by Auryn Hadley
"I've never actually talked about this before. I mean, not with a woman." He ran his fingers through my hair again. "Back then, we were all foolish children. Sometimes, friends messed around, but," he shook his head, "mostly it was groping and fondling."
"Hand jobs and tail jobs, huh?" I pulled myself high enough to kiss his strong cheekbone. "And it doesn't sound like it was that good."
"No." From the tone of his voice, I had it all wrong. "I won't tell you that I haven't," a smile flashed across his mouth, "you know, gotten myself off, but I mean it wasn't normally emotional between demons. It felt good, so we did it – and I mean actual sex – but I'm not like Sam."
He was trying to tell me something, and he thought it mattered, but I just wasn't quite getting it. I just wanted to make sure he knew I didn't care what he'd done or who he'd been with over a few billion years. "So you weren't easy, is that what you mean?"
"I've been easy, I've been a prude, and everything in between. It's been a long time, dove. Jesus was only two thousand years ago, and I remember millions. No, what I'm saying is that I had demon lovers before women existed. I didn't know there was an option, but now that I do? I'm not repulsed by men, but that doesn't mean I'm bisexual, either. There's only a few I'm honestly attracted to. The rest? It was nothing more than playing to most of us."
"Then why did you kiss Sam tonight?"
The tip of his tongue flicked across his lips. "When we're young and foolish, it's easy to convince ourselves that lust is love." The stars in his eyes were dim. "It feels so immediate and persistent."
I could see the pain in his memories. "Did someone break your heart?"
Nick laughed softly, looking away. "No. We met in our first century and spent a few hundred thousand years together, convinced it had to be possible to cross the veils." Gently, he shifted back, putting space between us as he bared his soul. "It started as a way to stay safe, then stay warm, then to hold back the loneliness. Somewhere in there, those hours alone got boring, and, well, we learned how to keep ourselves entertained."
"There's nothing wrong with that," I assured him.
He shrugged. "We couldn't even imagine women, Sia. Not even our animals have females. We never thought to wonder why we're built like we are. We just figured out that our parts fit together, and it felt good, so we did it more and more, until it turned into something else."
"Love?"
He licked his lips, his eyes barely flicking to my face. "Yeah. For him."
"Did you feel anything for him?" For a moment, a surge of jealousy raced through me.
He saw it and smiled, relaxing. "Yes and no. He was my friend, and someone I trusted with all things – even when I realized I preferred women. He tried to understand, but jealousy almost destroyed the friendship we had. I left him for many years, hoping space would repair the damage, but when the woman I was with died, he found me again and was there for me." He shrugged weakly. "I do love him, but as a dear friend, not enough to be what he needs. But if there's any man in the world that can turn me on, it's him."
"Nick," I said, meeting his eyes. "I don't care if you still like men, or if you changed your mind when you realized women were an option, or whatever. It doesn't change who you are, ok? Just tell me you didn't sleep with any angels?"
"Uh..." He laughed. "No angels. Never had sex with Luke or Bel."
I heard what he didn't say. "Sam?"
A sad smile touched his lips. "I broke his heart, Sia. He's the one I spent so many centuries with."
"Oh."
He nodded. "Now you know why I didn't want to laugh and joke about it. The guys know, don't get me wrong, but Sam's feeling aren't a joke to me."
"God, I'm so sorry! I never meant -"
"No," he breathed. "You didn't do anything wrong. It's just hard to talk about at home, but I want you to know."
I nodded, but he hadn't answered my question. "So why did you kiss him tonight?"
"Because you don't care." He paused to take a deep breath, then kept going. "Because I sometimes miss what we had and how he made me feel about myself, even if I can't help myself from liking women more. Because you're so open and accepting of us that..." A breathy laugh slipped out. "There are some things a demon can do that a woman will never be able to match. I guess, after you said you thought it was hot, I wondered just how open-minded you really are."
"You mean you'd like to have sex with Sam again, and hope I'm ok with that?"
