by Dani René
The drive there is silent, which I’m grateful for. It’s enough that I’m meant to smile and act like the happy bride to be, but it’s another thing to have to talk to him.
As we pull up to the hotel where the gala is being held, I make my choice. Con is right. This is the one and only time I’ll be able to choose. If I go through with the wedding, I’ll be stuck in a marriage that may kill me.
“I hope you’re ready to be the sweetheart everybody expects you to be.” His hot breath and the stench of alcohol has my stomach rolling with disgust. Possessively, his arm snakes around my waist and he tugs me against his body as we head into the party. This is his domain, where he seems to shine. I’m just the candy on his arm.
Con,
I’m so excited! I’ve been accepted to college. I wanted to tell you the good news before anyone else so I’ve hidden the acceptance letter for now. It arrived this morning and you’re the first person I thought of. My plans to leave home and start my life far from the pressure of my family are finally coming true.
There’s so much I want to do with my life. I wish you were here, we could go and celebrate or something. Perhaps a lavish dinner, five courses, or something crazy. Maybe we would have a quiet dinner in, sitting on the sofa and talking. It would be wonderful to hear your voice, to hear you say my name, my real name. I’m not melancholy, but it’s something I think about.
I have more news, however, I’m not sure you’re going to like it. Someone at school asked me out. On a date. I’m not interested in him, but it’s a group outing, so I said yes. It’s a gig at one of the clubs downtown. None of the boys at school get me. Am I too mature for my age? I’m not ready for the pressure that comes with dating and sex. You know? Have you ever been in love?
It’s something I read and write about, but I wonder if that kind of love is real. The deep soul searing connection.
I suppose that’s why fiction is so much better than reality—only there can you have your perfect world.
Anyway, I’m too hyped to think about that now. What have you been doing? Are you okay? I know it’s only been a few days, but I needed to tell you about college.
Tell me, Con, when you get out, what are your plans? Do you want to go back home? I suppose you’d want to spend time with your family while all I want to do is run away from mine. It’s not that they don’t treat me well, I’ve just been under pressure all my life to be someone I’m not. To show them I’m capable of doing something I love and still being responsible has been an ongoing fight. They want a life for me that doesn’t fulfill me. So why would I go through with it. Once I graduate, I want to conquer the world.
We could do it together. What do you say?
Yours,
Twig x
I remember that letter and I so much wanted to respond and say yes, I’d love to conquer the world with her, but I didn’t. I wished her well with her graduation and told her she could do or be anything her little heart desires. As much as I was hiding my own feelings from her by not telling her that, after all these years, she’s the only thing that seems to be right in my world, I just wanted to let her enjoy her moment without me dampening it.
I couldn’t tell her about the one love I had, the one I lost. So many things I want to tell her, but I’m scared that she’ll never want to speak to me again. That she’ll never accept me, the real me. So I skirt around subjects and tell her only enough to keep her satisfied.
As the gates slam shut behind me, I bask in the heat of the sun. I’m out. Grabbing my bag, which doesn’t have much in it, I head toward the bus stop. I don’t have a plan, but the last thing I want to do is go home. After all these years, the only thing I want to do is have a hot shower, a home cooked meal, and a comfortable bed.
I lean against the bus shelter and wait. Thankfully, it doesn’t take too long. My ride to a new life pulls up and the doors hiss open. “Where you headed?” The aging driver stares at me like I’m about to kill him or some shit.
“I’ll get off at your last stop. Doesn’t matter where it is.”
He nods and pulls up a small map. “Last one is Livingstone.” Montana, that’s perfect. A small town where nobody knows me.
“Sounds good.” I drop the notes into his hand for my ticket and head to the rear managing to secure three seats since it’s not busy. Shoving my bag up top, I make myself comfortable. I’m not sure how long this is going to take, but I might as well get ready for the ride.
