by Hanna, K. T.
“I want to see if she can work with me to figure out just how accurate this theory is.” Kayde makes another few squiggles on her tablet, frown firmly in place. For once, Dom doesn’t have to fight his jealousy. Right now, it feels more like dread.
Mason clears his throat, which turns into a short coughing fit. They all wait, pretending that he isn’t deteriorating before their eyes. Finally, he speaks. “We may as well continue. The dominos have received effective treatment from Mathur, and we’ll be working as one unit to help bring down the GNW.”
Most of the people in the room applaud, except for Dom and Dael. Dom glances at the slightly smaller domino and frowns. Their expression is unreadable, but determined.
Dael smiles and manages to make it far more inviting than Dom ever has. “There are some of us it’s taking longer to heal, but as of right now, when we’re ready to launch the initiative in several days, we will be with you. We will focus on the Damascus when the time comes. It’s only logical.”
The contractions seem to come easier the more Dael speaks, though they start off rather stilted and awkward. Dom feels a surge of pride.
“Fantastic.” Garr stands up and smiles. Even if it appears a little strained, it’s somehow just enough to make everyone in the room smile with her. “Everything I know, I learned from Mathur. I’ll leave it up to you to decide if that’s a good thing or not.” She winks at everyone and garners a little round of chuckles from the room. “Better. You all look like this is the end of the world. Well, it’s not. Unless you count it as the end of a pretty crappy era in human history and the beginning of a fantastic new one. Then I’ll let you count it as an end we really need. Don’t let something silly like the origin of psionics bother you. I can’t believe we didn’t realize it before.”
Even Mason smiles at that. Dom has to hand it to her—she has an amazing way with people. Even he feels effected by her charm.
“Like any superpower, it is dangerous. And so we must use psionics even more responsibly than we have.” She grins. “Onto the great news: we have allies in Central—more than just Bastian.”
Dom knows the rest. After all, he and Sai brought them Bastian’s news about Owen. Frowning, he quietly camouflages himself and leaves the room to check on Mele before making his way to the infirmary. Sai will want to know the news as soon as she wakes up.
The tension in the air is palpable. Not only can Sai feel it, she can taste it on her tongue. A growing sense of unease enveloping Alpha. And if she can feel it, she’d hate to see what it would do to an empath.
“Good to see you awake.” Marlena walks into the room, her soft voice carrying well in the silence. “You’re getting a little reckless these days.” Her frown is disapproving.
Sai blinks as the heat rushes to her cheeks. “I wasn’t being reckless. I was helping my friend.”
“Uh-huh.” But Marlena’s eyes sparkle. When Sai peers closer, there are wrinkles she’s positive weren’t there before.
“Are you okay?” she asks the girl they rescued from Central.
Marlena nods, but there’s a tension in her shoulders. Marlena is often tense, but in a different way. An efficient, no-nonsense way, not a stressed one.
“What’s wrong? What aren’t you telling me?” Sai pauses in her effort to push herself into a seated position.
“There have been some developments…” Marlena busies herself with affixing another set of the charged compresses to Sai’s temples. “And I’m not the one who should be talking to you about it.”
Sai twists to glare at her. “The concussion is gone—healing yourself will do that to you. I’m fine. Where is Jeffries?” She kicks her feet out from under the covers and pulls herself around, ready to kick off the side of the bed.
Marlena’s frown creases her brow in a way that has to be worry. “Sai, just…” She reaches forward and disconnects the modules on Sai’s head, squeezing her shoulder with a sort of reassurance. “Don’t drag the machine with you. We don’t have the budget to replace it.”
“You’re awake.” Dom pokes his head around the corner of the door. “Are you decent?”
This isn’t the first time her chest has tightened when he spoke, nor is it the first time she’s felt genuine relief at his presence. But this time it’s not because of how she feels. Right now it’s because he brings an odd sense of dread with him. “I’m always decent.” She steps down from the bed. “And you have news to tell me that can’t wait.”
He finishes stepping into the room, and she frowns, momentarily distracted.
“You shortened your hair.”.
“You don’t like it?” His tone is neutral, nothing to get a read on.
“It’s just different.” Of course it’s different. His hair doesn’t grow; it simply is and he can make it whatever he wants. “It’s not bad, though. It’s whatever you feel most comfortable with.”
He stands and watches her for a few seconds, and she realizes his hair is suddenly like it was. “You know that’s kind of weird, right?”
Dom shrugs and pulls up a chair, nodding to Marlena who busies herself tidying up all of the equipment from both Aishke and Sai. The other girl is sleeping, a serene look of relaxation on her slumbering face.
“No escaping it, Dom. Tell me.” She fixes him with her best no-nonsense glare that apparently rolls right off his adrium.
He raises an eyebrow in that strange way that momentarily distorts a section of his face and rolls his shoulders. The ripple almost carries through to his chest, where it becomes slightly displaced and out of sync as it continues.
“Stop distracting me.”
This time he laughs. “It was worth a try. After all, it still fascinates me that my chest wound isn’t quite right yet. Anyway…” He glances around, as if checking for someone who might have snuck in. Finally he focuses back on her.
