by Amy Rognlie
❧
Two days later, Raine stood on the deck of the Capernaum once again, hardly able to quell the thrill of excitement running through her. She glanced up at Ben. “How long do you think it will take us to find Paul?”
An expression flickered across his face that made her uneasy, but he responded cheerfully enough, “Well, he left us a pretty good clue to follow.”
Raine smiled as she thought of Uncle John and Aunt Grace. It would be good to see them again. A sudden thought popped into her mind. “Where will you be staying, Ben?”
He frowned, staring over her shoulder into the distance. “I haven’t decided yet.”
His tone was so abrupt that Raine’s heart sank. She turned back to gaze at the sea once again.
Surely he’s not sorry that he promised to help me look for Paul, she thought. To her chagrin she felt tears begin to gather. Maybe something came up and he doesn’t know how to tell me. . .or maybe he just doesn’t want to. . .
“You don’t have to help me find Paul,” she muttered, staring blindly at the water. She felt his surprise as he pivoted to look at her.
Pulling her around to face him, he asked, “Why did you say that, Raine?”
“It just seems like you aren’t very happy about it, so I thought maybe you were sorry that you had promised me you would help.” Her voice was more petulant than she intended.
Ben winced. “I’m sorry it seemed that way, Raine. I really do want to help you find Paul. I just have a lot of things going on right now that need my attention.”
Raine shrugged, feeling rather childish. “I shouldn’t have even mentioned it.”
Ben cupped her chin in his hand and smiled down at her. “We’ll find him,” he said finally. “Don’t worry, Raine Ellen.” Brushing her forehead with a soft kiss, he left to attend to his duties.
Raine had not missed the passion that had flared briefly in his eyes. She stood at the railing a while longer, daydreaming. What would it be like to be held in his strong arms, his lips meeting hers tenderly. . .
She wrinkled her brow as she remembered the cold look on his face earlier, but then she remembered again the tenderness in his voice when he said her name. Surely he cared for her. Don’t worry, Raine Ellen, he had said.
Raine Ellen. She closed her eyes in sudden confusion. How did Ben know her middle name? Paul had not been in the habit of calling her Raine Ellen.
The disfigured face of the man in New York popped into her mind. Shaking her head as if to clear out the suddenly disturbing thoughts, she sank down onto a nearby coil of rope. Father, she cried, please show me Your way. I want to trust Ben, and I need to find Paul, but. . .
. . .I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths they they have not known. . . The Scripture from Isaiah echoed in her mind, and with it came peace. “Thank You, Lord,” she breathed. Praying quietly, she poured out her thoughts and feelings to her ever-loving Father.
Opening her eyes at last, she was surprised to see Ben standing in front of her, a look of interest on his serious face.
“I’m not interrupting you, am I?” he asked hesitantly.
She shook her head.
“I just wanted to make you aware that a storm is coming.”
She glanced quickly to the north, surprised to see a roiling mass of dark clouds. She hadn’t even noticed when the sky had become overcast.
“I don’t think it will be too bad, but you need to get off the deck. Are you afraid?” he asked, holding her shoulders lightly.
Looking up into his eyes, Raine pondered his question. Yes, I’m afraid that I shouldn’t love you so much, her heart cried. “No, I’m not afraid of the storm,” she answered out loud, watching in fascination as his eyes slowly darkened.
“Don’t look at me that way, Raine,” he growled. Pulling her into his arms, he drew her to him. Raine could feel his heart thudding as her head rested against the warmth of his chest. Releasing her abruptly, he caressed her face with his eyes. “Go to your cabin, Raine.” His command was gentle. “I’ll have Sully check on you later.”
Mesmerized by his touch, she obediently turned to go. Reaching her cabin, she walked over to the small porthole. Surely Ben wouldn’t lie to me. A hint of his aftershave lingered to tease her senses as she stared unseeingly at the turbulent waters. My heart trusts him, but my mind is not so sure, she mused. She flung herself down on her bunk and began to pray.
