by Diana Nixon
“No, he was just another man whose dick had no idea what the term monogamy meant.”
“So now you think that all men are like Jeremy?”
“Aren’t you living proof of that theory?”
“Well-” He lowered his eyes, studying the deep maroon liquid in his wine glass. “Maybe I am. But it doesn’t mean that I never tried to stop.”
“You tried to stop?” I asked incredulous. “What was her name?”
“Whose name?”
“The name of the girl that you were ready to sacrifice your precious freedom for?”
He smirked humourlessly. “Again, I can’t help but admire your ability to read between the lines. Her name was Karrie. We both were twenty and it felt like the best relationship I had ever had in my entire life. She was from Montana, so I only saw her about twice a month, maximum, and that was just luck sometimes, there were also plenty of months where we didn’t see each other at all.”
“So that is who that song of yours was dedicated to?”
“Um, maybe. I have never actually dedicated my songs to anyone, but yes, I wrote it after one of our dates.”
“So then, what happened after that?”
“One day, she just stopped answering my calls. And her friends refused to tell me where she was, or why she moved out of her house. So I got in my car and drove there. I didn’t stop except to get gas on the way, hoping I would be able to find out something… Absolutely anything about what happened to her, why she would just stop all contacts with me, or where she could have been living since she moved.”
“Did you end up finding her, or figuring out what happened to make her go away?”
“I did find her. In the house of the friend who had introduced us to each other.”
“Did she start dating him?”
“I don’t know when or how it happened, but when she opened the door and saw me, she was so scared… And pregnant.”
“Holy shit-”
“I had the same reaction. She tried to explain the situation to me, but I didn’t want to hear it, I didn’t want to hear anything she had to say about it.”
“Are you sure that her child wasn’t your child also?”
“You will never believe it, but we had never slept together. It was the first and the last time that I tried to be a fucking gentleman, bringing her flowers and chocolates, and other shit. That’s what I got for being the ‘good guy’.”
He emptied the glass in one gulp, and I realized that talking about Karrie wasn’t easy for him. Did he still have feelings for her? Or was he simply angry because of what she did to him?
“Have you ever seen her again?”
“No. Why would I want to see her again anyway? She did her best to show me how pointless everything I did for her was. She made me hate myself for being so damn pathetic to fall for a woman so hard; I never wanted that to happen again.”
“And that’s why you thought that having sex with everything that has a vagina was the best and only way to get your revenge on her?”
“I told you already, I don’t sleep with every woman that I lay my eyes on.”
“Yeah, I know, but you get my point.”
“Well, yes, in general, you are right. I thought that focusing on one particular woman was a waste of my time. I was too young and too careless to realize the nonsense in everything I did, just in the name of revenge.”
“Are you saying that you are a better person now?”
He smiled, and looked at me. “I bet you will never believe that, regardless of how many times I tell you that I am a different person now.”
“It’s only because you have a very special way of showing it.”
“Okay, I know what everyone thinks about me. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t change, or that I haven’t already changed.”
“I don’t believe that people are capable of changing forever, people can change for a short period to impress other people, but they always revert back to their normal selves.”
“Isn’t my brother proof that there are exceptions to that rule?”
“Who says he has changed? He’s still the same, all-knowing jerk. The only thing he did right, was proposing Scarlett.”
“Do you think I will propose anyone, get engaged, and then get married?”
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, I lost my breath, because something happened to me, and I felt a new feeling in my heart that I never thought I was capable of feeling. Jealousy…
“Well, I think that anything is possible, even you, making a proposal and getting married.” I forced a smile, it felt like the hardest thing to do at that moment. Why the hell would Oliver’s future worry me? It’s not that I couldn’t imagine my life without him or anything. Then why would I be jealous?
“You okay?” Oliver asked, and reached over to touch my hand.
“Yeah, why?”
“You look like you are about to puke.”
Well, maybe I felt like that, because for the first time ever, I hated myself for feeling something. And the something promised to bring even more trouble into my already messed-up life.
I sighed. “I think I’m ready to call it a night. I can barely sit here and keep my eyes open.”
“Oh, right. I bet my chatting has bored you to death.”
“To sleep I would say.” I smiled again and rose to my feet, dying to hide in the safety of my bedroom.
“Jill, wait.”
Oliver caught me by the hand, and I didn’t have a choice but to look at him again. Wordlessly, he brought my lips to his and kissed me deeply. It wasn’t rough or passionate, it was slow, sweet and too damn good to be true…
“I couldn’t help myself,” he said quietly, breaking the kiss unwillingly. “You still taste like grapes.”
“It’s just the wine.”
God, I was so lost to everything, but him. I couldn’t believe that one kiss could do that to me. Never in my life had I ever been so addicted to anyone or anything, but right now, I felt like I needed all my self-control to not rip his shirt out of my way and just give in to the most delicious temptation ever.
“You know what’s the best part of drinking wine?”
“No.”