"No," he almost purred. "I mean that one day, I hope you'd be willing to try both of us. I can see the way you look at him. I know how he feels about you. For the first time since I broke his heart, Samyaza has found someone he honestly cares about, and that someone is you. I may not love him the way he loved me, but I love him enough that I want to see him happy, just like I want you to be."
My heart was pounding way too fast. The problem was that my gut was also twisting into knots. "And us?"
"Oh, my sweet little dove, I will never give you up." Closing his eyes, he tilted his head back to the stars. "This sounds so wrong, but I'm trying to give you permission. It's not something you should need, but when Sam told me why you were avoiding him? Well, there's no reason for you to feel that way. Sam, Luke, or even Beelzebub, it doesn't matter. Throughout history, we have lived and fought together, and we've shared our loves. This time, it's different. Better. We are legion, and you're a part of us. Whether that's as a friend, lover, family, or whatever part you think works best for you, I don't ever want being with us to make you feel bad in any way."
"Just so long as I'm still doing you, huh?"
"Oh yeah." He pulled me closer and I felt his tail slowly twining up my leg. "Because no matter what, you are my Muse, my girlfriend, and I can't stop thinking about how perfectly you fit with all of us. How natural being with you feels. And I have every intention of proving to you that you can't live without your demons."
"My Satan." I wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling the base of his tail brush against my calf. "Nick, you'd better find someplace very soft," I pressed my body closer to his, "or you will never get me out of this water."
His arms wrapped around my back and he surged upward, water flying as his wings cracked open, carrying us to a smooth, soft ledge tucked in one of those impossibly green cliffs. His feet barely touched down before his mouth was on mine, hard and insistent while he eased my feet back to the ground. With my arm around his back, I felt it when his wings closed. Then I felt when his tail flicked across my hips, pulling me into him as his hands slid down my wet skin.
So many sensations. From the new smells to the feel of his skin, it was overwhelming, but I loved this. I loved him. My tongue danced with his and my hands tangled in his hair, but this wasn't just about feeling good. It was about a man who'd just bared his soul, and who had stolen mine. It was about trust and new experiences, and finding someone who cared enough to set me free instead of trying to force me into a cage.
I loved him. It was hard to separate that from how much I loved this new life, but I did. I really did. I loved how he treated me as an equal, how he didn't judge me for what I didn't know, and how he wanted nothing more than to make me happy – even when it wasn't always what made him happy. And I loved how he touched me. How his wings gently wrapped around my ass and his thumbs teased my nipples. I even loved how he growled like a beast when I gasped in pleasure.
"Sia," he whispered, "turn around, dove. Hold the rocks so I can touch all of you."
I spun, grabbing at the cliff wall. Soft moss cushioned my hands but I barely had time to think about that before his tail curled across my belly, the tip moving lower. Spreading my legs, I gave him access. The smooth skin taunted me, slipping through my folds as hands grabbed my hips. No, those were his wings, I realized when his real hands found my breasts. The moan that came out was loud in the darkness descending on us, but I didn't care. I couldn't stop. There was too many sensations to focus on, and his tail was pressing hard into my clit.
"Nick,"
I panted. "If you keep that up, I'll finish without you."
He flicked my nipples again, but I felt his breath on my neck. "Like that, do you?"
"God, yes."
"Uh-uh. Not God."
"Satan," I growled, "if you start worrying about what the hell I say when you're driving me insane –" His tail pressed harder, sliding back the other way. "Oh, God," I mumbled.
"Close enough," he chuckled, then his wings pulled my hips back.
And I committed the most amazing sin imaginable. The devil himself entered me, thick and hard, and I didn't care at all about religion, sins, or anything except the feel of my man loving me like no one else could. I bucked. I mewled in pleasure. I also didn't last very long at all. With every inch of my body stimulated, all I could do was gasp, scream, and take it, over and over. When my orgasm hit, it never wanted to end, flowing through me like magic.
I screamed out a primal yell as my knees went weak, and one pale, moonlight blue hand shoved over my shoulder and against the wall. The other was wrapped around my waist, holding me up as he groaned and pulsed inside me, savoring his own climax.
"Are you ok?" he eventually managed to ask.
