by Auryn Hadley
"I'm trying to make you stop that, Nick."
He cupped my cheek, making me look at him. "Listen, dove. I have no idea how you missed all the religious basics growing up, but there's something you need to know. Once Michael figures out what you are, he'll do everything possible to make you afraid of me. For all I know, he already is." He paused and clenched his jaw. "And I'm worried it might work. All he needs to do is get you to run off once. One time, and he'll be able to take you so far out of reach that I won't be able to bring you back."
"Then I won't run off without one of my big strong protectors," I promised.
Using both hands, he rubbed at his eyes. Clearly, I'd missed the mark. "Sia, do you know why I use the name Nick?" I shook my head, and he went on. "Old Nick is what they called me, back in the Middle Ages."
"Ok?"
He shifted uncomfortably. "And the angels all know my real name. Most of them don't call me Nick."
I shrugged. "So? What's the problem?"
His answer was a little too controlled. "You didn't like hearing Luke's name."
"I didn't expect to hear it," I corrected. "It's not every day you're told you're talking to the Devil."
"Luke's not the Devil."
I lifted my hands and let them drop again. "I know that now, but c'mon. You guys did drop a lot of stuff on me the other day."
"Sia." Nick took a deep breath and wrapped his fingers around mine. "Michael will do anything to turn you against us, so I'd rather you hear this from me. The first name I knew? Satanael. The second is a little more common. Satan." His dark eyes met mine. "Luke isn't the Devil. I am."
"And I'm an atheist."
His head twitched slightly, taken aback by my answer. "What?" he asked, shocked.
"Well, I've seen an angel, I've met some demons, and you all insist that I'm pretty much the same thing as some ancient Greek godling. Right?"
"Yeah?"
I smiled and shrugged. "So, evidently history is a little murky and myths aren't based completely on fact. Who knew?'
"But –"
A wave of my hand cut him off. "But you just spent the morning with a very famous archangel, broke the bad news that you're some kind of royalty, and screwed my brains out last night. I get it. Things aren't what I had planned. Most of my life hasn't been. I'm still not going to drastically change everything for a guy I started dating last night." I bit my lip, then added, "And teach me how to refill your aether?"
His eyes closed and he cursed under his breath. "Sam told you?"
"Yeah. I figure if I can pull aether from Lucifer, then I can probably refill the Devil, right?"
"I think I prefer it when you call me Death."
Reaching up, I turned his face toward mine. "I happen to think that Satanael is a perfectly good name, but I'm a little partial to Nick."
"I'm getting to be," he admitted. "But my name really doesn't bother you?"
I lifted one shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. "I was kinda expecting it, in all honesty. I think the only thing I'm not thrilled about is how you keep expecting the worst from me. You assume I'm going to believe something someone else says instead of what I've experienced myself. I get it, but that doesn't mean I like it. You're still a good guy, Nick. I've already figured that out."
"I'm trying," he promised. "And I'm doing everything I can to keep you safe."
I scooted closer and rested my head on his big, strong shoulder. "You know, you can protect me the most by showing me how to take care of myself."
"I know. I'm working on that. I really am." Slowly, he let his eyes close as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry all of this happened."
"Well, I'm not."
"But you could die!" His eyes flicked open, complete surprise on his face.
I patted his arm in understanding. "That's not an if thing, Nick, it's a when." I shrugged. "And when I do, I want to have made at least a little difference."
Chapter 20
That evening, Nick had to go out again. I stayed up late waiting for him to come back. Luke told me it wasn't anything dangerous, but that only helped so much. Sam had already proven that their idea of dangerous and mine wasn't quite the same. Unfortunately, I passed out before he returned. Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke to find him curled up against me. It was a feeling I couldn't describe, but one that had me smiling as I went back to sleep.
Monday morning, he and Luke walked me to school. And then nothing happened. Gabe glared at me a couple of times in Creative Writing but, for the first time, I realized he spent as much time giving Luke eye-daggers. Maybe Sam had been right and they really had no clue what I was?
