“I knew you’d look great, so I had to live up to you. Let’s get a drink before dinner.”
At dinner, Allison looked around the table at their companions—three couples of differing ages. After determining that their mother tongues were not English, she attempted to guess their nationalities. The older woman, about sixty, Allison surmised, introduced herself as Marion Russell and said that she was Greek and her husband, English. The cruise was a part of their first trip to the United States. Ava Nagy and her husband were newlywed Hungarians on their honeymoon, and the third couple introduced themselves as Lena and Ned, though it amazed Allison that people with English first names spoke with such thick accents. She was about to whisper that to Jake, but didn’t when she noticed that he was busy scribbling something on a small notepad.
* * *
“Want to dance?” Jake asked her after dinner.
“Sure I do. After that meal, I need some exercise.” When his eyebrow shot up, she said, “I don’t mean that kind, so don’t even go there.”
She loved the grin that played around his mouth, signaling a playful mood. “Guilty as charged, but I don’t like seeming so transparent that you can read my mind.”
“When it comes to food and sex, your mind is an open book.”
A saxophone began a haunting melody, and she moved into Jake’s open arms, catching his rhythm and swaying with him as if they had always danced. His hand rested lightly on her back, made almost completely bare by her low-cut gown.
“If you think my mind is an open book,” he said, “I must have been doing one hell of a piece of acting. I always let you see the truth, Allison, but only as much of it as I want you to see. I’m just careful not to lie.”
“But I was right, wasn’t I?” she asked.
For an answer, he pulled her close, so close that air couldn’t get between them, and slowed down his movement. “I’m not in the mood for a serious discussion, and I’m hurt that you want to talk serious when I’m holding you like this in such a romantic setting, with that sax wailing out the most seductive blues I ever heard. You’ve wounded me.”
She resisted resting her head on his chest. “Poor baby. I’ll make up for it. I promise.”
He missed a step. “You want to clarify that right now?”
“Uh-uh. I can’t think straight when I’m with you like this.”
“You devil. You’ll clarify it. If not now, definitely later. Want to walk through the gaming room?” he asked when the music stopped. “I don’t play games of chance, but it’s enlightening to watch others do it. What about you?”
“I have played the slot machines, but five dollars of my own money is as much as I allow myself to lose. I’m not much of a gambler.”
As they strolled through the room, she watched in awe at the singular expression that characterized the face of nearly every slot machine player. The intensity, the hope, and then the disappointment and, for many, despair. I’ve played my last slot machine, she told herself. I hate to think I was ever like this.
“Making notes for your novel?” she asked Jake when she realized he was writing.
“What better opportunity to get information than when people don’t know they’re being observed?”
“Sometimes, Jake, you speak in cryptograms, but not to worry; I like to exercise my mind.”
He stared down at her. “Good, because you certainly keep my mind busy.” Taking her hand, he said, “Let’s go out on deck.”
They walked with their arms around each other until he stopped. “This setting is making a romantic out of me.”
The moon shone brightly, seeming to hang low over the sea, and his arm encircled her, shielding her from the suddenly brisk breeze. “You’re a natural romantic,” she said, trying to shake her sudden sense of disquiet. “I didn’t realize the Caribbean Sea could get rough, but—”
“Depends on the weather. Are you cool?” He had been leaning against the rail, but he stood upright then and opened his arms. “You’d be surprised how good it feels just holding you.”
“I used to dream of idyllic moments like this with someone I cared for. It’s almost unreal, Jake.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s so perfect, and I’m...I’m not used to...to this. I’m used to problems and...and turmoil.”
“I told you that my shoulders are broad, and that I’m here for you. Do you understand that I’m willing to pick up your burdens if you give me a chance?”
“Yes, I do. And if that times comes, I’ll be a happy woman.”
“If? Did you say if? This isn’t the first time you’ve alluded to your uncertainty about yourself and about us. And yet, you can’t tell me what it’s about.”
“After I finish the story, we’ll talk, Jake—that is, if you’re still interested.”
He looked across the sea at the steadily darkening sky. “I don’t think I want to examine that too closely. For now, I have to take it on face value.” He paused as if in deep thought. “Let’s go in. This water is getting a little rough.”
As they reentered the lounge, she heard a voice speaking over the public address system say, “If you’re on deck, please come inside. We’re expecting strong winds for the next few hours.” She clutched the hand that held hers.
“I’d better go to the room and get my wristband. I’ve never been seasick, but you never can tell.”
“How do you feel now?”
“Fine.”
As they walked to their quarters, only their hands communicated. Every woman they passed looked at Jake with appreciation, some with blatant lust. She glanced up at him. The man was oblivious to it, glancing neither left nor right, as if the two of them were alone.
“We’d better not sit on the deck,” he said when they reached their quarters. His right hand went to the back of his head, and his fingers crawled through his hair. “But it seems a shame to end this evening so early. Back there when we were dancing, I really connected with you.”
“Me too, Jake. Come in, and I’ll order us some drinks and some snacks or something.”
He stared down into her eyes, saying nothing, and shivers raced through her, rattling her nerves.
