by Diana Nixon
“Why? What happened between you and Jill? Apart from the obvious answer to my question of course.”
“I don’t know. Really, I have no idea what I did wrong, because for me, it was all more than fucking perfect. I have never had better sex in my life, and I know that she liked it too. And then she just… Said she needed a shower and left.”
“Okay, and you didn’t try to stop her… Why?”
“I didn’t know what to do! Never in my life has a woman left me before I was ready to show her the door.”
“I see.”
“What the fuck do you see?”
“I can see that the time you spent with Jillian was more than just random sex, with a random girl.”
“And your point is?”
“My point is that no one really cares about what that bitch posted in the paper. Not even our parents. Well, maybe Mom won’t be happy to read the post, but she knows you. I’m sure she will figure it was just another stupid joke from one of your lovers. But there’s one person whose opinion does matter. And I think you know who I’m talking about. Jillian is a good girl, a little reckless, but still good. You shouldn’t have hurt her like this. I thought you knew that she was different from the other silly girls you usually sleep with.”
“I know, damn it, I do know that she is different! I don’t know what pushed me to go with Amalia last night.”
“I do.”
“Well, enlighten me then.”
Dominick smiled with that all-fucking-knowing smile that I always hated so much.
I felt like history was repeating itself, except this time I was on the receiving end, and it wasn’t with Scarlett and Dom, it was with Jillian and me.
This is how I acted when he messed things up with Scarlett.
“She hurt your ego by leaving your bed sooner than you expected. And of course, when I consider how much of a greedy bastard you are, I’m sure you wanted nothing but to prove to her and to yourself that you could have any woman you wanted, and that it didn’t have to be Jillian, a girl who maybe for the first time ever, made you feel something. The something that is so much different, and so much stronger, and is more than simple physical attraction.”
“My goodness, dating Scarlett has turned you into one pussy- whipped ass. Is that what love does to men? Can you even hear yourself right now?” I asked, and then added in a tone mocking his, “It is more than physical attraction. What the hell does that mean? You used to do the same things to women. A one-night stand with one woman, one night, and then another, with a completely different woman the next, and now you are judging me, when Jill left me last night.”
“You think it will never happen to you, right?”
“I’m sure I won’t be that pathetic.”
He laughed. Like really laughed, right into my face. “Poor thing, you don’t even know how close you are to becoming a lovestruck puppy, ready to comply with everything your girlfriend, or even eventually a wife, will tell you to do.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I will never fall in love. Ever! It’s just enough to look at you to realize that love is one thing that I will never want to screw up my life, like I said just a minute ago, you are pussy whipped, brother.”
“And here I thought you were going to prove that you are not as much of a douche as everyone thinks you are.”
“I can prove it even without love. Isn’t my love for myself enough?”
“Your love for yourself is only enough to prove everyone else’s opinion of you being a douche. So what if I am, how you say? Pussy whipped? Scarlett is amazing, and we are lucky to have each other,” he said, mocking me, while also being genuine about his love for Scarlett.
“Great, then I will just keep being myself,” I said, rising to my feet.
“Good luck with that!”
Screw you, smart ass…
I went out into the hall and headed for the elevator, even more angry and frustrated than I was before coming here.
Who was I angry at? Myself, I guess. Because there was no point in being angry at my brother who was obviously right about everything, no matter how many times I wanted to call him a smart ass.
I got into a taxi and told the driver the address to my own apartment. There was no way Jill would agree to keep living under the same roof with me, after what had happened between us.
I needed to talk to her, I owed her at least an apology, but I also knew that she would never pick up the phone if I called her right now, so I typed a message and hit ‘send’.
“I’m sorry, I screwed it up. I would call last night the best in my life, if it wasn’t for whatever happened that made you leave… Forgive me if you can, please.”
Chapter 8
Jillian
Scarlett entered my office without even knocking.
“You okay?” She asked carefully, trying to gauge my reaction, taking a seat facing me.
“Not even close.”
She nodded, hesitating before asking the next question. “Why did you leave?”
“What?”
“Why did you leave after… you know… sleeping with Oliver?”
“I should have never slept with him in the first place, it was a huge mistake on my part.”
“Do you regret it?”
“Regret is not the right word for it. I hate myself for falling under his spell, and even more I hate the moment that I decided to actually allow myself to get lost in the moment.” I sighed, leaning against the back of my chair.
“You liked what happened between you two, didn’t you?”
“Again, like doesn’t even begin to cover it. God, I loved it!” I slammed my hand down on the desk, then I rose to my feet, unable to sit still and started pacing the room. “It was amazing, he was amazing. I don’t think I have ever had better sex in my life. Now I know why girls fall at his feet and love him. Damn, if only he were not such a douche bag! Even I would never sleep with two guys in one night, and I am pretty lax on morals, you know? If I say it’s wrong, you know it’s fucked up!”