“It’s the aftertaste,” he said in a low voice, caressing my chin with his fingertips, our faces still just inches apart. “Bonne nuit, Jillian – Good night.” He took a step back, and I was hardly able to stop myself from kissing him again.
“You too, Oliver.” Quickly, I turned around and headed for my room, wishing for nothing but Oliver’s lips and hands all over me again.
The moment I shut the door behind me, the realization hit me. I wasn’t just totally screwed, I was also in love, in love with the most impossible man on the earth…
Chapter 11
Oliver
Something was seriously wrong with me, wrong with Jillian, and wrong with the entire situation that we stuck ourselves into. First, I thought she wouldn’t mind me taking her right there in the elevator, and now she was acting as if we were just friends, just happening to share the same apartment. Well, not that I didn’t want to be friends with her. That concept was new to me, but I still wanted to give it a try. After all, there was a right time for everything, so maybe now it was time for me to start treating women differently?
I couldn’t fall asleep, so I got up and went back to the living room, hoping I would be able to work on my business plan a little bit. Spreading the books and papers on the floor near the fireplace, I poured myself another glass of wine and dived into numbers and business strategies, one a few things that I had always been really good at.
A few hours later, I heard the door to Jill’s bedroom opened. I turned around and saw her coming into the living room.
“Why are you still awake?” She asked, walking over to a table with a water pitcher and pouring some into a glass.
“I thought since I had nothing better to do but spend the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, I should probably just get u
p, and work a little.”
She smiled slightly, sitting next to me. “Why couldn’t you fall asleep?”
“I could ask you the same question,” I replied, watching her. She was wearing a sleeveless shirt, that hardly covered anything, and again, I thought about how wonderful it would be to just get lost in the music of those sweet sounds she made whenever we were together.
She tossed her dark-brown locks back over her shoulder, and looked at the papers that I had been working on before she came into the room.
“I don’t think that buying such a huge place that will be used for only a few offices would be a good investment,” she said, obviously ignoring my words about the sleepless night.
“Why?” I asked, curious about whatever she was going to say next. I always admired smart women.
“You are going to be a newbie in production business, and even with Dominick’s financial support, you shouldn’t waste his money on luxury. You should focus on finding a good recording studio with a team that would be able to turn even a hopeless voice into magic. I think it doesn’t really matter whether you have a pompous office or not, the quality of your work is what people will keep coming to you for. ”
“Hmm… Maybe you are right,” I said, surprised to know that I didn’t think about that part of it myself. “For starters, I can rent a small office, where I could meet my clients and sign papers. And later, when I have a long enough list of people to work with, I can find something bigger and better. Great idea, thank you, Sweetie,” I said, looking at her, and smiling.
“You are welcome. By the way, I agree that L.A. is a perfect place for you to start your business; that is where all aspiring musicians go to get discovered.”
“Really? I wasn’t quite sure about it, I just wanted to check out the area to see if I could find some good recording studios there.”
“Oh, I’m sure there are plenty of them. Just be careful with the wrongos.”
I laughed. “I’m a big boy, you know. And I can read people very well.”
“No doubt.” She looked at me thoughtfully, then nodded as if she had come to some mental conclusion and stood up, saying, “We’d better try to sleep at least a little. I don’t want to pass out in the middle of my workday tomorrow.” She bent down and placed a kiss on my cheek. “Go back to your bed, Oliver.”
“Mind if I go to yours instead? I’ll behave, I swear.”
She smirked. “Do you even know how to behave?”
“I can give it a try.”
She hesitated for a moment. “Fine, but we are going to sleep, nothing else. Clear?”
“Crystal.” I felt the predatory excitement running through me. Quickly, I gathered all the papers lying on the floor, put them on the table and almost ran after Jill to her room, asking myself if I would be able to keep my hands off of her once we got into bed together.
She got under the blanket and held it up for me to get in and join her. “Leave your sly-fox tricks outside of the bed,” she said warningly, when I laid down next to her.
“I don’t think I remember the last time I had a non-sex sleepover with a girl, but I will try to be a good guy.”
“You’d better, or this will be the last time that this happens.” She turned away from me, and I immediately missed the view of her lips and the feeling of her soft skin touching mine.
“Do you think we can be friends?” I asked, not quite sure why I would ask her that.
She turned around just enough to see my face. “Yeah, absolutely. Why not? Unless you’re talking about friends with benefits, again.”
“So there won’t be any benefits then?” I asked, smiling at her.
“We will see. Good night, Oliver.” Then she turned away again, but I still thought that there would be no way I would be able to fall asleep while she was so close and yet so far away from me at the same time.
Slowly, I scooted a little closer to her and wrapped one arm around her waist, putting her back up against my chest. I could swear I felt every inch of her body tensing up from the small motion.
“Friends don’t do this,” she said in a whisper.
I barely caught what she had said because I could hardly think about anything except the scent of her skin washing over me and intoxicating my mind. It just felt so good to have her so close to me again.
“I know,” I said, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder. “Go back to sleep, Jillian.”