I grabbed his arm for support but nodded. "Oh, yeah. Wow."
That got a weary chuckle. "Can you stand?"
"Oh, no. I'm nothing but rubber."
Slowly, he withdrew, then turned me to face him. "I had no idea it would be that good. Come here, dove."
Carefully, he knelt, easing me down with him. Those wings reached down to support our collapse, his hands cradled me, and somehow we ended up on the softest natural bed I could imagine. With a pleased little moan in the back of my throat, I curled into him and pillowed my head on his shoulder.
"Nick?"
"Mhm?"
"I love you. I just want you to know that."
"Mm." His tail flicked over my leg and gently wrapped around it. "I love you too, Sienna. I have for a very long time."
"Good," I whispered as my exhausted eyes slipped closed. "I'm just going to rest for a minute before we have to go home. It's so nice here, I want to enjoy it just a little longer."
His fingers tightened on my shoulder. "Yeah, me too."
Chapter 38
Something thumped down hard beside me, jolting me awake. Cracking open my eyes, I reached out and felt cloth. Familiar cloth. My dress! I'd left that on the beach.
I was immediately awake, but Nick moved faster. Surging to his feet, he stood naked over me, those wings spread for protection. I rolled to the side, grabbing my dress as I made it to my knees, searching for some hint of what was going on as I frantically pulled my clothes on. Screw the bra and panties. I just wanted to be covered.
Just as I saw the angel, Nick acted. Slapping his right hand down on his left forearm, he growled, "Samyaza, Beelzebub, Lucifer."
Marks glowed, flaring to life even while clothes began to materialize on his body.
And Michael laughed.
The bastard was flying just out of reach, hovering even with the ledge we were on, in all of his natural glory. His white gold hair had become truly metallic, his wings were the typical pearly white, but those green eyes were a sick and putrid flame, all too visible in the darkness. He also wasn't alone.
I had no idea how, but the angels had found us. "Nick, we have to go," I whispered.
He shook his head. "He brought them all, Sia. I count at least twenty on this plane. I'm willing to bet there's more in either corridor."
"Of course there are," Michael said. "You have the worst habit of getting away from us, and I really want that Muse."
"Yeah? So why didn't you just grab her when she was asleep?" Nick asked smugly.
The archangel snarled something I couldn't understand, then, "Because I can see Lucifer's shield on her, and I'm well aware of those little tricks he likes to weave into such things."
Nick lifted his chin and crossed those strong arms over his chest. "Then I guess that means you can't have her. Go find your own Muse, Michael. We're not about to give up ours."
Like an exclamation point, something whooshed into existence beside me. I flinched away, seeing nothing but gold and feathers, then there was a soft pop on my other side. Taloned hands caught me as my head whipped around. I'd never seen him like this before, but it was Sam in all his stormy dawn brilliance – and his horns were just as impressive as I'd imagined. In the darkness, I couldn't quite make out the color of his skin, but he blended perfectly in this purplish world.
Then a third pop came right behind us. I didn't need to look to know it was Bel, but I'd wanted to see him as a demon. When I did, I was glad Sam held me, because I flinched again, stepping into my friend for protection.
Beelzebub was big, completely black, and probably the scariest looking thing I could imagine. Even the short, thick horns on his head were meant to cause nightmares. As a human, I'd gotten used to his charming smiles and teddy bear personality, but as a demon? That was one scary-ass mother fucker.
Michael made a point of sighing dramatically. "Really? Do you idiots want to feed us aether so badly that you'll bring your whole legion for us to drain?" He lifted his hands like he just couldn't imagine such a thing. "If you insist."
"Nick," Luke said, "drop her shields."
"What the fuck happened?" Nick asked.
Luke moved to guard the edge. "Her peak appeared on the map a few minutes ago. Sia's shield is gone. I think she lost control of it. You need to drop yours."
And without a word, he did, the nearly invisible Satanael symbols dissipating from around me. I'd woken up so fast I felt like I was barely keeping up, but I still understood what that meant. I had full access to all aether, and we were about to throw down with the enemy. I just hoped those idiots had no idea what I could do.
