‘I think this colour would look wonderful on you,’ she declared, already undoing the row of buttons that ran all the way from the waist to the high neckline of Maria’s dress.
Deeply embarrassed, Maria stood still as Isabelle stripped the dress from her. ‘And of course you shall have to have some extra petticoats.’
Isabelle was enjoying herself now and Maria did not have the heart to stop her. Once she was dressed, Isabelle then took the pins from the neat bun at the back of Maria’s head and shook her hair loose before attacking it with a hairbrush.
‘Your hair is very thick,’ she complained as she tried to secure it in a more becoming style on the top of the young woman’s head. It seemed to take forever but at last she stood back and sighed with satisfaction.
‘Goodness me.’ She beamed with satisfaction. ‘I swear you look more of a lady than I do,’ she declared as she led Maria to a mirror. When Maria looked shyly into it she gasped in amazement and colour instantly flooded her cheeks.
The dress was cut low and Maria, who had always worn dresses that covered her from neck to ankle, felt almost indecent at the small cleavage that peeped back at her. Her hair was in much the same style as the one that Isabelle favoured, high on top with fair silky ringlets arranged around the crown of her head, tied up with a cluster of green silk ribbons that matched the colour of the dress.
‘Now, we must do something about your boots.’
Maria wriggled her toes in her soft leather boots, wondering what on earth was wrong with them but Isabelle was already rooting through the cabin trunks again.
‘Ah, here we are. I’m afraid I have no green ones, but these should do nicely.’ Waving a pair of satin silver shoes in the air she advanced on Maria who obligingly held her foot out. It was soon apparent that Isabelle’s feet were slightly larger than hers, but Isabelle insisted that the slippers were just perfect. ‘After all, no one is going to be staring at your feet with you looking like this, are they?’ she giggled.
But Maria was still apprehensive. ‘What if the Captain sees me?’ she fretted.
Isabelle waved her hand nonchalantly. ‘What if he does? He would never realise that you are my maid. And anyway, it is highly unlikely that he will be about at this time of the day. He will be too busy avoiding icebergs. Now come along or the band will have finished playing before we even get there.’
And so for the first time in her life, Maria followed Isabelle from the cabin feeling like a real lady.
Chapter Fifteen
The band consisted of a motley crew of people, mainly from the steerage section, playing popular airs on a variety of instruments ranging from flutes to violins. Even so, the sound they created was pleasing, and when Maria and Isabelle entered the salon their feet were tapping along to the music in no time at all. Joshua was clearly impressed with Maria’s appearance although he was too much of a gentleman to embarrass her by saying so. When she shrugged the heavy cloak that Isabelle had loaned her from her shoulders, Joshua was aware of more than a few admiring glances directed her way. Maria was a charming girl, and very good company, and he found himself looking forward to the short times they spent together.
Young men, glad of any diversion to interrupt the tedium of the voyage, began to step forward to ask the two young women to dance in the space that had been cleared in the middle of the room. Isabelle went willingly but Maria quietly refused each one, preferring to sit with Joshua. She felt more than a little out of place and was not keen to suddenly be the centre of attention although she found it was nice to be able to talk to Joshua.
‘I think you’ll like Uncle Freddie,’ he told her as they watched Isabelle whirl past in the arms of a young gentleman. ‘The countryside surrounding his ranch is quite beautiful and the sun always seems to be shining there.’
Maria listened, enthralled by the pictures he was conjuring up.
‘Uncle Freddie was always the rebel of the family,’ Joshua confided. ‘He hated working in the factories and mills back home, even though they would be partly his one day. He was always more of the outdoor type, if you know what I mean.’ He chuckled. ‘I can remember Grandfather being absolutely appalled when Uncle Freddie declared his intention of emigrating, but he won him round eventually and Grandfather even gave him part of his inheritance early to give him a start there. Between you and me, I think Grandfather expected him to fall flat on his face and be home in no time at all with his tail between his legs, but Uncle Freddie shocked him and made a go of it.’ He sighed before saying thoughtfully, ‘Life is a funny thing, isn’t it? I mean, there was Uncle Freddie with what most people would give their right arms for. He was brought up in the lap of luxury and didn’t even have to work if he didn’t wish to, but it wasn’t what he wanted.’
