Slow down, it said. Settle. Don't rock the boat.
But she ignored those thoughts. She'd spent long enough feeling guilty about what she wanted. Her instinct was what had kept her hidden away in her cabin for so long, and she was tired of feeling tied down by those feelings of duty and responsibility.
I will settle, she thought to herself. But only for something I know I want.
The caves lay at the back of the enclosed ravine behind the camp, beyond the line of empty cabins where Cyan was staying. They were a honeycomb of smooth passages that had been carved out of the mountain by running water millennia ago, and now all that remained of that water was the steaming hot springs where the pack washed and bathed, one of the few comforts that made winter living on the mountain slopes tolerable.
April paused at the end of the row of cabins, waiting for a few moments to make sure nobody else was out there. But the lonely ravine was empty. It had been a long day, and people were unlikely to make the chilly trek to and from the caves at this time of night. It was as secluded a spot as they were likely to find. She stayed close to the rocky wall where the ground was sheltered from the falling snow, making sure she didn't leave a trail of pawprints for anyone to follow, and hurried across to the entrance of the closest cave. The rocky opening gave way to pitch blackness a few feet in, but she could already feel the heat radiating off the rocks and hear the bubble of the hot water inside. She tucked herself into the shadows just inside the entrance and waited.
It wasn't long before Cyan showed up, his shaggy black wolf appearing from behind the cabins as he followed her scent. April's heart leaped in excitement, and she let out a sudden yap of delight as he came into view. Cyan looked up and caught sight of her, before offering his own bark of acknowledgement and running over to the cave. He nuzzled into her neck, enjoying her scent with his sensitive canine muzzle, a low growl of pleasure in the back of his throat. April shoved him away with a playful paw, then turned around and jerked her head toward the cave's interior, encouraging him to follow. Cyan's eyes squinted warily into the darkness, but she took the lead, and a moment later the sound of his paws following reached her ears.
Even the sharp night eyes of a wolf couldn't penetrate the darkness inside the caves once they strayed away from the entrance, but April only needed her nose and ears to know where she was going. She followed the faint scent trails of her pack mates from one chamber to the next, skirting around the bubbling pools as she listened carefully for the sounds of water lapping against stone, making sure she never led Cyan too close to a slippery edge. It only took them a few minutes to reach their destination, but she could sense her companion's anxiety growing as they moved deeper into the darkness inside the mountain. She might know where she was going, but he had nothing to follow other than the sound of her paws moving a few feet ahead of him.
April knew they had reached the chamber she was looking for when she smelled the faint scent of paraffin. Working her way around the edge of the cave, she skirted the steaming pool in the centre until her paws found the rough texture of a blanket. She shifted back into her human form, reeling for a moment in the darkness as her canine senses retreated, then felt for the wooden chest she knew was nearby and the wall sconce behind it. Her fingers rummaged through the container until she felt the small cardboard box she was looking for, then plucked out a match and struck it. Cyan's amber eyes shone in the flash of light, blinking at her in curiosity as she guided the flame to an oil lamp in the sconce and lit it. Once the flame was burning strong she carried the lamp around the edge of the chamber, finding the other wall sconces and lighting the lamps they contained until the entire cave was illuminated with soft orange light, the bubbling water of the spring in the centre casting beautiful dappled patterns across the rocks around them. She gave Cyan a smile as she returned the original lamp to its home, and he shifted back into his human form.
"You could've given me a hint about where we were going," he said as he gazed around the cavern chamber in admiration.
"I'm sorry, I know your wolf was getting anxious." She stepped forward and took his hands in hers, smiling with contentment. At last it felt like they finally had time to be alone together.
"He doesn't like being underground," Cyan said. "It reminds him of where he grew up."
"You mean when you first became a werewolf?"
He nodded. "With the Mine Pack. They used to live in a place that wasn't too different from this." He gave the cave walls another rueful look, then smiled at her. "But nowhere near as pretty, or with such good company." His fingers squeezed around hers, and he pulled her in for a kiss. April let it linger, enjoying the warmth of his lips on hers for a few moments, but when he slid his hand up to the back of her neck she pulled away gently, tugging him over to the blanket.
"We've got time now," she said, "we don't have to rush things."
Cyan seemed hesitant, but he followed her over to the cosy little corner and sat down beside April as she kicked off her boots and curled up against the padded rocks, resting her elbow against the wall sconce and propping her hand up beneath her chin.
"That was brave of you today, standing up to everyone to save that girl," she said.
"And I'm sure it didn't win me any more friends."
April reached over and took his hand, guiding it gently to her lap. "Maybe it did. I know we can be a stubborn bunch, but it was the right thing to do. Even if they don't all admit it, I think most of them understand on some level."
"I suppose you're right," Cyan sighed. "Most people know to do the right thing deep down, it just takes a few loud voices to lead them astray."
"Is that what you really think about our pack? That we've been led astray?" She frowned at him, but her look was curious rather than accusatory. She genuinely wanted to know. Perhaps part of her even wanted to agree.
