Masochism of M: A Sexual Mémoir

by Janice Collins

  A couple of blowjobs my rear. I was rode hard and put away wet that night, and my van has never been rocked like that before.

  First Sir slid the side van door open quietly but quickly. His way was to always proceed with caution, but proceed swiftly nonetheless. He didn’t hesitate or look around or say anything, ever. He just did it. In keeping, he ushered me inside and he and Johnny followed.

  Once inside, the minivan, though hot, seemed roomy enough, even for two giants and one slender woman. Since there was only one bench seat, the other having been removed, I took my place on the carpeted floor at the feet of the two men.

  We were about to make the heat inside worse. It was a sweltering night.

  “Roll those windows down a bit.” Sir ordered. I complied. The air sifting in was barely cooler, but it was moving air.

  I had only seconds to ponder whether anyone had seen or heard us before Sir grabbed my hair and pulled me to his waiting crotch. I knew to unzip and unbuckle him as quickly as I could manage. Of course, I struggled with the belt buckle. Sir deftly unfastened its catch and I had my mouth on his hot flesh in a heartbeat.

  He allowed several moments of pleasuring him before he instructed me to attend to Johnny. I reached obediently for Johnny’s pants only to discover he was already there. His hot cock was out and half full and he let out an aching groan the instant my lips touched his head. I knew what and how Johnny liked his blowjobs. The times I’d been given to him, though only numbering five or six, were intense, and I’d been instructed by Sir every inch of the way, so I set to work to give Johnny as much oral pleasure as I knew how.

  I glanced up at Sir as he watched me with relish. Through clouded eyes I could see his green eyes flashing in the dim light. He sat close to Johnny and murmured his approval as I slid my tongue up and down, sucking with long slurps, and licking gently Johnny’s large, fleshy head. Johnny didn’t like the strong, firm sucking pressure on his cock that Sir loved and demanded. Johnny liked gentle, wet, slurping and licking that let the saliva trickle down to his balls. He liked his swollen head encircled gently, no rough stuff for him. Johnny was barely able to tolerate the touching of his testicles, let alone tonguing the way Sir liked. I could only kiss and caress Johnny’s crotch and give slight, moist, ever-so-gentle strokes with my dripping wet tongue.

  Sir was saying something…was he talking to Johnny or to me?

  “You’re so lucky….”

  I smiled up at him with a murmuring pleasured sound, mouth still on Johnny.

  Sir repeated himself, but now I could see he was looking straight down at me.

  “You’re so lucky to be doing that.”

  I paused with an inquisitive look.

  “Oh, yes Sir, I am lucky to be here with you, Sir.”

  “Yes you are, but you’re especially lucky to be doing that.”

  The comment was odd. Funny. But I had no time to contemplate it now. Johnny was growing larger and larger in my mouth.

  Sir was moving off the seat and kneeling on the floor behind me. I assumed he was going to fuck me from behind. I was wrong.

  Suddenly I felt his fist pressing hard against my cunt. I knew. This he never was able to do. I could never take Sir’s huge fist completely inside me. Though he had tried in painful earnest a number of times, Sir could never fist-fuck me. His hands were just too large. Nothing had changed now, except the surroundings. Sir knew that I could not make a sound here. Not with all my neighbors settled comfy cozy in their houses, some with their windows open wide on this blazing hot summer night. Some possibly out stargazing, or Peeping Tom-ing in their yards.

  I felt the screaming, stretching pain. It burned like fire. I was going to rip. I knew I couldn’t take the girth of his full fist; hell, I couldn’t even accommodate the four fingers he had tried to force inside me. There was no way to make room for his fully doubled fist. Panic time! I took my mouth off Johnny to squeak my protest before my skin really tore.

  “Keep your mouth on him!!” Sir boomed. He was absolutely having none of it.

  I obeyed but squeaked nonetheless.

  “Id oon’t oork” I tried to manage, mouth full of Johnny.

  “It will work.” Sir hissed, stretching me ever harder.

  “Sphoph!” I squealed, still blowing Johnny, afraid to halt. “Pweaffh!” I begged, hysterically, the noises sounding ridiculous.

