by Nisioisin
“Forget about narrative tricks,” I cut in, “this had better not be about you simply having misspoken at some point.”
“Oh, no, ’tis not so at all. Worry not, I’ve neither tricks nor mistakes in my story─the Aberration Slayer I of whom I’ve spoken thus far is the predecessor, for thee and for me, no mistake about it─listen more carefully. I believe I said the Darkness swallowed just about his entire body.”
“You did. And that’s why I’m asking. If that’s the case─”
“Just about. In other words, a part of him remained,” Shinobu said before appearing to roll up her right sleeve─not that she had one since she was wearing a sleeveless dress.
“His right hand remained.”
“Hm?”
His hand?
“I did tell thee he was engulfed first─and when he was, he grabbed onto my wrist as if to seek my help. He snatched onto it, like so,” she said, grabbing my arm with her right. It was a tight grip, like she was placing a lock around it. “As if to seek my help─or so I put it, but I believe that in reality, ’twas a reflex. Had it been a vine of ivy or a twig of straw there, that is what he would have grabbed─’twas an action guided by instinct.”
“So you think─he would have literally grasped at straws?”
“Aye, and so ’twould be harsh to criticize him in any way. ‘Should he not have grasped the sword at his waist instead?’─would be too cruel a charge. I doubt it’d have meant anything even if he had─the Aberration Slayer could not have cut through a plain darkness that was no aberration.”
“…”
“That said, grasping onto my wrist as if to seek some bond is questionable. He could have botched my escape in doing so.”
“Well, you say that, but when you’ve got boosters on you big enough to fly to the South Pole, a human’s grip wouldn’t do anything─hm? In that case, don’t tell me─”
“Precisely.” Shinobu gripped my wrist tighter. “I flew to the South Pole together with his hand.”
020
“I am unsure.
“Did the strength of my jump tear his wrist from his body, or had the Darkness already engulfed him up to that point, leaving me no need to tear it at all─I feel it was the latter, given the clean cross-section.
“He’d grabbed on so tight that his nails dug into my skin, so I may have taken all of him with me to the South Pole instead were it the former…
“No, he’d have been dead on arrival in that case, given the ultra-high speeds, the drop in oxygen content, and the changes in gravity and air pressure… However much expert knowledge he may have had, his body was but a human’s.
“That’s all the backstory there is here.
“In the end, I remained alone at the South Pole with his hand─‘remained alone’ may be a poor choice of words after having traveled at such an incredible velocity, but none better describe my sentiment at the time.
“That Darkness was not pursuing me in the least.
“And every one of those people I’d come to know in those days, though I may not have known their names─Aberration Slayer I included─had gone away.
“In all likelihood.
“Because that Darkness─had swallowed them all.
“There I remained, alone.
“I’d been left to myself.
“For the first time in a hundred years─I thought. Nay, I had likely erased that memory─yet it had been revived.
“A woeful sense of isolation gripped me.
“Aye, isolation. That thing ye always feel. As I’ve transcended that dimension, I’ve never once felt lonesome, but everyone ought to, everyone can afford to have that kind of an experience a couple of times in one’s life.
“Having just encountered the unknown phenomenon known as the Darkness no doubt affected me. While feelings of fear or anxiety may be a stretch─I did sense its menace.
“While you said I’d lost my feral nature by being too strong─that precise nature revived within me for the first time in ages.
“And so─I revived him.
“I created my first thrall─just like that, as with thee. When I create thralls, ’tis only for quite selfish and egotistical reasons.
“There’s something known as the suspension-bridge effect─aye, the one in manga and the like. One confuses the heart-pounding fear from standing atop said bridge with the heart-pounding of romantic excitation. Explained in that manner, ’tis an easily understood phenomenon, but I believe the effect may be interpreted differently.
“That is, when a living creature feels ’tis in a situation where its life is threatened, it thinks of creating progeny and more easily falls in love.
“In my situation, my life had never before been in any sort of danger, and so I never felt like creating any thralls─and in fact, I cannot deny that I was on the verge of death during that time with thee, too.
“Perhaps I was far closer to death then than when I met thee─and so I felt that way.
“Romance, love, family, thralls─’twas not that emotional of a thing, but an impulsive, contemptible reason. My heart was simply weak. Aye, I permit thee to feel disappointed here.