After that was Calculus. Nick was a little more tense than normal, but I figured he was just on high alert. Granted, remembering that we had a quiz just before I sat down sucked, but I managed well enough. At least I got some sort of answer for every problem, and I recognized most of the funny symbols. I was willing to call that a win.
Then, Monday night, I had to go back to work. That's when I realized the extent of the angel problem in town. On the upside, it seemed that a plethora of good-looking creepy guys drew an equal measure of desperate college girls into the bar. Mondays were usually slow as hell, but not this time. The tips were flowing and my shift was over before I knew it. Flirting with Nick the whole time made it that much better.
But when he gave me a ride home, I made him take me back to my place. For once, I honestly needed to get a good night's rest. I'd been stressed out for too many days in a row, and it was finally catching up with me. When my alarm went off the next morning, it hadn't been nearly enough. Rolling over to see the tiny little blue flower on my night table, though? That made up for everything.
Or so I thought until I stepped out my front door. When I turned to the sidewalk, I saw a shock of magenta and recognized Sam. The last time we'd talked had been when he'd helped me with my drawing of Nick. I still didn't quite know what had happened between us, but I was pretty convinced one of us had crossed a line. What bothered me the most was that it might've been me.
"Morning," he said, lifting a paper cup. "Peace offering?"
I closed my eyes and groaned in appreciation. Coffee was exactly what I needed, and from the label on the cup, it came from my favorite place. "What is it?"
Sam grinned. "Caramel mocha with a little extra espresso, and probably better than whatever you have in that mug."
"Sold." Sealing the lid, I shoved my travel mug into my backpack and gestured for him to join me, more than willing to be bought with caffeine. "I'm a cheap friend."
He chuckled. "Wrong kind of cheap, sweetheart."
"Wrong kind of friend," I tossed back, hoping he got the hint.
He shrugged and passed over the coffee, falling in beside me. "This big sexy guy gave me a lecture last night about invading your personal space. Said something about freaking you out by being too touchy-feely." Sam pointed at the cup. "I figured I'd try the whole bribery thing to make up for it. You cool with that, or is Nick gonna drop me from a cliff?"
"From a cliff?" My eyes widened as I waited for an explanation, then realized I hadn't answered. "No, bribery is ok, especially caffeine. What do you mean 'drop you from a cliff?'"
He shoved his crazy hair out of his eyes. "Yeah, um, I guess like smacking your fingers with a ruler, but Daemin style."
"What's it like? Daemin?" Not only did I really not want to talk about my slip up, but I also got the impression that our worlds were completely different, even if parallel in many ways. Unfortunately, I wasn't sure Nick would talk about it.
"My home?" Sam asked. When I nodded, he went on. "A bit like primordial Earth, I suppose. Lots of volcanic stuff and rocks. Plants aren't anything like what you're used to. I think the closest would be like vines. We don't really have trees." He sucked at his own coffee, but I was hanging on every word. "It's pretty sparse too."
"What do you mean?"
He pointed to a tree. "Two squirrels and at least five birds, right? Not
where I'm from. Seeing a bird a day is impressive. Granted, they aren't really birds, but still. I mean, we have a few plants, but not enough to make anything resembling a lawn. More like cactus in a desert. That's why I like it here. Daemin is nothing but valleys and cliffs. We live in modified caves because the rock helps keep temperatures constant."
"What about seasons?"
He shrugged. "Two. We have hot and cold."
"So Hell does freeze over?"
Sam grinned and nodded. "Yep, at least once a year. There's actually a city with that name, and it's in the northern hemisphere. So winter is pretty much the same as here."
"I'd love to see it."
Sam paused, missing a step before he caught back up. "Why would you want to see Daemin? It's basically a wasteland, Sia."
I shrugged. "Dunno, because it's different? I mean, look at Hawaii. It's all volcanic leftovers, but people spend a lot of money to go there for vacation."
"It also has oceans," Sam pointed out. "And a lot fewer demons."
