by Lucy Rinaldi
Five
Paige
I managed to pack a suitcase and get over to Enzo's in order to get everything ready for his arrival. I made sure to pop to the supermarket for some grocery's beforehand. I wanted to make sure the kitchen was stocked with things I liked as well as Enzo. I'm not a fussy eater but I do like certain things when vegging out. Not that I get to do that very often now that I'm a nurse.
Della came over to help me get the house ready. I needed help rearranging a few things. I want him to be able to get around the house without any problems. I doubt he'll thank me for moving his furniture around, nor will he thank me for making his bathroom more accessible for him to be able to shower and bathe easily. Well, easier. But I really hope he understands that I'm just trying to help.
Freddy wasn't too happy when Della told him I'd be staying with Enzo. Everyone knows how I feel about him, and Freddy thought I was crazy for wanting to be in the same house as a man who doesn't feel the same way. I made a big point of telling him that I don't feel that way about Enzo any longer. Freddy laughed so loudly I wanted to punch him! How dare he mock me like that?
As I haven't told anybody that Kyle and I aren't together anymore I lied to my brother and told him that Kyle and I were very happy together and Enzo is just a friend who needs my help. Of course, Freddy told me he'd help Enzo. He thought he'd get a reaction out of me, he did, but not the one he was expecting.
I told him to go for it. That he could clean the house, cook meals for Enzo. Help him to bed, out of bed, into the bath or the shower. His facial expression soon told me he would do no such thing, just as I suspected. He stopped talking about it after that. He just told me to be careful with my heart where Enzo is concerned. Haven't I been doing that since I was ten?
Standing in Enzo's bedroom has my heart pounding out of my chest. How ridiculous is that? Having heart palpitations being in a man's bedroom. But this is Lorenzo Ryker, for Christ's sake!
I've managed to get his room cleaned. Not that it needed it. But he's been in the hospital for days and the place is a little dusty. I notice his cologne on his dresser. I lift it to my nose, close my eyes and breathe in the familiar scent that is Enzo.
“You do know that's really creepy, right?” Shit! I drop the bottle on the wooden floor below me, thankfully it didn't break.
I clasp my hand over my heart. I almost had a heart attack! “Jesus, Del!”
“Do you really think this is a good idea?”
“What?” I ask as I bend down to retrieve the bottle from the floor and place it back on the dresser.
“All of this. Taking care of Enzo. Cleaning his house. And whatever else you've got planned. Freddy is right, this is a very bad idea. You're still in love with him. And don't even try to tell me you're not.”
“I'm not in love with him! I'm a nurse. He needs help but he's too stubborn to let anyone help him. The only reason he agreed to me helping him was because I'm a nurse.”
“Keep telling yourself that, Paige. But you listen to me,” I don't want to listen to her. She's only going to tell me the same thing she's been telling me for years. That I shouldn't pine after a man that will never love me. That I shouldn't help him the way I've agreed to because I'll end up getting my heart broken. “The more you hang around hoping he'll notice you, the more you're going to get hurt. I don't want to see you get hurt, Paige.”
“You worry too much.” I smile while taking her by the shoulders. “I'm here only to help him.”
“By moving in with him for two weeks?”
“It's just easier for... Look,” I sigh and drop my arms by my sides. “I love you to death but please just back off. I'm just trying to do my job. I would do the same for anyone of our friends including you if it were needed.”
She rolls her eyes and walks away from me. Della has always been very opinionated and she's not shy about telling you what she thinks. And believe me, she always thinks she's right. She's right about me being in love with Enzo, but as far as getting my heart broken again, it won't happen. I'm stronger than she gives me credit for.
It isn't long before Sonny arrives and demands we move Enzo's bedroom furniture into the den downstairs. It'll make it easier for Enzo, according to Sonny. He won't have to struggle with the stairs then.