Maria found it incredible that anyone would want to leave that kind of existence behind, but then she supposed everyone wanted different things from life.
‘Were you close to your father?’ Josh asked then, seeing the sad expression on her face. ‘He’s a preacher, isn’t he?’
‘Yes, he is,’ Maria answered quietly. ‘And no, I have never had a close relationship with him. Perhaps it’s because I was a girl. Most men want their firstborn to be a son, don’t they? But I was very close to my mother.’ Her eyes welled with tears now as a wave of homesickness seized her. ‘To be honest I could never understand why she stayed with him,’ she surprised herself by saying. She had never admitted that to anyone before. ‘He is a very harsh man and treats her as little more than a skivvy.’ She was like a flower opening up in the sunshine as she spoke of her family and he found it hard to drag his eyes away from her face. She then went on to tell him of her relationship with Lennie.
‘I suppose the attraction was that he was so different to my father,’ she confessed. ‘But looking back now I realise what a fool I was.’ Her hand unconsciously stroked the small mound of her stomach and she sighed. ‘He used me – and even then I was prepared to forgive him. But now our child will be born out of wedlock and it’s all my fault.’
Josh chewed on his lips for a time as he sought for words to comfort her. ‘I’m sure you will find a solution to your problems in Tasmania,’ he said. ‘But should you not wish to stay, Mama will be more than happy to pay your fare back home once Isabelle’s child is born.’
Her face softened and she smiled, but she had no chance to respond, for just then Isabelle flitted back to the table looking like the cat that had got the cream. She was used to being admired and today’s little diversion had gone a long way towards restoring her confidence.
‘Oh goodness, I swear I am quite exhausted,’ she giggled, fanning her face with her hand for all the world as if she were at some grand ball.
‘Perhaps you should rest for a while. You do have to think of the child,’ Josh suggested tactfully.
Isabelle’s expression darkened. ‘Oh yes, always the child!’ she hissed. ‘But what about me? It is all its fault that I am here in the first place! I wish I could just get rid of the horrid thing!’
Josh stared at her coldly, his expression as cutting as the wind that was hammering at the salon doors.
‘Perhaps you should have thought of that, dear sister, before you began your little liaison with Pierre. And perhaps you should also consider yourself fortunate that Mama has seen fit to offer you a way out of your dilemma, against Father’s wishes. Many parents would have disowned you and thrown you out on the streets for dishonouring the family name. Furthermore, Maria here is in exactly the same position as you, and I don’t see her feeling sorry for herself. All her concerns are for her unborn child.’
‘Huh! But she is merely a servant,’ Isabelle spat unkindly. ‘And everyone knows that her sort breed like rabbits.’
Maria was deeply hurt, but seeing that this was fast developing into a row, she said hastily, ‘Why don’t you sit down, miss? I could fetch you a drink.’
‘I don’t want a drink!’ The young woman’s dainty hands clenched into fists as colour r
ose in her cheeks.
‘How dare you be so rude,’ Josh said roundly. ‘We are all entitled to respect, no matter where we come from. And may I add that from what I have seen, Maria here is more of a lady, miss, than you will ever be! At this precise moment in time I am ashamed to call you my sister and sorry that I ever agreed to accompany you on this journey in the first place.’
‘Oh yes, you defend her.’ Isabelle was unused to being spoken to in this way by her brother and was bubbling with rage. ‘And of course it is obvious why! Don’t think I haven’t seen the way you look at her.’
‘Enough!’ Josh roared as he leaped to his feet, causing people to turn and stare at them. ‘You are making a spectacle of yourself, madam. Now kindly get your cape and I will accompany you back to your cabin.’