"Feathers or leather?" I asked, shifting the topic a bit. I was pretty sure I knew the answer.
"Luke has the feathers. Shit falls out everywhere. Leather all the way, baby."
I nodded. "So are your bones hollow? Nick said physics is different, but that's a little over my head."
"Not hollow," he assured me. "See, the easy way to think about it is that outworlders are made of more aether than matter, so we have a density that isn't made of mass. Prevents us from breaking yet allows flight. The farther inward – toward Earth – we go, the stronger we seem by comparison."
I grabbed Sam's shoulder, making him face me as I stopped. "What's it like to fly?"
His brow wrinkled as he thought about it. "The closest is like swimming, but easier to breathe. It's also really hard to explain having another set of limbs. I mean, imagine trying to describe what your arm feels like to someone born without them or what it's like to paint?"
"Ok, I can see that." I refused to let him go. "But really, is flying cool?"
He plucked at his lip, watching me, then grinned. "Yeah. Maybe Nick can make you a skin for Daemin and teach you?"
"Is it hard?"
Sam shrugged. "Is walking hard?"
"It was when I was a baby."
He chuckled and together we started moving again in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable but this pressure still hung between us. I had the feeling there was something important Sam wanted to say. Most likely about getting caught flirting when Nick had left us together. Considering that I hadn't really talked to him since, it could've just been my guilty conscience, but when he spoke up, he proved I wasn't the only one who hadn't forgotten that little moment.
"Hey, um, about Sunday?"
I felt my shoulders drop. There was no way this could go well, so I tried to deflect. "Yeah? I appreciated your help with that drawing. Nick is convinced I'll think he's a monster, but I can't stop wondering about it."
"I didn't tell Nick about the picture but, um, we did talk." He hefted his bag higher on his shoulder. "Look, you're a one guy type of girl. I get it, and I wasn't trying to make some smooth move or anything. Nick chewed me out for making you feel pressured, but I just -" He pulled in a long breath. "I guess I just forget that you're not one of us sometimes. I mean, you're different. It's like we've stumbled upon the only female demon in existence, and I sometimes forget that the way we act might seem weird."
That was not what I'd expected. "The way y'all act?"
"Yeah." He laughed at his feet. "After a few million years together, we don't really have a lot of hard lines, you know? I didn't mean to treat you like some kind of object. I honestly didn't even think of it that way. I was just getting closer to look at your drawing until you sniffed me."
"I smelled something nice so was going to ask what brand of cologne you used, then realized it wasn't strong enough," I explained. "I'm not upset. I promise. I just don't want Nick to think I'm going to cheat on him the second he's out of sight. Let alone with one of his friends!"
He reached up and clasped my shoulder. "He's not worried about that. Nick knows me. We've spent too many years together to worry about things like that."
"Yeah, but -"
He shook me gently. "Stop thinking you know the answers and just listen for a second. He knows you're a Muse. He's well aware that people will be drawn to you in one way or another. Some innocently, others not so much. When Nick walked in and you looked scared to death? He assumed it was because you felt like I'd trapped you. Not because he thought there was any other problem. He was worried you wouldn't trust me enough to run to me if something happens." Ducking his head, he caught my eye. "Not once when we talked did he have a single concern about you cheating."
"I just... I don't want to screw this up, and my track record with men isn't the best."
Sam shook his head. "You won't. I told him about you asking what smelled good and he thought it was funny. When I mentioned that you compared my skin to a stormy dawn sky, he liked it. Liked it, sweetheart. He said you were dead on and was impressed because you'd never even seen what I really look like. I told him about how I was sniffing you back, and he agreed that we like your shampoo better. He knows I get all touchy-feely with people I get along with, but if I do and it makes you feel weird, just smack me around a bit?"
"No, it's not that," I insisted. "I've never had a problem with you, Sam. I'm pretty sure you flirt with everything." I chewed on my lip and ducked my head. My next words were almost mumbled under my breath. "The problem was that I wasn't offended."