It’s been a long day at work and the anxiety has hit me again. I open the door and darkness descends on me. When I step inside my tiny apartment, I turn on the light and all I see is red. A pool of blood around her small fragile body. The love of my life. My feet make their way to the scene before me and I drop to my knees in the life essence that’s seeped from her body. She’s covered in it. Her eyes are wide with fright and my body goes into shock. Gripping her shoulders, I call out to her. “Callie, baby!”
Her body is rigid and cold. The light that shone so bright in her eyes is no longer there as I shake her, hoping this is all a bad dream. My heart constricts painfully; an ache I’ll never survive. Shaking my head, my vision blurs, I blink the salty emotion from my eyes and it streams down my cheeks. My lungs tighten with each breath. The acrid smell of metal. The lifeless body of the woman I love. Everything is too much.
This can’t be real. Pain twists in my chest, squeezing me until breathing is too difficult and all I want to do is join her in death. The dark red stains my hands and I know I’ll never be able to get it off. It’s my fault. I did this.
“Baby. Please?” I plead, but I know she can’t hear me. She’ll never hear how much I loved her. How I was taking her up the hill to propose. To tell her I want to spend my life with her. Every moment, every second, and every last breath. But her life is gone and I’m dead inside.
I pull my phone from my pocket and call my brother. He’ll know what to do. “What?” His tone is gruff and I realize I must have woken him.
“She’s dead. Fuck, there’s so much blood,” I choke out and I hear his sharp intake of breath.
The response I get is not what I expect, his harsh tone comes across as angry. “I’ll be there in a few. What happened?”
“I just got home and there’s blood everywhere.” I hear shuffling of material.
I take a deep breath and his words echo through my pain. “Don’t move.” I hang up and tears continue to spill, my face wet with sorrow.
She’s gone. My love. The pain slowly lacerates my heart, sending me spiraling into darkness. Into revenge-fueled hate. I need to find the fucker who did this and make him pay. Make him hurt as much as I do right now. I know who did it. I refused to get into his business of stealing cars. I wanted to make an honest living so I could prove to Callie that I was a man worthy of her.
I’m not sure how long I sit here, but when the door opens I turn to find my brother staring at me. His eyes flit over the scene and zero in on the floor, but there’s no emotion on his face. “They did this, they fucking hurt her.” He nods, the door is wide open and I hear the sirens.
“I called the ambulance.” He moves forward, but doesn’t touch anything. With a gesture of his chin, he says, “It must be him.” I glance in the direction he’s looking and notice beside me is a butcher’s knife.
The moment of silence is disrupted by officers and paramedics until I find myself in cuffs.
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law.”
“Wait. I didn’t do this! Bro, tell them!” My words fall on deaf ears. How the fuck can they think I did this? Why isn’t he doing anything? They pull me out of the apartment, caked in the blood of my fiancée and I take one last glance at the woman I wanted to spend my life with as they cart me away like a criminal. In that moment, I vow to never love anyone again.
My body jerks up and I find a pair of soulful brown eyes staring at me. “I’m sorry, the bus is full and…” she tapers off, and I
realize I’m taking up a whole row of seats. I must have been asleep for hours because I glance around and notice she’s right.
The nightmare still hangs heavy in my mind as I shift aside and she settles next to me.
The whiff of her perfume is somehow familiar and I find it calming. Summer blossoms. My heart rate settles to a steady beat and I stare at her. “My name is Leah.” She holds out her hand and I slip mine into hers. The softness of her skin is incredible and I wonder if the rest of her feels that way.
I’ve not lost myself in a woman since Callie, but after so many years locked up I find my body aching to. I don’t have to give them my heart. Just my cock.
“I’m Heath.” I grunt in response and her smile falters slightly. I’m an asshole. She’s too pure and innocent for what I’d like to do to her. I notice she has no luggage, only one small suitcase, which couldn’t hold much.
