Shaking my head as if to clear it, I looked at the others and then forced a smile. “Let’s grab the stuff and get inside,” I said, making myself think about what we were here to do and not the circumstances behind the fact.
I went to the car to retrieve my duffel bag full of essentials—clothes; makeup; hair products; the popular girl’s bible, Cosmopolitan; and a few odds and ends. My thinking was that if I could bring some sort of normalcy to our lives then we might not slip into utter depression. Maybe it was denial, but focusing on something else for the meantime made me feel better.
As I walked back toward the house, I noticed that everyone was lined up outside the front door like it was a run-through at the beginning of a football game. Except no one would be cheering for me.
God, I missed cheer.
Especially because the squad was performing the routine we’d been practicing for weeks at the upcoming game. During one of our many stops along the way, I’d called my coach to let them know there’d been a family emergency and I’d be out for a while.
Knowing that I was letting down my squad made me feel horrible. But given the situation, I couldn’t see any way around it. It’s not like I could put my life, and the lives of the rest of the coven, in jeopardy just so I could cheer on our starting lineup. I texted Trish, Bethany, and Sofia to let them know as well, and kept things just as vague. Beth and Sofia asked if I was okay, while Trish asked if she could fill in for me as captain. I agreed, although it hurt to give up my position.
But I was clear with Trisha: my hiatus wouldn’t last forever.
“Lead the way,” Sascha said, motioning to the door in front of us. Her arms were full of bags, pillows, blankets, and food—all things we’d picked up along the way. I decided it was a bad idea to go back to everyone’s houses to get their things, so we’d gone on an impromptu shopping spree at a Target after safely fleeing town. There was no telling how long we’d be gone and people needed the basic necessities. We used the credit card my parents had given me for emergencies, since I figured they would’ve agreed that this was one. As Jasmine shifted under the weight of her bags, I shuffled forward to let us inside.
“Hand me the keys and I’ll open her up,” Fallon said, stepping in front of me and holding out his hand.
“I don’t have keys,” I said.
“Are you kidding me? Then why did we come here?” he asked me with a sneer. Then he got an evil look in his eyes and said excitedly, “Do we get to break some windows?”
“No, dunce. We don’t need keys to get in,” I said, placing my hand up in front of me, fingertips just inches away from the door.
For as long as I’d been coming here, our doors had never been locked in the traditional sense. No lock. No key. No worries. My parents explained to me that the cabin’s inhabitants had always had a unique way of coming and going. We used our own magical distinctiveness to gain access to the house.
See, a person’s magic has its own kind of identity. Sort of like magical DNA. And our cabin was effectively closed to those who didn’t share our lineage. In a way it was nice. I never had to worry about losing my keys.
I closed my eyes and concentrated on letting my powers flow through my fingertips and penetrate the invisible barrier that was surrounding the house. Within seconds, I could feel it disappear, and then I reached out and turned the knob.
“Home sweet home,” I said as I stepped inside, smelling the familiar scent of my family’s cabin.
I wandered into the living room just off to my left. Everyone else piled in after me, going off to explore the house. “You can take any room except for the one at the end of the hall upstairs,” I said, still checking to see if anything had changed since I’d last been there.
“The princess doesn’t want the peasants staying in her room?” Fallon asked sarcastically from the hallway behind me.
“That room was my parents’,” I said, shooting him a look. That was all I had to say to shut him up, and I appreciated the silence that followed. “Like I said, you can have any room except for that one. Linens and blankets are in the closet near the bathroom and the couch pulls out into a bed. ”
I walked around the living room, running my hand across various objects as I rediscovered my family’s old vacation house. The sofa had the same soft feel I always loved as a kid. Now I realized that the microfiber was a pretty common fabric, but back then, I used to call it “the marshmallow couch” because it was so soft.
Then I made my way over to the fireplace, where we used to pile up on the floor on chilly nights. When I was old enough to carry in the firewood, it became my job to add logs before the embers burned out. I took the responsibility very seriously and never once let the fire get too low. It wasn’t exactly cool enough outside to need additional heat yet, but old habits die hard and I found myself with the urge to gather up wood before the sun went down.
Instead, I headed upstairs, passing by kids as I went. A few of the older ones were arguing over who was staying in which of the three other rooms, but I was too focused on what I was doing to get involved.
When I arrived at my parents’ door, I placed my hand on the cool surface. I almost knocked before I remembered that I didn’t need permission to go inside because it was empty. Pushing the door open, I stepped across the threshold, almost expecting to see my parents, unpacking and having the little private conversations they had whenever they thought they were alone. But the room was silent. So silent that I could hear the air flowing into my ears, which was incredibly unnerving. Needing to fill the empty space with something other than my thoughts, I picked up the remote control and pressed the power button.
Flipping through the channels, I eventually landed on an old movie that had been one of my mom’s favorites. I just couldn’t seem to get away from the memory of her, so I gave in and snuggled back onto the pillows on my parents’ bed. I watched as kids were chased down by a family of bad guys while searching for hidden treasure. In the movie, the misfits managed to avert booby traps and close calls until they foiled the evildoers and saved the day at the end.