“Well, if you’d rather not,” she said, wondering at his reticence, “I can use some sleep.”
He extended his hand for her key, took it, and opened the door.
Inside Allison’s stateroom, Jake went to the phone, ordered a bottle of Veuve Clicquot champagne, an assortment of canapés and fruits, and charged it to his credit card. The ship seemed to rock a little, and he had a feeling that they were in for a storm. He didn’t know why he did it, but when he turned to face Allison—seemingly more fragile than he would have imagined possible—he said, “I love seeing your hair down. I like it as it is, but when it’s down, there’s a softness about you that appeals to me.”
Without taking her gaze from his, she removed the comb, released the twist, ran the comb through her hair, and let it fall to her shoulders. He sucked in his breath. Without saying a word, she let him know that she enjoyed pleasing him. He knew he’d better watch his step.
“I’ll be right back. Have a seat,” she said, and went into the combination dressing room and bathroom.
He sat in the chintz-covered chair, comfortable even if it wasn’t to his taste, took the opportunity to make a few notes on observations he had made while in the gaming room, and jotted down a reminder to ask the chief if he had anything on Lena and Ned. Allison opened the door and he hurriedly slipped the little notepad into his pocket.
“Is this ship rocking?” she asked him, and he could see that she wore the wristband that was said to prevent seasickness.
“Slightly. You okay?”
She nodded. “What will we do in Martinique?”
“You name it. Swim, snorkel, horseback riding
, tennis, dancing, enjoy the breathtaking scenery, a lot of things. And I’ve heard the food is great. If you like, we can find a restaurant that has a veranda, sit out there in the breeze, and enjoy each other’s company.”
She answered the door, and the waiter set the champagne service on a table beside the window and opened the champagne. Jake tipped the man, but always mindful of the dignity of people who rendered him a service, he detained the man with brief conversation.
“How’s the wind out there?”
“Not so good, sir, but we’ll be out of it in a few hours. Sometimes it gets pretty rough this time of year. Hurricane warnings up in the West Indies, but we’re well south of the storm.”
“Glad to hear it,” Jake said. “Thanks for bringing this.”
“My pleasure, sir.”
After the waiter left them, Jake poured each of them a glass of the wine. “Come closer to me.” He patted the chair beside the one in which he sat. “Are you glad you came?”
“In a way, yes.”
He didn’t like the sound of that. After musing over it a bit, he clicked her glass with his own and sipped the champagne. “In what way no?”
She leaned back in the chair and covered his free hand with her own. “It’s like having a great ride that would be exhilarating if your seat belt wasn’t broken, or like taking a wonderful trip and not knowing where the plane is headed.”
“Yes, I know.” And indeed he did. “It’s the uncertainty. Doesn’t sit well with me, either. Not knowing important things about my life—I don’t mean the future; I mean the now—goes against everything I stand for.” He glanced at her. “Did you feel that?”
“Yes, indeed. This thing is rocking.”
He couldn’t help grinning. A little danger had always revved up his engine, but he wondered whether she would be so serene if she were alone.
“Where’s the fun? If this thing gets out of hand, I’m not letting you leave this room.”
The laughter that he had smothered rolled out of him. He couldn’t control it. “Allison, sweetheart, if you think getting me to stay here with you will be a problem, you’re out of your mind. Your problem may be getting me to leave.”
She sipped her wine and tossed her head, dismissing his words. “Oh, pooh. You’re a gentleman.” She crossed her knees and began swinging her foot.
His sense of the absurd left him as quickly as it came, and he looked at her with as stern a face as he’d ever worn. “That is not a means of controlling me, Allison. A gentleman has needs, and when he’s with a woman he wants on a stormy night at sea, his needs can rise up like a stallion on hind legs and throw him.”
“I didn’t mean to suggest that you don’t have feelings, just as I do,” she said, letting her gaze slowly scan the room.
Something in him jumped to life, for at that minute he realized she was scanning her room for cameras that he’d said might be hidden there.
“What are you looking for?” he growled, forgetting that he might frighten her.
“I, uh... I was...”
He jumped to his feet and stood facing her. With his right hand outstretched, he waited as she sat there gazing up at him, swinging the leg that hung from her knee. When her eyes darkened and her tongue rimmed her bottom lip, he smiled, held out both hands, and then opened his arms to her. She sprang from her chair, and with a moan that he knew signaled complete capitulation, she locked her arms around him.
Was she certain this time? He hesitated, doubting his ability to pull back. “Do you want me? Do you?” He had to be sure, because he couldn’t let himself embarrass her and certainly not hurt her in any way. Her large, almond-shaped eyes gazed up at him, questioning. Yes, and inviting. But he had to be sure.
“Do you?” he repeated.
Her lids dropped over those luminous eyes, and her bottom lip trembled. “Don’t ask me questions,” she whispered. “Just...just love me. Love me, Jake, like you mean it. Like I’m the only woman on earth. I need you.”
The sensation of her thumb rubbing his bottom lip stunned him, and when she sucked the thumb into her mouth, he felt a rush of blood, a swift tightening of his groin, and jumped to full readiness.
