BROKEN MOON, PART 4
Claudia King
Published by Claudia King at Smashwords
Copyright © 2014 Claudia King
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Broken Moon, Part 4
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Day by day, hour by hour, the sadness that had come to define April's life over the past month began to give way to a fresh new set of emotions that occupied her thoughts. Ever since their passionate moment together behind her cabin she had been unable to escape from her thoughts of him. It was simultaneously the most reckless and the most liberating thing she had done in her entire life, and the ever-present risk combined with the excitement of it was an impossible cocktail to get out of her head.
Whenever she saw Cyan her heart leaped, though not with apprehension any more. They shared looks that lingered and touches that sent shivers down April's spine. Whenever she was near him her skin warmed and her body tingled, longing to be able to lose herself in his embrace again, but knowing that it was impossible whenever the eyes of the pack were on them.
The moments they did share in private were fleeting but intense. Sometimes Cyan would come to her back porch again in the middle of the night and tap on the wall until she slipped out to meet him, other times they would be helping one another with chores around the camp, and she would clutch at his arm with a mittened hand to drag him behind the trees, their hot lips meeting for a few delicious seconds, their fingers clutching and grasping, and then it would be over as a snapping branch or a distant voice yanked them jarringly back to reality.
For a week they stole secret kisses and ravenous moments in private, every encounter stoking her desire for him higher, but still she couldn't find the courage to spend the night with him as intimately as she wanted. It was too much of a risk. While not as nocturnal as their animal counterparts, werewolves still enjoyed the night, and even under the cover of darkness there were no guarantees that a pair of prying eyes wouldn't be somewhere nearby. She didn't invite Cyan into her cabin, nor did she go to his.
Though her thoughts never strayed far from the simmering feelings he evoked in her, the fear of what would happen if they were discovered kept her from abandoning common sense entirely.
What they were doing couldn't last. It was a furious, intense desire that dominated every part of her, but it had to end soon. Perhaps that was why she'd let herself give in to it so thoroughly; because she knew it would be taken away from her before long. She didn't have to wrestle with the responsibility and the guilt of making a choice between Cyan and her pack. Before long Ingrid would announce her new mate, and the choice would be made for her.
Thoughts of the future weighed heavily on April, and it was in those moments when she felt herself slipping back into her spiral of despair that she sought out Cyan, letting the passion of his desire for her burn away all of those terrible feelings, even if it was only for a few minutes.
He reassured her, over and over again it seemed, that it was her choice. That she shouldn't feel guilty. That her pack were forcing an unfair decision on her. And perhaps he was right, because her feelings of responsibility and obligation gradually dimmed the more time they spent together.
What didn't dim was her guilt over who Cyan was replacing in her life.
She couldn't pretend that their moments together weren't what she'd been missing all this time with Harper. Not the passion, nor the sexual desire, but the feeling of having a person she could be private and intimate with. Secret moments. Moments away from everyone else, with someone who understood things about her that she couldn't share with the rest of her pack.
What she had with Cyan couldn't compare to the years she'd spent with her best friend, but it still helped to fill the void in April's life. And there were things she shared with Cyan that she'd kept a secret even from Harper.
She longed to spend more time with him. She wanted to hear more of those stories he'd promised to tell her, learn about what had happened to him after he left the Mine Pack, but the thought of getting any closer to him scared her. It was better if all they shared was desire for one another. It would make it easier when they inevitably had to part ways.
Fear. Responsibility. Practicality. Whatever it was that kept April from sharing a bed with Cyan felt like a strained thread just begging to break, and the tighter it stretched the more she longed for the blissful embrace of his arms and the taste of his mouth against hers.
"He's bothering you, isn't he?" Blackthorn said to her one morning as she let her gaze linger on Cyan for a moment too long over the camp fire.
She blinked in agitation, her throat tightening as she flushed and cast her eyes back down to her wooden bowl of oatmeal. "No he isn't."
"I told him to stay away from you, and now it seems like every day..."
"He's not bothering me," April repeated, then frowned and looked up at Blackthorn. "Why would you tell him that? You don't still blame him for what happened, do you?"
Her companion growled in the back of his throat. "Someone was responsible for that avalanche," he muttered. "I saw where those rocks fell from, they didn't just blow over."
"Stop it. It wasn't Cyan."
"I believe you," Blackthorn said, "but with the ferals out there and an outsider in our camp, and now with Harper gone... We need to do something. I can't sit around feeling like there's someone threatening our pack just out of sight."
"Cyan's only ever helped us," she said hotly. "Just because he's different it doesn't make him a bad person."
"Then who else? Someone pushed down those rocks that killed Harper."