Raine awoke to a sharp knock on the door. Blinking in confusion as she saw sunlight streaming through the porthole, she padded to the door.
“Good morning, Sunshine!” Ben’s blue eyes sparkled as they noticed her tousled hair. “I shouldn’t have worried about you, Raine. You slept through the whole storm, didn’t you?”
“I guess so.” She was still groggy. Looking down self-consciously at her rumpled dress, she realized she must have fallen asleep while praying last night.
Ignoring her discomfort, Ben went on cheerily. “Well, everything went fine, and we’ll be in Boston tomorrow, right on schedule. Do you feel like eating breakfast?”
Raine stared at him for a moment. “I need a few minutes to get ready,” she said finally.
“Good. I’ll meet you in my quarters in ten minutes.” Swiftly kissing her on the lips, he was gone.
In his quarters? Touching her lips, Raine backed into her cabin. She groaned as she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Several deep brown curls had worked themselves loose and were hanging down her back. Her cheeks were still rosy with sleep, and her dress was hopelessly wrinkled.
Sighing as she began to undo her hair, she pondered Ben’s kiss. We need to discuss some things before we go any further, she decided. There are just too many things that don’t seem to fit together.
Peering through the open door that led to his quarters twenty minutes later, she saw that he had cleared his desk. A steaming teapot and a tray of crumpets sat waiting where a mound of papers usually resided. “I thought just the two of us could have breakfast together this morning.” He grinned at her in delight as her stomach growled loudly. “Do you think we have enough food?”
She moved into the room, leaving the door open behind her. “If you were a gentleman, you would have ignored that.”
He laughed, and her heart ached. She wanted so much to believe in him; she hated to wipe the happiness from his face by questioning him. . . Halfway through breakfast, though, she decided to plunge in. “Ben, how did you find me?”
“My heart led me to you, darlin’,” he teased, then laughed as she blushed. “Actually, I was wondering when you would get around to asking me that.”
“I guess I’ve been so caught up with what you told me about Paul that I haven’t given much thought to how you found me in the first place,” she confessed, relieved that he seemed so open about it.
“Well,” Ben began, leaning back in his chair. “Paul served on several of my ships at various times. He was a top-notch sailor, and a great conversationalist to boot.”
Raine smiled at this, fondly remembering the long talks she and Paul had often had.
“After a while,” Ben continued, “Paul and I began to develop a real friendship. He often came to my quarters, and we would talk late into the night. You were one of his favorite topics of conversation,” he added, smiling at her.
She wrinkled her nose, asking the question that had been bothering her for some time. “Then how could you have possibly missed the fact that we were brother and sister?”
For a long moment, Ben studied the bite of cheese he held on his fork. “I’ve asked myself the same question, Raine,” he said at last. He shifted his gaze back to hers. “I have finally come to the conclusion that Paul purposely misled me.”
“What?” Raine was incredulous. “Why would he do that?”
“I don’t know. The only thing I could come up with was that maybe he was trying to protect you.”
“Protect me from what?”
His index finger traced the
wet ring his tea cup had made on the desktop. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “He told me his name was Paul Oliver.”
“He didn’t use his own name?” She shook her head slowly. “I suppose if he would have gone by Paul Thomas, you would have known right away that we were related. I guess I really don’t know much about the person Paul was after he left home,” she concluded sadly. “But I still can’t figure out why he never wrote me any more letters after that one from Boston. The last letter I received from Paul was postmarked June 6, 1900.”
“1900! I didn’t even meet Paul until 1901, then the Aramathea sank in 1903.” Ben was astonished. “I looked for you for three years, so that means you haven’t heard from Paul in. . .six years?”
Raine nodded. “That’s why I was so shocked when you gave me the locket. I had given up hope. But how did you find me?” she asked, anxious to hear the rest of the story.
