“Lucy! Lucy, wait!” Stumbling over my own shoes, I flailed ungracefully before somehow finding my balance again. Twisting to watch Jon come jogging after me, my chest heaved painfully. Each beat of my heart sent a pulse of pain down to my fingers and toes. I only ran a few yards from the bar, but I felt like my lungs were going to explode.
Coming up in front of me, Jon didn’t seem the least bit winded through my blurred gaze.
“Hey, don’t cry. This isn’t a bad thing, yeah? Didn’t you say you don’t like working there? So maybe some time away will help clear your head.”
Wiping my tears away, my body trembled violently. I gulped down the dry cotton feeling in my mouth, but even then I could only manage a nod.
“Yeah—okay. So, why don’t we go back to my place and hang out? No pressure… I mean, you did just get fired.” Jon’s horrible attempt at a joke made me choke, and I blinked hard to watch him crack a smile. Taking both my hands in his, he let out a chuckle of his own. “That’s not good. I’m pretty sure I can get charged with murder if you die from one of my jokes.”
Chapter Eight: Jon
“So, uhm… what happened?… I mean, when your mate left you? Why? You’re a really good guy.” Sitting on one of the many sunbathing chairs that littered the front porch, I tilted my head to take in Lucy’s form. Her question came right when I expected it; she was coming down from her mini breakdown. Even though we hadn’t spent much time together, she seemed almost too predictable. Lifting my beer to my lips, I took a long swig before offering an answer.
“I still don’t know why; it’s not like our compatibility level was zero, but it was low. Being a really good guy only gets me so far. The mate bond has a lot of influence. The male she ran off with is a total loser asshole, but their compatibility must’ve been much higher than ours. And Claira breaking up with me didn’t affect my beast, but it was hard for me. Have you had any potentials, Lucy?” To say I was jealously curious wasn’t right, by the thought of it still warmed my blood. Watching Lucy rub her knees together, my bear let out a satisfied huff when she immediately shook her head.
“No. Ryan and I moved up here when I was 15. I hadn’t even shifted for the first time. But we had problems a long time before Ryan was able to move out on his own. Our parents were basically absentees; they didn’t believe in human schooling—all that kind of stuff. He basically taught himself, and I got ‘smuggled’ into a private school by one of his friend’s parents.” Things fell into place in my mind, and a grimace set on my face. Lucy’s parents must’ve been liberal shifters, or “far right” as I grew up knowing about them. It wasn’t all that uncommon to practice, but most shifters understood the dangers.
Letting out a disgusted noise, I crossed my legs as the sun warmed my clothes.
“That’s really crappy. So this is the only place you’ve ever known, huh?” It was kind of sad, really, but it also explained so much. Lucy was sheltered, and maybe that was part of the reason Ryan forced her to work in the bar. It gave her something to do and helped her social skills.
“Yeah, pretty much. And then after a few years we got a letter about my parents. Ryan didn’t tell me about it for a long time, though. I’m not sure he was ever going to tell me, really.”
“You know he was just doing it to protect you, right? My family has barely talked to me about everything that happened with Claira, and it sucks knowing they don’t really care. She wasn’t the best, but she wasn’t the worst either, you know?” It felt so good, almost a simmering euphoria, to know that Lucy and I connected on a deep level. We’d both suffered through traumas even if mine was self-inflicted.
The plastic straps of Lucy’s chair creaked slightly when she shuffled onto her side, and I eyeballed her from the corner of my eye as I took a drink of my beer.
“I know. I just… we never talked about it. Ryan’s not the type of guy to get all mushy. After a while, I got scared that my bear was doing too much and now…” Trailing off, Lucy frowned as a deep sigh flew from my lungs.
“It must’ve been hard to deal with that by yourself. But shifting isn’t a bad thing if you regulate it, Lucy. The way I did it after my first shift was I had a calendar and specific times and days when I would go out. After a while it became routine, kind of like a dog that’s trained to go outside at certain times. You could try that.” It was the first and only thing that I could think of while I was stuck in my own mind this morning. If Lucy was going to act like a newly shifted bear, she needed to be treated like a newly shifted bear. My idea wasn’t unique, nor was the practice, but she probably wouldn’t know about restraint. She went from one extreme environment to another and had no one to guide her.