I allowed myself to get swept up in the drama and thought about how we weren’t much different from the kids on the screen. We were on the run from people who wanted to hurt us, and things were likely to get worse before they got better.
As they cut to a commercial break, my mind was brought back to reality and I got up to go to the closet where my parents kept the bed stuff. I grabbed some sheets and pillowcases and started to make the bed. When I was done, I lay back down and breathed in the scent of the pillows deeply. The strong odor of detergent filled my nose, but underneath was the hint of something else. My parents. I could smell the tangy citrus of my mom’s perfume and the muskiness of my dad’s cologne. After so many years the aroma had faded but not completely. Still, I would recognize it anywhere and it made me feel like they were there with me.
I began to cry, lightly at first and then harder, until my body shook like an earthquake. Thank God I’d closed the door, because I didn’t want the others to see me like this. Weak and tired and broken. It was important that I kept up appearances and at least looked like I had it together. Even if I didn’t feel that way on the inside.
The movie started back up again and I forced myself to pay attention. Any escape from reality was sorely needed right now. Wiping tears from my now blotchy face, I watched as one of the boys gave his friends an inspirational speech to keep them going. My mom had told me once why she loved the movie so much. She explained that the kids were all unlikely heroes. People who took on challenges much bigger than they were and never gave up, even when winning the fight seemed impossible.
Mom had said that those were the qualities she’d always tried to instill in me.
I sat up straight on the bed and took a deep breath, feeling as if there were no coincidences in this world. This movie was a reminder of what I needed to do.
Was I completely justified in my feelings? Of course. Did my mom’s death make m
e ache like a vital part of me had been ripped from my body? Definitely. But should I let it destroy me and everything I’d ever worked for? Hell no. A hero never bowed down to challenge.
And it was what my mom would have wanted.
I was done crying, alone and hopeless in my room. It was time to take my position as leader of this group. I needed to take my power back. Not just for me but for the rest of the Cleri. Because the shit was about to hit the fan and I wasn’t about to be covered in it.
Chapter Eleven
When I made it back downstairs, I noticed a group of about five sitting in the corner and became curious. A girl named Emory was in the middle of it all and she had the other kids listening to her with rapt attention. I had to admit, I didn’t know Emory very well at all. I think she went to even fewer meetings than I did and seemed to almost blend into her surroundings. Not to say she wasn’t pretty, though; with a full head of wavy red hair and eyes that appeared thoughtful, she was your average girl next door.
What I had noticed about her was that she wore a lot of flowery clothes: shirts with daisies on them, lilac-adorned jumpers, ballet flats topped with roses. She looked fresh off Little House on the Prairie. That is, if the prairie were run by witches, of course.
In the past, she’d seemed more of a listener than a talker, but here she was, commanding a small audience. Because of this, I decided it was about time I got to know her and some of the others a little better. After all, we were going to be squished together in this cabin for an indeterminate amount of time. And it was best to know all my allies.
I watched from a distance as Emory talked quietly to the others. Intrigued by what it was she could be saying, I eventually wandered over to where she sat.
“What we fail to remember in times like these is that the dead aren’t ever truly gone,” she was saying in a soft, soothing voice. “They’re around us all the time. Watching. Keeping us safe. Guiding us to the next right action. So see, in that respect, this isn’t the end. We just need to be open to hearing the messages they have for us and keeping their memories alive. Because it is by tapping in to their power that we honor them.”
I was surprised by what she was saying, but not because I didn’t believe her; I knew from my own dream of my mom that our parents weren’t completely gone. What took me aback was the fact that it was coming from this particular girl. Hers was more than just a faith in life after death. There was no doubt in my mind that Emory was speaking from experience.
“Is my dad here now? Can you see him?” a young girl asked. The hope in her voice was palpable and I had to slow my breathing to keep from getting upset.
Emory nodded. “Of course he’s here,” she said with a smile. The girl returned the grin and I could tell that it had been enough to make her feel better.
“Does he have a message for me?” she asked, her voice squeaking as she squirmed in her seat.
“He loves you and is very proud of you,” Emory answered, a faraway look on her face. “He wants you to be careful and says it’s important that you listen to everything Hadley says. She knows what she’s doing and she will get us through this.”
“Can you tell him I will? And that I love him?” the girl said in a voice barely above a whisper. She paused then, as if she was debating saying something else. Before she could finish though, Emory cut in.
“He knows that you’re sorry, Anna,” Emory said gently. “And he’s sorry too. He doesn’t want you to be sad about this. You’re his greatest creation.”
A single tear dropped down Anna’s face. I thought maybe her heart was breaking at first, but then I realized that what I was witnessing was a healing moment. Letting out a little sniffle, Anna got up and gave Emory a big hug and then headed out of the room and into the sunny yard beyond the door.
“Why don’t you guys go and get something to eat, head outside, and take it easy for a bit?” Emory suggested to the kids captivated in front of her.