"It was an accident! It was probably one of the ferals, I don't—"
"You haven't been up there, April!" he said sharply. "I'm telling you, it wasn't some stray animal that caused that avalanche." Heads were beginning to turn in their direction. Conversation around the fire faltered as Blackthorn's voice rose. "Maybe there are more outsiders in the mountains. Maybe some of your new friend's old pack mates, or even worse, what if one of us was up there—!"
"Blackthorn, enough," Ingrid's stern voice cut in. "I know times have been tough, but pointing fingers won't help anyone. Nobody in this pack was responsible for what happened to Harper."
Blackthorn grit his teeth for a moment, but bowed his head in deference, his expression falling as Ingrid's disapproving look lingered. "You're right, I'm sorry," he said. "I know none of us would ever do something like that. It's just... hard, like you said."
"We'll press on through, just like we always have." Ingrid's expression relaxed and she gave him a tired smile before sitting down.
April turned her attention back to her breakfast, making sure not to look in Cyan's direction again until she had finished. Blackthorn's outburst had left her feeling shaken and raw, reminded all over again of the rocks falling and the bridge tearing.
This wasn't the first time tempers had flared since Harper's death. She'd noticed it amongst several of the others ever since she'd emerged from her cabin to carry on with her life. The atmosphere in the camp had changed. People were impatient, on edge, and once again the only respite she could find from it was in the arms of Cyan.
She finished her breakfast quickly, each swallow going down painfully. Once she was don
e she went to wash her bowl in the water barrel they kept for cleaning, passing by Cyan on her way. She let her leg nudge gently against his lower back as she walked by, rinsed out her bowl, and headed off towards the wood pile.
A minute later, he followed.
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Cyan followed April's tracks through the snow towards the small tool shed near the wood pile and archery targets. That was good. He'd been headed there anyway, so Blackthorn wouldn't be able to give him another grilling about following her around.
He still didn't know quite how to feel about April. The evening they'd met behind her cabin had been a mistake, and he'd spent the rest of that night regretting it. But then he'd gone to her again, then she had come to him, and within a few short days he was already counting the minutes till the next time they'd be able to slip away for a few private moments together.
It worried him. He should have been better than this. He'd held out for so long. Doing the right thing, helping others, keeping his dark animal desires in check, and now he was heading down a path that would probably end up ruining this poor girl's life. Or at the very least, his own.
Day after day his desire for her intensified, made all the worse for the briefness of their encounters. He longed to hold her again, feel her naked body against his, hear her cries of pleasure and taste her skin as he unleashed every last bit of his bottled up need.
When the time came for them to break it off, would he be able to let go? He already felt as though he'd been privy to a side of April that she'd never shown to anyone else. He wanted to protect that part of her. Cultivate it. Let her become... what? Someone who rebelled against her own pack? Someone more like him?
There was a very thin line between feeling protective and becoming possessive, and more than anything he was afraid of crossing it. He didn't want April to become his treasured gem, reserved for him and him alone. If she did, he knew exactly what he might be capable of if he was forced to see her mated to someone else.
The stiff latch on the shed door caught as he tried to twist it open, and in his haste he heard the brittle wooden boards crack as he yanked it free. Then he felt April's arms around his neck, dragging him inside as the door blew closed behind them, blocking out the whiteness of the snow and plunging them into darkness. He didn't even need to see her pretty face and enticing red hair to rekindle his desire, the sound of her breath and the scent of her body did that all by themselves.
He embraced her, finding her lips and kissing her softly as her body pressed into his, drawing it out until the warmth and comfort of her presence had soothed away the ache of the cold outside.
"I want more than this," he said breathlessly as they parted.
"Me too," she replied, kissing him again before resting her cheek against his chest with a sigh.
"Let me spend the night with you. We can go anywhere, there must be a safe place somewhere nearby."
She tensed in his arms. "I... cant. Someone'll see us. If we leave the camp they'll notice our tracks, or follow our scent."
"It shouldn't be any of their business what you do," Cyan growled. "What do they care, as long as you mate with someone they approve of eventually."
"But they do care," she sighed. "I know you can't see it, but everything they do is for the good of the pack. One day they'll be just as protective of you, I'm sure they will."
"If I stick around. And by then it won't matter, you'll have settled down with someone else."
"I don't want you to go." She clutched his jacket tighter. "Even if I'm with someone else. You're the only one who... You're just different."
"We'd just end up doing something stupid again. And even if we didn't, I can't live like that. Believe me, I've tried being around someone I can't have before. It wouldn't be any good for me or anyone else in this pack."
April rubbed her cheek against his chest, leaning in to him. For a long moment she was silent, her fingers rubbing and tapping against the creases of his clothing until eventually she spoke. "Will you tell me about it?"
He shook his head.
"You know everything about me," she continued. "Everything that matters, at least. I want to know the same about you."
"It'll only make it harder when we have to say goodbye," he said. Or worse, it'll make you hate me.