‘I don’t want to go back to the cabin,’ Isabelle said like a petulant child. ‘I want to stay here and enjoy myself – not be locked away like some boring old spinster.’
‘Then stay.’ He turned then and offering his arm to Maria, who was cringing with embarrassment, he told her, ‘Come along.’
She picked up her cloak without argument and with her head bent, quickly followed him out onto the deck where the bitter wind snatched at their clothes and took their breath away.
‘I wish to apologise for my sister’s atrocious behaviour,’ Joshua told her as he took her elbow and steered her towards the cabin quarters.
‘I’m sure she was just distraught.’ Maria excused Isabelle although her words had made her smart with shame and humiliation. Suddenly she was wishing with all her heart that she had never agreed to embark on this voyage. But there was no going back now and she knew that she would just have to make the best of it.
They were halfway across the deck when Maria became aware of someone watching them – but when she glanced around whoever it was hastily stepped back into the shadows. She supposed it was just some sailor who had enjoyed more than his fair share of rum and she pushed it from her mind.
They made the rest of the short journey in silence, and at the door to their cabin, Josh bowed before taking his leave with a grim expression on his face. It would be a long time before he could forgive his sister for the despicable outburst he had just been forced to witness.
Kitty was there scrubbing down everything in sight, and one look at Maria’s pale face told her that something was wrong. When Maria took her cloak off and flung it onto the bed, Kitty’s mouth gaped open as she saw her in all her finery.
‘Why, Maria,’ she gasped. ‘Yer look right lovely. Are they Miss Isabelle’s clothes yer wearin’?’
‘Yes, they are, and I’d be most grateful if you would help me to get out of them,’ Maria answered as she swiped a tear from her cheek.
Ten minutes later she was back in her own clothes; she had removed the ribbons from her hair and tied it back into the neat bun she normally wore. Thankfully, Kitty had not pressed her for any explanations, and Maria was grateful for that at least. She still had the rest of the journey to get through and knew that she must try and hold herself together. She put Isabelle’s clothes away, and then when Kitty departed she sat on the bed and waited for her mistress’s return with some trepidation.
The afternoon had darkened by the time Isabelle put in an appearance. She had obviously been drinking some of the rum that Maria had noticed was being passed around the salon, and her eyes were feverishly bright.
‘Help me get undresshed,’ she slurred as she staggered towards the bed.
Maria laid her book aside. It looked like there was a difficult evening ahead and it was still quite early. In fact, they hadn’t even eaten yet, but looking at the state Isabelle was in, there was no way she was going to make it to the dining room. Flopping onto the side of the bed Isabelle sat there like a limp rag doll as Maria struggled to undress her.
Eventually she managed to get her mistress into her nightgown, and as she then turned to pull back the bedclothes, Isabelle suddenly leaned forward and was violently sick all over the cabin floor.
The smell was nauseating, but instead of apologising, Isabelle merely flopped onto the bed, croaking, ‘And clean that mesh up, it shtinks!’
Disgusted, Maria gritted her teeth and headed to the deck where the mops and buckets were stored. On returning to the cabin, she was relieved to find that Isabelle was out cold, which was just as well because the way she was feeling right at that minute, she would have been in grave danger of giving her a tongue-lashing. Eventually the mess was cleaned up, but there was nothing she could do about the lingering smell – although she wafted the door to and fro in a desperate effort to clear it. Maria decided to go and get her meal in the dining salon and bring something back for her mistress on a tray.
After shrugging herself into her warm cape she headed for the deck where a solitary sailor was sprinkling salt to try and make the planks less slippery for anyone who cared to venture onto them. She ate a solitary unappetising meal of salted pork and vegetables that had been cooked almost to a pulp, then after loading a tray for Isabelle, she stepped back out onto the deck and began to pick her way gingerly back towards the steps that led down to the cabins. It was very dark now and the lower deck was deserted with no sound but the pounding of the waves against the side of the ship and the wind whipping the sails. A thick mist had descended, and as she moved on, a number of barrels containing the precious drinking water loomed out of the darkness. She was almost past them when another dark shape stepped out in front of her and she almost dropped the tray with shock as it blocked her path.