Inhaling deeply, I tightened my embrace around her waist, when a new thought came into my head. I would do anything to just hold her like that, every night, for as long as she would let me and wanted to fall asleep in my arms…
With those strange thoughts crossing my mind, I finally fell asleep, feeling unbelievably happy, which was a very rare thing to happen to me.
It felt like no more than a minute had passed before I felt Jillian’s palm sliding up my arm, and when I turned my head to look at her, she put one finger on my lips and rolled over onto my chest, now lying on top of me. First, I didn’t know what to do. Can you believe that? It was probably the first time ever that I didn’t know what to do with an almost naked woman lying on me.
Slowly, she reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it up, exposing her perfect breasts and flat stomach; her hair fell down over one shoulder.
“Wow, I thought we were going to take it slow,” I said, swallowing, my lower body hardened at the view in front of my eyes, and the fact that she was laying on me. Silver moonlight slipped through the curtains, making everything look even more surreal.
“We can be slow, if you wish,” she said, looking down at me. She wasn’t smiling or anything. I couldn’t read what was hidden behind her mysterious stare. Something was different about her tonight. I didn’t know what it was, but I liked the way my body reacted to her closeness. It was all on fire, but I didn’t mind being burned to ashes, if only she would help that fire burn in me forever.
I dropped my hands to the sheet on both sides of me, and I knew that it would be the most pleasurable surrender ever. Then I looked up at her again, and something broke inside of me, and I knew exactly what it was – it was the wall coming down, the wall that I had been building up for years, in an attempt to keep my heart shut off from everything that would make me feel again. And all of a sudden, that wall was shattering into millions of small pieces, letting those familiar and yet new feelings and emotions fill my heart and my soul.
I didn’t need to pretend to be someone else anyone, I could be myself, alive and free. I reached out my hands and cupped her face in my palms, bringing her lips closer to mine. She didn’t seem to mind. She put her hands on both sides of my head, and leaned closer, closer, closer… Until I could taste the familiar flavour of grapes on her lips.
My tongue slipped in between her open lips and a new game began, only this time, we were playing the same role, the role of two souls that were dying to be one.
My palms slid down her shoulders, back and sides. God, I missed the feel of her smooth skin under my fingers. Our lips kept dancing in a perfect connection, and neither of us seemed to be able to stop it. My palms stopped at her ass and squeezed it lightly.
“Take me in,” I whisper, feeling my heart beating wildly in my chest. “Please.” I was not ashamed of begging. I would beg her million times if I needed to, just to feel the rush of feelings that only she knew how to send through my veins.
She sat up on her knees, with her thighs pressed to my hips, her sex hovering over my hardened cock. I shut out everything but the feeling of her wetness and warmth welcoming me. She slid down my length and the world around me disappeared. I was flying high above the ground; I was an addict, and unable to breathe without her.
She’s perfect. Everything about her is perfect. It feels like it’s enough to take one step closer to her because she will meet me halfway.
Sliding one hand to where our bodies were connected, I pressed one finger to her clit, circling it lightly, watching her throw back her head in ecstasy; the drops of sweat wer
e glistening on her neck and shoulders. I realized at that moment that she was as turned on as I was. I put my finger that had the taste of her wetness in my mouth and fuck, it tasted like the most delicious thing ever, just sweet enough to make me want to taste more of it. I wanted to put myself deep inside of her and never let her out of my arms, ever again. I wanted to kiss, lick and suck every part of her body. I could almost taste the flavour of her scent at the back of my throat. And it tasted so damn intoxicating, exciting, and calming, all at once. I couldn’t wait to lead in our little game.
I rolled her onto her back, watching her beauty which was exposed beneath me. Neither of us spoke, but we didn’t need words to say what we were feeling at that moment, one touch was more than enough to say it all.
I bent down and ran my tongue across her breast and belly, and relished every single breath I took by her side. My palm stopped in between her thighs, spreading her, dying to taste her again. She moaned loudly when my lips stopped at her clit, I began covering it in a slow licking motion. I looked up at her, her passion-filled eyes met mine.
Wordlessly, I placed myself in between her open legs and pinned her hands over her head, pushing myself hard inside her. She moaned again, and I leaned closer to drink in the pleased sounds that were coming from her lips.
She took me fully inside of her wet, tight pussy and I stayed there a little longer than usual, suddenly I was afraid to pull out and lose her forever…
I could feel how rapidly her heart was beating against my chest, I could feel all the changes in her mood, I could even read every unspoken message that her eyes were sending to me.
I sped up, my thrusts became rougher, faster. My muscles tensed, blood rushed through me like pure fire. I was gasping, feeling the familiar pain building beneath my skin, dying to be eased.
My grip on her wrists tightened, I felt drugged, and totally lost to everything but her. I could hear the sound of my hips slamming against hers, tiny drops of sweat were rolling down my back. I was about to explode, I wanted to fill her with my shaft, I needed to give her what she wanted, and take what I wanted more than anything else. I pushed myself deep inside her and felt the long-awaited wash of relief rush through me. Her orgasm joined mine, the sounds we were making rang in the silence of the night.