“I don’t know if I can shift anymore… not without losing myself in the process.” Lucy’s quiet confession sent a jolt to my chest, and I rolled over to face her fully. Setting my beer down on the floor, my fingers had a mind of their own as they reached for her cheek. Her hair was tied up in a bun, letting me explore and smooth away the sad lines and puffiness around her eyes.
“It’s never too late to change, Lucy. You can’t do it by yourself, and that’s okay. Just don’t think you’re incapable because you need help.” For just a moment my mind went back to the look Ryan gave me before I ran after Lucy. Obviously, he sensed we were compatible, but I expected more resistance.
Maybe he realizes how far gone she is, and that he can’t bring her back… but does that mean he wants us to be together? It was perturbing not knowing what that man was thinking. His nod and slight smirk could’ve meant anything.
“I don’t know…” Pursing my lips, I could only nod at Lucy’s words. The only problem was I did know; now that I was around, her beast would be more active. She would drain her human side until forcing the shift.
I just had to be around when it happened to make sure the beast submitted and let Lucy shift back.
“You know, we can still go fishing if you want.” The offer surprised me, and my eyes narrowed on Lucy’s face as my thumb traced her chin absently. For a split second I was torn, but after a moment my mouth seemed to have a mind of its own.
“You just want to get me alone so you can ravish me, Lucy.” It was in that exact moment that I realized two things. One, that was definitely not why I had asked Lucy out initially, and it shouldn’t change. Two, she blushed far too much to have ever talked about sex before.
God, why are you doing this to me? Watching Lucy turn beet red was its own kind of torture, and a smile slid onto my face. I pulled my hand back, my intuition screaming at me not to push it.
“I— I… that’s not… I didn’t mean—” Floundering for words, Lucy covered her flaming face as a loud laugh burst from my throat. It was a real laugh, filled with mirth and amusement; it was a sound I hadn’t made in a while that sounded almost alien to me. Pushing myself up to a seated position, I ran my hand through my hair as she curled up tightly.
“I know that’s not what you meant. We can go. I think it’ll be good for you, Lucy.”
Holding out my hand for her, my bear bristled in pride when Lucy took it so willingly. We hadn’t spent a lot of time together, but already she was warming up. Shoving myself to my feet, I helped her up as a smile stretched my face and warmth diffused my chest.
“I can carry you there if you want. It’ll be faster.” Glancing at Lucy out of the corner of my eye, my gaze eagerly absorbed the red that still painted her face. My smile morphed into a grin, and she ducked her head in a nod. Squeezing her hand, I led her down from the porch and around the side of the house.
Stripping out of my shirt, my fingers were stiff as apprehension tightened my abdomen. My skin twitched where Lucy’s eyes trailed, but I didn’t shy away. She didn’t seem to notice how intently she was ogling me, and I cleared my throat before those pretty, brown orbs flew to mine.
“Ready?”
Chapter Nine: Lucy
“Oh-h-h my God! Jon!” My squeal echoed loudly through the trees, and I buried my fists in Jon�
�s long, shaggy, brown fur. Underneath me he let out a chortling grunt of a laugh, leaning back on his haunches to jerk forward. Tightening my thighs against his sides, a giggle escaped my lips as I pulled on his fur.
“Stop it or I’ll end up pulling out your fur, you big oaf.” With deep sways Jon ambled along, his steps heavy and loud enough to be heard for a hundred yards. He moved confidently, but there was a slow caution to him and a tenseness in the strong muscles buried under thick layers of fur and skin.
Heaving a sigh, I turned my gaze to the forest around us for the first time in a while. The dappled sunlight streamed down onto the leaf litter, and the leaves swayed with the slight breeze. There was a time when I was familiar with this place, but now it all looked new and unknown. I wasn’t even sure what direction we were going anymore.
The trees had grown thin, but the sound of rushing river water still couldn’t reach my ears.
