“You’re really making me nervousness Lou. Can you please just say what you are trying to say?”
He nods his head slowly, taking another deep breath. “I’ve taken care of your brother for now. He won’t be coming around the house anymore, and if he does he won’t be able to get past the gate, as we’ve installed cameras around the perimeter and the security guards are constantly checking everything… But you won’t be living here forever. No matter how difficult it may be to talk about this, we have to discuss what happens after David is gone... He is going to make sure you are financially secure after he passes. Based on that, you should be able to afford having your own security personnel, but I doubt you want to have a bodyguard shadow your every move indefinitely. I understand you are planning on going back to school in the fall, and I can only imagine how weird it might be to have a bodyguard walk around the campus with you. Your other options are to take self-defense classes, get a gun, or move far away from here, and maybe start over somewhere else with a new name and a new identity. But I have a feeling none of those options are ideal for you, correct?”
Ideal? None of those options are remotely palatable.
“You’re right. I’ve thought about that too, and I honestly don’t know what I should do.”
“I know. It’s an impossible position to be in. In addition to that, we have to think about what happens in a few weeks when David’s condition starts to get worse. Tom is probably going to show up again towards the end, and although he has no legal rights to keep you away from David, he could create a lot of drama. And from the discussion I had with him, I have a feeling he will. As long as David is home, I can have the security guards turn him away, but if we move David to a hospital, it would be hard to keep him away from David’s room. He’s a conniving manipulative man and for some reason he has it in his head to keep you away from David. He could come up with a story as to why your presence is harmful to David and try to get the courts involved. The way I see it, there’s only one way to guarantee he can’t keep you away and that’s if you’re close family.” Lou says the last part in a low voice while avoiding my eyes.
“I don’t understand. I’m not related to David. Are you suggesting David should adopt me?”
A hearty laugh escapes his mouth. “That would be one way to go about it, though I have to admit that idea didn’t cross my mind.” He pauses to take a breath before continuing. “Adoptions take time Aleah, particularly since you’re over eighteen and David doesn’t have much time left...my idea is for you to marry David.”
My jaw drops at those words. I must have heard that incorrectly. Did he just suggest I marry David?
“WHAT? You can’t be serious?”
“Hear me out before you say no. First, you should know this was my idea, not David’s. But I mentioned it to David yesterday and after I explained all of my reasoning, he agreed with me that it’s the best way to resolve both issues - your brother and Tom at the same time. My understanding is that your family is very conservative, and they really want you married. I had a private detective talk to some of your brothers’ friends. The PR says they really think that your behavior has hurt the family reputation and want to get you settled down. If you marry David, you would be living here officially as David’s wife, not just living in some guy’s house. That should resolve the majority of their issues with you. And after David passes away, you would be considered the widow of a well-respected, wealthy man. From what I’ve learned, I think that knowing you married such a rich man would actually make your family very happy. I doubt they would bother you after that. Plus, the Pierson name goes a long way in this town. It would be very helpful to you in general, in the future.”
When Lou sees the scorn on my face, he raises his hands before I have a chance to open my mouth. “Wait, let me finish first. I know you are going to say that you don’t want to marry a man because his family name might be beneficial to you in the future. But that’s not why I am suggesting you should marry him. That would be an added benefit, but the main reason is to help keep your family away from you and to ensure you can stay by David’s side till the end… Aleah – the only way to guarantee that Tom can’t interfere with your ability to stay by David’s side is if you’re his wife. You know how David’s family is. The few times they’ve come to visit him the past couple of months have been disastrous. Even if they do show up at the end, it probably wouldn’t be pleasant. David’s grown really close to you the past few months. He would want you by his side, especially at the end, and that is the only way to guarantee it could happen. I know this is a big deal. I understand this is probably not how you envisioned your wedding, but please think about it. Don’t say no without giving it some good thought. You don’t have to say anything now. In fact, I’ll leave right now, so you don’t say anything. Think it through. Take as long as you need, and just let me or David know when you’re ready.”
As I lie awake in my bed staring at the ceiling at the early hours of the morning, my mind is still reeling with questions from the earlier conversation with Lou. His suggestion has shaken me to my core, making me question everything.
During the period of my friendship with David, each time someone assumed there was something going on between us, I would cringe, getting frustrated at the judgmental attitudes of people who couldn’t imagine an older man having an innocent relationship with a young woman. Now, however, I wonder if it’s me who’s been naïve. Is it possible that David has had other ideas about me all this time? The thought has my stomach roiling in disgust.
After running these troubling thoughts through my head all night long, I decide that I have to confront him. I have to ask David first thing in the morning.
Upon walking into David’s room the next morning, seeing the lines of worry on his frail face makes some of my anger dissipate, but not enough to prevent me from asking the questions. I need answers.
“Good morning, David,” I say, in a serious tone. “Lou talked to me yesterday about your idea of marrying me, and I can’t get this out of my head ever since. I have to ask, at what point during our friendship did you start looking at me as more than a friend? More than a grandchild, as you’ve referred to me on multiple occasions, and wanting something different?” I ask, with a hard edge to my voice.