  “Do it right!” Sir warned.

  “She was doing it right, until you stopped her.” Johnny tossed lightly, coming to my rescue.

  “I’m going to fist-fuck her and she’s going to take it.” Sir commanded again. Johnny always seemed to shake Sir’s confidence.

  “I can’t, Sir!” I begged releasing Johnny from my mouth a second time and spinning around to retreat from the pain.

  Sir had used considerable strength to try to force open my cunt just now. I was wet; he was strong, but nothing short of ten hours of hard labor was going to widen my pelvis enough to allow my Owner’s ham-sized fist to fuck my cunt.

  I lowered my head in a praying position before him. Sir was angered, but there was nothing of any practical nature he could do in this populous area but relent…for now. Another time, another place, perhaps I would be forced, torn possibly, but for now not even Sir wanted to risk my screams alarming god-fearing neighbors with their torches and pitchforks, and calls to 911.

  “Roll up those windows.” Sir ordered. “Your air-conditioning working?”

  “Yes…Sir…” I mumbled, reaching through the front seats for the key. I had thought it impractical to turn on the engine and bask us in the eerie green glow of the dash light, but given my recent transgression, I didn’t dare point that out. I turned it on. The air did feel wonderful, pouring icy relief over our sweaty bodies.

  I was on all fours between the seats completing my mission with the A/C when I felt Sir parting my skirt from behind.

  “Stay down,” he murmured coarsely.

  I felt my pantyhose being pulled down, cheeks being parted, but he wasn’t aiming for my abused cunt this time. He was directing his huge, hard cock at my ass. Between the seats, constricted and confined as I was, there was no place to which I could escape if I’d wanted to. I didn’t want to. Sir spat unceremoniously on the head of his cock/my tiny asshole and then shoved his full length straight in. His hard cock slid unrestricted into my hapless rectum stretching and forcing, rending with its horrible piercing pain. It was much less painful than the fist-fucking attempt, so I dare not screw this up. I held perfectly still to his will and soon the sharp dagger pain gave way to mounting pleasure. I had no choice but to receive it all. He was pounding me with every inch as I leaned confined over the center glove box in the narrow alleyway between the seats. My shoulders were being driven into the armrests and the gearshift was hammering my face. There was nothing I could do except relax and enjoy it while the big car rocked around us.

  Sir took full advantage of my predicament. He reveled in it, remarking lasciviously to Johnny how good, hot, and soft my asshole felt. He encouraged Johnny to experience this, to rip me apart, to get a piece of this ass that he alone owned and which he was so aptly pounding now. Sir took a rough handful of my hair and jerked. My head snapped back like a horse being reined. I gasped a squeal as he hammered me with all his might as if he were hell bent on spitting me fore and aft.

  “Aww, now don’t be so rough with her,” Johnny remarked sadly, watching intently. It was met with Sir’s conciliatory, “She loves it.” Both these statements I had heard made to Johnny a number of times over the years, and it usually worked, Johnny’s ploy to give me a reprieve. This time was no exception. Sir pounded my helpless ass a few more strokes and then backed out with a heaved sigh to re-seat himself beside the patiently waiting Johnny.

  Johnny’s cock had not deflated in the interim. To the contrary he was as hard as ever. He remarked hotly as he watched my mouth descend on Sir in the green glow of the dash light.

  As usual, Sir, ever the courteous host, offered his s
ubmissive’s services to his good friend and relative in the middle of his receiving pleasure himself. He must have been a Samurai in another life; it was exceptionally Japanese.

  “Take him in your mouth.” Sir ushered me to Johnny. Johnny didn’t refuse the kind offer. As I switched places on my knees, Johnny respectfully asked Sir if I could remove my dress.

  “Take it off.” Sir gave a little tug on my 'trashy' cotton dress. He spoke as though he were neglecting his hospitality not having done so before.

  I unzipped the back and started to pull. Sir stripped the little mini dress over my head with ease and gave it a toss to the corner.

  “Now the bra.” Sir continued, knowing full well Johnny’s preference.