“Are we close?” Jon couldn’t answer me verbally, but I felt his shoulders roll as he tossed his head in a nod. His antics had stopped, and it gave me a moment to think.
I still couldn’t believe Ryan had actually fired me; my brain just couldn’t make. Everything Todd had said to me only days ago rushed into my mind, and a small frown graced my lips. If my brother wanted to keep me busy, why fire me?
But Todd also said I might get time if I was working on myself… Did hanging around Jon encompass that notion, though? I didn’t know, and it bothered me like a headache that attacked my temple.
“Did Ryan put you up to this? Is that why you came in today to invite me out? Because you knew he’d make me leave?” My questions came out sour, leaving a bitter taste on my tongue. Against my thighs Jon’s body went rigid, his swaying gait halting mid stride. Biting the inside of my cheek, I stared hard at his back as a lump formed in my throat.
Jon couldn’t answer me, but I still wasn’t expecting him to shift into his human form. Letting out a squeak, I wrapped my arms around his neck and locked my ankles against his abdomen to keep from sliding off him. Thick, long fingers wrapped around my calves, and his heartbeat was steady and strong against my chest.
“I didn’t know, and no, he didn’t conspire with me beforehand. I asked you to come out here because I want to spend time with you, Lucy. There’s nothing devious or underhanded about that.” Holding my breath, my lungs were crushed by the guilt that invaded my body. It settled like thick, black tar against my ribs, only growing at the sad lilt in Jon’s tone.
“I’m sorry.” Grumbling against Jon’s shoulder, a frown tugged at my lips as his heat invaded my pores.
“Don’t be sorry. You’re just young and sheltered. It’s a valid assumption.” My heart grew heavier as Jon started to walk in his human form, but he was quick to change the subject. “We’ll be there soon. I can hear the water.”
Rubbing my jean clad legs, Jon let the silence stretch on to ring loudly in my ears. Hiding my face against his shoulder blade, I took a deep, shaky breath filled with his scent. It was a musky smell, dark and manly, and I held it in my lungs for a few long seconds. What the hell is wrong with me?
This whole day was messed up from start to current, and it was entirely my fault.
“There it is.” Cracking open my eyelids at his voice, my eyes widened at the sight that met me. The river cut through a field of tall, green grass that swayed with the whip of the wind. There were regular bears spread out, some on the banks while others waded through the water with their noses in the spray. They all looked big and healthy, their fur long and shining under the sun of midday.
“It’s… amazing…” Through a loose jaw my awe escaped, and Jon chuckled lightly. The shade at the forest’s edge shielded us, but the shade didn’t last long. Striding into the field, he exuded a power and confidence that caused goosebumps to rise on my skin.
“Yeah, it is. You ready to catch some fish, Lucy?” Sliding off Jon’s back, heat rushed in my veins when he finally twisted to face me. His eyes sparkled, a familiar, gentle smile stretching his lips. Clapping my hands together, I couldn’t help but smile back.
His attitude was infectious.
“Yeah.” A little breathless, my agreement made Jon’s smile wider before he shifted. Watching him go through the transformation took my breath away. It was so elegant, so seamless, and my jaw went slack at the sight. I didn’t know what I looked like when I shifted, but I hoped to be even half as beautiful as him.
It took only a minute, maybe less, to reach the bank of the river, and my eyes widened into saucers. I couldn’t even see the pebbles and sand that lined the bottom of the waterway. Salmon were stacked on top of each other as they swam, turning the normally blue-white water a mix of red and sequin silver. Bending down to watch them work so hard to swim against the current, I carefully reached down.
The water was cold, and goosebumps rushed up my arm to spread across my chest. It wasn’t freezing by any means, but if I jumped in and stayed there for more than five minutes or so it would be a problem. My fingertips grazed over the backs of salmon that ignored everything but their instinct. Their bloated bodies were heavy and ready, even in the water.
Ready to be eaten, that was. Do fish even have sex?
A soft nudge brought me from my reverie, and I twisted to set eyes on Jon’s hulking form. He wasn’t nearly as big as Ryan, but he was still impressive. Even without the weight of many layers of winter fat, he had to be nearly 500 pounds. Bumping his head against my arm, he grunted before waddling into the water.