"Some rules, some leaders, well, they sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture. And if they're good enough at convincing themselves that what they're doing is the right thing, sometimes they can persuade the people around them as well." Cyan grimaced. "I know that because I used to be one of them."
"After you left the Mine Pack?"
He nodded.
"Tell me about it," April continued, giving his hand a squeeze. "I want to hear the rest of your story. You must've lived such a life, and here's me..." She shrugged, blowing out a long breath. "Today I was so proud just to have stood up to the others for once."
"And you should be. That night back in the cabin you seemed so afraid of what everyone else wanted for you, but you're a strong girl, April. That's why I stuck around, you know, to make sure you didn't forget that."
"I know," she said, twining her fingers through his and toying with them in her lap. "Harriet told me the same earlier. I'm still afraid of it all, but, I don't know... If I take charge a bit more then maybe I can at least have some control over the things I'm afraid of."
Cyan smiled at her. "Maybe you don't need me around any more after all."
"No, I want you to stay." She clutched his hand a little tighter. "And you changed the subject. What happened to you after you left the Mine Pack?"
Cyan leaned back on the rocks, gazing into the bubbling pool in front of them. "It's still a long story."
"Then at least tell me some of it."
He remained quiet for a moment, as if carefully collecting his thoughts, and then began to speak. "I managed to get a couple of the others to follow me after they drove me out. The brave ones. Baya and her mate West. She was a good friend. Loyal. Almost too loyal for her own good, right up until the end. It was just me and them for a while, trying to put as much distance between ourselves and the Mine Pack as possible. After a few months we ran into another pair of werewolves out on their own. There used to be a lot of strays in that part of the forest. The Mine Pack ended up creating a few ferals of their own, and you can bet they'd take a bite out of any poor human they found out walking in the woods." Cyan rubbed his fingers against hers thoughtfully.
"So we ended up taking the loners in. Most of them didn't understand anything about being werewolves. They were lonely, confused, hostile. I had to be hard on a lot of them to make them realise that we stood a better chance together as a pack, and in the end I was the one they all looked to as their leader. I made the tough choices for all of us, to keep our new pack safe."
"It sounds like it wasn't easy."
"It wasn't." Cyan shook his head. "But I was afraid. I'd never admit it to any of them, but I knew what the Mine Pack were capable of doing to a group like ours. I wanted to keep them safe and hidden, just like your people up here. So I made my own rules. Nobody went anywhere without me knowing. Nobody made plans without my approval. Nobody even got to go back to human civilisation." He sighed. "Once you create a pack mentality like that, it's hard for anything to change it. I honestly did want the best for them. I just wanted to keep them all safe, and the Mine Pack taught me that some people don't have the strength to take care of themselves. So I figured I knew best. I let my wolf take charge, and before I knew it I was listening to my instinct more than my common sense."
"And that's why you're not their leader any more?"
Cyan nodded. "You can't create a leadership based on fear."
"So you left again? And ended up here?"
Cyan went quiet again, his eyes distant. "Eventually."
April cocked her head to the side. She knew there was still one part he was leaving out. The girl he'd loved. The one he'd lost. She waited patiently for him to continue, but no more words came. That was all the story she was going to get. Her brow knotted in frustration. She didn't know when she'd next find the time—or pluck up the courage—to be alone with Cyan again, and she wanted to know just how this tale of his ended. How had he ended up like he was? Alone, scarred...
A warning shiver prickled the back of her neck for a moment, but she stubbornly ignored it. It sounded as though Cyan had made his own mistakes as a leader in the past, but he'd clearly learned from them. He was a good person, a person she wanted to know as intimately as he knew her.
"Won't you please tell me?" She said softly.
He looked at her, and shook his head. "Maybe it's best if I keep some of my stories to myself."
"You know why I'm asking you, don't you?"
The corners of Cyan's eyes creased with pain. "You want someone from your own pack, April, not me. I've heard how your people punish someone when they break the rules. I won't let you go through that for the same of someone like—"
"Then how are you being any different from Ingrid and the others? Let me choose what I want, just for once in my life. Why won't you let me get to know you?"
"Because maybe I'm just a passing fling. Maybe there's no place for me with your people."
"I don't think you're just a fling." She squeezed his hand and edged closer, cupping his cheek with her palm. "You felt it that night in the cabin too. There was something... else. It wasn't just sex."
He still refused to meet her gaze. "That was my wolf coming out that night. I wouldn't trust anything I felt from him."
"Maybe you should. Cyan, I'm serious. I want to see if this can be more than just a fling. You don't have to tell me everything right away, but... here, let me show you." She leant forward and kissed him, putting her arms around his neck and swinging her leg over to straddle his hips. He was impassive at first, but he didn't pull away. She let her tongue find its way into his mouth, and then he was kissing her back, his hands sliding up her body and pulling her in deeper. A murmur of pleasure left her lips, and for the first time she finally felt free to savour every minute spent in Cyan's embrace. There was no panicked storm of emotions fuelling her desires like the first night they'd been together, and none of the anxiety from their private moments over the past week. She wanted him as her lover, and she was ready to let herself enjoy every pleasurable moment of it.