I've told him that Enzo will still have to struggle with the stairs when he needs to shower. That Enzo will be beyond pissed off with him if he does this. The man just rolls his eyes at me and drags Freddy upstairs to help him. I guess this a, “Let's all ignore Paige” day.
Oh. Well. They can't blame me when Enzo threatens to kill them.
I carry on with cleaning, making sure the laundry is washed and dried and put away for him. Listen to me, the way I'm talking anybody would think the place was filthy. It isn't. I don't need to be cleaning the way I am, but I just want everything to be perfect for when Enzo arrives home. That's why I've moved his furniture around, so he can move about the place without knocking into things. I don't want him to be pissed off about anything.
I'm humming happily to myself when I sense a little one behind me. I turn away from the sink with a smile on my face. “Hey, Robyn. Whatcha up to?” Robyn is Callie and Sonny's little girl. Almost four years old and as cute as a button. But unlike her twin brother, she hardly says much. Which is crazy when Todd was the quiet one when they first came to live with Callie.
“Are you gonna make uncle Enzo better? Mommy said you're looking after him.”
“He's getting better, sweetheart. He's going to be fine, and I'm gonna make sure he's okay.”
With a nod of her little head, brown pigtails bouncing, she takes a seat at Enzo's dining table. On her knees, elbows on the table, hands on her cheeks in that way little kids have. She's a thoughtful little girl, always has been.
I remember the day she was brought onto my ward with her brother. They were so scared. Cuts all over their little bodies from the glass that shattered all over them. Nothing serious, though. Thankfully.
I was put in charge of their care, and I took care of them well. They healed fast. Knew I had just days to put my plan in motion, the plan that came to me the second I found out those babies had no family. And that plan was to convince Callie she could be their mother.
And she did become their mother. She fought so very hard for the kids she fell in love with. With the help of the whole town, letters of support and such from family members. But I believe it was the letters of support from her parents that finally convinced the judge. Sidney, Callie's mom, really went all out for Callie. They've never really had a good relationship in the past, but something changed for them one day when Callie went around to her mother's house. They talked about everything according to Callie. Their relationship has been perfect ever since.
Sidney loves those kids, she's the perfect grandmother, and the kids love her just as much. And the fact Callie became miraculously pregnant with baby Donovan, who was born just a month ago, Sidney became even more of a perfect mother.
I take a seat beside Robyn and stroke the back of her hair. “Wanna tell me what's up, peach drop?”
“I get sad sometimes.”
“Sad about what, sweetheart?”
“About my real mommy being in heaven.” Of course, she gets sad. She spent the first three years of her life with her real mother, and although Todd seems to have all but forgotten her, Robyn hasn't. She still wakes up some nights calling out for her. Even a year later.
Callie would never wish for Robyn to completely forget her mother, but she had been told it was more than likely at her young age. And maybe she'll put it all behind her as the years go on, but one thing is for sure, Callie will always tell this beautiful little girl just what a gift her real mother gave her.
“I know it makes you sad sometimes, but she wouldn't want you to be sad,” I tell her while rubbing her back.
She turns to look at me. “Do you think she would be sad that I have a new mommy and that I love her very much?”
“Oh, sweetheart,” I smil
e. “She would be so happy that you're happy, that you are loved and that you love your new mommy. Your other mommy will be looking down on you, happy that you're happy. She wouldn't want you to be sad all the time. She'd want you to smile and play like Todd does.”
A little tear slips from her eye as she reaches for me. I lift her into my arms and hold her close. She's so young, she shouldn't have had to suffer the way she did. Some say it was a blessing that it happened while she was so young. That the pain and the awful memories will fade with time. Unlike a child much older where they never forget the hurt.
I don't know if all that's true, I don't have a child and I've never lost someone I love like that. And I hope I never do.
“I love you auntie Paige.”
“I love you more.”
One day, things are going to be so much better for this little girl. She's going to laugh the way her brother does. She's going to enjoy the times we all come together as one huge family. She's going to be the very heart of it. You mark my words.
