by Meg Cabot
You would, I know, have done the same for me.
Now. Details please. And remember that I am an old married lady and on massive amounts of hormones. So make it good.
J
* * *
To: Jen Sadler
Fr: Kate Mackenzie
Re: Last night
Okay. Well.
You know, after you guys came in with the good news—at least, I hope it will turn out to be good news. If Peter really does what he said he was going to do, anyway—and Mitch hit Skiboy and I pretended to break up with him (SB, I mean) and we got the whole thing straightened out and everything, Mitch was like, “Let’s get out of here,” and I was like, “Why?” and he was like, “Because of that,” and there was Skiboy, you know, all dejected on the couch.
And it WAS kind of depressing, what with Dolly and Peter making out right in front of him.
So, Jen, I went with him. You know he doesn’t live that far away, it was just a few blocks’ walk, and it really WAS just supposed to be to have drinks until things back at Dolly’s cooled off a little. . . . I didn’t imagine it would be anything more than a drink or two, and all, because you know I thought his little sister was still there.
But then we got to his place and I asked where Sean was and he said she’d left a note saying she was going to his sister’s in Greenwich. . . .
. . . and that’s when I realized I was in big trouble.
And oh! Jen, I know I shouldn’t have, but he has such really nice lips, and he’d just committed a burglary for me, and hit Skiboy, and his knuckles were all raw so I was running them under the tap in the kitchen, when I happened to look up, and there were those lips, and . . .
Well, is it really my fault, what happened next?
Jen, he was so gentle and nice and STRONG (he CARRIED me from the kitchen to the bedroom) and underneath his clothes he is as much of a superhero as the ones on his ties, that wheelchair-basketball thing must be some workout, let me tell you.
And I know I’ve only been with one other guy before, and don’t have a wide and varied experience to draw upon, but, Jen, I have to say . . . lawyers really DO do it better.
Or maybe it’s just Mitch.
In any case, I didn’t get much sleep, but I don’t care, I don’t feel tired or anything, just . . . HAPPY! Happier than I’ve felt in weeks. Maybe even years. Jen! He loves me! He told me! He loved me from the moment he first saw me, in the conference room, when I was dribbling on about chicken in garlic sauce! Remember how I told you about that?
Well, the whole time, he loved me, and was trying to figure out ways to get me to love him back, seeing as how he knew I hated lawyers, what with the whole Mrs. Lopez thing. He thought that if he could prove Amy lied about the letter that day I gave my second deposition, it would show me that he was really on my side—on Mrs. Lopez’s side—and that then I might start to like him. But then the whole thing backfired, and instead of getting Amy in trouble, he got ME in trouble, and he just felt awful, and, JEN!!!!
HE LOVES ME!!!!
Oh, what did I ever do to deserve such a great guy?
He wants me to move in.
But you would be really proud of me, Jen. I said no. I said it was too soon. I said I needed to get my job back first—or some job, anyway—and then we could talk about it.
We made breakfast together, and shared a cab downtown. JUST LIKE HARRISON FORD AND MELANIE GRIFFITH IN WORKING GIRL!!!!!!
Oh my God, I’m so happy, I’m telling you, even if I don’t get my job back, I wouldn’t care. I have HIM!
Well, okay, I wouldn’t care much.
Oh, all right, I’d care. Have you heard anything?
Kate
* * *
To: Kate Mackenzie
Fr: Jen Sadler
Re: Last night
Sorry. Can’t talk now. Must go into ladies’ room to splash cold water on face.
J
* * *
To: Mitchell Hertzog
Fr: Stuart Hertzog
Re: Work
You remember work, don’t you, Mitch? It’s that place we all come to every day and sit at things called desks, and type on things called computers, and try things called LEGAL CASES.
It might behoove you to remember that you have a job, and that it starts at nine sharp. Not nine thirty, as you seem to think. You can’t just come waltzing in here any time you damn please, just because you’re the boss’s son, you know.
Speaking of which, when Dad gets back, your ass is grass. When he hears that shit you pulled at the Lopez depo, you’ll be back downtown, defending the Gomez brothers for assault and battery, or whatever the fuck it is you used to do all day.