“The core, that part of you that lends you so much power, the part that always made you black out before you got your new legs…”
“Yes?” She taps her foot impatiently.
“Turns out, that’s a type of parasite spore.” Sai blinks at him and he continues. “Launched into the atmosphere the moment the meteors struck.”
He watches her, lips pressed together, arms crossed.
Parasite? Inside her? That gives her power? She blanches and can physically feel the color drain from her face. All those people, her parents, were all killed because of this parasite. She chokes down on the immediate guilt that tries to suffocate her and tries to focus.
Her powers got much stronger after she got her legs—like they magnified it. “Shit. The GNW are right?”
He winces. “Apparently it’s more complicated than that. But Kayde would have to let you know. She figured it out. It’s what they’re all working on now.”
“Wait.” Sai holds up a hand, trying to wrap her head around it, thoughts diving in multiple directions at once. “By accessing the core, we’re feeding the parasite, but it’s also lending us strength?”
Dom blinks. “Maybe? Like I said, you’ll have to talk to Kayde.”
Which is exactly what Sai plans to do as soon as possible. Her awakening blast was her own, but without this parasite, without this spore, she would never have had the powers to begin with. She moves to leave the room, but Dom stands abruptly and puts his hand on her arm. His eyes whir for a moment, a swirl of silver cascading into white.
“I have a question to ask you.” His voice is soft, aware they have an audience.
“Fire away.” Sai grins at him, happy he’s here.
“I’ll never understand that saying.” Dom shakes his head and frowns. “I need to know how it was for you to adapt to your new implants—to your legs.”
“For your own implantations?” She closes down on the regret and dismay she has for her lost legs and tries to focus on all the positives about them. Walking, running, phasing—all still possible. The headaches from the synaptic grafts are a small price to pay. So she smiles and waits for him to elabora
te.
“Exactly.” His expression is hopeful, like maybe she’ll have the answers.
“I didn’t have a choice, Dom, and they’re not the same. You sort of got a blood transfusion. You deal with the parasite on a daily basis. It’ll morph together soon enough and you’ll never know the difference.” She smiles at him to take any of the sting out of her words that she can. “My legs are foreign material. The rest of me is flesh and just as vulnerable as it always was. That’s something I can’t change.”
She shrugs, knowing it’s probably not what he wanted to hear. When she’d first been given the implants, it’d definitely not been what she had wanted to hear, but now the realization of how lucky she actually is overrides most of the worries she had. Except for the fact that apparently her psionics have meant she’s always had a form of parasite inside her. She shivers, suddenly cold, and her legs bleed in and out of a strange brown-blood-like color she can’t quite define.
He stares at her for what seems like an age before he smiles somewhat sadly. “I thought you might have an amazing epiphany for me. Though I do think I’m getting a grip on it.”
“I know you hate being reminded of your humanity, but it’s as big a part of you as the adrium, Dom. Don’t be angry at it for making you vulnerable. Be grateful that it gives you the moral compass to navigate the darker elements the adrium gifted you.” She watches him for a few more seconds, making sure her words are sinking in.
Slowly, he nods. “You’re right.”
“Of course.” She grins at him, even though there’s panic starting to filter into the back of her mind, even though if she pauses for a moment, she can sense the tug at her mind and her core. As if, with her new knowledge, her abilities aren’t trying to mask their origins anymore.
Dom frowns and catches her elbow with his hand. “You’re worried.”
She nods, knowing he probably saw it in her face. “I need to understand how this works. I was hoping to go and see Kayde.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Now?”
“Why not now?” she snaps, then closes her eyes and breathes deeply before proceeding in a calmer voice. “You said I should ask her, so I need to. I have to understand what’s inside me. I’m a weird cocktail of who-knows-what now.”
Dom doesn’t let go of her, even though she tugs. Finally she glares at him. “Let go.”
“There’s something else that’s bugging you, something you’re not even admitting to yourself.”
Well, now he’s eavesdropping again. Her words come out plaintively, though, and the worry overwhelms her. “Stop trying to get inside my head.”
He doesn’t let up. “Then tell me.”
“I want to know to what extent my little trick has been killing my friends.” The words are hard to squeeze out because the guilt is trying to choke her.
“Is that all?”
She blinks. “What do you mean is that all?”
“I mean, it’s always been there. You didn’t create it. The core, with its little parasite temptation, has always existed. It’s always enticed people to use more of their power. Some people have more of it, some people have less. You didn’t make it—you just made it easier to find and harness.” His tone is gentle and somewhat soothing.
Sai smiles and yanks her elbow away from him. “I still need to see her.”
He falls into step with her as she leaves the room. “I’ll let them know you’ll be along then.”
“For?”
“We’ve received a couple of emissaries from the outer cities. Not entirely sure how they found out about us or made it here, but I suspect we will find out.”
“Wait, we have outsiders on Alpha?” She stops in the middle of the hall, her eagerness at reaching Kayde stalled.
“A couple. There will be a few more soon. We’ll convene then.” He smiles. “Drag Kayde away from her research and bring her with you.”
He veers off and Sai stops to watch him go for a second. His gait isn’t as sure as usual, but it’s closer to normal than it has been. She’s glad he seems to be getting better. Doing this without him seems impossible.