Six
Enzo
“So, everything's been moved around, your bedroom is now downstairs, Paige has stocked up the kitchen, and...”
“Wait.” I hold my hand up to my brother. What the hell is talking about? I didn't ask anyone to go over to my place and start moving things around! “What the hell have you been up to?”
Instead of answering he rolls his eyes and continues, “As I was saying. Everything is all set. All we need to do now is wait for the doctor to come by with your release papers and we can get you home.”
And that shit can't come quick enough. I wanna be in my own home... where I can wallow like a pathetic old man. I'm not going to be able to do anything I want to do with my damn life until this cast comes off. I can't work, can't box, this is going to be a damn long two months of healing!
It isn't long before the doc comes by and discharges me. Sonny drives me home, helps me out of the car like I'm some kind of invalid. I wave him away and hobble on my crutches inside the house.
“You're here!” How can I keep a scowl on my face when Robyn and Todd are racing towards me? If there was anything that could make me smile it's my niece and nephew.
“I'm here!” I yell making them squeal happily. They wait patiently for me to flop down on the couch before diving all over me, much to their father's annoyance. Jesus, anyone would think I was damn incapable!
“Jesus Christ, Sonny!” The kids jump in shock. Dammit! I hate scaring them. I pull a funny face, they laugh out loud. Good. I turn back to my brother. “I've got a broken ankle, Sonny, nothing more.” Apart from the now healing cracked ribs, but I can push past that for a while.
“He's just worried about you.”
“I know that, Callie, but don't. I'm fine.” She shouldn't be here, she should be at home with her newborn son, not worrying about me.
I tickle my nephew and niece, avoiding the eye line of Paige. She shouldn't be here, I shouldn't've told her she has to stay with me for two damn weeks. How in the hell am I going to get through the next two weeks without wanting to touch her?
I see her through the corner of my eye, standing in the doorway, arms folded around herself, smile on her gorgeous face. I don't want to look too closely, but I can see she's wearing jeans, and no doubt they're tight as fuck.
She does that shit just to tease me. I know it.
Now is when I realize that's she's always done it. Now is when I realize how long she's been flirting with me, trying to get my attention. All this time I've ignored it while secretly lusting after her.
God, this is never gonna work. I have to make her see that lusting after me will only lead her to heartache. I have to make her hate me, it's the only way for her to move on, for me to save her from the pain of being with me in any way.
I can't risk so much as touching her hand, because if I did, I'd lose myself to her.
A man like me shouldn't be allowed around women like Paige. I ruin everything I touch. Autumn was proof of that. I'm a bastard in every way. I take what I want and when I'm done with it, I drop it like it was nothing to me. That's what I do with women, that's all I'm capable of. Fuckin' them and walking away just as quickly.
Don't get me wrong, I show women the time of their lives. I fuck 'em like no man ever has or will again. I ruin them all and I revel in the game.
Of course, I could indulge in a little bit of Paige. Give her one night she'll never forget. It would be all too easy to take her. Problem is, I don't for one second believe I could be satisfied with just one night. If I take her, I'll want more. Trouble is, I can't give her more. I'm not worth the heartache it would bring her. I'm not capable of giving her what she really wants. All of me.
Paige deserves so much more than a fuck up like me. She deserves the world, and I don't just mean material things, any jackass can give her that. I mean a man's, whole heart. She deserves to be his everything, his one and only.
That man ain't me.
I'm not a bad man deep down. I work hard in everything I do. Whether it firefighting, paramedic, hotel owner, cage fighting, I work hard. I've buried myself in work since my mother died, even more so since Autumn and Charlie died. What the hell do I have to keep my mind occupied now?
I don't talk to Paige even after Sonny and his family have left a few hours later. I forced Sonny to put my shit back where he found it, then he left.
I barely even talk to Paige as the days go on. I don't want her thinking it's okay to get too comfortable with me. I need to show her why she shouldn't want me.