He cringes, his face going pale and his eyes displaying so much pain that it is as if my words have physically hurt him.
“I was worried you would see it that way...I told Lou too. I didn’t want to risk making you uncomfortable or worse, losing you, but he convinced me to let you hear it,” he starts, his voice laced with pain.
“You have to believe me Aleah, I don’t see you as anything but a beautiful strong young lady who has a heart of gold and is nice enough to adopt me as her grandfather during my last days on this earth. I have to be honest with you, if I had met you a couple of years ago, it is possible that I would look at you differently, even see you as a sexy piece of meat. I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, but I want to be absolutely honest with. You should know that’s who I used to be, but the last year has opened my eyes and made me a changed man... It’s funny how staring death in the eye changes your perspective. I’m not that person anymore and that is not why I want to marry you. Lou told me about your brother and we’ve been having a couple of PI’s dig up things on him and your family. I don’t know how to tell you this…your brother seems to have some serious issues, the most obvious ones anger and substance abuse. I think he needs help. He should probably go to an in-residence facility. I’d like to offer to help to pay for it, but I doubt your family will take that very well. Lou and I went over all of our options. If we just approach your family with money, they would probably be offended, given that they view me as an older guy who’s taking advantage of their young daughter. We could make threats, but that wouldn’t help in the long term either. Besides, I think your parents really feel your actions have hurt the family reputation. As unfair and ridiculous as that may be, it is the way they think
. When Lou first suggested that I should marry you, I felt the same way about the idea as you do now, but as he explained his reasoning and we went over all other options, I started to agree with him.”
He takes a few deep breaths, clearing his throat before he says what comes next. “You should know that what I have in mind is not a real marriage. I’m not capable of having any…any sexual activity anymore, but even if I was, I wouldn’t touch you in that way. I respect you too much, care about you way too much to ever do that. This would be a marriage in name and appearance only.”
Hearing him say that makes some of the uneasy feeling leave my stomach, finally allowing me to breathe a little easier.
“You should also know,” he continues, “that I plan to take care of you financially, regardless of whether you agree to this or not. I’m leaving you enough money to make sure you don’t have to worry about money anytime in the near future.”
“You don’t have to do that. I’m not here for money.”
“I know and that’s particularly why I’m giving you money. You’re too nice for your own good. You’ll need money when you go back to school and back to real life. I have no doubt that you can make it out there on your own with hard work and determination, but there’s no reason for it. I have more money than I know what to do with. And don’t worry, I won’t give you too much. Just enough to make sure you’re comfortable and financially secure, but not too much. Money tends to change and corrupt people, and I really don’t want you to change. Plus, if I give you too much, Tom and the rest of my greedy brood will no doubt come after you. There is no reason to subject you to that... I’m giving you a penthouse condo in one of my residential towers, a car of your choice, and a few million dollars in a diversified investment portfolio. Nothing that would put even a small dent in my pocket, but enough for you to be set for a while, at least until you’ve finished school.”
A few million dollars? That’s more than what I hoped to be able to make my whole life, and he’s saying that would be enough for me until I finish school. I can’t help the chuckle that escapes my mouth. “I think that would be more than enough for my whole life. I wouldn’t even know what to do with a few million dollars.”
“That’s why I’m having someone at my company manage it for you. I’m giving that to you outright, not as a part of my will. That way no one can dispute the will. Plus, if I don’t give you anything in my will, my family will leave you alone after I’m gone. If you do agree to the marriage, we’ll do the transaction before the wedding, making it legally clear that it had nothing to do with it.”
His mention of the word “wedding” makes me uncomfortable again, unconsciously making me cringe. Seeing my expression, David takes a shaky breathe. “I understand that the idea makes you uncomfortable, but think about it. This should really help with your family. If I marry you, I can send your dad a letter making it clear that I care about his daughter and that I expect him to leave you alone. I could also offer to send Shane to rehab. If that comes from your husband, it would be very different than coming from a guy they think you live with… Plus, that would be the only way to guarantee you can stay by my side on my last days. That’s probably selfish of me, but I would really like to have someone that actually cares about me by my side when I’m dying. You’ve seen Tom, he would probably raise havoc either way, but Lou seems to think the only way to guarantee Tom can’t keep you away from me is if you’re my wife.”
I know how difficult it is for David to admit he needs someone, let alone say that to their face. Him asking me this takes a lot out of him. I look into his conflicted pale eyes and remember everything he’s done for me. How he saved my life, gave me a job and a place to stay when everybody else was shutting every single door on my face. How he had a heart attack just last week when he tried to come look for me to make sure I’m okay, and how even now in his crippling state, he’s thinking how to make my life comfortable after he’s gone. I gaze into his frail face seeing his vulnerability, and I know I can’t say no him, can’t deny this one request he’s made of me.
