by Diana Nixon
The slow song was over and replaced with something more rhythmical; all the magic of the moment was gone and ruined. If I thought that there could be something more than just sex that pushed Oliver and me together, now I knew for sure that there was nothing but lust, which we were unable to satisfy with anyone else but each other, apparently. But I wanted more, I needed so much more than that…
“I hate you, Oliver,” I said, trying to put as much venom as I could into those four words.
“No, you don’t, you pretty little liar. You know where to find me, right?” And then, he just stepped aside and left the dance floor, leaving me totally lost, hot and pissed. Fucking bastard…
The rest of the night went by in a blur of events: a drink, a dance, another drink, another dance. I don’t think I had ever wanted to get as drunk as I wanted to right now. I didn’t even know I could drink that much. By the time Scarlett, Josseline and I were ready to leave the club, I could barely stand on my feet, my mind just shut off. I walked over to the first taxi I saw waiting at the curb, I thanked Joss for choosing the worst club in the city, but she only laughed at my words, kissing me on both cheeks and then got into her own taxi. Her feet were bare, her red veil was wrapped around her right ankle. Well, hell, apparently I wasn’t the only completely smashed bridesmaid that night.
Scarlett was the only more or less sober member of our small company. She hugged me tight, promising to come and check on me in the morning, well, in the afternoon to be exact, because when she was saying that, I could already see the first rays of sun breaking through the clouds.
“Fine, just don’t buzz when you get to the apartment, please bring your keys so you can come in without the irritating buzzing,” I said. “I most certainly will still be asleep when you come.”
“Thanks for everything, lady. You know I love you, don’t you?”
“Oh, crap, don’t start crying on me,” I said. “I know you love me and I love you too, but I guess we just need to sleep it off and then we will be able to sit and talk more about your upcoming wedding and whatever crap will follow it.”
She laughed and said to the driver of my taxi, “Make sure she gets to where she is supposed to be going, please.” Then she told him the address of her apartment.
“I will, ma’am,” the man replied, nodding.
“See you tomorrow, Babe!” I said, getting into the car and waving through the opened window. I hoped the driver wouldn’t do any unnecessary manoeuvres and I wouldn’t get even sicker than I already was.
Despite everything that had happened before the moment I crossed the threshold of the apartment, I was sure Scarlett liked her bridal shower. After all, it was the main purpose of everything that we had done that night, and the three of us did have a lot of fun together.
Without Oliver, the apartment looked so empty. One day was more than enough to confirm my worst fears about falling in love with him. I missed him like hell, even though I still couldn’t explain his sudden disappearance. He didn’t call or leave any note saying that he would spend the night somewhere else, I figured he simply didn’t want to see me anymore. I had been thinking about him all day, I even wanted to call him a few times, but then again, I remembered my conversation with Scarlett, and changed my mind.
Of course, I lied to her about my feelings for Oliver. In fact, I was sure that every more or less sane woman would fall for him, no matter how many times he disappointed her, and shattered her expectations. And I’m not talking about bed, of course, because there he was a king and a God. And it just so happened, that now, that I was sure I was deeply in love with him, I couldn’t imagine seeing him and keep pretending that we were just friends. With benefits or not, this friendship was predestined to be a fatal failure from the very beginning.
I opened the door to Oliver’s room and it still smelled like him. I walked over to one of the drawers and found it empty. When did he come and take his things away? I was still too drunk to think about anything but falling asleep, so I went over to Oliver’s bed, tossed a few unnecessary pillows to the floor and got under the blanket, inhaling the scent of his cologne that I could still smell all over his bedding. The next day promised to be a living hell, but right now, I hardly cared. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, hoping that at least in a dream I would be able to feel his familiar arms embracing me…
Chapter 14
Oliver
My head hurt like hell. I was standing in the shower, hoping it would help me freshen up.
I couldn’t believe I was so weak. Never in my life had I thought that one day I would get drunk because of a girl. And last night was the second night in a row that I spent with a drink in my hands.
When I asked Dom about where the bridal shower was supposed to take place, he laughed into my face and said that he would never tell me.
“I thought you said you didn’t want to see her, ever again,” he said, smiling at his own words that I bet he thought was the smartest thing he could ever say.
“Why do you care? Aren’t you supposed to be thinking about your wedding vows, cakes or whatever crap they usually think about before the Big Day?”
“I have already written my vows, and Scarlett has already taken care of the cake, so I have nothing else to do but to worry about my little brother.”
“Just tell me where they are.”
“What for?”
I rolled my eyes. “Okay, fine, I’ll admit it – I wanna see her. Happy now?”
“I will be when I know that you are happy too. They went to The Night Star. Just try to stay out of Scarlett’s sight. She will kill me if she finds out that I told you where to find them.”
“Why?”
“Because she thinks that you should leave Jillian alone.”
“And why would she want that?”
“Because she cares about her friend, and she thinks that Jill is hiding something, and I bet the something is her true feelings for you.”