“I first met Paul on the Galilee. He was new to the crew, and I keep a pretty sharp watch on the men. I don’t question them about their past, but I expect them to do an honest day’s work for me.” Ben explained. “Paul never talked much about his past, except you, and I didn’t pry. Once in a while he would mention something that made me wonder what had happened, but I never asked.”
He shook his head before continuing. “One day after we had become quite close friends, Paul showed me the locket. He didn’t give it to me then, but told me that it contained a message for you. He made me promise that I would find you and give it to you if something ever happened to him.”
“When was that?”
“It was before we set sail on the Aramathea. I don’t know what prompted him to ask me at that time,” Ben added thoughtfully.
Am being pursued. The phrase from the message in the locket flitted through her mind. “Could Paul have been running from someone, and he was afraid that the person would harm me as well?” she wondered out loud. “Maybe that’s what he meant by ‘am being pursued’.”
“I just don’t know.”
“Anyway, how in the world did Paul expect you to find me?”
Ben smiled at her over his glass. “He showed me your photograph, for one thing. I used to look at it every night while Paul and I were talking. After a while, I was pretty familiar with your features.”
Raine looked down in embarrassment. She knew what photograph Ben was referring to. She had had it taken when she was eighteen, and had given it to Paul on his birthday.
That’s how Ben knew my middle name, she realized with swift insight, remembering what she had written on the back of the large photograph. “To my one and only—Love, Raine Ellen.” Raine had meant her one and only brother, but she could see how the inscription might be taken wrong.
She glanced up at Ben when he chuckled softly. “I memorized every line of your lovely face, Raine.”
She involuntarily covered the birthmark on her temple, feeling her cheeks grow hot. This man had a way of making her feel things she wasn’t accustomed to feeling.
“Other than the image of your face stamped on my memory, I didn’t have much to go on. Paul had given me the address of your home in St. Albans, of course—but when I went there, your father told me you were gone and refused to tell me anything more. He practically slammed the door in my face.”
Raine shook her head. Oh Papa, what a mess you’ve made.
Ben took her hand. “I guess it was fate that I found you, then,” he said lightly. “After I reached the dead end in St. Albans, I didn’t know where else to look. I had pretty much given up hope of ever finding you—and then after all these years, I saw you on the wharf. Something about your face compelled me to look closer, and well, you know the rest.”
Raine felt a thrill of excitement go through her as Ben explained how he had found her. “I don’t believe in fate, Ben,” she stated with conviction. “I believe that God allowed you to find me when the time was right.”
He looked thoughtful. “That may be, Raine,” he said slowly, gently pressing her hand to his lips.
❧
El Paso County, Colorado
The rain pounded relentlessly, turning the thirsty prairie land of the Crooked P Ranch into one huge mud puddle. Unsea-sonable rains had begun two weeks earlier. The constant dripping showed no signs of letting up as Tom paced back and forth in frustration.
Finally dropping into his chair in disgust, he absently rubbed his fingertips over the still-sensitive scar on his cheek. I’m going to go crazy if I can’t get out of here soon, he told himself. After keeping himself busy with all of the things he could think of to do inside, there was nothing left to do but wait for the rain to subside. This must be how Noah felt, he thought without humor.
The idea crossed his mind to go to the bunkhouse, but he decided he was in no mood for the never-ending jokes and loud disagreements that he was sure to find there. His eyes wandered to the bookcase. He sighed. “I’ve read every single one of those books at least twice,” he complained to the empty room, knowing from experience that if he didn’t find something to occupy his mind, his thoughts would become too painful. Heaving himself out of his chair, he walked to the window once again, swearing softly as the rain picked up its intensity.
As he turned away sharply, his eye fell on the large Bible lying on the bookshelf. Deliberately, he went to the kitchen and poured himself a fresh cup of coffee, then returned once again to the warm living room. Drawn like a magnet to the Book that he had not opened in years, he took it down with reluctance, blowing the dust off the worn leather cover. He hated himself for trembling, but he could not help it as he turned to the inscription he knew was written on the first page. Though he knew it by heart, Tom read it again through eyes blurred with tears. Closing the Bible, he laid his head down and wept. I don’t know how to come back to You after all this time, he cried in his heart. God, help me. . .
