felt the first sting of the burn that I knew was about to consume my body. A tiny shriek of pain escaped from my parted lips as I tried to remember if it had hurt as badly last time.
“Breathe and remember you have to relax. You don’t want to fight it,” Jace muttered just before his skin began to ripple. “I’m right here with you. You’re going to be fine.”
I closed my eyes once I felt the first little bit of stiffness enter my muscles and struggled to keep my breathing even. Panic shifted to paranoia as I realized the burning sting still hadn’t gone away. It had only become intensified. My eyes snapped open to find Jace had already transformed. His eyes, filled with human emotion, reflected back horror at my fear. I was sure he could clearly hear the erratic pounding of my heart.
A muffled cry escaped me as popping noises began to fill my ears—the bones beneath my skin had begun to shift. My heartbeat throbbed through my body as the burning sensation continued to course through my veins, growing stronger by the second and causing tears to swell in my eyes and blur my vision.
The pain became so intense that my legs began to shake and eventually my knees buckled. I folded in half onto the frozen ground, and my body began to twist at odd angles as the ripping and tearing of my muscles and grinding of my bones against one another filled my ears. I opened my mouth, but the pain was so severe my screams were silent.
My back arched involuntarily as the final shifts of bone and muscle gave way. Areas of my skin felt scorched by an invisible flame as blond patches of fur broke through, feeling like porcupine quills ejecting through my skin from the inside out. A pain near the base of my tailbone blinded me. I could feel my skin there stretching and pulling against itself to form a tail.
And then it stopped.
All of the pain, the burning, everything—it faded away to nothing. My lungs struggled to pull in large, greedy gulps of air while I remained lying motionless against the icy ground.
Oh, god, are you okay? Jace’s voice sounded in my head.
I could hear his concern, his worry; it flowed over me like rushing water. Slowly I lifted my head and brought my eyes to his. He lay down beside me and nuzzled my neck with the tip of his nose.
I fought it. I didn’t mean to. I tried to relax, but I couldn’t… I panicked. It hurt, Jace… it hurt so bad. Wetness fell from my eyes, dampening my fur.
I’m so sorry. That happened to me once. I know exactly the type of pain you felt. It’s nothing I would wish on anyone.
I leaned into him, allowing myself a few moments to let the shock and fresh memory of the pain fade from my mind. An icy drop of wetness touched the tip of my nose, forcing my eyes open again. It was snowing.
Tiny snowflakes fell from the darkened sky, each made up of glimmering ice crystals attached together beautifully. I’d never seen anything so captivating before.
Beautiful, isn’t it? Jace asked as he pulled away.
Yes, amazing, I whispered.
Are you ready to hunt? I’m sure your body really needs it, he insisted in a tender tone.
Dread filled me. What if I passed out or vomited this time, too? I stood and realized for the first time that I was fully changed. There were no more patches of bare skin, and I no longer stood on goofy looking hind legs. I was on all fours and covered with a beautiful coat of dark-blond fur.
I’m a wolf! A full wolf! I shouted.
Jace responded with a chuckle that echoed through my mind. I told you this time you would change fully. And I must say, you’re just as beautiful in this form as you are in your human form.
You mean my half form, right?
Any form you’re in is beautiful to me, Tessa. When are you going to realize this?
I laughed and sprinted into a run, wanting to test my full speed and put this embarrassment-inducing conversation topic behind us. Jace was beside me, matching my stride perfectly in seconds. Barreling through the darkened woods at a speed I’d never been able to touch before, happiness bubbled within me and a rush of energy surged through me. This was the speed Jace had talked about.
The snowflakes grew larger in size and began sticking to the ground beneath me. I could feel them freezing into my fur, forming icy clusters. The pain I’d felt when changing had completely disappeared from my mind as I stared at the beauty that surrounded me.
Something scurried across the ground to my left. My eyes zeroed in through the tangled bare-branched brush onto the animal making the noise. It was a raccoon.
Go get it. I’ll see what I can find for myself, Jace said before soundlessly walking away.
I hunkered my head down and allowed instinct to take over. Before I realized what I’d done, the raccoon was between my paws and I was devouring it. Once I’d finished I noticed the bloody mess that tainted the beautiful snow-covered ground in front of me. Disgust filled me and I shifted away. I began wiping my paws against the ground, struggling to gain control over myself while my mouth filled with saliva and my body attempted to dry heave.
Focusing on the snow falling around me and using each beautiful snowflake as a diversion, I was able to slowly drive my nausea away. The sound of Jace walking toward me caught my attention. I pulled in a few deep breaths in an effort to better calm myself.
Good, you’re all right. I was afraid I’d find you passed out again, he said, his relief evident.
Not this time, I said, unable to keep pride from entering my tone.
Run with me, again. Let’s have some fun, Jace insisted.
Can you keep up with me? I asked with a chuckle, before dashing past him.