  I slipped first one bra strap off my shoulder and then the other, and then slid the hooks to the front to unfasten. Sir and Johnny watched intently as my ample breasts fell free and my ever so responsive tits grew stiff before them in the chilling A/C.

  “Mmmm, titties,” Johnny growled hungrily. Yes, tits were one of Johnny’s favorites. He loved to have them in his face, rubbed on his cock and balls, and the nipples pressed into his mouth where he could suck and lick and nibble on them at will for long minutes of time. I accommodated him without prompting.

  I knew exactly what my Owner would have me do. I quickly removed my pantyhose and lay them by my heels. I climbed on Johnny with his pants down around his knees, and mounting him, I spread my naked thighs wide around his. I straddled him, encircling his neck with my arms and thrusting my ample breasts into his face. Jiggling them, I slapped his cheeks with my bobbing breasts and teased his nose and lips with my pink, swollen nipples. I was hoping he would bite them. I lowered my cunt straight onto his hard, throbbing cock and slipped it right in, slick as greased butter. I took him full tilt. I squealed and gasped as his cock hit home, tossing my head back with satisfaction. Johnny moaned unabashedly.

  Sir, meanwhile gathered my hose and held them loosely in the palm of his hand, feeling them, smelling them. Johnny liked 'titties', Sir liked legs and feet. I remember how he’d reacted in the Illinois cornfield that night ever so long ago when I’d carelessly tossed my crotch-sliced and pussy-juice-streaked hose out his Mercedes window. How he’d hopped right out, gathered them up, and stuck them in his pocket to take to 'his brother-in-law', saying how 'he’d go crazy' over seeing them. I pictured some impromptu altar somewhere with all my piles of spent pantyhose aligned on top awaiting a cum-sanctification ritual; or a trunk under lock and key in the darkest part of the basement or attic with tons of pairs of my soiled pantyhose squirreled away for their mutual rubbing pleasure.

  I let myself slide down as I straddled Johnny with my feet on the floor and fucked him up and down while my unrestrained tits bounced provocatively right in his sweaty face. I loved to tease him this way. It was great fun. I allowed my hard nipples to brush his cheeks, mouth, and nose in little flicking slaps till he could stand it no more.

  “Titties, oh, man, those titties,” he remarked throatily once more, grabbing them gently.

  I served them to him in the palms of my hands. One at a time I fed him my fat, bouncing, dusky-pink-budded, and hot titty flesh and let him suck on them to his pure delight. He’d suck a moment and lick and growl and then I’d switch to the opposite nipple and feed it to him as well. I took hold of the back of his head, forced my breast into his eager jaws, and allowed him to get a full mouthful. He didn’t resist in the slightest and helped me fill his mouth, begging for more. With guttural groans and throaty grunts like a pig rooting for acorns, Johnny made his usual animal sounds of lust, mouth filled with the soft, over-stuffed pillows of his brother-in-law’s whore. He couldn’t get enough. His appetite for 'tits' was insatiable. I accommodated him for as long as my Owner allowed, fucking Johnny, being titty-sucked by him, and feeling his thick cock pounding deep into my cunt.

  “Suck him,” I heard my Owner murmur throatily.

  Without hesitation I dismounted, to the groaning of Johnny’s frustration. Quickly, to shelve his disappointment I dove on his cunt-soaked cock like a nighthawk jumping its prey. I took him fully to the back of my throat and felt the choking that always resulted when I sucked deep. My Owner 'helped' me by pressing my head back down harder and faster. Grabbing a catch breath, I squealed, to my Owner’s delight.

  “Mmmm, yeah,” he exclaimed as he took hold of my wrists to clutch my arms behind my back, just in case I got any grand ideas of trying to evade the choking cock.

  Several long minutes of this forced rhythm on Johnny’s hard, fat cock produced the choking phlegm and floods of tears streaming down my face that Sir loved. He listened for it; he cherished it; he expected it, and he demanded it. Nothing short of raping the back of my throat would let him know I was truly his.