Stuart
Stuart Hertzog, Senior Partner
Hertzog Webber and Doyle, Attorneys at Law
444 Madison Avenue, Suite 1505
New York, NY 10022
212-555-7900
* * *
To: Stuart Hertzog
Fr: Mitchell Hertzog
Re: Work
Promise?
Mitch
* * *
To: Amy Jenkins
Fr: Stuart Hertzog
Re: You
My angel. I can’t tell you what your last missive meant to me. The fact that you will still have me, in spite of my deficiency, means more to me than all the money in the world. Can I take you some place nice for lunch, to celebrate? Daniel, perhaps? Please let me know.
Stuart
Stuart Hertzog, Senior Partner
Hertzog Webber and Doyle, Attorneys at Law
444 Madison Avenue, Suite 1505
New York, NY 10022
212-555-7900
* * *
To: Stuart Hertzog
Fr: Amy Jenkins
Re: You
Daniel sounds divine! One o’clock okay?
Amy
Amy Denise Jenkins
Director
Human Resources
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
212-555-6890
[email protected]
This e-mail is intended only for the use of the individual to which it is addressed and may contain information that is privileged and confidential. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that you have received this transmission in error; any review, dissemination, distribution, or copying of this transmission is prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify us immediately by reply e-mail and delete this message and all of its attachments.
* * *
To: Courtney Allington
Fr: Amy Jenkins
Re: Hey
I haven’t heard back from you. Usually your replies are so prompt. Did you get my last, about Stuart being Jewish? I tried calling just now, but your assistant said you were in meetings all morning. Drinks after work? Let me know.
Ames
P.S. Courtney, the fact that my fiancé is Jewish—that doesn’t bother you, does it? I mean, he’s not a PRACTICING Jew. He’s just of Jewish descent. I mean, it’s not like he goes around in a yarmulke or anything. As if!
Ames
Amy Denise Jenkins
Director
Human Resources
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
212-555-6890
[email protected]
This e-mail is intended only for the use of the individual to which it is addressed and may contain information that is privileged and confidential. If you are not the intended recipient, you are her
eby notified that you have received this transmission in error; any review, dissemination, distribution, or copying of this transmission is prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify us immediately by reply e-mail and delete this message and all of its attachments.
* * *
To: Amy Jenkins
Fr: Penny Croft
Re: Meeting with Peter
Amy, Peter Hargrave would like to meet with you this morning at eleven. Please phone me to let me know whether or not you can make it. If not, can we reschedule? He really must meet with you at some point today.
Penny
Penny Croft
Assistant to Peter Hargrave
Founder and CEO of
The New York Journal
* * *
To: Stuart Hertzog
Fr: Amy Jenkins
Re: Promotion
Stuart, darling, remember that position I told you I applied for—vice president of Employee Development? Well, I just got an e-mail from Peter Hargrave’s assistant, wanting to schedule an appointment with the big man himself. Honey, I think it’s happened! I’m going to be a VP!
Better call Daniel and tell them to chill the champagne. We’re going to have a double celebration!
Amy
Amy Denise Jenkins
Director
Human Resources
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
212-555-6890
[email protected]
This e-mail is intended only for the use of the individual to which it is addressed and may contain information that is privileged and confidential. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that you have received this transmission in error; any review, dissemination, distribution, or copying of this transmission is prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please notify us immediately by reply e-mail and delete this message and all of its attachments.
* * *
To: Mitchell Hertzog
Fr: Stacy Trent
Re: Last night
So who was over last night when I called? That didn’t sound like Sean. I’m sorry if I interrupted anything, I just wanted to know if you’d seen that comic dog on Conan. He was ripping on Eminem again, it was HILARIOUS. I know I’m not usually up that late, but Little John has a cold.
So. Who was she? Was it HER? What was she doing at your place after midnight? Naughty, naughty.
Besides, I thought she hated you, for getting her fired and all of that.
