"Ian, what the hell are you doing?" Stasz replied.
"Don't argue with me on this. He'll vaporize us as soon as we pull out. I'm staying behind with the mine as a guarantee to make sure he doesn't. Now dump that mine and just get the hell out of here."
Afraid that Smith might try a desperate move, Ian held him with his gaze. "An even swap, Smith. They get away and I'll surrender the mine and this trigger, then you can do as you see fit."
A flicker of a smile crossed Smith's face.
"Most noble on your part, Doctor."
Ian felt the airlock open behind him.
"You sure you want to do this?" Stasz asked. Ian looked at him from the corner of his eye. Stasz was floating in the entry way, the ugly black mine tucked under his arm.
"Just toss it over here, get back on the controls and punch it the hell out of here."
"Ian?"
"Goddamm it, do it!" Ian shouted.
"Thanks for saving my retirement," Stasz said sadly, "I'll see they put your name on a gold plaque." And with a reluctant gesture Stasz gave the bomb an underhand toss.
"Ian, my love, you can't!"
With a wild shout Shelley barged past Stasz and ricocheted off a bulkhead, knocking the slowly tumbling bomb off course. She came straight at Ian, her arms outstretched like a distraught lover reaching for her mate.
She slammed into Ian even as the bomb drifted past him, just out of reach. He could see Smith leaping from the other side, grasping both for the bomb and the alien swizzle stick which had been knocked out of his hand by the impact of a sobbing Shelley.
"Shelley, let go!"
Floating in the zero gravity, the two men slammed into each other—each grappling for a hold.
"Really, Smith," Ian shouted, "two Ph.D.'s should find a better way to settle their disputes." He pulled back his right hand for a roundhouse punch.
lan's entire body was thrown into the blow, and Ian was amazed to see blood spray even as he recoiled away.
He slammed up against the opposite wall to be met by a solid blow to his lower back. He had hit the mine, driving it into the wall and activating the last switch.
"Warning, warning, you have preactivated the Clearance Assured AB-23A thermomine. We are happy that you have decided to go with the best bang in the universe. And remember to contact our quality control people if you have any problem.
"Warning, Warning..."
The high-pitched voice, sounding like a video advertiser, droned on as Ian finally managed to grab a handhold and stopped his wild gyrations. Smith was dazed, and floated before him like a damaged ship that had lost all power to move or react.
"Ian, let's go!" Shelley's hands were yanking on his leg; a sudden tug pulled him back toward the airlock.
She pulled him through the airlock door and hit a button on the control panel; the door slammed shut.
"Stasz, punch us the hell out of here," Shelley screamed.
"The artifact," Ian shouted. "Wait, it's the only thing we have! I've got to go back."
Ian reached over to hit the airlock door release. There was a faint shudder as Stasz cut free from the docking port. Instantly the prejump acceleration kicked on, pushing Ian and Shelley against the opposite wall.
Reaching out Smith snatched the slowly tumbling mine. Pushing off from the wall, he floated down the corridor and stopped at a viewing port.
They were already free and accelerating into their jump.
With his left hand Smith touched his nose and winced with pain.
Damn it, that little guy broke his nose.
But that little guy would be vapor in fairly short order.
He reached over to a comlink board and got ready to call in the command to activate a weapons battery. The mine kept shrieking out its warning and he suddenly realized that the last thing he needed was for that warning to be going on in the background. Some of his "priests" were feeling a little uppity this time around, the way he imagined the pope would feel if God showed up and tried to take over the business. The last thing he needed was for them to think there had been a screw up. First the mine, then a couple of disabling shots.
"Warning, warning..."
"All right, shut up, damn it."
He examined the six numbered levers that were now in the down position. Simple enough. He grabbed hold of the last one and flicked it up.
"Congratulations, you have activated the final trigger. If you wish to deactivate it, please check your service manual at once. To avoid accidents, be sure the manual is the correct one for your model," the voice said cheerfully. "We advise that you now leave the area. Ninety seconds, eighty-nine, eighty-eight..."
Smith let go of the mine and it hovered in front of him.
"Oh, shit."
Chapter 16
"Earthbound, Ian?"
"How long would it take, Stasz?"
"Six months seventeen days."
Ian did a quick calculation. That would put them in ten days before registration for the fall semester. Perfect! He could throw together a syllabus and be ready to go. Hell, for that matter they might even want him at Nouveau Harvard after his exploits.
Ian looked around at the others. Smith's system was ten billion kilometers behind them and the initial euphoria over their escape was wearing off.
"What's wrong, Shelley? We could be back in time for fall classes."
"Ian, I just remembered something."
"Yeah, what?"
"Did you file for a waiver from the mandatory recertification seminar?"
"The what?"
