by Marie Force
“No, I don’t. I’m sorry.” He rested his hand on her leg, waiting for her to kick him away, but she didn’t.
Tears spilled down her cheeks, and he hated himself for making her cry.
“Come here, sweetheart.” He held out his arms to her and was thankful when she allowed him to hold her. “I’m so, so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
“I would never do that you, Kevin. I swear to God.”
“I know. I believe you.” He’d come over here wanting to fix things between them, and instead, he’d made everything worse. Running his hand over her hair, he held her for a long time, while wondering if the damage they’d done to their relationship during the last twenty-four hours could ever be fixed.
Chelsea couldn’t sleep. She should’ve kicked Kevin out of her bed and her home after he’d had the audacity to ask her such a thing while they were making love! As if she’d ever have to trap a man or trick him into fathering her child! So insulting…
And yet, she couldn’t exactly blame him for asking.
God, what a mess she’d made of things. Blurting out she wanted a baby to her boyfriend or lover or whatever he was hadn’t been the brightest thing she’d ever done.
Of course, he freaked out. His sons were grown. The baby stage of his life was long behind him. What in the world would he want with another child at this point in his life? He wouldn’t want that.
Her heart sank at the thought of losing him and the relationship that had come to be so important to her. She never would’ve expected that first night to turn into something so significant, but it had, and now she was deeply in love—for the first time in her life, if she were being honest—with a man who had already been there, done that with kids and had entered a new phase of freedom that he wouldn’t want to give up, even for her.
She couldn’t tell if he was asleep next to her. Usually she slept curled up to him, his arms around her, and she loved that and missed the warm comfort of his embrace.
“Are you asleep?” he whispered.
“No.”
He turned to face her, putting his arm around her. “I’m so sorry I asked you that, Chels. I know you’d never try to trick me or trap me or anything like that.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“I know that, and I shouldn’t have asked.”
“I don’t blame you for asking after I dropped the baby thing on you out of nowhere.”
“Still… It was shitty of me to ask you that, especially when I was inside you.”
She placed her hand on top of his.
He turned his hand up and linked their fingers.
“It was shitty of me to drop something so huge on you out of the blue.”
“You should be able to say anything you want to me. I want to know what you’re thinking and what you want. How can I help you get it if I don’t know?” After a long pause, he said, “I have to be honest with you… I was surprised to hear you want a baby because you’ve never said anything about that before.”
“I know.”
He waited, giving her space to collect her thoughts. “I told you about how my dad left us when I was in high school and ended up marrying my friend’s mother, right?”
“Yes, you did.”
“That really messed me up.”
“Of course it did.”
“I’ve been very determined, for my entire adult life, to stay single and unencumbered. I never wanted to be in a position to do to someone what my father did to my mother and our family.” It was the most she had ever said to anyone about how her father’s betrayal had affected her. “But then I met you, and my attempts to stay emotionally unattached failed miserably.”
He laughed as he put his arms around her and drew her in close to him. “We said we’d reassess when my divorce is final, which it should be any day now.”
“All this time, I’ve been sort of half waiting to hear that you’re getting back together with her.”
“I am not getting back together with her. Not now and not ever.”
“Because of me?”
“In part, but also because of me. I didn’t realize how truly unhappy I was with her until she left me and forced me to confront the truth. We were over long before we split, and I’m happier now than I’ve been in years—and that is definitely in large part because of you.”
“Before I mentioned wanting a baby, what did you see happening for us after your divorce was final?”
“I was hoping you’d let me move in with you or, if you wanted, we could get a new place together.”
“And what if…”
“What, sweetheart?” He ran his fingertip over her face and down to outline her mouth.
“What if you woke up a year from now and realized you never got a chance to be truly single before you took up with me? What if you had regrets about getting serious with someone else so soon after your marriage ended?”
“I’m not going to bullshit you and tell you that can’t happen, because I’ve seen it happen in my practice.”
Hearing that didn’t do much to calm her fears.
“But what I can tell you for certain is you make me happy. Being with you makes me happy, the kind of happy I’ve never been before. Can I promise that what we have is going to last the rest of our lives? No, I can’t. No one can make that kind of promise. All I can do is tell you I love you and assure you that when I tell you that, I mean it.”
Chelsea gazed into his eyes, the waning light from the candle allowing her to see his face. “I know you do. I love you, too. I’ve never been in love like this before.”
With his free hand, he cupped her cheek. “That’s a damn good place to start.”
She nodded. “Will you do something for me?”
“Anything.”
“Will you tell me the truth if you really don’t want to have a baby with me?”
“I’ll tell you the truth as soon as I figure out what the truth is. I really do need some time to think about it.”
“I understand. It’s a big deal.”