She slips into the bench seat beside me and her scent once again fills my nostrils. “Do you know where the bus is headed? I just got on the first one I found.” She glances at me with a smile and I nod.
“The last stop is Livingstone.” My words come out as a rumble and I turn to face the window.
“Is that where you’re headed?” Dragging my eyes back to her, I notice how she lifts her chin and squares her shoulders, coming across more confident and sexy as fuck. Golden curls frame her face and those hazel eyes shine. She makes me think of what Twig would look like. She always had such feistiness that used to come across in her letters. I wonder where she is.
“Yeah, needed a fresh start.” I savor the way her perfume invades my senses and I want to be drenched in it. The soft fragrance of flowers and something just…her.
“If you’re up for my constant rambling, I’ll join you on your journey.” Her words snap me out of my thoughts and I glance at her. It’s something my Twig would say. She loved to ramble about everything and nothing at all. I loved that about her.
This girl could be my new start. A friendship that will allow me to stop using Twig as a crutch because she is. The last letter she sent me, which arrived yesterday, is in my bag. I haven’t opened it yet and I find myself wondering what she decided. She’s probably marrying that fucker.
“I’m not great company.” I say honestly, because I’m not.
She shrugs her shoulders and stares at me. “I’ll be here if you change your mind.” Stubborn girl, I like it. She’s beautiful—a natural beauty with no makeup, dressed in a pair of denim cutoffs and a loose fitting white top—and she reminds me of innocence. Of something pure.
When she settles back into the bench seat beside me, I make believe that I’m with her. For that moment all I want to feel is normal. My heart aches for what I lost, for what I could never have, and just for this ride, I want to immerse myself in her sunshine.
Twig,
All these years and you still put up with me. I often wonder how I haven’t already scared you off. I suppose you like the danger? Do you read about men like me in your books? One day you should write our story. How do you think it would play out? Do I get my girl? Or does she move on to better things. Because you know what I think? That you’re mine. You’ve woven your way into my mind Twig, so deep inside that you’re on my thoughts constantly. Does that scare you? Are you afraid that one day, if fate plays a part in our story, we’ll meet?
You’re special, little lady. There’s a light inside you that you shouldn’t let anyone extinguish. Yes, I’m coming across sappy, but I just think you need to focus on your schooling. Now that I’m older, I realize that I’m glad I managed to finish school and graduate before my life went to shit. Before this place happened to me.
The world is out there waiting for you to catch it and when you do, hold on because the ride will be amazing. I’ve got another five years, when I walk out of this place, I’ll be thirty-nine—an old man—and you’ll be a young woman with the world at your feet. You’ve given me something I never found in here, something I don’t think I even had before my arrest. Friendship. It’s the most precious gift of all and I want to thank you. This is the most profound I’ll ever be so don’t get used to it. As much as I want to thank you in person, this will do for now.
Remember, you’ll always be special to me. You’re my sunshine, so don’t ever dim your light.
Yours,
Con x
“Little lady, wake up.” My eyes crack open and meet the smoldering gaze of the rugged man I met only hours ago. He has a beard, tattoos, and he should scare me with those intense dark eyes, but I’m not afraid. If anything, I’m intrigued. Those pools that remind me of gingerbread hold secrets, and my curiosity is piqued.
“Where are we?” I question, straightening myself and feeling the ache in my neck from falling asleep at an odd angle.
“Home.” He chuckles and I glance outside. The small town is bathed in early morning light and I can’t help the rush of excitement that races through me. A new start.
“Well, get yourself up, mister, we need to go and explore.” I stand, smoothing my hair, but it’s fruitless. My curls have long since had a mind of their own. He reaches up to grab a heavy black bag from the overhead and I reach for mine.
“Not very much in that little satchel, Sunshine.” He remarks—reminding me of someone I’ll never meet—taking in the small, square suitcase that I packed my life in to, which includes a laptop, my notebooks and some clothes. I have enough money to get by for at least three months, but I’ll need to find a job.