‘Would you kindly move out of my way? You startled me,’ she said crossly. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, her heart skipped a beat and she tried to tell herself that she was seeing things. But then the man spoke and she knew that he was all too real.
‘Lennie!’ she gasped – and yet Lennie was dead – wasn’t he? In a nightmare vision, he was leering at her, and as he bent closer, his foul breath, reeking of rum, made her want to retch.
‘B-but I thought you were dead,’ she said in a voice that trembled.
‘Thash what yer were supposed to think,’ he slurred. ‘An’ all the others what I owed money to. But here I am, large as life. Seems we were meant to be together, after all.’
Holding her head high, she focused her eyes on his nose, which she saw was broken now. Revulsion ran through her. How could she ever have thought she was in love with this man? ‘I suggest you move right now,’ she said, her voice belying the fear that was growing in the pit of her stomach.
‘Elsh what, me beauty?’ His eyes were mocking her. ‘I’ve been watchin’ you fer a while an’ a right pretty little thing you are an’ all. I never really realised it before. Why not be nice to your Lennie, eh? You’ve no call to act so ’igh an’ mighty. Not wi’ my flyblow growin’ in yer belly.’
Rage and humiliation flooded through her, replacing the fear, but there was little she could do but try to side-step him without dropping the tray, although her hand itched to smack his face.
‘How dare you talk to me like that!’ Her eyes flashed fire. ‘I strongly suggest you let me go on my way this very minute otherwise I shall make sure that the Captain hears of your despicable behaviour.’ She was still reeling from shock but he merely chuckled, a low raspy sound that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand to attention.
‘An’ do yer really reckon that he’d take the word of a little trollop like you against one of his own men? Now come here. Yer know yer want it just like yer did that night in the churchyard.’
The tray clattered to the deck then as he lunged at her. Maria opened her mouth to scream but she was too late; he already had one hand clamped across it whilst the other grabbed her around the waist and began to drag her into the shadows cast by the enormous barrels. She began to kick and fight, but Lennie was a powerful man and her strength was no match for his.
He flung her to the deck and the breath was instantly knocked out of her. She felt the cold air on her legs as he began to
haul her skirt and petticoats up and heard the sound of buttons popping as he tore at the bodice of her dress. His work-roughened hands pinched and clawed cruelly at her tender skin and pain seared through her.
‘No – please!’ Her voice came out as a whisper as she continued to struggle, and now she felt his calloused hand on the soft skin of her inner thigh and terror shot through her. She managed to free one of her hands and seconds later had the satisfaction of feeling him wince as her fingernails raked down the hardened skin of his cheek. But it did nothing to deter him; in fact, it seemed to have quite the opposite effect.
‘Eeh, I like a gal wi’ a birro fight in her,’ he chuckled as his hand slipped inside her pantaloons and found her most private place. Then his mouth fastened on her pert nipple and pain exploded as he bit on it.
Tears were coursing down her cheeks now, and opening her mouth again she emitted another scream but this time it echoed across the decks as his heavy weight fell on her. And then suddenly she felt him being lifted off her and she heard a scuffle taking place as someone whacked him firmly on the chin and he dropped to the deck like a dead weight.
‘Maria? Oh my dear, are you all right?’ Suddenly she was held in Josh’s arm and sobbing as he tried to pull her skirt down with the other.
‘He . . . he tried to . . .’
‘I know.’ His voice was soothing. ‘But it’s all over now and believe me, after I’ve told the Captain what he tried to do, it will be a long time before he attempts that again. There are plenty of women on board who are willing to pleasure the sailors, without him needing to pick on one who is not. Now, let’s get you back to the cabin. Do you think you can stand? Look, let me help you up then you can lean on me.’
A Mother's Shame Page 16