  Now and only now he gave me a reprieve by pulling my head off Johnny to the lullaby of my sniffles and enormous gasps for air. He reiterated once again how 'lucky' I was to be sucking cock; how 'lucky' I was to be there with both of them, 'fucking and sucking and being ritualistically, sadistically abused'. He called me his 'private whore'. My heart was pounding so hard in sheer ignorance of what to expect next.

  'Next' was that Sir grabbed a handful of my hair and dragged me to his waiting cock. He cautioned me not to neglect him, that he would be displeased if I did.

  As soon as I serviced his cock to full blown he once again directed my head back to Johnny, then several more sucks and Sir jerked me back to his cock. Back and forth, back and forth, over and over and over again, gagging as I was deposited on the thick, wet cocks to the back of my throat, and gasping for air in between. Johnny loved watching this bizarre episode. It worked him into frenzy. Everything was going sadistically smoothly when out of nowhere Sir suddenly announced that he couldn’t breathe.

  He and Johnny both had remarked at the steamy heat which even the full blast A/C could not abate, and how the sweat was beading up on their faces, but it was not the heat that propelled a gasping Sir into the night.

  Without a word Sir jerked open the side door and leapt out, not even bothering to zip up his fly. Johnny paid little attention, but I could see Sir was in terrible distress. Once out of the car he stumbled forward weakly, bent double, and grabbed his knees. With horrific efforts he violently struggled to suck in the cooler night air. Like a fish gulping oxygen, he tossed back his head and sucked in as hard as he could, to little avail. It sounded like he had a tennis ball stuck in his throat. No air was going in; all that came out were wheezes. Heaving painfully, hacking and coughing, his breath finally started coming in short, wracking spasms. His whole body shook. I thought surely any moment he was going to pass completely out or maybe burst an artery.

  Finally as he tried to raise he staggered but caught himself against Johnny’s truck. I wasn’t used to seeing my Sir, the indestructible Commando in such a helpless state!

  I couldn’t believe Johnny wasn’t responding to this attack. I was horrified. I needed to get to my Sir. But I also knew from the past that not only would Sir not allow me to help him, he wouldn’t want me to stop servicing the one to whom I had been given. I just had to get Johnny to shoot as quickly as possible.

  I flung myself to the carpet and seductively enticed Johnny down to join me. I spread my legs in the glowing light and fingered my wet clit before him.

  “Johnny,” I teased, “pleeeease fuck me; I really, really need you to fuck me with your big, hard cock right now.”

  It was working. Johnny lumbered down on top of me with a great groan and obligingly shoved his hard dick into my dripping wet pussy. Immediately I wrapped my legs around him and started to pump wildly. But as I did, I spoke to him. In the height of ecstasy I spoke to him, but I made sure to just whisper in Johnny’s ear so Sir couldn’t possibly hear through the still-opened van door when he recovered enough to catch his breath.

  “Johnny, you’ve got to promise me something…” I began softly.

  “Ohhh,” Johnny was moaning without restraint at the fucking
he was receiving. “Wh..? What did you say?” He moaned deliriously.

  “You’ve got to promise me that you’ll tell me if anything ever happens to [Sir].”

  Johnny was enjoying himself too much to comprehend what I was saying. The words took a second to sink in and he was having trouble concentrating.

  “…anything happens…?” He finally answered with great effort.

  “Yes, Johnny!” I spoke more emphatically. I only had a moment or two before Sir would recover and hear what I was asking, or at the least accuse me of making forbidden 'small talk'. He knew me all too well. Now was the perfect chance, my only chance.

  “What do you mean? You expecting him to die or something?” Johnny kidded light-heartedly, meeting my hips with harder thrusts.

  Then it dawned on me. He didn’t know.

  “No…!” I panted, becoming spent from the fucking. “…You don’t know? Uh, I mean, just in case; you know…” I stammered. “…he doesn’t sound well. Just in case something… happens to him. He sounds sick.” I bit Johnny’s ear lobe teasingly as he leaned into me, fucking hard.

  “[Sir]?” Johnny was starting to think with his other brain at last. “He’s not sick that I know of…he’s just got problems with his lungs from smoking he says. Mmmmm!” Johnny murmured. He was struggling with his lungs right about now himself, but not from smoking. His cum was building hard.