Dropping onto my butt, I watched with a smile as Jon stuck his muzzle in the water. He didn’t do anything, the thick whiskers that sprouted from either side of his nose just testing conditions.
In the back of my mind, my inner bear stirred, a wave of envy rolling off her. The sensation made me purse my lips together, my brows furrowing. Around me other bears were focused on filling their bellies, but even then Jon was the biggest in this area. They wouldn’t try to pick a fight with him, and that knowledge had my chest swelling.
Even if it was only for a little while, this impressive male was with me.
Peace washed over me as I sat on the bank, leaning over to swish my fingers through the clear water that lapped the sand. Resting my cheek on my knee, my mind wandered to question how I went so long without this.
A low, grunting oof pulled me from my thoughts, and I blinked before my eyes found Jon. He waited, making sure he had my attention until shuffling his hulking body. Putting all of his weight on his haunches, he lifted himself up about halfway. Long, black claws that tipped his paws dripped with water, the substance streaming through the thick fur of his belly.
In the blink of an eye Jon struck, throwing his body down and releasing a growl that rumbled beneath me. Jerking up, he threw water everywhere and a giggle escape my throat when large droplets landed on me. He had a massive salmon carefully clutched between pearly white teeth, and I licked my lips.
I liked fish well enough, but the sight of Jon was what made my abdomen twist. Water made his fur stand up and ruffle in the wind, and he looked wild and dangerous with a flopping, desperate salmon in his mouth.
Carefully plopping the struggling animal next to me, Jon stretched his neck to nuzzle my cheek. A small groan floated up from my depths, and I reached to bury my fists in his sopping jowls. Taking in a deep breath, I let it out in a burst before he pulled back. He ran his wet nose down my cheek, and another laugh bubbled up from my belly.
“Yeah, okay, okay. I’ll watch you.” Shoving Jon back with what little strength I had, I knew he didn’t have to move. He was a bear, but he didn’t even need that to be vastly stronger than me. Still, he made a show of stumbling backwards into the water. The sight only made me laugh harder as he shook himself out with a chortle.
Chapter Ten: Jon
Thumping heavily down the stairs, I hid my yawn behind my hand before shoving my fingers through my hair. Irritation welled up to overflow the thin space between my brain and my skull, and I grumbled as I mad
e my way through the vast living room. With each knock on the front door, no matter how soft, a jackhammer pounded away behind my eye sockets.
“God, my head…” It was hard enough to fall asleep as it was. Being woken up at 2 a.m., after only an hour and a half, wasn’t sitting well with me at all. Flinging open the front door, my mouth opened with every intention to cuss someone out.
Nothing escaped my throat, and my eyes and nostrils widened as Lucy overwhelmed my senses. She was so covered in sweat she gleamed even though there wasn’t a single light on, and her harsh panting filled my ears. Leaning heavily on the door frame, she trembled with a violence that made her look like a shimmering wraith even to my keen vision.
“It-t’s happ— happening… Jon…” Lucy’s weak declaration jump started my frozen mind, and my body sprang into action. Stepping beyond the threshold, I wrapped my arms around her frail body to hold her stiffly. My brain worked furiously, eyes scanning the darkness outside as the bare skin on my chest was scorched by her heat. Groping her shoulder blades and down her sides, I let out a growl at the sheer unexpectedness of this.
Taking her fishing might not have been the best idea. There are always less dangerous activities to do than shoving an animal’s instincts in her face. My bear huffed absently at that thought, his excitement creating a volatile concoction when mixed with my nerves. Finally, he was going to meet his mate, and I was glad for him; but Lucy wasn’t ready. Her animal side was still too weak, so much so we could barely sense her.
But that didn’t seem to matter as Lucy let out a whimper, and I winced as her sharper than normal nails dug into my biceps.
“Damnit… Okay, alright… let’s… let’s get you comfortable, okay, Lucy?” It was all happening too fast, but there was nothing I could do now. Lucy’s beast was hellbent on coming out, and Lucy herself didn’t have the strength to beat her back this time.
Hunting for Love Page 4