I watched as the group dispersed, all looking a lot better off than they had since we’d broken the news to them. I felt major respect for this girl I barely knew, and vowed to take our time at the cabin to get to know the rest of my coven. I was starting to learn that nothing—or no one—was what they seemed.
“Emory, hey. That was amazing,” I said to her once the others were out of earshot. “You are so great with those kids; I think you really made them feel better. How did you do that?”
Emory gave me a shy smile before casting her eyes downward and starting to play with the bracelet adorning her wrist. A string of baby’s breath, from the looks of it. I couldn’t be sure, but the flowers might have been real. “I don’t know. I’ve always sort of been able to do that. I just figured it might help them deal if they knew their parents were okay. Was I wrong?”
She was clearly worried that I might be upset, but that was the last thing on my mind. I was impressed with her maturity and intrigued with these natural powers she seemed to have. “Of course not!” I said soothingly. “In fact, if I’d known you could do that, I would’ve let you break the news to everyone.”
Emory looked up at me, relief washing across her face. I took her by the hand and led her over to the couch. We sat down, folding our legs underneath us like old girlfriends. “Can I ask you something?” She nodded. “Were you telling the truth back there? Can you see them? Our parents, I mean—are they really here?”
Her eyes got big and she looked around to see if the others were listening to our conversation. “Yeah. But I can’t see them in the same way that I can see you guys. It’s like the shadow of them. Like they’re on the periphery, you know?”
“And they talk to you?” I asked, amazed by what I was hearing. It made me think back to my conversation with my mom. I’d been so confused by the encounter and felt totally drained the next morning. I couldn’t imagine doing that on a daily basis. At the same time, how incredible would it be to be able to communicate with the dead on a regular basis? And with those other than your relatives?
“Sort of. They’re not as loud as you and I; it’s more like they’re whispering to me most of the time,” she explained, her face scrunching up as she tried to convey what she was thinking. “I have to really concentrate in order to get what they’re trying to say.”
“Does anyone else know you can do this?” I asked.
“Just my parents and a few of the elder Cleri,” Emory said. “Or they did, at least. People sort of start to look at you weird when you tell them that you see dead people. It’s not nearly as cool as they make it out to be on TV. It’s like a one-way ticket to the loony bin.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Think of who you’re talking to. If anyone would understand having abilities that no one else can wrap their head around, it would be me,” I said with an easy smile. “This is amazing, Emory. It’s what makes you special, and whether or not others see it that way, it’s an incredible power. I have to admit, I’m a little jealous.”
The expression on Emory’s face bloomed into pride. It made me think back to the first time I divulged to another magically inclined person—in my case, my parents—about my additional powers of persuasion. When I realized I wasn’t going to be judged for it, it was like the hole in my heart, which had always been full of fear, was filled up with confidence and acceptance. In other words, the experience had changed my life.
And now, in a way, I was giving that gift to Emory.
“Would you mind if I sent some of the other kids to talk to you if they need to?” I asked. “I have a feeling you might be able to help them in a way that none of the rest of us can.”
I could feel gratitude emanating from her as if it were my own. Who knows, it may have been a combination of what we were both feeling. But it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that our coven had someone who could be a conduit for the other side. And that was an invaluable resource, now that we no longer had access to the elders.
I got up from the couch and smoothed down my cashmere pants, while balancin
g on some dangerously high wedges. Seeing Emory’s powers in action had kind of boggled my mind, and I needed to think about how this could factor into what we’d be doing here at the cabin. I started to walk away, but Emory called me back.
“Hadley? There’s one more thing,” she said, looking me straight in the eyes. “Your mom’s here too, and she’s being really loud about something. She says it’s important that you know this.”
My heart started to race and I looked around as if I would suddenly be able to see her standing with her hands on her hips, waiting for me to pay attention. I hadn’t expected any more messages from my mom, since I’d had the dream the day before. I figured she’d said all she needed to then.
Or maybe I just hadn’t been listening well enough.
“She says that we have to start training. That we’re not ready for what’s coming,” Emory said seriously. Her eyes shifted to a place just over my right shoulder, which caused me to look back too. All I saw was a wall full of family photos surrounding the words painted in gold: “Breathe. Relax. Live.” It had been one of my dad’s favorite sayings.
I turned back to Emory, fully believing that my mom was in the cabin with us. My eyes began to well, but I forced the tears down. I could cry later.
“Hadley, she says that you can’t trust everyone. That there are people you’ll think are good, but they aren’t. She says sometimes you have to listen to your head and not to your heart. Never underestimate your enemies, she says. It will be our downfall.”
“Wait, who can’t I trust?” I asked her, whispering now in case others walked in. If members of our coven had ulterior motives, I couldn’t risk having them know we knew about them.
Emory squinted and then began to wildly look all around us. Finally she settled back on my face. “I’m sorry. She’s gone.”
The depth of my sadness upon hearing this surprised me. It wasn’t like I was even talking to her or seeing her myself, but just knowing that she’d been there and then was gone was like losing her all over again.
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