“Though ’twould be nothing short of misguided to expect human emotions out of me─as a man who abandoned his humanity out of such misguided feelings, thou dost have the right to feel disappointed.
“I think. ’Twould allow me to rest easier as well─hm?
“What was that?
“How did I revive him when there was not so much as a corpse? Aberration Slayer I’s body had been engulfed by the Darkness?
“Come, now, how many times have I told thee to listen─stop making me repeat myself so often.
“Not all of Aberration Slayer I’s body was swallowed up by the Darkness─I said his right hand came with me to the South Pole.
“Aye, from the wrist onward.
“’Twasn’t even his head─but a hand is more than enough.
“Who dost thou think I am? So long as I have any part of a body with me, a fist or whatever else, I can use it as a sample from which the whole is revived.
“True, if the cells of the part in question, the right hand in this case, were to die off completely, then ’twould be beyond me.
“Strictly speaking, I am not reviving any corpse. I take that which is alive, make it immortal, and ensure that it does not die.
“So while I need only a part of a body, using a broken nail, a strand of hair, or a flake of skin would indeed be impossible─and of course, there must be blood within that part.
“As I am a vampire.
“While I understood the theory behind this as my character profile, ’twas my first time putting it into practice. I had no idea what would happen until I tried.
“And so, chomp.
“I bit into that right hand─and sucked its blood.
“Not as sustenance.
“But to create a thrall─I sucked its blood.
“Unable to stand being alone─
“I quit being a god and returned to being a vampire.”
021
“That’s so intense I have no words. Or room to be jealous or sympathetic,” I simply spoke my mind, giving her my unvarnished opinion.
Or rather, what I felt all over again listening to her story was: I see just how much of a different level you operate on.
Forget levels. Just everything.
It was too different.
Resurrecting a human being from his hand alone? Ridiculous─I knew it wasn’t exactly fair to criticize her for it, but frankly, it seemed like she was playing around with life itself.
She said “returning to being a vampire,” but that, to me, felt the most like a divine act─it’s a little late in the game to be saying this, but in terms of power, she really was nothing short of godly.
I keenly understood how those people felt when they recognized her as a deity for making that lake disappear─keenly and anew.
“…And you did it?”
“Hm?
Uh, no, no, hold on a second. I do admit to speaking of the suspension-bridge effect and the desire to propagate in the face of a mortal crisis, but that was merely a figure of speech, and I know not how to respond to such a direct question─”
“…?”
Shinobu was blushing and staring daggers at me for some reason─hm? Wait, so did she fail? Figure of speech? Was the vampirism stuff a figure of speech? Mmf…
“Wait, no! I wasn’t asking if you did it!”
“What? Ye weren’t? Thou art not interested in hearing of what Aberration Slayer I and I did under the cover of darkness?”
“I don’t even want to imagine if the two of you had love scenes! No, I’m asking if you managed to do it when you tried to regenerate the rest of him from his hand!”
“Hah,” Shinobu instantly laughed, a note of superiority in her voice.
This little girl, she was the best in the world when it came to looking down on someone.
“I know not how to fail. When I said ‘I had no idea what would happen,’ I meant ’twas unclear what manner of success I would achieve, what else? In fact, I wish someone would teach me how to fail. Otherwise I would be flummoxed when I do somehow manage to fail one day. Ah, indeed, ’twould be nice to know. I wish someone would write a self-help book or such on the topic, How to Fail Better!”
“…”
Well.
The scary thing is that there really are books like that.
“So then, what was thy question again? If I did it? Is that what you want me to answer? Very well, I shall.”
“Yeah… No, you’re virtually telling me that you did it. Right?”
“I failed,” she answered─
Successfully faking me out.
Her gleeful, self-satisfied expression quickly vanished─transforming to one of gloom.
She looked at the floor instead of at me.
“Y-You failed?”
“To be more precise, I succeeded for a time─but the end result was failure. I’ve told thee already, have I not─about the fate met by Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade’s first thrall─”
“…”
Right.
I’d already heard─during spring break.
On the roof of this abandoned cram school─I’d heard about the fate of my predecessor.
About his end.
I’d heard it, and been shocked.
I’d already been─spoiled.
“Aberration Slayer I returned to life just as I’d planned─his entire body was regenerated from his right hand. A full and complete transformation into a vampire─there were no missteps in my execution unlike when I turned thee into a vampire over spring break. Nor did I turn into a little girl. I would say the first thrall I created went better than my second, were we simply discussing the degree of my craft.”