I smirked. “Right.” Somehow, I doubted there was anything but hate that she felt for me, and she didn’t try to hide that, at all.
“You really do believe that she feels nothing but anger towards you, don’t you?”
“I don’t know what to think. It’s all so fucking complicated!”
Dom laughed. “This is what they call love.”
“No shit? If you are right, then I don’t think I want to love anyone, ever.”
“But you already do. Even though you doubt it, or just don’t want to admit it, I’m sure sooner or later you will say it out loud.”
I stared at my brother, ready to say that he was wrong, when it hit me again — I was in love with Jillian. And there was no point in denying it. It scared the hell out of me, but on the other hand — I wanted nothing but to know more about what it felt like to love and to be loved, but not by just any woman… By Jillian.
“I’m gonna talk to her, right now,” I said, heading for the door. The words that she said to Scarlett were still ringing in my head, but if Dom was right, we needed to sit and talk like grown-ups and finally stop trying to fool each other.
“Good luck!” Dom called after me.
I took a taxi and went to The Night Star. I knew it was one of my sister’s favourite places in New York, so I wasn’t surprised to see her, Scarlett and Jillian having fun there.
Following my brother’s advice, I tried to stay out of his fiancé’s sight. I went straight to the bar and ordered a drink, hoping it would help me suppress the fear of my upcoming talk with Jillian. I wasn’t sure what she would say if I were to tell her that loved her, so yes, I needed all the courage I could possibly muster to say the damn words of love. God, I could have never imagined I could be so nervous. No, scratch that, I could have never imagined I would fall that hard for someone in the first place.
I looked at the table where I hoped to see Jill again, but she wasn’t there, she was going to the dance floor with some dude, holding her as if she were his personal property. Fucking bastard! I don’t eve
n know how I managed to not run up to him and twist his hand embracing Jillian.
Swallowing my anger and jealously together with another sip of whiskey, I kept watching them while they danced. When I thought I could no longer stand the view of his hands, travelling up and down Jill’s back, I took a few steps closer to where they were dancing, waiting for her to see me.
Finally, our gazes locked. I knew she didn’t expect to see me there during Scarlett’s bridal shower. Quickly, she lowered her eyes, said something to her companion, and then she hurried off of the dance floor.
I smiled to myself. Running away again? Well, good luck with that, Sweetheart.
I waited for her to finish talking to Scarlett. She looked a little funny, trying to hide in a dark corner of the club. But I wasn’t going to let her out of my sight. So when she headed for the exit, I made sure she wouldn’t be able to leave without talking to me first.
When she stopped right in front of me, I looked at her outfit and smiled mentally. She looked funny and so damn sexy at the same time. If I were her husband or at least her boyfriend, I would have never let her out into the street dressed up like that. Not that I wasn’t thrilled about the idea of seeing her walking around the apartment dressed up like that.
“Going somewhere?” I asked.
“Out,” she snapped, obviously dying to get away from me as soon as possible. But I couldn’t let her go just like that.
“Dance with me,” I said, catching her by the hand, and pulling her close to my chest.
We walked to the dance floor and I wrapped my arms around her small waist, trying to shield her from all the greedy jerks watching her hungrily. Why on earth couldn’t Scarlett come up with less sexy outfits for her bridal shower? I should have brought Dom with me, because if anything, I would really appreciate his help in saving these three crazy dolls from a bunch of cowboys dying to take them for a ride.
I could feel that Jill was a little tensed, even though I knew she was also glad to see me. I was sure she wanted to know where I had slept the night before.
She looked a little distant, and again I thought that we were too much alike when it came to showing our true feelings. We would laugh and pretend that everything was okay, even though we couldn’t wait for a moment to be alone with our thoughts and worries. What do they say about the people who laugh more than the others? That they have more reasons to cry than anyone else? Well, maybe it was true in some ways.
Unintentionally, my palms slid up Jill’s back and under the hem of her shirt, the upper bottoms of which were open, showing just enough of her dark-blue bra to let my imagination go wild. I wanted nothing but to explore it more precisely, together with the rest of her outfit and whatever was hidden under it.
No, it was too early to tell her about what I felt for her. Or maybe it was simply my devilish player’s nature that wouldn’t allow me to make things so much easier; I wanted to play just a little longer.
By the time my little game was over, we both were as turned on as ever. I knew it for sure. I could see the familiar fire burning in her eyes. I could see how hard she had to fight to not give up and tell me that she wanted me too. I could feel that her fake indifference was nothing but a poor attempt to punish me for the damn question about friendship. I was sure it was the main reason for her anger, even though without Dom, I would have never been able to figure it out on my own.
“You know where to find me, right?” I was sure she would never come to me first, but I still wanted to leave her something to think about. Unlike everything else, challenges have always been one of those things that neither of us knew how to resist.
I didn’t want to go home. First, because I was still worried about some dudes trying to hurt the girls, and second, because I wanted to make sure that Jill would get home, safe and sound, and alone as well.
