A huge grin crosses his beautiful face. “You are, aren’t you?” He chuckles, “Our sweet innocent Aleah is into kinky books?”
“Who said they’re kinky?” I blurt out, before I have a chance to think about what I’m saying.
He bursts into laughter. “Who would have thought?” he says, with a shake of his head.
I cover my red face with my hands, embarrassment radiating from every ounce of my body.
Sensing my discomfort, he decides to go easy on me. “Hey. It’s okay. We all have our vices. Yours is probably the healthiest.”
“Reading is not a vice,” I say firmly, my face still covered with my hands.
“Whatever you say,” he says with a smile.
I realize the only way to gain my footing here is to change the topic.
“So what are you reading?” I ask pointing to the thick book sitting on the table by his chair.
“It’s a book about motivation. What motivates people and how to get motivated in life. It’s a load of crap if you ask me, but the old man ordered me to read it, and the boss gets what he wants…even from the grave,” he says, his voice laced with bitterness.
“Why do you hate him so much?” I can’t help asking.
“I don’t hate him,” is the only thing he says.
He remains quite for a long time, as if debating how to explain his feelings towards David. I give him the space he needs. Just when I think he’s not going to say anything more, he opens his mouth, sucking in a deep breath before starting, “I’ve had a love/hate relationship with Grandpa almost all my life. When I was little, I looked up to him like a super hero. He was my famous Grandfather; the super-rich and powerful man who demanded respect from everyone, but was the kindest sweetest person to me. I idolized him for a very long time. When I was a kid, he would sit on the floor playing with me for hours whenever he came to visit. He was always bringing me the best gifts and scolding my parents whenever they tried to discipline me…trouble was, he would come around so far and few in between that I always had to beg him to come by. As the years went by his infrequent visits became more and more rare. When my parents separated, my mom and Grandpa got into a huge fight. After that, things at the house…” He pauses, taking a shaky breath, “Things started getting really messed up at the house. I would call Grandpa to let him know what was going on. Whenever I was able to reach him, he would be as kind as ever over the phone. He would promise to help us out, to make things better, but he rarely showed up. Instead, he would send us a new nanny, more toys, more money, but never his actual time and attention. When I was fifteen, something…something happened that I had to run to Grandpa for, but even then, he made promises he never kept. Every time he made a promise and acted like he cares I would get excited thinking he’s finally coming through, but then he would break his promise again, causing even more disappointment.”
My heart breaks for the little boy that idolized the grandfather who never came through for him. It’s clear from the snippets of information I’ve heard and what he’s said today that Aiden had a rough childhood. It’s funny how people automatically assume that if you’re born into a rich family and are surrounded by wealth, you have an easy life. He’s so lucky, they would say, not knowing that wealth does not always bring happiness and stability, particularly to a child. Aiden’s pain is evident in the lines of the frown puckered on his face, in his fisted hands, and the way his breathing quickens when he speaks of his past. I can tell it’s not easy for him to talk about this, and it touches my heart that he’s sharing this with me. I want to encourage him to go on and share more of his past with me, so I nod my head, silently urging him to continue.