“And I have to just sit and listen to this…”
“But─perhaps he was not as strong mentally as thou. While I suggested earlier that the elite are weak in the face of setbacks, that man must have been fragile in some more fundamental way.”
In retrospect.
I may have been lacking in consideration.
So she said─but I didn’t think you could expect Shinobu to be considerate to humans back in those days.
That’s why she couldn’t avoid it.
It was unavoidable.
Aberration Slayer I’s─suicide.
“Didn’t he throw himself into the sun, turn into ashes, and disappear?”
“Aye. Suicide─that oh-so-common cause of vampire death, about nine out of every ten. If there was anything uncommon, anything divergent about it, then─’twas that he ended his life after but a few years of being a vampire.”
“As a thrall, he might not have had your level of endurance, but I presume he didn’t die swiftly just because he went out into the sun.”
Burning, regenerating.
Burning, regenerating.
Burning, regenerating─until he burned away.
It would have required quite a lot of time.
It would have required─quite a lot of suffering.
I’d experienced something similar─so I knew.
That it really was a living hell─but a vampire probably can’t die unless he does that. Especially if you’re Shinobu’s thrall─
“…You didn’t save him? The way you did when I accidentally went into the sun over spring break?”
I was asking her if she didn’t, but perhaps the better question was: if she couldn’t save him.
And in fact, “’Twas impossible,” she replied. “Nor did I really understand the meaning of his actions at the time─well, we’d spoken at length prior to his decision to end himself, but my relationship with him was essentially bankrupt at that point. I had no way to stop him.”
“Bankrupt?”
“To put it simply, Aberration Slayer I was angry─angry that I had made him into a vampire.”
“…”
“’Tis no complicated matter. For my part, I felt that I had bestowed upon him something for which he could never thank me enough. Not only had I brought him back to life, I had made him the thrall of my mighty self. ’Tis an absurd attitude to take after having done so out of loneliness, but that is something I am able to regret only now, after four hundred years. I truly felt that way then. If anything, I meant to be modest about it, telling myself, No, I shan’t be so childish as to demand his gratitude. I merely did what was proper.”
But I was off the mark.
Quite off the mark, regretted Shinobu.
After returning him to life from just one hand─after Aberration Slayer I had been given new life as a vampire, the very first words he spoke were:
“‘You monster─how dare you deceive us!’”
“…”
A demon, and not a god.
She’d been found out─to be a vampire.
That must have been what “deceive” meant.
At least in part.
But he probably also meant something else by it─
“─‘So it was all your fault!’ he shouted. Perhaps it was more rebuke than shout. That’s when he spoke his bit about ‘divine punishment.’ By continuing to pretend to be a god, I brought down divine punishment─he claimed.”
“So in other words, he made everything your fault, from the people being spirited away to all the rest? He was saying the Darkness was part of your plan or something… Well, I mean─I can kind of understand why he’d think that, but─”
His sense of scale was off.
Even if he was the leader of a band of experts, even if he knew real gods, he surely hadn’t ever dealt with an aberration of Shinobu’s─Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade’s caliber. And being forcefully brought back to life via his remaining right hand after being engulfed by this mysterious Darkness and disappearing─it would have been strange if he did stay on an even keel.
The fact that he’d been regrown from his hand, especially, concerned his very identity as a human─they say that planarians can regenerate forever, and an earthworm that’s split in two turns into two earthworms… But where do you find your sense of self when that happens to you?
An impossible question to answer─
Had been put directly to him.
“So─what did you do? No matter what your reason for saving him, you did it all the same. You couldn’t have stayed calm when he said that to you.”
“No, ’twas not that bad. Correcting his misconception was a bother, so I let him say whatever he wished. He may be confused and deluded now, I thought, but he would calm down eventually.”
’Twas similar to the way I’d pouted here in these ruins, she remarked.
“…”
I wasn’t naive enough to buy that it mustn’t have been that bad just because she was making it sound like it really wasn’t.
How Shinobu thought then.
And what she thought─I couldn’t begin to imagine.
Since I’d never met him
face-to-face, there was no way for me to know exactly how delicate Aberration Slayer I was, but at the end of the day, Shinobu was just as sensitive as him.