by Hanna, K. T.
She wakes up to a tighter grip on her upper arms and red and silver flashing eyes inches from her face. Dom grunts and flings himself to the side, away from her, his entire body switching colors so rapidly it hurts to watch him. He’s the color of the iron on the bed, of the white on the sheets, of the fake blue curtains and the pretend brown window. It’s like his skin is cycling through all of the textures, trying to find the one it wants.
“Dom.”
“Don’t,” Dom manages through clenched teeth. He holds out his hand out flat as a warning to keep at a distance. She obliges and wrings her hands, trying to figure out what she’s supposed to do. “Don’t come closer.”
“What’s wrong?” she asks helplessly, not sure of what she can do.
“It hurts so bad…like I’m on fire, like parts of me want to rip other parts apart. This is wrong. I’ve never felt like this. I’m not supposed to feel like this. Sai…” He crouches on the ground, head in his hands, and moans.
Sai takes one more look at him and bolts toward the stairs, only to find Garr making her way up. She grabs the older woman’s hands and drags her into the room. “Fix him. He’s hurting. It’s killing him.”
“Nonsense.” Garr gently takes one of her hands. “Stop being a baby, Dom. Let her touch you.” She guides Sai’s hand to the front of his chest and places it firmly there. “Now heal him. He’s not just made of some alien metal, Sai. He’s partially human. You can heal it. Help him.”
Frustration overwhelms Sai because she tried to heal him before, but she does what the woman says anyway. She closes her eyes and exerts just a bit of power. The movement is sluggish but at least this time it’s obviously there, so she pushes a little more, trying to find the human tendrils in his body that will best welcome her abilities. She opens her eyes when Dom stops groaning in pain. “I’m so sorry, Dom. It didn’t work the first time I tried it. There’s a different twist to it.”
“You’ve never had to heal him before,” Garr interrupts. “I’ll get you another restorative tea, and I need to give him one more injection. One more day and you should be good to go. You’ll have to be. We’re running out of time.”
Sai just nods, too busy to ask Garr what she means by that cryptic comment.
Garr walks back in from the kitchen with a tea and a needle. “Get him back on the bed. He’ll be fine for now. You rest up and we’ll work on fixing him after you’ve replenished your reserves. You’ll need to do this every day for a while until he knits back together permanently—you’ll have to assist his body with not rejecting the new adrium. We’ve had to supplement. He lost too much in the fight.”
Sai nods her understanding. “Like a blood transfusion.”
Garr nods at her, an unreadable expression blocking out her emotions for a second. “Like a blood transfusion. I’ll send some of this tea with you when you leave.”
“Garr?” Sai ventures, just before the woman leaves the room. “Thank you. For this.”
The older woman nods and leaves them alone with each other.
Seeing Dom this way is unsettling and Sai can’t quite get her mind around it. He’s no longer invincible, but vulnerable and more human than she thinks he’ll be comfortable with. Even if it took about forty attackers in the space of fifteen minutes to take him down to this level of damage, she never thought she’d see the day where he was seriously injured.
She’d always thought he was just being modest when he said he couldn’t take on more than one patrol by himself at a time. Now, she knows differently.
Sai sips at her tea and waits for him to rest up so they can talk. Talking will hopefully help ground him and keep him away from the red that keeps trying to leak through. It takes effort to shrug her own shadows back and away from her mind; she can only imagine it must be impossible sometimes for him. Some more healing sessions and his body will be as good as new. It’s a good place to start.
She just wishes time would stand still.
Dom stares at the wall with its fake window surrounded by worn blue curtains and tries to gather the fragments of the fight floating in his memory. What if next time an axe is sharper, or what if someone finds a sword? Anything where enough of them can hit him and take chunks out of him will do. So far it appears he’s just been lucky.
“You have to stop that,” Sai chides him and he blinks, turning to face her.
She puts her hands on either side of his face and holds him there gently. It’s a recent habit, intended to make him focus on her eyes and stop from persisting with his inner dialogue.
“I’m not doing anything.” His voice sounds sullen and resentful. Nothing like himself.
“Dom, you’ve never been good at lying. It’s not your thing. Get me or Bastian to teach you some day. Stop trying to convince yourself that you should be feeling normal.” The happiness in her voice is strained. Because he’s a failure, because he’s not as strong as he always pretended to be. He feels cheated—like someone constructed him and lied on the packaging.
“Sorry.” He watches her black eyes that sometimes show hints of brown. Today there is no silver leaking into them. Her psionics lay dormant for now. She’s probably replenishing her energy.
“Don’t be.” She moves away and busies herself around the room, shoving stuff into both his pack and hers. “How’re you feeling?”
He hesitates briefly, unsure of how to answer. “Like I got a chunk of me cleaved out with an axe. You?”
She cringes at his remark, and immediately Dom feels sorry for having phrased it that way again. “I’m really…sorry…” is all he can think of to say and this time she nods. How is he supposed to protect her now? The parasite nips at his thoughts, offering the false strength he now knows is just a trap. His eyes begin to wander again.
“We have to leave today. Garr says it’s time.”