"Every third year all professors have to be recertified with six credits of education courses. The seminar was scheduled for the month after we left. You had to file before we left."
"Damn it, Shelley, what are you talking about? Anyhow, you're my assistant, you should have taken care it."
"I tried to tell you before we left. You had to file at the Provincial Office in person, at the Dean of Education's office."
"Hell, Shelley, they should allow me the waiver now. I can claim life experience. Damn, with all the data I'm bringing back, I can finally get published! I might even make it on the late-night videos. That should be worth six lousy education credits."
"Sorry, Ian, this seminar was on proper use of forms and the motivation of athletics students. They won't let you get a waiver."
"What the hell do you mean!"
"Ian," Ellen interjected, "remember the Chancellor said we all had to follow proper channels."
"And I suppose you did."
"But of course," she said with a self-confident snicker.
"And you never bothered to remind me."
"You should know what's important in education. Your certification is your problem, not mine."
He could see the triumph in her eyes.
"Ian, I hate to interrupt, but I'm picking up a faint beacon. It's way the hell over toward the course for the galactic core, several light-years out. But damn, is it powerful to get this far!"
Stasz turned around in his seat and looked at Ian expectantly.
Ian looked at Richard, but he was already out of it. There was no sense in even asking Elijah.
He looked at Ellen and smiled.
"Well, Miss Certification, looks like you're going to miss the next semester, as well!"
"Ian, you wouldn't!"
"I can tell you one thing I've read the paperwork on. According to the grant, I'm in command of this ship so I need not be democratic."
He looked past Ellen and gave a command that he had long fantasized about. "Full speed ahead, Stasz."
"Oh, by the way, Ian," Richard said while stirring from his lethargic stupor, "can you explain what the hell this is? Shelley said she picked it up in the corridor while you and Smith were wrestling about in such a deplorable fashion. She gave it to me thinking it came from my late lamented drinking kit."
Richard held the alien artifact in his hand. Ian shot a quick look over to Elijah, who sat silent, as if t
he object were a mystery to him as well.
"Oh, it just fell out of my pocket," Ian responded lamely as he rushed over to grab the most valuable artifact known to Man.
"Curious looking." Richard held it up for everyone to see. "What the hell is this blue button for?"
"Don't!"
Too late! With an exclamation of pain Richard dropped the rod after a flicker of flame shot out the opposite end.
Ian picked it up and nervously pressed the blue button. An inch or so of bright blue flame shot out the opposite end.
"Ian, what the hell are you doing with a cigarette lighter?" Shelley asked. "You don't even smoke."
"Oh, just saving the Earth with it," Ian said evenly. He turned and walked out of the room.
A cigarette lighter, he had faked out the most powerful man in the universe with a goddamn alien cigarette lighter—and his laughter echoed through the ship.
Alone in the main cabin, he punched into the ship's computer and in fairly short order the first analysis came in on the beacon. It looked like L-5 319!
He remembered that one. Even as he started to call up the data he heard the scuffle of boots on the deck.
"Come on over, as long as it isn't Ellen."
He didn't look up. He was bent over the screen checking the data.
There was a faint smell of perfume. He looked around.
"Oh, hi, Shelley. This is going to be a good one. This is a unit I always wanted to meet. It's a bunch of Tolkien buffs. Know what that is? Why, they were people who loved a most interesting form of literature popular in the twentieth century. Say, Shelley... Shelley."
He turned around. Good lord, she was undressing right in front of him.
He tried to stammer a protest, but before he could form any words she had kicked aside the last of her clothing to reveal a tight teddy.
"Shelley, w-why don't we talk about 319?" Ian stammered.
"Let's not, Dr. Lacklin," she said softly. And, reaching past him, she turned the machine off.
Ian thought about the flash they had seen just before jump out, and wondered if it had taken Smith.
But then Shelley managed to drive that thought away, as well. Suddenly he realized that exciting as the voyage had been so far, it was definitely going to get better.
About The Author
William R. Forstchen, who makes his home in Oakland, Maine, was born in 1950. Educated by Benedictine monks, he considered the calling of the priesthood but decided instead to pursue a career in history. Completing his B.A. in education at Rider College, he went on to do graduate work in the field of counseling psychology.
William was a history teacher for eight years and currently devotes his time to writing, educational affairs and the promotion of the peaceful exploration of space. William lives with his wife, Marilyn, their dog, Ilya Murometz, and Tanya the cat.
He recently led a group of fifty high school students to the Soviet Union which presented a resolution passed by the Maine State Legislature calling for a Soviet/American manned mission to Mars.
William's interests include iceboating, Hobie Cat racing, sailing, skiing, pinball machines, Zen philosophy, and participation in Civil War battle reenactments as a private in the 20th Maine Volunteer Infantry.
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