I followed her to Scarlett’s apartment and waited for the lights in the windows to turn off. Then I went upstairs and opened the door with my key. I tiptoed to Jill’s bedroom and found it empty. Weird, I thought. I checked the bathroom, but she wasn’t there either. What if…
I went to my old room and opened the door quietly, afraid I would wake or scare her.
And there she was, lying on my bed, with her arms wrapped around one of the pillows and the blanket pushed to her feet and half hanging from the bed. I came closer to her and smiled down at her. She looked like a little girl, still wearing the knee-high socks and a veil. Her skirt, shirt and shoes were lying on the floor. I reached for the blanket and pulled it up to her shoulders, leaving a light kiss on her forehead.
It was a little surreal to be there now. I knew she was deep asleep and wouldn’t even hear it if I were to turn on the coffee machine right on her bedside table. So I went to the chair near the floor-length window and took a seat, outstretching my legs.
I was as tired as hell. Tired of everything: the night, the unstoppable rush of thoughts in my head, the ridiculousness of the situation that Jill and I had gotten into. But most of all, I was tired of fighting with myself…
I wasn’t going to fall asleep or anything, I thought I would just sit there a little longer and then go back home, but apparently, my exhaustion got the best of me, and I passed out right in the chair.
Someone’s palms touched my cheeks, followed by soft lips kissing mine. I opened my eyes and saw Jillian, leaning over me. She was still wearing the outfit from the club. The only difference was that now her shirt was gone, giving me even more reasons for my imagination to go totally wild. I pushed one hand into her hair and pulled her lips back to mine. She moaned softly into my mouth, and I reached my other hand to unfasten her bra. Tossing it to the floor, I took her full breasts in my palms, caressing her hardened nipples with my thumbs. Her palms slid down my chest, grabbing my shirt and ripping it open; the buttons scattered all over the floor.
She smiled devilishly down at me and then leaned closer, kissing my lips again and then trailed small kisses on my neck and down, all the way to the waistband of my jeans. She then unzipped my jeans, and pushed them down, just enough to free me. Wrapping her fingers around my cock, she licked the tip and then took me fully into her mouth, making the blood run like crazy through my veins. God, it all happened so fast, I didn’t have a chance to realize what was going on.
I could feel Jill’s lips sliding up and down my shaft, killing all the thoughts left in my head. I didn’t think I had ever gotten so much pleasure from things like this, but right now, it felt like travelling up to the heavens, and enjoying every second there.
When I thought I could no longer stand the torture of the most delicious and kissable lips ever, I heard someone screaming.
What the...
I opened my eyes, blinded by the brightness of the sun, shining through the window. Where am I?
“Are you out of your fucking mind, Oliver?”
I turned my head to the sound of Jill’s voice and the memory of the last night and the dream came to my head. Oh shit…
“You scared me to death, you idiot!” She threw a pillow right in my face.
“Hey, I can explain!” I said, catching the second pillow before it could hit me too.
“Explain what? That you are a psycho, stalking girls and watching them sleep?”
“Sounds creepy.”
“No shit? But that’s exactly what you are doing now!”
I took a second look at her, and laughed. “You look really funny in this veil.”
“What?” She went over to the mirror and grimaced at her appearance. “Ugh, I knew today was gonna suck, I just didn’t realize it was going to suck this much.” She took the veil off and tossed it to the floor.
“Why did you sleep here, in this room, I mean?” I asked, still sitting in the chair. I didn’t want Jill to notice the hump in my jeans and freak out even more.
“Why do you care? You’ve moved out, so it’s not your room anymore.” She gave me another angry glance and went out into the hall. I looked down at my jeans, cursed i
n frustration and followed her. Why couldn’t she wait for the amazing dream to come to its logical end? It would have simplified my life a lot.
She went into the kitchen and took one of the glasses to pour some water in it.
“Thirsty?”
“That is not the right fucking word for what I am right now, Oliver.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten so drunk last night then?”
“And you are what? Morality police?”
“No, but I care about you.”
At first, she said nothing, but then she shook her head and started laughing. “You are killing me, you know that? Seriously, Oliver, is that some freaking way to prove something to me?”
“I’m not trying to prove anything to you.”
“Then what the hell are you doing here?” She slammed the glass hard against the table, making the water spill all over it.
“I followed you here because I was worried that your pretty outfit, barely covering anything, would attract too much unnecessary attention.”
“Unnecessary attention? Have you tripped and landed on your head? What if I did want to attract attention? What if it was exactly what I needed last night?”
I bet she didn’t even realize that she was standing in front of me, shouting at me, wearing nothing but her lingerie. How was that even possible to fight with her when she looked so damn amazing?
“What? You don’t know what to say?” She asked, staring at me with her hands on her hips.
“You know, it’s really hard to think or talk, seeing you like this.” I pointed to her bra and panties.
She looked down, and rolled her eyes. “As if it’s the first time you’ve seen me like this.”
“I have seen more.”
“I know, and don’t think I have never regretted the moment I let you see more,” she snapped, turning away from me.
“Where are you going?”