She peeks around Kayde’s door. “Got a moment?”
Kayde balances two beakers, pouring a thin stream of liquid into a third. There’s a frown of concentration on her face, and not even her eyes flicker toward Sai. So she waits a few moments, very slowly and deliberately moving into the room.
Both of the pouring beakers empty at precisely the same time and Sai breathes a sigh of relief. Kayde breaks the silence. “You heard, then?”
Sai nods and moves to stand next to her friend. “Is it my fault?” As soon as the words are out of her mouth, she knows they reek of self-pity and selfishness.
But Kayde’s response is a sad smile. “Sooner or later, someone was going to figure it out.”
“Why has it taken this long? Surely someone, somewhere has dabbled with it before?” Sai has this need to understand, to know definitively.
“I can’t tell you that. What I can tell you is that the GNW—and the government before them—have kept such tight control over psionics, draining the most powerful they found of every drop they could. Not to mention the facilities to weed out those who were volatile or malleable. Ever since psionics arrived on the scene, no one has had the freedom to explore anything to a full extent.”
“But Bastian did or came close to it. He dulled from his first moments of awakening to disguise his power.” There’s got to be some hope in there for her. There has to be something to cling to.
Kayde purses her lips. “Because his family knew he would have strength. Because it’s what his father could see. After his mother’s death, the one thing the man did right was to warn Bastian to hide how strong he was. So while Bastian has bought himself a freedom no other strong psionic has had, he hasn’t been free to experiment just in case they locked him into the grid.”
Thoughts race through Sai’s head. She bites her lip sharply to try and ground herself.
“Sai?” Kayde moves closer and tilts her head up with the tip of her finger. “This has nothing to do with you. None of this is your fault.”
“Got it.” Sai nods, but her mind taunts her with images of Block 63 up in flames, of Aishke pale and sick, of the fifty dead people who waylaid them in that alley. The weapon she thought they had, the one breath of hope, now comes with so many strings attached that it might strangle them.
The training dummy strains under her flurry of attacks. It’s probably a good thing Dom had the idea to reinforce its skeleton with metal. It’s much easier to take her frustrations out on things when she doesn’t have to hold back.
“Can I come in, or would it be best if I backed away?” Dom leans against the doorway, arms crossed, exactly like she’s always remembered him. For a moment she wonders if the last week has been a figment of her imagination, but as he moves closer, his stride slightly altered, she knows that’s only wishful thinking.
“Enter at your own risk.” She means it to come out light-hearted, but the tinge of bitterness to her voice is hard to shake.
“Taking out your frustrations?”
Dom’s voice is soft, close to her, and she nods before slinging another punch, followed by a kick to the neck joint of the dummy. It keels over and rights itself, the weighted base springing into action. Sai bounces on the balls of her feet, arms positioned with her fists protecting her face, like she wants the world to fight her.
“You can’t take it personally.” His tone is sharper than she expects, and she stops bouncing for a moment, focusing on him instead.He inclines his head and continues. “You can’t take it personally Sai. This thing? It’s been around since millennia before you were born.”
She blinks at him and shakes her head, a laugh breaking past her lips. “It has, hasn’t it.”
He smiles. “Do you want to tell me what’s really wrong, or is it just one of those get-it-out-of-your-system things?”
Two more quick jabs at the dummy and she realizes the fire
is gone. “Nope. Pretty sure it’s already out of my system.”
“Good. We have two more delegates arriving shortly. Will you be up to attending?”
She grins at him. “Aren’t I always?”
“You want me to answer that?”
The response makes her laugh. “Thanks, Dom.”
“Will there be anything else? How are you feeling otherwise?”
She takes stock as they leave the training room. “Tired, frustrated, and scared.”
“Tired, frustrated, and scared are now three things I can understand intimately.” There’s an undertone of derision to his voice that isn’t reflected in his stance.
“You thought you were invincible, didn’t you?” Sai smiles—and chokes down a laugh.
“Not invincible.” He shrugs as he falls into step with her. “I knew I could get hurt, but I never had. It never felt so immediate.”
They walk for a while in companionable silence. As they approach one of the meeting rooms, she can hear voices trickle out, hushed conversations sending shivers down her spine.
“We’re at war, Dom.” Saying it out loud is so final.
He doesn’t say anything. He just reaches out and squeezes her hand, holding onto it when he’s done. “We’re at war.”
She squeezes back, trying not to let the sudden attack of emotion get to her. “Someone has to win, right?”
Aishke seems small and frail in her bed. Observing the infirmary from a visitor seat is a novelty Sai decides she doesn’t like. If she peers in the corners of the makeshift place, some of the partitions are wearing down. The whole appearance of Alpha is less imposing than it was when she arrived. Bits and pieces of it falling apart, just like everyone in it.
Or perhaps she just didn’t notice it when she first arrived, so caught up was she in the cause.
She sighs and leans forward, head in her hands. The tiredness creeps up on her constantly, like this weariness that won’t let go. Surely she’s not supposed to feel like this at seventeen. Eighteen? Has her birthday come and gone?