“When Grandpa married the bimbo, I was done with him. I realized that the guy I had looked up to all my life was really not who I thought he was. I didn’t want anything to do with him anymore... Of course, he wasn’t done with me. Grandpa always wanted things on his terms. He wanted to see his grandkids when he wanted, not when they needed him. He expected us to make ourselves available to him at his whim…well, I was done with that. I went through a phase when I didn’t want anything to do with him. I became really rebellious in my teenage years, not caring what anyone and in particular what Grandpa thought. But he always had the upper hand. He was paying for our lifestyle and liked to remind us of that whenever he could. He would set up these rules that we had to follow and he would threaten to cut down our trust money if we didn’t do, as he wanted. I soon learned that even if I didn’t give him the time of the day, I still had to follow his rules. That made me even more resentful. I went to the college he wanted me to go to and picked a major he suggested. But after college I was done. I decided that even if he cuts my trust fund off completely, I’m not going to let him rule my life anymore... So when he told me he wants me to go to graduate school, I told him to take a hike... As you can imagine,” he chuckles, “that particular conversation didn’t go too well. He called me lazy, ungrateful and incapable of doing anything on my own, so I decided to show him I could get into any school I wanted to on my own. I applied to all the top tier business schools, not intending to really attend any of them. When I got accepted to Harvard, I decided to go tour the school, just to see what it’s about. I was really intrigued by the tour. Afterwards, I decided it would be stupid to pass up such an opportunity just to spite my grandpa. I went to graduate school, but this one was because I wanted to, not because of him. After I finished, the rift between us gradually started to close. When he got sick, he changed so much during such a short period of time that I was stunned. All of a sudden, he was always the sweet kind Grandpa that used to sit on the floor and play with me. Patient. Loving. And caring. I started to feel the pull I had felt towards him all those years ago…but then…then he married you, and it was over for me after that. I felt like all the recent changes had been a façade just to get his kids to be around him when he needed them, and with you…I…I don’t even know how to explain how I felt… I wanted to throttle him with my hands when I heard about the marriage…and then to find out last night that he didn’t even tell you about the kind of life he lived before, I would have killed him myself, if he was still alive.”
“Aiden,” I feel the need to jump in, “you have to understand that there were legitimate reasons for the marriage.”
“I’m sure, there were,” he says, his voice laced with sarcasm. “You're still defending him, huh?” He sounds hurt.
“I’m not defending him... I’m just telling you the truth, so you have the full picture. I have a hard time reconciling the picture you paint of him with the man I came to know during those last months. I’m upset at him for not telling me about his past, but I know he had kindness in him too. Not all of what I saw could have been fake… It just couldn’t.”
“I guess we just have to agree to disagree on that,” he says after a long pause.
With the turn of the conversation, our mood has turned sour, and our plans for a pleasant afternoon tainted. I decide to turn to lighter subjects, so I ask him to tell me about Harvard. We talk about our respective college experiences and before we know it, we’re smiling and teasing each other again.
After some quiet time of reading, Aiden rises from his chair, giving me a full view of his sexy body. I have to turn my head to stop myself from ogling. He gives me a sexy smile before turning his back to me and diving into the pool in one swift move.
My eyes follow his every motion, eating him up. He swims in fast strokes making a lap to one end of the pool and back. Every time he raises his arms to paddle, his muscular biceps glisten in the sun and turn my stomach into knots. He comes up after a couple of full laps and lies on his back in the water, keeping his eyes closed.
“Liking what you see?” he says, with a smirk, while his eyes are still closed.
I’m shell-shocked. Does the man have eyes on the back of his head? Can he see through closed eyes? For the second time this afternoon, he’s caught me staring when I thought he wasn’t looking. Well, he ma
y have caught me, but I’ll be damned if I’m about to admit it.
“I wasn’t looking at you. I’m watching the reflection of the sun on the pool. The sun’s reflecting off the surface of the water, making the water ripple in interesting hues when you swim through it.” I impress myself with the lie.
He bursts into a laugh. “Wow. That was creative.”
I laugh, knowing full well that there is no point in denying his statement. After a few minutes, he swims to the edge of the pool closest to my chair, and leans against the wall, his arms resting on the top edge.
“I forgot to bring a towel. Would you mind grabbing one for me from the storage closet?” he asks, pointing to a closet on the other side of the pool.
I rise from my chair, “Of course not. I’ll be right back.”
A couple of minutes later, I walk up to him with a towel in hand. As soon as my feet come close enough to his hands, he grabs both of my ankles, pulling me in one swift move. I’m propelled into the pool so fast; I’m under water before I realize what is happening. I manage to come up for air as fast I can, bursting with fury.
“Aiden,” I scream out his name, as soon as I catch my breath. “I can’t believe you did that. I’m going to kill you.”