April went quiet again, and the pair remained in their embrace until a gust of wind tugged back the door and slammed it against the latch sharply.
"I'd better go," Cyan said. "I told Hazel I'd go hunting with him after breakfast. He'll be waiting for me."
April nodded, but clung on to him for a while longer before finally letting go. "I do want to spend more time with you, I really do, I'm just afraid."
"I won't force you to do anything you don't want to. If this is all it has to be, I'll just have to handle that."
April bit her lip as he pulled away, and for a moment he almost thought she might be about to say something. Then the door banged again, and the moment was gone.
"I'll see you later," he said with a smile, but internally his heart still pounded in the afterglow of their kisses, his blood pumping with the wild adrenaline of his inner wolf. He took the bow Hazel had given him and a quiver of arrows from the tool rack and stepped outside, taking a deep breath of the crisp winter air to clear his head. He felt like going on one of his solo hunts right now, sprinting on all fours and sating his wolf with the taste of fresh blood. But he was due to go hunting with Hazel, and these wolves hunted with bows and arrows. Were they really so afraid of going feral that they even denied themselves the pleasure of a good hunt?
He sighed and made his way back towards the meeting area. It wasn't his place to judge these people and their ways, he had to keep reminding himself of that. He'd already violated their rules by carrying on with April. The more he tried to hold everyone else to his own standards, the wider the gulf between them would grow.
"How are you finding that bow?" Hazel said as they headed down the mountain on the far side of camp. It was the opposite side to the path that led to the bridge and the ravine, and after a short walk the pair had passed around the cliffs and were looking down on miles of snowy slopes and rough terrain. The clouds had begun to part for the first time in days, and through the clear air Cyan could make out the shapes of buildings in the distance, and a long ribbon of highway stretching from one corner of the horizon to the other.
"Cyan?" Hazel repeated, giving him a nudge. "How's the bow?"
"It's great. Sorry, it's just been a long time since I've seen civilisation. Is that town where you send the kids off to school?"
Hazel nodded. "We've got an older couple who live nearby. They handle their animal sides pretty well, so they look after the kids while they're out there."
"I've never heard of werewolves mixing with humans like that. I never allowed it when..." He paused, then snorted. "Well, that was a long time ago."
Hazel gave him a wary smile, then nodded back in the direction of the town. "It was Harriet's idea to start doing it. People say she shook up the pack's rules a lot back when she was younger. She knew if something ever happened to the pack we'd need to understand how other people lived, so that we could blend in with regular humans if we ever needed to."
"It's risky. Won't people ask questions about where all those kids your old couple foster come from? And children aren't always the best at keeping secrets."
"You don't have to tell me that," Hazel sighed. "If I had my way I'd keep them home, where it's safe. At least our elders have the good sense to pull them out of school the second they get old enough to start feeling their instincts."
"And turning into giant wolves," Cyan muttered. His gut reaction was to agree with Hazel, but then again, was being even more insular what this pack needed right now? Was sending their children out to mingle with humans any more dangerous than letting their females mate with outsiders? He huffed and adjusted the bow over his shoulder. It wasn't his place to decide what was best for these people.
They wa
lked in silence for a while longer until the clouds closed up again and fresh snow began to fall, the distant town swallowed back up by a bank of fog. The clear mountain slopes that had looked so beautiful when they started out were reduced to a jumble of grey shapes as the bad weather settled malevolently over the landscape.
"So much for ideal hunting weather," Cyan said. "A wolf might still be able to catch a scent in this."
"I'm not going to stop you," Hazel said mildly.
Cyan glanced at him for a long moment, noticing the faint smile on his companion's lips, and frowned. "I'm sure we'll do just fine with bows."
Hazel chuckled and nodded, as though his companion had just given the right answer to a particularly poignant question.
Cyan didn't like the sound of that chuckle. Something about it set his teeth on edge. He pushed the thought aside and set his gaze ahead again, clearing his throat to ask a new question. The hunting trip wasn't the only reason he'd wanted to come out here with Hazel.
"They say Ingrid wants you to be April's new mate."
"Oh?"
Cyan thought he detected a flicker of something out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't turn to check Hazel's expression. His eyes remained fixed ahead, trying to remain as impassive as possible. "Has she spoken to you about it? Do you agree?"
"Do I agree that I want a mate some time before I'm an old man? Of course I do. Why? You haven't been letting those eyes of yours stray where they aren't wanted, have you?" He chuckled again and gave Cyan's arm a teasing bat with his bow, but the impact stung slightly too much for Cyan's liking.
"I was with her the night Harper died. I just want to make sure she has someone as good as him to take care of her."
"I think April can take care of herself," Hazel said. "But don't you worry, when Ingrid decides it's time I'll make sure April's always got a welcome spot at my hearth."
Broken Moon: Part 4 Page 1