"Plans?" I asked Sam, keeping my voice low.
"You," he said, "are going to hide behind Bel. Do not cross the veil. We came straight through from Earth, but I'll bet they have a few choirs waiting to grab you."
"And you," Michael said, pointing at Sam, "and you, and you, and you!" He moved his finger to each of the guys. "And there's not a damned thing you can do to stop us. We're going to do horrible things to your little Muse."
Sam leaned closer. "He's trying to taunt us into the air. It would make things easier for them since this is a defensible position. Whatever you do, sweetie, don't let his words make you do something stupid."
I shrugged that off. "He's an idiot. Just like most guys. I'm kinda used to it."
Mike heard me, and from the furrow of his brow, he was not impressed. "Like most guys? Like humans? You stupid little –"
"Now!" Nick yelled.
Sam shoved, pushing me toward Bel. The scary black demon was already in motion. Grabbing me by the waist, he spun, damned near slinging me against the wall before planting his bulk between me and the flock of angels hovering over the sea. From here, I couldn't see much, but I didn't need to. I could hear it.
Someone screamed. Something hummed like electricity. Bel opened his wings, but I could still make out an eerie purple glow from whatever he held. And they were all moving. Fighting, I was pretty sure, but demon wings were huge. They worked better than any curtain I could imagine.
"Can you call a shield?" Bel asked.
Days of training made it easy. I wrapped myself in one as I answered, "Yep. Covered."
"Good, because we're about to be swarmed. Do not let them touch you, Muse. I taught you better than that."
So he thought, but my self-defense lessons had been something I wasn't very good at. However, if all bets were off, there were a few things I did excel at. Draining aether was one. It might even be the biggest one.
From directly above us, something moved. I ducked, reaching one arm up as defense but Bel was faster. He turned, swinging what looked to me like a lightning bolt, and I watched as a white, feathered wing separated from the tin looking man it had been attached to. With a scream, the angel plummeted down, landing hard only feet
away. What I didn't expect was the blood. Bright red and more than I'd ever seen before, it drained from the severed limb and spurted from the remaining stump. A part of me was grossed out, but I couldn't stop to think. While he was trying to grab at the remnants of his wing, I darted in and slapped my hand against him. Then I pulled, refusing to stop until the asshole was unconscious.
Aether. This war was about the resource they needed most, and I was a magnet for it. Doing my best to stay low, out of Bel's way, I kept to the cliff wall and searched the skies. Angels were everywhere, each one trying to find an opening, but Sam was right. This ledge was small enough that four demons could hold it, and positioned so they couldn't come directly at us except for from the front.
That didn't mean I couldn't come at them. Spotting an angel at the top of the cliff, I reached, straining to call the life force inside him. I had no idea how to do it, or if it was even possible. All I knew was that I'd pulled out the robber's life without touching him. I'd drawn Gabe's after I let go. That meant there was a chance I could do it from here. I just had to try a little harder.
When the man began to scream, I knew it was working. This time, the aether was chrome, beautiful in its own way, but it was about to be mine. Trusting Beelzebub to keep me safe, I dared to close my eyes and pull as hard as I could. Completely focused on the power rushing into me, I never stopped to think about what would happen if it worked. Not until Bel suddenly jerked me out of the way and a dazed Angel crashed onto the ledge where I'd been only seconds before.
Without remorse, Bel cleaved the creep's body in half and turned back for more. Me? I sucked up the last of the aether then thrust my palm against Bel's back. "Refill incoming," I warned, then relaxed. Just like I had with Sam, the trick to get through Bel's wards was to convince them that this aether already belonged to the big lug. I just had to make his protections believe it was one and the same. It wasn't even hard.
"Luke next," Bel growled over his shoulder. "He's throwing too much."
I nodded even though he couldn't see and kept pushing. That didn't mean Bel stopped fighting, he just kept his feet planted while he did it. Clinging to his back, I twisted and turned with him, but I kept pushing, encouraging the life to flow from me to him until it felt too thick and sluggish. Only then did I let go and scramble away from the demon's wild thrusts.