“Yes, it is. It’s a lifetime commitment that we should both be sure we want before we dive into it. I’m not saying no, Chels. I’m saying we need to really talk about it and think it through and be completely certain we’d be bringing a child into this world for the right reasons. And I have to put this out there, but I don’t want you to take it the wrong way…”
“Okay…”
“Realizing you’re running out of time is not the right reason to have a child.”
“I know. I’ve been thinking about that, too.”
“When was the last time you spent time with a baby?”
“It’s been a while. When my niece and nephew were small.”
“What would you say if we offered to babysit for Laura and Owen some night soon? With three kids under the age of three, that’d give us both a good refresher course.”
“I’d be up for that.”
“I’ll see how they feel about a night out on Sunday.” That was one of her two nights off from the bar.
“Okay.”
Kevin kissed her while continuing to caress her face. “We don’t have to figure this out overnight, and we don’t need to let it come between us.”
“I don’t want that any more than you do.”
“Then let’s take our time and make the best decision we can for both of us.”
“Sometimes sleeping with a shrink has its advantages.”
He smiled, and the turmoil that’d been swirling inside her settled.
“One thing I can promise you, sweetheart, is that I’ll never, ever do to you what your father did to your mother or what Deb did to me. That’s not something you need to worry about with me, okay?”
Chelsea nodded. “You don’t have to worry about it, either.”
“That’s good to know.”
“Were you really jealous when you saw me talking to Niall?”
“I was on fire with jealousy. I don’t want other men touching you, even men you’re frie
nds with.”
“That’s fair enough, but he was just being nice to me.”
“I didn’t like it.”
“You’re very sexy when you’re possessive.”
“You’re very sexy all the time.”
“You got yourself in trouble before you could finish what you started,” she said, rising to kiss his chest.
“So I did.” He ran his fingers through her hair as she used her tongue to outline the lines and grooves of his abdominal muscles.
The time he spent in the gym was put to good use. If she didn’t know how old he was, she would’ve guessed a decade younger. He had the stamina of a much younger man, and she’d had better sex with him than with men twenty years his junior. There was something to be said for maturity and experience.
After a year together, she knew just how to touch him and drive him crazy. Wrapping her hand around his hard cock, she stroked him as she continued to kiss his abdomen. His muscles tensed as he waited to see what she would do next. She didn’t disappoint him, sucking the head of his cock into her mouth and adding her tongue to the mix.
He gasped and tightened his hold on her hair.
She took him as deep as she could while continuing to stroke him with her hand. The combination usually took him right to the edge of release. Knowing that, she backed off, slowed down and earned a deep groan from him that made her smile.
Chelsea released him and moved to straddle his hips, taking him into her slowly while his fingertips dug into her hips. Then she began to move, riding him until they were both gasping as they climaxed together.
After, she dropped down to his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her. “Feel better?” she asked.
“Much better. You?”
She nodded. They hadn’t decided anything, but wrapped up in his arms, she could finally relax enough to get some sleep.
The next day dawned rainy, gray and cool, the perfect match for Riley McCarthy’s lousy mood. He’d been determined to throw himself into work so he wouldn’t have time to think about what his father had told him last night, but that plan was failing miserably. All he could think about was his father having a baby with Chelsea. Riley couldn’t get his head around the possibility of another sibling at this point in his life, nor could he imagine his dad with a newborn. Hell, he could be a grandfather before long, and he was thinking about starting another family?
It was ridiculous, but then again, much of what’d happened in the last year had been ridiculous, starting with his mother taking up with her personal trainer. What a cliché! The news of her affair had devastated his dad—and him and Finn. Being a grown adult didn’t make you immune to despair when your parents suddenly and dramatically split.
If anything, he’d taken it harder than anyone knew, even the brother he was closer to than anyone. What did it say about him that his parents’ divorce—and subsequent relationships with other people—had fucked him up? He should be past the point where anything they did could screw him up the way their divorce had.
With hindsight, he could see that the handwriting had been on the wall for them for quite a while by the time it finally happened, but it was how it’d happened that had stayed with him for all the months that’d followed. His mom had cheated on his father. That sentence still rankled more than a year later. How could she do that to him? His dad was the best man Riley had ever met, always willing to help someone in need, always there for the big and small moments in his sons’ lives, a faithful husband and a hard worker.
What more could any woman ask of the man she married than what his mother had gotten from his father? He’d been so fucking angry with her after it first happened and had carried that anger with him for a year now. He hadn’t seen her since he’d heard about what she’d done and had no desire to see her now, either.
But Finn wanted to see her, so he’d probably have to as well. But he didn’t want to. The entire situation made him sad, and he was sick of being sad about something he had no control over.
“Hey, Riley,” Mac shouted. “Go easy, will you? I can’t build a house with splinters.”
Riley snapped out of his musings to realize he’d been stacking lumber right off the ferry with no regard for how it was landing. “Sorry.”
“Everything all right?” Shane asked when he came over to help.