Trouble is, the more of a bastard I am to her, the harder she tries to please me. Seriously, what is it with this girl? Is she a fucking sadist?
Looks like I'm gonna have to step it up. Cruel to be kind and all that.
Seven
Paige
I'm so tired. I am so, so tired. I can't remember the last time I had any real sleep. I've been taking care of Enzo for over a week now. Helping him with everything he could possibly need. Cooking, cleaning, running errands. He still won't let me help him bathe. But I guess that's a good thing. Plus, he treats me like crap. I should have known nothing would change. But I stay because I'm not the kind of girl to quit on anything
In between helping Enzo with everything he needs, I've been helping my mom plan her wedding. Callie is making my mom's wedding dress. She's brilliant at it, she made Emilee and Della's wedding dresses, and my mom was in love with them. So, of course, when I asked Callie if could find it in her heart to make my moms, just as mom asked, she jumped at the chance.
Aimee, the local bridal boutique owner, and one of my best friends is making Layah's and my bridesmaid dresses. We have dress fittings tomorrow. But I'm not even sure I'll be able to stand up straight. My whole body aches, so much so it's becoming painful.
All I want is one night where I can sleep more than two hours. I don't think I've slept more than twenty-eight hours in two weeks. My mind just will not shut down. I'm constantly on the go, constantly worried that Enzo needs something. In all honesty, I don't even know how I'm still standing.
Not only is my body becoming weaker and weaker, I'm beginning to hallucinate. I keep seeing my father everywhere I turn. Every time I leave the house, I see him. It freaked me out at first, but then I told myself, He's not really there, Paige, he's in prison. It's all in your mind. You're tired and you need to sleep. I blink a couple of times and he's gone. That's how I know he's not really there.
I don't blame Enzo for the way I am right now, but he's been such a bastard to me, won't let me rest more than a few minutes before he needs something else. Of course, he lets me sleep, but like I said, it's hard to do that when my mind won't shut down.
Right now, I'm trying to cook dinner for Enzo, he had a restless night. The pain in his ankle doesn't seem to be easing up. And he kept me up most of the night calling my name to get him painkillers, water, help him out of bed, into bed, etc. He's slept most of the afternoon away while I cleaned the house top to bottom. And
I figured that he could do with a decent meal. But standing here chopping salad to go with his lasagna, I'm finding it hard to keep my eyes open.
Just a little longer, Paige, and you can sleep.
“You okay?” Shit, he startled me! “Shit, you're bleeding!” I am?
I can't feel anything, not even when he grabs my hand and pulls me over to the sink.
“You need to be more careful!” Is he really telling me off like I'm some little girl who did something bad?
I snatch my hand away from him and turn off the tap while grabbing a cloth and wrapping it around my index finger. I must have cut into it while dozing off.
“It was an accident. I'm going to clean up my hand. I'll be back in a moment. Dinners almost ready.”
“I'm not into eating blood covered salad.”
I sigh deeply. Why does he always have to be such an ass to me? I'm tired and that's making me emotional. I really could use a friend right now. I can't sleep for shit, and I no longer know what to do about it.
“I didn't mean to ruin...” I swallow past the lump in my throat. I don't need this right now, and I don't need these damn tears threatening to fall from my eyes. “I'll fix it as quick as I can.”
I manage to grab a band-aid and wrap it around my finger. All I've really done is scratch it. Not need for stitches. I then take myself back to the kitchen. Enzo has thrown out the salad and wiped the counters down. I feel bad about that. He doesn't say anything when I serve him up lasagna and garlic bread with a beer. Not that he should be drinking, but he won't listen to my advice so it's really up to him.
He isn't too pleased that I haven't eaten anything. I just sit pushing the food around my plate. I'm trying to ignore the looks he's giving me, but what does he want me to say?
After he's finished eating, I help him up to his room. He said he just wanted to lie down. Once he's settled, I take myself to my room and run a hot bath.