Dom nods. They’ve been here two full days. The longer they stay, the more danger they put their host in…and Garr has been amazing.
“It is time. But you should probably stop pulling that face, Dom. After all, we just implanted new adrium in your body. The wind might change and seriously leave you with that expression.”
Her face is so deadpan Dom almost believes her, but only almost. He smiles a bit at the effort she put into the joke and slowly climbs down from the bed.
“Spoil sport.” Garr steps into the small room and ruffles the hair on his head. “You’re all grown up now. It’s odd seeing you this way.”
“Garr…” He closes his eyes and says the word softly, vague memories from many years ago floating through his mind. “I’ve missed you.” He bites back the suddenly unexpected emotion running through him. This woman is like his mother. She taught him to speak and to shield, about a lot of things.
“I’m glad you remember me.”
He nods. “You’re hard to forget.”
She moves to stand in front of him and holds his hands in hers. “Then believe me when I say, you are not weak. You are strong. This would have killed any other living thing on the face of the planet. Every living thing but you. Stop beating yourself up.”
Dom focuses on her, draws strength from her words, and bats the darkness near the edges of his vision away. He attempts a small smile, and she responds in kind and puts a hand on his shoulder. “That’s our Dom.”
Then she leans in and speaks softly into his ear. “She’s worried about you. Work with her. You need each other. She’d be lost without you, too.”
He stares at Garr, speechless, and nods again, a sudden wind of hope filling him up.
Sai frowns and walks over. “We need to make sure you’re steady enough on your feet.
“I’ll be fine,” he says softly, still embarrassed by the slight metallic tinge to his voice.
Sai looks up at him and smiles. “I know you will. Now we just have to convince the rest of you.”
He attempts another smile and chooses, at that moment, to convince the rest of him no matter what it takes. Regardless of how badly this went, of ho
w close this came to the end, Sai needs him. He owes her and needs her in the same way. Letting her down again can’t be an option.
Dom fidgets as he sits in the vehicle. His camouflage isn’t working properly yet and they need to get back out. With his body out of sync and his usual abilities withheld because of it, his safety net is gone. It’s worse than the parasite. It’s because of the parasite.
“Can we do this?” He keeps his voice pitched low.
Sai reaches across and squeezes his fingers. Her hands feel clammy, yet he doesn’t trust his psionic finesse enough to see if it’s because she’s nervous.
“We can do this. Don’t worry.” She smiles at him, and the expression warms him slightly, even if it is a little wan.
He wonders if Sai realizes her voice is shaking, showing him how nervous she really is. When they could blend, it was fine, they had no problems, but right now? They have to get through the guard using regular disguises and a slight distraction from Garr. The odds of making it are bad, and that’s putting it mildly.
He usually leads her through all of this. He doesn’t need to make things even more difficult for her.
The guards at the gate rake their gazes over the crowd in front of them. Getting from the good district and back into PC 4’s equivalent of the ghetto is not as easy as it once was. The guard are still looking for them, and if they’re not careful, they’re going to find them.
Garr, however, in all her ingenuity, has them as passengers in the small vehicle she has. It’s loaded with goods and medical supplies for the hospital just past the guard station. She leans into the door and smiles, and it’s like Dom can see her flip that switch to sweet and talkative Garr. “Garimerl Medicinal Supplies.”
He glances over his reader and back and frowns. “You aren’t due to deliver until tomorrow.”
Garr affects shock. “I wasn’t? But I could have sworn.” Her face falls and she sighs a little over dramatically, but it seems to work. “I’m so sorry,” she says as the man’s face begins to take on an expression of pity for the old woman. “I will go back then…”
She makes as if to turn the vehicle and stops as the guard places one hand gently over hers. “It’s okay, Garr. I remember you from my younger days and how you always fixed a scraped knee or helped someone who was hurt. I’ll let you through today. No sense in you making the journey all the way back.”
Garr’s face lights up with happiness. “Oh, young man, you’ve done me a kind turn.”
“Who’re your passengers today?”
“Helpers who will be staying with the sick in the dark district,” she says in hushed tones, looking around as if someone might hear.
The guard takes a step back and waves them through. “Good luck, Ms. Garr. Hope to see you soon.” But his expression says he doesn’t believe he will. There’s a tinge of sadness around the edges, as if he really will regret not seeing her again.
Dom leans on her shoulder and whispers in her ear. “You’re really going to have to tell us about that someday, Garr.”
“Don’t be silly, Dom. Give an old girl some secrets.” She winks and drives them along the path toward the city walls.
The section of the city wall Garr leads them to is breaking down. The area around it reeks of sewage, and the stale water’s slimy surface could hide an army of bacteria. She smiles at them and leans on a few of the crumbling bricks, only to have them open into a steep stairwell.
After looking around several times, Garr ushers them in. It’s dank inside, but cool as they file down into the narrow corridor. Garr pulls the door shut behind them and fumbles for something before switching a light on. Metal sheet walls run as far as the dim light lets them see. Dom cringes at a cramp in his side. The adrium has receded, trying to build its strength back up, and his body is reverting to the human components to keep him functioning. Vulnerability at its finest.