“He didn’t sleep with that girl, you know?”
“I know, but it doesn’t change the fact that he was going to, or that he wanted to. And I can’t believe I trusted him, actually hoping that our plan of coexisting under the same roof would work.”
“What was the plan about?” She asked, obviously already knowing the answer.
“Nothing special,” I said, waving it off. “Just some simple rules.”
“Like rules of seduction?”
“Uh, shut up. You know Oliver, even better than I do. And you also know me. So, did you really think we would be able to stay away from each other and pretend to be all naïve and decent, while thinking about nothing but fucking the hell out of each other?”
She burst out laughing. “Actually, I was sure that playing the cold and innocent part wouldn’t last more than a few hours.”
I stared at her incredulously. “Huh, I can’t believe you didn’t even try to give me a little more credit for my skills on resisting temptation.”
“I’m marrying one of the Altier brothers, remember? So I know pretty damn well that resistance is the last thing you can think about while in a locked room with one of them.”
“Man, what am I supposed to do now?” I almost cried, sitting back into my chair.
“Why don’t you try to talk to him?”
“Are you serious? About what exactly do you suggest I talk to him?”
“About round two?”
“Are you out of your freaking mind, Scarlett?” She was turning the tables on me, we had almost this exact same conversation when she and Dominick started sleeping with each other. I told her to go ahead and play with him, but to make sure to set the rules first.
She giggled. “No, but I’m sure round two will happen sooner that you know.”
I rolled my eyes. “No, I’m not going to talk to him, and I’m not going to sleep with him again. EVER!”
“But you want to, right?”
I groan
ed, desperate. “I do. But I still won’t.”
“Okay, as you wish. But just for the record, he didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Yeah, yeah. Tell me something I don’t already know. He just thought that fucking another girl right after he slept with me would make my day, right?”
She shook her head, smiling. “Give him another chance.”
“What chance are you talking about? The chance to screw up everything again? Don’t you think that once was more than enough?”
“Well, I have already said everything I wanted to say, so now it’s all up to you what to do next.”
My cell phone rang, indicating a new text message was received.
“Oh, God. Does he really think that a message can make me forgive him?”
“Is it from Oliver?”
“Yes.” I deleted the message and turned the phone off. He was obviously wrong about the limits of the kindness of my heart.
“Don’t be childish, Jill. Call him.” Scarlett smiled and left.
In his damn dreams!
My first day as a manager was crazy. I needed to know everything about the work of my department and to make things worse, Jeremy kept calling me non-stop. Eventually, I picked up the phone, mentally calling him all the vulgar known and unknown names.
“What?” I all but barked at him.
“Please give me a minute, Jillian.”
“Make it thirty seconds, I have tons of work to do.”
“There’s one thing I think we need to talk about. Not over the phone though, we need to talk in person.”
“And what do you think that one thing is?”
“I told you, it shouldn’t be discussed on the phone. Can we meet somewhere and talk like grown-up, civilized people?”
“I didn’t even know you knew the meaning of the last two adjectives.”
“Please Jill. An hour is all that I’m asking for.”
I knew that meeting Jeremy was the only way to stop whatever was going on in his mind, he wouldn’t leave me alone until I just got it over with, and agreed to meet with him.
“Fine. I’ll have a break at noon. Come to the café downstairs.”
“Thanks Jill. You won’t regret it.”
I already do, I thought to myself, as soon as I finished the conversation.
“Miss Murano, Mr. Altier is here to see you.”
I smirked, as the situation was more than just inconvenient to me.
“Let him in,” I said to my secretary.
“Well, well, Miss Murano,” Dominick sang, looking around. “I can see that you have already settled into your new office. Do you need anything else? Like an additional table or maybe a couch?”
“No, thank you. I’m fine. But if you mean I might need an additional couch for something that you and your brother like doing so much, I can assure you that it will never happen here, or anywhere else for that matter.”
Dom laughed. “Don’t get me wrong Jillian, but I know my brother too well. So I would highly recommend you ordering an additional couch, or if not an extra one, then at least get one that is a little bigger. This one looks too fragile.”
Uh, the bastard obviously missed getting on my nerves.
“Did you come here because your new secretary is too old for the dirty jokes that your twisted mind concocts?”
He smiled, shaking his head. “Actually, I came here to apologize for Oliver. I know he can be a little-”
“Insatiable?”
“Exactly. Anyways, I talked to him and I can assure you that he knows he did something wrong.”
“Something? Listen Dominick, I know that he’s your brother and you will continue to defend him, no matter how many women he makes out or sleeps with, but I’m seriously not in the mood for your brotherly love conversation, right now. Even though I don’t know him as well as you do, I do know him enough to not believe that whatever happened last night will ever change. He will always be like this. It’s just that I’m not ready to deal with it. And frankly, I don’t want to. I don’t need a man in my life who doesn’t know what simple respect is. So go tell him to fuck the hell off. He may also shove his apologies into his-”
“Okay, I got the point. I will tell him.”