“Allison!”
When she locked her hands behind his head and opened her mouth, desire sliced through him, and he plunged into her. Her rhythmic sucking on his tongue sent his blood racing, as she feasted like a woman starved. He wanted to tell her to slow down, but her hand went to his buttocks, tightening him to her, and he nearly lost his composure, as she moved against him, letting him know that she enjoyed the feel of his erection, that her body was primed for his entry. He told himself to think about popcorn, Gone With the Wind, shoelaces, Italy, anything but the woman in his arms as she tortured him with her woman’s scent, the softness of her body, and the loving she gave his tongue.
Allison didn’t think of the past, nor did she worry about the future. Her reservations about Jake and herself disappeared like a puff of smoke in a windstorm, when he stood before her, open and vulnerable, and spread his arms to her. Nearly six years of loneliness and pain heightened her need of him. His arms went around her and blotted out everything that existed or ever had been, except him. When at last she felt his tongue in her mouth, her world spun off its axis.
She felt him hard against her and grabbed his buttocks, the better to feel him, as his heat touched her through their clothing. He broke the kiss, and his lips began to tease her ears and throat. She heard the moans that escaped her, and didn’t care. His tongue bathed her neck, and she thought she’d die if she could feel her nipple in his mouth.
“Jake. Honey.”
“What is it? Tell me what you need.” For an answer, she grabbed his hand and rubbed her left breast with it. “Tell me,” he whispered in a voice she hardly recognized.
“Kiss me. Please ki—”
His big hand went inside the bodice of her dress and freed her breast. Then, he bent to her hardened nipple, and lathed it gently.
“Please. Please. I want to feel your mouth on me.” She felt his warm breath seconds before he pulled her nipple into his mouth. “Oh, Lord,” she cried. “Jake, honey, I can’t stand this.” She rocked against him, finally throwing one leg around his hip. He lifted her, and she straddled him, feeling all of him. Greedy for more, she began to unbuckle his belt.
“Not yet, sweetheart,” he said, setting her on her feet. “May I unzip this?” he asked her, his voice thick with desire.
“Yes. Yes.”
He unzipped her evening gown, caught the dress before it landed on the floor, and threw it across a chair. As if stunned, he stared at her until she covered her bare breasts with her hands.
“No. Don’t. Sweetheart, you’re so beautiful. So... Let me look at you.”
He lifted her, threw back the bed covering, and placed her on the bed, where she lay bare to him except for the inch-wide yellow bikini panties. As he stared down at her, her breathing shortened to a pant, moisture accumulated in her mouth, and she had to control the urge to spread her legs wide as desire washed through her. Without taking his gaze from her face, he shed his clothing, hurriedly as if racing ahead of a fire. And then she saw him, full and masculine. Her legs shifted apart as she reached for him. When he stepped to the edge of the bed, she tugged at his G-string, released him, and let him spill into her waiting hands.
He threw his head back and groaned as she fondled and caressed him. Then he joined her at last and wrapped her to his hard body.
“May I?” he asked, with his fingers on her bikini. She raised her hips to him, and thought she would break out of her skin when his hands skimmed slowly from her belly to her nest and down the inside of her thighs. She reached for him, but he moved from her.
“Be patient, love. This is too important, too precious to rush.”
He took both of her h
ands and held them over her head, then her cheeks, ears, nose, and forehead sparkled beneath the heat of his mouth. “Jake, I want you inside me. I’m going crazy.”
“Don’t rush it, love. It will find us.” The feel of his lips on her neck, then her chest, teasing, promising, and denying, excited and frustrated her until in desperation she slapped his buttocks, then rubbed them as moans spilled from her throat. When he kissed the top of her breast, she cupped it in a lover’s offering. Finally his mouth covered her nipple, bringing a keening cry from her lips as he suckled her, nourishing himself as if he’d been starving for years. She reached down for him, but he moved away.
“Not there, baby. Not yet.”
With one nipple snug between his lips and one of his hands on her breast, her senses began to reel as his other hand moved slowly down her body, stroking her belly, caressing the inside of her thighs. Unable to restrain herself, her hips undulated, but he stilled them, poised at her center, and when she wanted to scream, his fingers parted her folds and began their talented dance.
“Please. Jake. Get in me. Get in me.”
For an answer, he lifted her knees over his shoulders, kissed her, and then claimed her with his tongue, rubbing, circling, and probing until her moans filled the room. Slowly, he kissed his way up her neck, reached on the floor beside the bed for the condom he’d placed there, and handed it to her as he covered her body with his own.
“Raise your knees a little, love.”
She took him in her hands and brought him to her love portal. And then she felt him, iron-hot, velvety smooth, and big. Her body stiffened. “We’ll go slowly,” he said, but if she didn’t feel him moving inside her, she’d go crazy. She swung her body up to meet his gentle thrust, wrapped her legs around his hips, and pressed his buttocks to her.
“Allison, baby. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You aren’t. You can’t. I just want to... Honey...” She pushed upward, ignoring the initial pain, and took him in. All of him.
Last Chance at Love Page 15