“You parked Mele out at the hub of rock you were instructed to, correct?”
“Yes.” Sai answers the question for him.
“This should take us straight to her. It’s not quite dark outside yet, so we’re going to have to wait, but it’ll be fine.”
“Merl doesn’t talk much,” Sai states. She intertwines her hands, and Dom knows she’s probably feeling constricted by the narrow tunnel.
“Sure he does. Just not much with his mouth.” Garr’s smile takes on a ghastly appearance in the dim light. “The Damascus fractured his jaw in several dozen places last time they ran amok. It’s painful for him to speak, so he usually lets me do most of the talking.” She winks back at Dom. “Which you can probably tell.”
Sai laughs, the tension visibly draining from her shoulders, and they continue down the way in silence.
Dom stumbles and reaches out an arm to steady himself, sliding for a moment against the metal wall. “Damn it,” he mutters at the pain stabbing through his arm and his chest. He’s been ignoring the legs since they entered the tunnel. This weakness gives him a stubborn determination to push himself farther, only this time he isn’t sure it’s enough. He needs longer to heal.
“Dom?” Sai’s tone holds concern, and he can’t quite make out her expression. Garr squeezes past her, frown on her face as she crouches close.
He tries to get up, but his left leg won’t take the weight. Something wet slides down his thigh to his calf, but he can’t tell what it is, and increased pain enters his system. Panic is such an easy out, but he grits his teeth and tries to control it. There’s no way he’s letting the parasite sink its teeth in again.
Garr grabs his arm and gasps softly. “Your leg isn’t healed properly. Sai—” She grabs the girl’s hand and holds it against Dom’s thigh. “—exert as much energy as you can. Help patch this up temporarily until we can get to Mele.”
The older woman frowns at them both—not that Dom can see it, just that he knows she is. “You were healed. Is your body rejecting the new adrium insertions now?”
“I’m not sure. I felt fine—weak but fine—and then it kind of just hit me. I needed to sit and I fell.” Dom shakes his head and purses his lips. “This is ridiculous. I don’t feel whole. It’s like I’m hollow.”
He can see the woman’s face now, grimacing in the dark. “You’ll be fine. We will get this figured out. You need to get back to Mathur.”
Dom nods and puts a hand on top of Sai’s, trying to lend her some strength and failing. He doesn’t have any energy left to give. All he has is trying to hold his constructed body together. She doesn’t bat his hand away, though, and he thinks he sees her smile.
After a few more minutes, they begin moving again.
Dom isn’t sure how he makes it. His head starts spinning, and everything anyone says simply whirs around in the air slightly above his current level of comprehension. As they wait for the sun to fully set, every part of his body feels like it’s on fire. Never before even capable of being sick, and now it’s almost more than he can bear.
Except Sai sits down next to him, her shoulder bumping his own, her hand resting on his. “Sucks, doesn’t it?”
He blinks at her, focusing on the words, processing them. Speaking requires him to think in a focused manner, but he persists with it. “What sucks?”
“This.” She gestures at him, gestures at her legs. “The frailty of humanity. That the people we fight so hard to free, so hard to protect, can just fall apart.”
Slowly, he nods. “Your point?” Because she has to have one. She always does.
Sai maneuvers so she’s leaning gently into him, half-reaching across to cradle his face in her hand. She locks eyes with him, slivers of silver dancing their way through the dark as he feels her healing energy enter him, warm him. “There’s only one of everyone. And so we fight for each life, for each spark, for each piece of individuality. Because letting it go out too soon isn’t an option.”
He blinks, trying to let her know he’s understood her, riveted by the dancing swirls of silver in her eyes.
She leans forward a
nd rests her forehead against his. Something wet—a tear—jumps from her cheek to his own. Her nose is pointier than he realized as it brushes his own, and the breath of her words is warm when she speaks. “There’s only one of you, too, Dom.”
Dom blinks his eyes open to discover a white ceiling in a bright room. He frowns and tries to move, but his torso and legs are restricted. It takes most of his self-control not to rip the bindings away, but then he realizes there’s a dull throb throughout his entire body. A feeling that hasn’t been there until recently.
He is damaged. The tension in his body relaxes, and he slumps back into the feather-soft pillow. He focuses on Sai’s words, on what she said. There’s only one of him, and he is needed.
“You are awake.” Mathur’s lilt is like music to Dom’s ears. If Mathur is there, perhaps there is hope.
He opens his eyes again to focus on the old man who’s sitting near his head, studying a reader, and realizes part of the man’s lab has been converted into a sick bay. “How long?”
“You arrived early this morning. Sai was a mess. Mumbled all sorts of things about you, your personality, and to please take care of you. So I thought that might be a good idea.” There’s a twinkle in his eye that almost cancels out the worry lines making him look old.
“Bet you say that to all your dead patients.” He means it as a joke, but it falls flatter than most of his attempts. He’ll have more sympathy for Sai’s tiredness from now on.
Mathur puts the reader down on his knee and directs his attention to Dom. “I created you and I know you far better than you believe you know yourself. With a few days of actual rest, you are going to be fine. You will be full capable of doing everything you did before.”