His fingers worked their way into the hair at the back of her neck, his grip on her body tightening until she shivered with a breathless gasp, the possessive strength of his touch stripping away her self-assurance in a way that left her feeling sensitive and vulnerable, eager for him to take charge. He rolled her over on the rug and kissed her again, the deep growl of desire in the back of his throat stirring the growing heat in her lower belly.
When he pulled back she found his amber eyes staring into hers with such intensity that her heart fluttered and her breath caught in her throat.
"It's been a long time since I've had something I wanted this much," he said.
"I think you've earned it," she whispered, caressing his neck with her palm. "You can have all of me. Everything you want."
Rising back into a sitting position she slipped out of her jeans, running her fingers up Cyan's firmly defined chest as he took off his shirt, barely resisting the urge to lean forward and kiss his masculine body. They shed the remainder of their clothes slowly, the act interspersed with hot kisses as more and more of their bare skin touched, until finally he held her naked body in his arms, the firmness of his shaft pressing against her stomach as she quivered in anticipation. She hadn't felt like this since the night she'd lost her virginity to Harper, and even then her first time had been fuelled more by anxious excitement than the powerful desire she felt towards Cyan right now. Sex to April had always been pleasurable and warm, but this time she felt something more. The desire spreading through her body tugged at her chest like a leash, pulling her towards something just out of her grasp, something so intense she could barely reach it.
Slipping a bare foot into the bubbling pool, April took her partner's hand and guided him in after her, the warmth of the water rising up to caress her body like a fresh set of tender hands. She gasped as it reached the petals of her sex, an intense tingle running through her as her feet found the smooth stones at the bottom of the spring. Cyan followed, the steam misting his body with perspiration as he slid into the water and moved around to trap her against the edge, his hands gripping the rocks on either side of her as he leant in for another kiss. She held on to his shoulders, arching her back as her feet left the bottom of the pool for a moment, kicking in slow motion through the gentle water currents as her thighs glided against his, every little touch caressing her nerve endings like smooth silk.
He worked his way down her neck, his lips finding every little sweet spot along her throat as he kissed and sucked, the occasional touch of his teeth revealing his intense desire as he bit gently, then harder, drawing a gasp of pleasure from April's lungs. With one hand clutching his neck for support the other explored his chest, fingering the contours of his stomach and every dip and swell of firm muscle she could find. The water lapped around their bodies gently, cupping the bottom of April's breasts and tickling her hard nipples as she rubbed her legs against those of her partner beneath the surface. Her heart pounded in her chest with desperate need, her caresses becoming more and more intense, wanting to feel more of his body against her, longing for his mouth to be everywhere on her at once, and hers on him.
Cyan held her up in the water with a hand against her back, kissing her breasts as his hot lips made their way to her nipples, one then the other, sucking, biting, tightening around her sensitive nubs with a tease of pain that only sparked even greater pleasure within her. Soon she was a slave to his grasp, his powerful arms holding her up in the water as his mouth moved where it pleased, kissing her chest, her neck, her shoulders, then back to her lips, her chin, her cheeks, her eyelids, tasting and savouring every little bit of her as his hardness ground itself eagerly against her lower belly. Had he had his way she would have been helpless in his grip the whole way through, but when their lips parted for a moment April pressed her palm against his chest firmly, easing him away for a moment until he finally let her go. Now it was her turn to pleasure him.
Running her fingers down his body she teased his chest with a touch of her fingernails, following with soft kisses as she let her tongue explore his chest and stomach, working her way down beyond his nave
l until the water lapped at the underside of her chin. Her hands found their way between his legs beneath the surface, caressing his firm shaft in the warm water and feeling him tense in response. She breathed heavily, glancing up at him for a moment with a look of desire, then took a breath and sunk her head into the water. She guided her lips to his member, letting the taste of the mineral-rich water flood her mouth as she kissed the tip, caressing the head with her soft lips and tongue, her body trembling with excitement as his fingers massaged her shoulder in response. Her mouth glided up and down the end of his shaft, eager to feel his smooth, firm length pressing against her tongue and slipping inside her. The salty taste of his arousal edged through the flavour of the water, sending another shiver of delight through April's body as she stroked her tongue more eagerly against the tip, hungry for more. She almost forgot her need for breath until her chest began to tighten in protest, but she hung on a few moments longer, savouring every little twitch and pulse until at last she was forced to come up for air.
She barely had time to breathe before Cyan dragged her up into a kiss, his arms encircling her body again with a firmness that brooked no resistance. He explored her mouth with his tongue, practically sucking what little breath remained out of her until she was panting helplessly in his arms, water dripping from her hair to trickle down into the space between their slippery bodies.
Broken Moon: Part 4 Page 4