We ran until we reached the edge of the three acres behind my house where it touched the McNealy’s yard next door. Skidding to a stop, we sat and stared up at the clouds drifting across the moon.
It was the first night I’d felt relaxed enough in my other form to enjoy it for what it was, and it was the first time I’d ever thought of snow as a beautiful distraction. It had also been the first time I’d ever wished we lived on a larger piece of property.
* * *
“I’m glad you had fun tonight... well, minus the crippling pain while changing part,” Jace whispered as he stood beneath my bedroom window. His hair was wet and slightly curled from the snow.
“I’m glad I did, too.” I nodded before running my fingers through his hair, unable to help myself.
“Come here,” he demanded with the hint of a smile.
I bent down and put my lips to his. Bliss invaded every part of my mind and body.
“Good night, beautiful.” He winked just before popping the screen back into place and jogging out of sight.
“Good night,” I whispered, watching him go.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I missed work the next day. And when I woke there were three missed calls from Dewey, the cook/owner. In his final message he let me know I’d been fired. Apparently I’d been more than unreliable and even when I was there my mind was elsewhere. I couldn’t argue; everything he’d said had been true. But I cringed inside when I thought of what this meant—that my parents would make me work at Flowers and Things until I could find something else.
Rolling over on my side, I stared out my bedroom window at the cloudy, gray sky. I dreaded the moment when my parents found out I’d been fired. But, given the circumstances, I was curious to see if my mother would react as badly as she normally would have now that she knew what I was and everything I’d been going through. There was no doubt in my mind, though, that my dad would be furious.
My cell phone chimed, alerting me of a text. It
was Rachel.
Hey, girl. Wanna hang out with me and Gina today?
Sure. What are you guys doing? ~ Tessa
All I could think of was that it beat sitting around here all day.
We’re heading to Sassy’s Boutique to pick out something super sexy to wear this weekend.
I thought about my white sweat pants and my lacey camisoles. Maybe some true pajama pants or even some cute boy shorts would be better.
When do you guys want me to meet you there? ~ Tessa
We’re leaving McDonald’s right now. We’ll come pick you up.
K. ~ Tessa
I sat my phone down on my nightstand, shocked it was already 1:37 in the afternoon. I’d practically slept the entire day away. No wonder I’d gotten fired.
* * *
“I can’t believe this is the closest thing we have to a lingerie shop in this town.” Rachel grumbled in disgust.
“Oh, wait a minute. Here we go,” Gina said, pointing to a rack near the back. “Look at this little thing.” She squealed, holding up a royal blue see-through tank top and thong set.
“Tessa, this would look awesome on you!” Rachel gushed, holding it up to my chest.
I felt my cheeks catch fire as I shook my head. “Um, no, I don’t think so.”
“Why not? We’re all getting something so it’s not like you’ll be the only one dressed a little provocative,” Gina said, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Oh, my God! Kyle would shit if he saw me in this!” Rachel held up another see-through outfit. It was red, but had a pattern of flames that made it up.
Gina scrunched up her nose and flipped her red hair over her shoulder. “I’m not sure that’s exactly what you want him to do.”
I laughed out loud, and it felt so good. I’d missed this—hanging out with friends, girl time.
“I’m getting this one,” Rachel said, rolling her eyes.
I began leafing through the skimpy outfits that crowded the rack, trying to find one that wasn’t too revealing. A gold camisole with matching boy shorts made out of satin caught my eye.
“How about this one?” I asked, holding it up for them to see.
“Hmm, do they have it in any other colors?” Rachel wondered. “Gold will look good on you, but it just reminds me of something a grandma would wear.”
“I like it. I think it’ll look cute,” Gina said.
“We’re not trying to go for cute. We’re trying to go for sexy and gold is not sexy.”
“Well, they have it in light pink, black, baby blue, and purple. Take your pick, Rachel,” I said, flipping through them all.
“I vote for light pink.” Gina smiled. “With your skin it will look great.”
“Oh, here! This one has satin and lace,” Rachel said, holding up another outfit with lace along the bust line and satin everywhere else. “It comes in light pink and has boy shorts.”
I smiled and took it from her hand. “That’s the one.”
“All right, now that you two have your outfits… let’s find me something,” Gina muttered.
After we left Sassy’s Boutique Rachel insisted that we all head over to Wal-Mart to get nail polish that matched our outfits.
* * *
Later that night I sat at home on the couch watching an old movie called The Craft and wishing Jace had opened my life up to witchcraft instead of werewolfism. Mom sat in the recliner either focusing really hard on her crossword puzzle or really hard on not talking about the full moon last night.
Tires scrunching over random little bits of loose gravel on our concrete driveway caught my attention. Dad was finally home from work. I shifted on the couch and propped my head up with my palm.
“Hey, honey, how was your day?” mom asked without looking up from her crossword puzzle when he came in through the door.