“Yea?” He laughs. “You have to catch me first,” he says as he swims to the other side. I follow him, swimming as fast I can. When I reach him, he ducks under water and I follow suit, hitting any body part I can find. We both come up for air at the same time. Realizing I’m no match for him physically, I start splashing water at his face.
“No, you didn’t.” He says with a laugh, as he sends waves after waves of water to my face. I try to duck, but he’s relentless. I’m no match for his speed and the volume of water his masculine hands can move. But I hold my ground, splashing as much water his way as I can. Before we know it, we’re both laughing uncontrollably like little kids. I hold both my hands up, “Okay, okay, you win, stop, I can’t keep up.” I say, as I’m doubling over with laughter. As soon as I’m able to catch my breath, I realize I haven’t laughed so much in a very long time.
I make the mistake of turning my gaze into his sparkling emerald eyes then and the intensity I see in them takes me by surprise. We lock eyes and time stops. His eyes tell me what his lips can’t. He’s feeling the same electricity, the same connection that my body feels, and he’s as conflicted about it as I am.
His eyes move slowly to my lips, lingering there for a few seconds, before traveling further down my body. I look down at my chest to see my wet tank top clinging tightly to my breasts. The cool breeze coming off the ocean has hardened my nipples and they are peeking through my thin bra into my top. I look further down and notice my white pants clearly showing my pink panties. I turn my head back up to his eyes and the look in his has chills running up and down my spine. He moves his eyes back to my lips. And butterflies soar in my stomach, goose bumps forming all over my skin.
He sucks in a deep breath, bringing his eyes back to mine. “Run, Aleah. Run. If you stay here for one more second, I’m not sure I’ll be able to control myself.”
My heart wants to scream I don’t want you to control yourself, but my brain, the place where fears and insecurities rule the day, wins this battle. I spin around and swim as fast I can to the other side of the pool, getting out of the water and far away from him before I can give into something I know I will regret.
The last few days have been surprisingly calm and pleasant. I’ve spent the majority of my waking moments with Aiden, and time spent in his company is nothing short of spectacular. We exercise together in the mornings and spend the rest of the day reading books, watching TV and checking out the local bakeries and coffee shops. To my delight, I’ve learned that just like me, Aiden has a sweet tooth. Since then he has introduced me to some of the best cupcake places in the L.A. area.
He hasn’t brought any women home, but he did stay out late a couple of times, once coming home almost at the crack of down. Each night he has gone out, no matter how much I told myself that I shouldn’t care, I still couldn’t make myself go to sleep until I heard the click of his bedroom door. And each night my head was swimming in jealously and my heart in pain as I thought about how he refuses to make any advances on me, but is out with other women late into the night.
Not only is Aiden refusing to give in to the undeniable chemistry between us, after our close encounter in the pool, he is also taking great pains to avoid any similar situation. We never talked what happened at the pool, but it seems we’ve come to a silent agreement to avoid placing ourselves in a similar encounter. Aiden tries not to sit too close to me and is always careful not to touch me. Still a few times, when we accidently touched, I felt every nerve in my body come to life. Aiden always tries to ease the tension by cracking a joke and using his wacky sense of humor.
But tonight, as we sit across from each other at the dinner table, it appears he’s not even inclined to use his speaking ability, let alone his sense of humor. His head is bent down low, his eyes stuck at his dinner plate, but he has barely touched his food. I know he’s nervous about the meeting with the attorneys tomorrow, and I want to comfort him, but I don’t know how.
“Penny for your thoughts,” I finally say, trying to get him to talk.
He raises his head slowly, taking a shaky breath. “Just a lot of stuff on my mind,” he says, his fingers pushing his dinner plate away.
“You know it’s going to be okay tomorrow, right?” I say, pausing to make sure, I have his full attention before continuing, “David loved you more than anything. He wouldn’t make you do anything too crazy. Whatever it is, I know you’ll be able to get through it.”