“Yes, please do.”
“But still… Think about a better couch.”
“Get out, Dom! Or I will call the security.”
He laughed hard. “And tell them what? That the head of the company is worried about your comfort and health? Uh, shame on me.” He rubbed his index finger over his other index finger in the universal signal of shame.
“Out!”
“Okay, okay. Have a good day, Jillian!”
“You too, Asshole!”
I couldn’t believe that even now that I was no longer his secretary, Dominick still found ways to piss me off. Apparently, he was my punishment for everything I had ever done wrong in my life. And knowing myself, I probably couldn’t even put all those things in one list, it would be endless. So I guess I deserved what I had now.
Serves me right…
At noon, I went down to the café, sincerely hoping I wouldn’t hate Jeremy even more after whatever it was that he wanted to talk to me about. You know, I wasn’t even sure if I still hated him. I would rather say I had an ‘irritating indifference’ towards him; I didn’t hate him, but I didn’t like him either. I didn’t get that upset when we broke up, I didn’t even remember the exact reason for our break up. I mean, yeah it was because of another sexcapade of his, but I never cared who she was or even what she looked like. Back then, it was just a good reason to finally end our messed-up relationship. So I didn’t know what was so important that he couldn’t possibly wait to talk to me about, or just talk to me on the phone about it.
I immediately recognized Jeremy. He was sitting at one of the tables, looking at his watch impatiently. Next to him, on the table, there was a huge bouquet of my favorite flowers, pink roses. The bastard had always been damn good at flossing.
I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for the upcoming conversation, put on my best smile and went to greet him.
“Jeremy, what an… unexpected surprise.”
“Hi, Jillian. This is for you.” He gave me the flowers and even dared to kiss me on the cheek.
“To what do I owe the honour of seeing your pretty face here?” I sat down and crossed my arms, watching him closely. He was still one damn good-looking motherfucker. I couldn’t deny it. His face and body were probably the only reason for our romance to last longer than the rest of my relationships.
“I have been thinking about you a lot.”
Ugh, here we go again, same people, same old story…
“You know, after we broke up, I didn’t love anyone as much as I loved you.”
“You loved me? That’s big news for me. Don’t you think sleeping with every girl you laid your eyes on was a very… unusual way to demonstrate your love?”
“Listen, Jill… I know, I’m not perfect.”
“You are hopeless, Jer. And this is so much worse than just being imperfect.”
“I know, I know. But… I still love you. I never stopped loving you.”
I shook my head, a little frustrated. “Seriously, if this is all you wanted to tell me, I’d better go. Because I have so much more important things to do than sit here and listen to your bullshit.”
“Why don’t you believe me?”
“Why would I?”
“Everyone deserves a second chance.”
Oh, no… I was seriously tired of the words ‘second chance’ today.
“You are right, Jeremy. But your second chance was before the third and the fourth and the fifth one. Don’t you think it means you have reached the ceiling of asking for another chance? Besides, I told you, I’m seeing someone now.”
“Who is he?”
Just when I was about to say that it was none of his business, I saw Oliver, crossing the street to where our company building was.
“There h
e is, my love boy,” I spilled the words as if they were poisoned, but still managed to keep that fake smile plastered on my face, I think I even made it look a little passionate so he would believe me when I said Oliver was my new man. “I’d better go before he sees me talking to my ex-boyfriend, he might get a little jealous, that wouldn’t be pretty.”
I knew that Jeremy would follow me, as well as I knew that I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life.
Going out into the hall, with the damn bouquet of flowers in my hands, I rushed over to Oliver, saying loudly enough to be heard by everyone, “Here’s my hungry cowboy. Missed me already?” Then I pulled his lips to mine and kissed him passionately, not only because I wanted Jeremy to see me doing that, but also because I had actually been dying to do that since the very moment I left his bed last night.
“God, I missed you so much,” he breathed into my lips.
Oh man, he probably thinks I am a psycho.
I looked up at him, and everything I was going to say to him died on my lips. I still craved him, more than ever…
“When does your break end?” He asked, frowning at the bouquet in my hands. “And who the hell is that from?”
“Are you here to talk about the flowers or are you going to apologize?”
“I don’t give a damn about the fucking flowers. I wanted to see you.”
“Good. Then you have about fifteen minutes to show me how very sorry you are for being an ass.”
Wordlessly, he pulled me onto the elevator, pushing the buttons impatiently. As soon as the doors closed behind us, his lips crashed on mine with the ravenous intensity that made me hot and wet in all the right places. For a second, I thought I would suffocate from the lack of air. But then, I let those amazing lips of his do their best, and after I realized that there was nothing more important than feeling him all over me again, I gave up and shut out the damn reality that I was sure would make me regret this moment, so many times. Uh, who the hell cares?