"Oh," he said, sounding a little shocked. After a minute he added, "Then we're ok?"
All I could do was nod. My face was already starting to feel a little warm and saying anything else would turn it into an inferno.
"So, like, I can still hang out with you and shit?" Since we were almost to the Art building, he shifted closer and dropped his voice. "You know, without any weirdness? I mean, if Nick's ok with it, and you're ok with it, then I don't have to pretend to be Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes, right?"
I giggled, mostly to ignore the awkwardness of this. "Sam, you wouldn't be the same if you tried to be good. And I promise if any of the bad guys show up, I'll be running right to whichever of my friends is closest." I stepped over and bumped his shoulder with mine. "That includes you."
"Good." With a gallant gesture, he pulled the door open for me, saying nothing until he was beside me again. "Because our friends have been closing ranks, so keep your eyes open today."
"Which friends?"
"All of them." He shrugged. "You know, typically blonde, always beautiful, none as friendly as Luke."
"Luke's an ass," I reminded him.
Sam nodded. "Yeah, and he's a nice one."
"So what do I do if they try to mess with me?"
"Play dumb," he said. "Seriously. You don't know shit and it's just a normal day. If they think you're ignorant, they'll assume you're just our latest pastime."
"Pastime?" I stopped, my Art History class only a few doors down. "Is that really how you think of women, Sam?"
"It's how they think of humans." He patted my shoulder. "And if one of them tries to put his hands on you, scream as loud as you can and drain them dry, sweetheart. It hurts like a bitch, and they will let go." He paused. "Yeah, but don't do that in the corridor. If someone gets you in the corridor, just hang on for dear life."
"Why?"
He took a long breath, looking guilty. "Um, if you don't know how to get out, you could be swept away. It's almost impossible to find a lost human between realms."
"Right. Drain before slipping through. Gotcha."
"That's my girl." He playfully punched my arm. "And if you tell Nick I was sweet to you, I'll get you another coffee when Drawing is over."
I punched him back lightly. "Does that count as sweet?"
"Nope, but you're lucky I have a thing for redheads."
I grinned and pulled open the door for the lecture hall. Sam winked and headed the
other way, vanishing before some big, sexy guy could drop him from a cliff. What he didn't know was that the big sexy guy in question couldn't see the door from where we sat. Not in a class this big. With a smile lingering on my lips, I made my way down the aisle until I saw Nick, then shuffled over to claim my chair. When I dropped into it, his eyes landed on my coffee.
"Sam?" he asked.
I took a long sip. "If I tell you he was nice to me, I get another after class."
His mouth split into a smile and a chuckle followed after. Evidently, Sam wasn't going to be getting dropped anytime soon.
"He doesn't bother you, does he?"
I shook my head. "He's sweet. I just figured you'd get the wrong impression about him all but crawling into my lap this weekend."
Nick shook his head. "I'm not worried about it. Of all the people in the world, I think I trust Sam the most. He does his own thing, but he's honestly a good guy."
"Yeah, he is. Plus, having someone to walk with from my house to class lately is kinda nice. You know, I'm actually enjoying having a few friends in my life for once."
"Good, because we're not going to stop anytime soon." His expression turned serious. "Notice anything different today?"
"What do you mean?"
Leaning closer, he used the width of his chest to hide his hand pointing behind and to his left. "See that guy over there? The pasty kid with the black glasses?"
"Yeah?"
"Malakim. Lesser angel. There's another in the front row and a third hanging around the back of the room. Think of them like grunts of the feathered type, and they're usually sent out to watch and report back." Nick leaned back in his chair, his body relaxed, but his voice wasn't. "I think they're starting to figure it out."
"Figure what out?" I asked, careful to keep my voice as quiet as I could.
"That you're a Muse and the veils are tied to you, not us."
"Ok. For a second here, pretend like I just found out about all of this stuff a few days ago, and break it down real small for me? Sam said I don't look any different most of the time. How would they know?"