“I’m not worried about being able to do it. No matter what it is, I know I’ll do it. I’m stubborn like that. What I’m worried about is the price I will have to pay to get through it,” he says, worry lines covering his forehead. “Grandpa wouldn’t do anything without a reason. You heard the will. He wants to change my perspective. To me that means he wants to change me, and I’m just worried about what he wants to change me to and whether or not I want to get there.”
“You’re not having doubts about taking part in the experience, are you?”
“Yes…no… I don’t know… I know I won’t quit. It’s not in my blood to quit. I’m a fighter, not a quitter. But, I’m just nervous about what I’m putting on the line for this.”
“It’s normal to be nervous. You don’t know what your life is going to be like for the next… God knows how long, and you’re right, it’s scary not knowing what the ultimate goal of the whole ordeal is. But I know David cared a lot about you and he was a wise man, at least in his old age…” I quickly correct myself, “Whatever it is he wanted you to learn, I have no doubt it will be good for you at the end.”
He stays quiet for a long time, staring into the distance in deep thought, when all of a sudden, he whirls his head around towards me, turning his emerald eyes to meet mine.
“Can you go with me tomorrow?” he asks in a timid voice.
I am taken back by the tone of his voice, and the vulnerability portrayed in his eyes. My heart rate quickens. I can’t believe this incredible man wants me to be a part of such an important event in his life, and he cares about my answer so much that his usual confident attitude has turned into this timid behavior.
“You want me to go to the reading with you tomorrow?” I can’t help asking, my heart needing confirmation that my ears heard him correctly.
“Yes,” he says with a shy smile, “would you want to go?”
I can’t help the huge smile crossing my face. “Of course, I’d love to.”
His eyes twinkle. The lines of worry on his face being replaced by a wide grin, even if it is temporary.
We leave the house an hour before the meeting the next morning. I try to tell him that there is no point in going there so early, but Aiden is so on edge that I decide arguing with him at the moment is pointless.
When we get to the law
firm, the receptionist leads us to a small conference room. Lou and Steve walk into the room at the same time and both look shocked when they see me. Steve recovers first.
“Good morning, Aiden. Good morning, Aleah. It’s great to see you both here, but Aleah…hmm, you didn’t need to come to today’s reading.”
“I know… I’m…” I stall.
“I asked her to come with me,” Aiden cuts in.
I catch a glimpse of Lou’s face in the corner of my eyes and notice his lips turning up into a smile.
“I’m not sure if that’s okay,” Steve says apologetically.
“Did David say anything about this having to be confidential? That Aiden can’t talk about it with his friends or he can’t bring anyone with him?” Lou asks Steve.
“No, he never said anything about that either way, but…”
“Well then, it’s fine. I knew David very well, and believe me when I say he would have been okay with Aleah being here,” Lou says firmly.
“Excuse us for a second,” Steve says, walking out the door and pointing to Lou to follow him.
After a few minutes, both men come back to the room, each taking a seat at the table. “Okay, let’s get started,” Steve says in a serious tone.
Aiden and I exchange a glance. I guess this means I can stay. Aiden takes a seat across the table from Lou and I sit next to him. While we’re waiting for Steve to open a sealed envelope and get his papers in order, I notice Aiden’s leg bouncing up and down uncontrollably under the table, clearly a nervous habit. I instinctively put my hand on his thigh under the table to comfort him. He instantly whirls his head around, his eyes burning into mine. I give a small nod of my head, silently giving him words of comfort. He nods his head in return, a small smile turning up at the corner of his lips.
“Ahem…” We hear Steve clearing his throat. Aiden turns his head towards Steve, but not before placing his hand on top of mine on his thigh and lacing his fingers through mine. He gives my hand a small squeeze and I wrap my fingers around his. The small gesture makes warmth spread to corners of my heart I didn’t even know existed.
Relentless Hope (Resilient Hearts) Page 17