I hold my fists tight trying to stop my hands from trembling and close my eyes, taking a shaky breath. I can’t believe what I’m about to say, but I force my lips open and say it before I change my mind. “Okay. I’ll do it.”
“You’ll do what?” He asks in surprise.
“I’ll marry you,” I whisper.
His jaw drops, his pupils getting big. “You don’t have to decide so fast. Just think about it. I know this is a big decision. I just want you to give it some serious thought.”
“I’ll do it,” I repeat. “I don’t need to think about it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m sure,” I lie. I know if I take any time to think this through, I’ll back out, so I open my mouth and say the words that will change the course of my life forever. “Let’s do it. I’m ready as soon as you are.”
We get married two days later at a somber ceremony in David’s living room. He asked me if I wanted a dress or flowers, or wanted to set something up in the backyard. My answer to all those questions was a resounding no. I didn’t want anything that would make this charade feel like a real wedding. The less it resembled a real wedding, the less I had to face the reality of the situation. I was getting into a sham marriage with a seventy eight year old dying man who had become my closest friend.
Throughout the short ceremony, all I can think about is how this is so different than anything I had envisioned my wedding day to be. The irony of my situation doesn’t escape me. I ran away from parent’s house to get out of being forced into a loveless marriage with an older man, and now I am doing exactly the same thing on my own free will.
I keep telling myself that this is not comparable to what would have happened to me had I stayed home. That there are legitimate reasons for doing this and it is temporary. That David is a good man who actually cares about me, and I’m doing this in return for everything he has done for me, but I can’t keep my heart from being shredded at the thought of my wedding day resembling this. I catch David’s concerned eyes on me and realize that my face must be an open book to all the devastation I feel inside. So I plaster a fake small on my lips and bite the inside of my mouth hard to stop the tears from flowing.
The ceremony moves fast and before I know it, it’s my turn to say my vows. For some reason right when the minister asks me to repeat my vows after him, I picture Aiden’s face in my mind and what his reaction will be when he hears this, and the thought breaks my heart into a million shattered pieces. I stifle a sob, swallowing over the huge lump in my throat, and repeat the words in a trembling voice.
When it’s time to put the rings on, David reaches into his pocket and pulls a small red velvet box, taking out a vintage looking gold wedding ring with a big yellow diamond in the middle.
“This ring has been in my family for a very long time,” he says, while putting the ring on my finger, “and I can’t think of anyone better to give it to. I want you to keep it after I’m gone. Please don’t ever sell it or give it away. It’s a family heirloom for us.”
“I shouldn’t have this then. You should give it to your daughter or granddaughters.”
“I want you to have it,” he says firmly.
The gesture warms my heart, reminding of why I care so much for this man and why I decided to do this in the first place, so I swallow my pain, drown my misery, and force myself to look happy.
After the short ceremony, I move my stuff into David’s room, as we have to give the semblance of a real marriage. Thankfully since coming back from the hospital, David has been sleeping in a hospital grade bed that they’ve put in a corner of the huge master bedroom, leaving the king size bed for me to use.
That night hours after David falls asleep, I lie awake in bed staring at the ceiling and thinking how different this is from anything I imagined my wedding night to be. I wonder why it is that no matter how hard I try I can’t get my life on a normal track. Why is it that eve
ry sliver of hope I relentlessly hold on to is eventually stolen from my grasp?
Why couldn’t my family just leave me alone? Why can’t David’s for that matter? All I’ve done all my life has been to play by the rules, work hard and try to be kind to everyone around me and in return I get burned over and over again.
My family thinks I’m a selfish whore and David’s think I’m a gold-digger slut. I can’t imagine what they think of me now. I wonder why is it that people think they can judge others based on preconceived notions. They’re not in my head, not living my life. How can they judge me when they haven’t walked my journey? How can they assume they know what motivates me, and worse how can they justify coming after me and attacking me based on those assumptions? The thoughts break my heart over and over again. I bury my head under the blanket to stifle the sounds of my sobs, and surrender to the waves of agony overtaking my body.
I’m stumbling along the hallway trying to make my way down-stairs for lunch when I notice a somber looking Aiden sitting in one of the chairs in the living room. He has both of his hands covering his face.
I stand rooted to the floor for a few seconds slowly taking in his magnificent presence. The sight of him still takes my breath away, but this time, the feeling is combined with a nausea inducing anxiety, as I dread his reaction to the marriage. I think about chickening out and walking right back to my room to hide out until he’s gone, but before I have a chance to act on those cowardly thoughts, he looks up and locks his eyes with me. We stand there lost in each other’s gaze for a few minutes, paralyzed at the depth of emotions running in between us, and muted by the of the complexity of the situation we find ourselves in.
The intensity of our stare reminds me of my first encounter with Aiden, and how at that moment there was a sliver of hope in my heart that maybe just maybe one day I could have a chance of something real with this beautiful man. Instead, I was forced into marriage with his seventy eight year old grandfather. Oh, how cruel can fate be.
Relentless Hope (Resilient Hearts) Page 10