“Wasn’t much of my old life I wanted to bring along,” I explain quietly. As we make our way off the bus, I feel his fingertips brush against my lower back. The feather light touch sends a shot of electricity through me.
When I finally step off the bus and take in my new home, as Heath called it, I smile with gratification that I got away. I made my choice and I stuck to it. I wish I could tell Con because I know he’d be proud of me.
Thoughts of him are never far. He’s a constant, something I can depend on. “Sunshine,” a deep rumble behind me has me spinning to meet Heath’s gaze. “This way,” he teases and I realize I had just carried on walking without looking where I was going.
“Sorry, I tend to get lost in my head sometimes,” I explain with a grin. His lips curl into a crooked smile and I notice how his eyes sparkle with mischief when he smiles. His hair is short, a buzz cut and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was in the army. The sides are greying, but mixed with the rich brown, it makes him even more attractive.
“A friend of mine always says that. She’s always lost inside her little world.” As he talks about this person, I notice a faraway look in his eyes as if he misses her. I wonder if it’s a girlfriend, or maybe even a wife. As my thoughts wander there, I glance at his hand and notice there isn’t a ring on any of his fingers.
Girlfriend.
“Does she live close by?” I question.
He shakes his head and comes to a stop outside a small café. Dropping his bag, he pulls a chair out for me and I slip into it. “I don’t know where she lives, to be honest. Can I get you a coffee or tea?” He leans in and I take in his smell—it reminds me of cinnamon. Like those donuts they make with a sugar syrup glaze on the top.
“Tea please. If they have something fruity, I’ll have a flavored one.” He nods and disappears into the store, but not before I notice the way his faded blue jeans hug impossibly muscled thighs. He’s much older than me, but incredibly good-looking. His beard isn’t very long, but makes me want to run my fingers through it.
I wonder what it’s like to kiss a man with a beard. I can’t hide my giggle. Sitting back, I look around and notice the town slowly waking up to a new day. The first thing I need to do is pick up the paper, and hopefully find some work.
“Here you go.” Heath places a mug of steaming liquid in front of me. It smells of fresh oranges and something sweet, like honey.
“This smells lovely, thank you. How much do I owe you?” I ask, pulling out my purse.
“Nothing,” he growls, and I feel it down to my core. He sits back with a large mug of thick black coffee and I notice his hands are rugged, his arms strong, muscled and adorned with beautiful tattoos that showcase intricate patterns. There’s something about him that screams danger, but I’m not afraid.
“Thank you, I appreciate it.” He nods, but doesn’t say anything more and we sit quietly, enjoying the sounds of a town coming alive. School kids skip by us and there are people out walking their dogs. It’s almost as if time stands still here. A beautiful town that could be the perfect setting for a book.
“So what do you do?” he questions with a long glance at me. The way his eyes trail over my body sends a thrill through me. It’s been a while since I felt butterflies and tingles. That’s a lie. I get them every time Con sends me a letter.
“I’m unemployed at the moment. When I left my old life behind, I walked away from working with my parents at a charity foundation. I was just thinking I’ll have to find something to do, I don’t mind hard work, just something to bring in an income.” My rambling always gets the better of me, but something in the way Heath stares at me tells me he doesn’t mind, which in turn makes me smile.
“Interesting, hard work is good for you. I learned that while…” His words taper into silence and his brows furrow in worry and there’s something sexy about his serious expression. “I was away. I had to work hard at getting where I am now,” he finishes quickly and pushes up from the chair. Our time has come to an end, and I feel like I want to ask him to stay. Or ask him not to leave me, but that’s selfish. I’m so used to not being left alone, and now that I have to be, I’m scared. “Take care, little lady. I might see you around.” He pushes the cap he’s wearing lower so it covers his dark eyes and he hoists the bag onto his shoulder.
“Good luck!” I call out as I watch him walk away.
Con,