Stace
* * *
To: Stacy Trent
Fr: Mitchell Hertzog
Re: Last night
Yes, it was HER. Or Kate, as you had better get used to calling her, since I’m hoping she’s going to become a permanent addition to—well, not the family, since I would never wish that on anyone, but at least to me.
Stacy, I have to say, when you married Jason, I thought you were completely insane. I mean, MARRY someone? Pledge to spend your entire life with one other person, until DEATH? For what? So you can end up like Mom and Dad, barely able to stand the sight of each other? Who in their right mind would ever wish such a thing on their worst enemy?
But I understand now. I get it. I want to be with her, and just her, forever. For the rest of my life. If she’ll have me. Which I think she might, if I just play my cards right. . . .
I can’t wait until you meet her. I think she’ll almost balance out Amy.
Almost.
Last night was the most incredible night of my life. Is this how you felt, the first time you and Jason . . . you know?
No. Strike that. I don’t want to know. The thought of the two of you. . . .
Gotta go.
Mitch
* * *
To: Mitchell Hertzog
Fr: Stacy Trent
Re: Last night
Oh, what, the thought of me doing my husband makes you want to barf?
Well, never mind. It does me, too.
Just kidding.
So, um, congrats on you and the girl. She must be something, if she’s got YOU talking wedding bells. But I always knew you’d find the right girl eventually.
By the way, did you hear about Stuart’s genetic test results? Turns out he’s a carrier for Tay Sach’s disease. Which means that somewhere back in our genealogical past, we were Jewish. No big surprise, is it, that we should have had a relative who, upon witnessing the pogroms, conveniently converted?
Mom is in fits over the whole thing. She thinks the country club is going to kick us out if they find out. Jason was like, “Why would she even want to belong to an organization that discriminates against ethnicity—or anything else for that matter?”
Poor Jason. You think he’d have learned by now, wouldn’t you?
Hey, so, what was Sean up to while you and Little Miss Dreamgirl were reaching the heights of ecstasy on those brown sheets of yours (we so need to take a little trip to Bloomies)?
Stace
* * *
To: Stacy Trent
Fr: Mitchell Hertzog
Re: Sean
What are you talking about? Sean left me a note saying she was staying with you this weekend. Isn’t she there?
Mitch
THE NEW YORK JOURNAL
New York City’s Leading Photo-Newspaper
Peter Hargrave
Chief Executive Officer
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
212-555-6000
Amy Jenkins
Director
Human Resources
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
Dear Ms. Jenkins:
This letter serves to inform you that as of today’s date, your employment at the New York Journal has been terminated. Your belongings from your workstation have been inventoried and packed. You are to be escorted from the premises by Security, and have been listed as Persona Non Grata at this location. Should you need to speak to anyone regarding the termination of your position at the New York Journal, you will need to do so by telephone. Your initials below indicate receipt of this letter.
Peter Hargrave
pc/PH
THE NEW YORK JOURNAL
New York City’s Leading Photo-Newspaper
Security Division
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
212-555-6890
MEMO
To: All Personnel
Fr: Security Administration
Re: Persona Non Grata
Persona Non Grata Notification
Please note that the below named individual has been classified Persona Non Grata in 216 W. 57th Street as of the date of this notification, and will continue to remain so indefinitely. This individual is not to be allowed on or near the premises of 216 W. 57th Street at any time during the term of above sanction.
Name: Amy D. Jenkins
ID#: 3164-000-5001
Description: (photo attached)
White female, 30 years of age
5 feet, 6 inches, 120130 lbs.
Blonde hair, blue eyes
Contact Security immediately upon sighting of above individual.
THE NEW YORK JOURNAL
New York City’s Leading Photo-Newspaper
Peter Hargrave
Chief Executive Officer
The New York Journal
216 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
212-555-6000
MEMO
To: All Depart
ments
Fr: Peter Hargrave, CEO
Re: Human Resources Director
Please be aware that Amy Jenkins is no longer with the company. The newly appointed acting Human Resources Director is Jennifer Sadler. Please welcome Ms. Sadler to her new position. We are very pleased and fortunate that she agreed to take on a position of so much responsibility with so little advance notice. Thank you, Jennifer!
pc/PH