He raised his head, glancing down as he felt the heavy weight of the Bible in his lap. He must have fallen asleep. Rising, he placed the Bible back on the shelf. The rain pattered a gentle lullaby as he blew out the lamp.
four
Raine woke with a start. Today the Capernaum would arrive in Boston! Rolling over, she reflected on what she had learned the day before. There were still so many unanswered questions. Why had she suddenly stopped hearing from Paul so long ago if he were alive and well? Why had he used an assumed name?
She had known right away why Paul had chosen to go by Paul Oliver; their mother’s father, their beloved grandfather, had been named Oliver Cox. That much made sense to her. But what did he want me to find in Boston? And what did the water erase? She fingered the locket that hung around her neck, recalling one of their last conversations.
“I’ll prove that I’m innocent, Raine,” Paul vowed before he left. “Papa may have disowned me, but one day he’ll have to eat his words. Then I’ll never come back, even if he begs me to.”
Raine was shocked at the bitterness in her brother’s voice. “Paul—”
“Come with me, Ray,” he pled.
She wavered, but in the end decided she had to stay. “Where would we go?” she asked, tears flowing down her face. “How would we support ourselves?” She shook her head. “No, you’ll be better off on your own for now. But I’ll find you after a little while, and then we’ll be together again.”
She hadn’t known then she too would be leaving her father so soon, making her own way in the world. That had been so many years ago. “I’m finally coming, Paul,” she whispered.
The Capernaum slipped silently into the harbor like a turtle sliding off a rock. Unable to stop herself, Raine scanned the crowded wharf. Stop it, Raine, she chided herself. Paul doesn’t even know that you’re on this ship, much less in Boston. She tried to ignore the thought that her brother might not even be alive. God had brought her here for a reason.
❧
“Good morning, Sunshine!” Ben greeted her as she walked through the door of his quarters. He always felt like his day had begun when she
walked through the door. “Are you ready for the big search to begin?”
“More than ready!”
“I’ll be done in a minute.” He indicated some papers on his desk. “Then I’ll be free to escort you to your uncle’s house.”
Raine smiled her thanks. Choosing a large leather chair, she sat down and closed her eyes. Ben could tell she was trying to quell her excitement and nervousness. He stood up and picked up her bags. “Are you ready to go?”
She was on her feet in an instant. “Lead on, kind sir!”
They bounced and jounced over the stone-paved streets for what seemed hours before Ben stopped the carriage in front of a large brick house on Joy Street. He heard Raine gave a sigh of relief as she craned her neck to view the old house.
“It’s beautiful,” she breathed, taking in the well-cared-for lawns and sparkling flower beds. Ben saw a look of peace settle over her face as she turned to him. “Would you please come in and meet my family?” she asked. “I know they would like to meet you.”
Ben squeezed her hand. “I would love to.”
The huge front door flew open. “Raine!” A tall, slim woman rushed to the carriage.
“Aunt Grace!” Raine was out of the carriage and in her aunt’s arms in a flash.
Pushing Raine away after a moment, Grace looked her niece up and down. “You’re the picture of your mother,” she cried, pulling Raine into her embrace once again.
“Ahem.” Ben looked beyond Raine’s aunt to see her uncle beaming at her. “Is it my turn yet?” he asked in a gravelly voice.
“Oh, Uncle John! It’s so good to see you!”
Finally released from her uncle’s bear hug, Raine seemed to remember Ben, standing silently next to the carriage. Walking over to him, she shyly took his hand.
“Uncle John, Aunt Grace, this is Ben Thackeray.” Raine’s cheeks grew rosy at her family’s knowing looks.
Her aunt and uncle welcomed Ben cordially. “Come into the house, both of you. We have cool lemonade waiting.”