“All right,” he replied, sounding tense. He walked straight to the kitchen and sat his lunch box down on the counter.
“You don’t sound like it was all right. What happened?” mom questioned, concerned.
Dad walked into the living room and stopped in between me and mom. “Well, my day would have been a whole lot better if I hadn’t had to listen to Dewey rant about how irresponsible Tessa has become lately, and how he had no choice but to fire her today. Did you know anything about this, Elizabeth?”
My heart rate spiked. I glanced at my dad, meeting his heated gaze reluctantly.
“Yes, I knew,” mom said, shocking me completely.
“And what, you’re okay with this? I thought we’d agreed that if she wanted to drive a car, then she had to hold a job in order to pay her own gas and part of her insurance.”
“We did,” mom said. I kept my mouth shut, confused by my mother’s calmness, and waited for her to continue. “But sometimes situations change,” she said softly.
“And just what about her situation changed so drastically that would make her getting fired seem okay to you?”
Mom’s eyes flickered to mine, and I swallowed hard wondering if this was the moment when she would reveal everything to him. “Tessa, honey, do you have some place you can spend the night tonight? Rachel’s house maybe?”
“Uh, yeah. I could text her and find out,” I muttered.
“Bill, there’s a lot that we have to talk about tonight,” mom insisted, and I saw my father’s face fall.
Dad swallowed hard, obviously taken aback by her demeanor. “Okay.”
I stood and walked to my bedroom, wondering what sort of things my mother had planned on telling him and how he would take it. From the look on his face, he’d already figured out that it was something horrible.
I sent Rachel a text, asking if I could spend the night at her place, and she responded back instantly with a hell yes! Fifteen minutes later I’d packed myself a duffel bag, switched from sweatpants to jeans, and was pulling out of my driveway headed toward Rachel’s house, wondering what type of home life I’d be returning to tomorrow.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I waited until around 10:00 the next morning before I decided to go back home to pack for my cabin trip, hoping that neither of my parents would be there. When my house came into view I noticed my mom’s van parked in the driveway. Dread filled my stomach as I came to the conclusion last night must not have went so well if mom was saying home from work today.
The front door slowly creaked open into a silent house. Adrenaline laced my veins and the sound of my heart pounding in my ears became deafening. Worry creased my forehead as I wondered what state I’d find my mother in.
A rustling of blankets and a nose being blown into a tissue sounded from down the hall. I tip-toed to my mother’s bedroom door and knocked lightly.
“Mom?” I asked in a hushed whisper.
“Come on in, Tessa.”
Mom was in bed with her blue comforter bunched up underneath her chin and a mountain of used tissues beside her. Her eyes were red and swollen, and her hair was stuck to her face by tears on one side. My heart broke seeing her like this.
“What happened?” I asked hesitantly.
She sat up a little and patted the side of her bed. “Sit.”
I took in a deep breath and moved to sit at the edge of the bed. “Did he leave you or something?” I asked, praying that wasn’t the case.
“No, he just doesn’t know what to think right now. He doesn’t believe me, but then again, why would he? I wouldn’t believe me either if I were him.” She paused to blow her nose one more time. “This is why I never said anything to him.”
“I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“It’s not your fault; you didn’t know anything either. I feel like such a liar.” She sighed.
I shook my head. “Don’t, you had your reasons for not telling either one of us.”
“I sure did.” She frowned.
Minutes ticked away between us while I contemplated what I could say that would make her feel better. And that’s when it came to me—a wild idea that just might fix things be
tween them.
“What if I showed him?” I asked seriously. “It’s the only way to prove to him that what you told him was the truth.”
“No, absolutely not! I don’t want him frightened of you, Tessa. He could react… badly.” She hesitated in her words as though searching for the right ones, ones that wouldn’t hurt my feelings. I was reminded of my talk with Jace.
“He’s not going to hurt me… he’s my father,” I insisted without breaking her stare, because it was true—biological or not, he was still my father. “I can come back after the ceremony and prove it to him.”
I watched as a single tear slid down my mother’s flushed cheek. “I’ll think about it,” she said.
I sat with her for a while longer before finally getting up to gather my things for the cabin trip. After saying a murmured goodbye to her, I climbed back into my car and drove over to Jace’s house to pick him up.
* * *
“You seem on edge. What’s the matter?” Jace asked, throwing his blue Nike duffle bag into the backseat.
“My mom told my dad the truth about me.” I sighed, looking straight ahead and cranking the engine.
“I guess I can understand why she did, but I’m assuming from the look on your face right now that he wasn’t too thrilled with the idea, huh?” Jace said, slipping into the passenger seat beside me.
I shook my head. “Not at all. I’m not sure what he had to say about it. All I know is that he didn’t believe her, and she’s spent the entire day lying in bed crying.”
“I’m sure they’ll work things out. He may never believe her, but I doubt it will be a topic of discussion often,” Jace offered.
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