“Yeah.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.” He liked Shane and appreciated his concern, but the last freaking thing he wanted was to talk about his parents’ divorce and the many ways it continued to impact him. No one wanted to hear about that anyway. People had their own problems, and Riley was sick of thinking about it. He needed to go out tonight, get drunk and get laid.
That would make everything better.
“What the hell crawled up your ass and died today?” Finn asked when he joined him to finish unloading the pickup truck at the site of their next build. His brother hadn’t shaved in weeks, and his eyes were rimmed with red from being out late on a work night.
“Nothing.”
“Don’t say it’s nothing when anyone can see it’s something.”
Riley grasped another bundle of two-by-fours and hauled it from the truck, adding it to the pile next to the foundation that’d been poured last week. This time, he was careful to place the bundle rather than dropping it.
When he returned to the truck for another trip, Finn stopped him with a hand to his chest. “Tell me.”
“You’re going to be pissed.”
“Tell me anyway.”
“Dad and Chelsea are talking about having a baby.”
Finn’s hand fell from his chest, and his face took on an odd expression. “For real?”
“Would I have said anything if it wasn’t for real?”
“This is just… It’s…” Finn shook his head. “Whatever. We should’ve seen this coming. She’s still young, and it’s only natural she’d want kids.”
“But with our old man?”
“Why not with him? They’ve been together a year, and he seems really happy.”
“So you wouldn’t care if he had another kid with her?”
“Why would I? He’s not asking me to raise it.”
Riley stared at his brother as if he had two heads. Could he really be so nonchalant about something so important?
“Riley!”
He turned toward Mac, who was on the phone and pacing. He waved Riley over.
“What’s up?” he asked Mac, who held up a finger.
“Yes, I’m going to send my cousin Riley over to help you.” Rolling his eyes, he said, “Yes, Riley knows what he’s doing, Mrs. Hopper, or I wouldn’t send him.
Mrs. Hopper was Jordan Stokes’s grandmother. Suddenly, this day was looking up.
“He’ll be there in ten minutes,” Mac said, his voice dripping with exasperation. “Yes, ma’am. I know how important Eastward Look is to you and how much you love your granddaughters. We’re on it.”
It took another minute for him to extricate himself from the conversation and end the call. “For the love of God, that woman can talk!”
“What’s up at the house?”
“The roof has sprung a leak, and the granddaughters don’t know what to do. Can you go over there and see if you can shore it up until we can get there to make a more permanent fix?”
“Yeah, I’ll take care of it.”
“Thanks. Give me a call to let me know what we’ve got.”
“Will do.”
Riley jogged over to the company truck that was now empty. “Guess where I get to go?” he asked his brother.
“Where?”
“Jordan Stokes’s grandmother’s house.”
“How come you get to do that?”
“Because I’m the one Mac asked.” Riley flashed his brother a smug grin. “Try not to be too jealous.”
“Finn!” Mac, who was on another call, pointed to the wood that needed to be sorted and distributed for the framing that was set to begin tomorrow.
“Not fair,” Finn muttered as he stalked off to tend to the wood.
Riley laughed as he got into the truck and headed for the island’s eastern shore.
Chapter 6
The ride gave Riley the opportunity to clear his head a little and to think about what Finn had said. It pained him to admit that his younger brother made a good point. It wouldn’t be up to them to raise their father’s new child, so really, why did it matter so much?
Probably because he was used to being part of a family of four that no longer existed, and now the makeup of his family might change yet again. Riley wasn’t a big fan of change, as a rule. He liked things orderly, predictable, sensible, and hated drama of any kind. Finn was more of a roll-by-the-seat-of-his-pants kind of guy, who liked to shake things up and live on the edge.
That would never be Riley. Often, he wished he could be more like Finn, so he wouldn’t get so stressed out about things he had no control over. His brother was always telling him to chill out and not worry so much, but Riley was a worrier. That was just how he was wired, and right now, he was worried about his dad.
On the way to the Hopper place, he drove past his uncle Mac and aunt Linda’s home, the place the locals called the White House, as well as the entrance to their marina and hotel. As a kid, he’d spent a lot of time in all three of those places and had fond memories of those summer visits to Gansett.
Riley wondered what his uncle Mac thought of the possibility of Kevin having a baby with Chelsea. No doubt Big Mac had an opinion. He always did.
Another mile passed, the scenery spectacular as always. Stone walls, meadows full of colorful wildflowers, hidden ponds and pathways that led to the bluffs. The slower-paced island lifestyle had been good for him. He’d had the time to try to come to terms with his parents’ divorce, to ponder whether he wanted to return to the hard-charging job he’d left in Connecticut and to give some thought to his long-term life plan.
He didn’t have any answers to the last one, not yet anyway, but he was fairly certain he wanted to stay on the island and continue working for Mac. They were busy year-round, and they’d be doubly busy if Big Mac’s plan to acquire the Wayfarer happened. Riley loved the idea of being part of bringing a place he had loved as a kid back to life.