“My room’s a mess,” I say out of habit even though it’s probably the cleanest it’s been in a while.
She glances around the room like she’s taking it all in. “You can tell a lot about a person by what he’s got in his room.”
My bedroom is sparse. I spend most of my free time lifting weights at the gym or playing video games. I’m not much of a reader but I’ve got a few books on my desk. She hones in on The Things They Carried.
“My dad had this book,” she says as she flips through the pages.
“Did you read it?”
She shakes her head. “I’m not much of a reader.”
“Me neither. My parents gave me the book when I started talking about joining the army. They weren’t exactly excited about my decision to serve my country.”
“Why did you join?”
No one’s ever asked me that question before. Maybe they just assumed they knew the reasons why.
“I thought it was the right thing to do,” I say.
“Do you always do the right thing?”
“I always try to do the right thing. Sometimes it’s not easy to figure out what’s right and sometimes you don’t understand what was right until you reflect on the decisions you already made.”
She looking at with such intensity, it’s almost like she’s trying to see right through me.
“You ask some really deep questions,” I remark.
She smiles. “You’ve got some really deep answers.”
She places the book back on my desk.
“So where’s your dad?” I ask. Of course, I wonder how he could let his daughter be with someone like Dex.
“Dead,” she says a little too matter-of-factly. It almost chills me.
“I’m sorry. My dad died last year.”
“Was it hard losing him?”
“Very. And I think it was even harder because we lost our mom six months before our dad died.”
She searches my face. “I can tell you loved your parents.”
“I did.” I wonder how she knows that. “What about your mom?”
She hesitates for a moment then grabs a Captain America action figure I have on my desk. “My mom’s in prison.” She fiddles with the action figure as she continues. “She was dealing meth. It wasn’t her first offense so she got a tougher sentence. Twenty years. I haven’t seen her since she went to prison.”
I can’t imagine what Gracie has been through. I saw a lot of bad shit in Iraq but I had a completely normal childhood with loving parents who were crazy about their kids. If it’s even possible I think my brothers and I were loved too much.
Gracie places the action figure back on my desk. “Who lives here with you?”
“My oldest brother, Jake, who you met at the bar. He manages Haymakers. And my younger brother, Hunter. He’s getting ready to start the police academy in a few weeks. My other brother, Cooper, lives in the city with his fiancée, Riley.”
“It’s a big house for just three people,” she remarks.
“It’s been in my family for generations. So has our bar.”
“Thanks for letting me stay here,” she says.
“No problem. There’s obviously plenty of room.”
We both look at each other. I don’t want her to go but I also don’t want her to think that she has to have sex with me.
Not that she’ll want to once she sees my leg. It’s more likely that she’ll run out of the room screaming like in some horror movie. And that’s not an exaggeration. That’s about how horrible my limb looks. I haven’t let anyone see my leg since I got back from Iraq. Not even my brothers. I always wear long pants or sweat pants, even on the hottest summer days.
My dresser is bare except for one framed photo of me and my brothers. I was about eight at the time it was taken. We were at the shore on a family vacation. My parents took us to Asbury Park or Seaside Heights for a few weeks every summer.
Gracie picks up the photo and inspects it. “You were cute.”
“Obviously a long time ago.”
She sets the photo back down on my dresser and looks at me. There’s a hint of a smile on her face. “Maybe you still are.”
She can’t be serious. No one would ever mistake me for cute, or even remotely attractive in any way. I’ve heard girls whisper when they thought I couldn’t hear them. I’ve been called scary and tough-looking, even crazy, but never cute.
“Are you cold?” I ask. I can see she’s shivering. How could she not be? It’s the middle of winter and even though we’ve got heat, the place is still old and drafty. And all she’s wearing is a thin T-shirt.
“We’d better get you back into bed.”
She looks panicked at the suggestion. “Is it okay if I sleep in here with you?
Now I’m the one who’s panicked. “Why?”
She looks down at her bare feet. I really need to give her some socks. “I don’t like being alone.”
I swallow. Hard. I’m not sure what to say or do. Part of me would love to fall asleep with her beside me and wake up with her in my bed, but an even bigger part of me knows that if she sees my leg, she won’t be calling me cute anymore.
The sight of the mangled limb will probably make her sick. It certainly turns my stomach every morning when I have to look at it.
The bomb did a good job on my leg. And I’m the one who got the best of that deal. I’m one of the lucky ones because I lived and I can still walk and I still have all of my limbs, even if one of them makes me look like a freak. At least it’s still there and functional. There were lots of other guys in the brigade who weren’t as lucky.
When I look back at Gracie she looks so vulnerable. How can I possibly say no to any request she makes? Hell, if she asked me to take her to the moon, I’d probably work my ass off until I could find a way to do it for her.
“Okay,” I agree. “But only if you agree to put some socks on. Your feet must be freezing.” The entire house is covered with old restored wooden floors. They’re beautiful but they’re also cold as hell in the winter.
I shuffle through my sock drawer until I find a new pair that I haven’t worn yet and hand them to her. Of course they’re way too big but at least her feet are warm.
We both stare at the bed. And then look at each other. It’s a little awkward and we both laugh nervously.
“Which side do you like to sleep on?” she asks.
I’m usually all over the bed. I often have nightmares and I tend to toss and turn a lot. Maybe I should try to stay awake so I won’t scare her or keep her awake.
“I’ll take the right,” I say because it’s the closest to the door. Maybe she’ll feel safer that way.
She nods and climbs on to the left side of the bed.
“You should get under the covers so you’ll be warm,” I urge.
She hesitates for a moment then gets under the comforter.
I have a King size bed and Gracie looks even tinier tucked under the thick covers surrounded by all of my overstuffed pillows.
After Iraq, I never thought there’d be a day when I’d have a girl in my bed. I know she probably won’t be there for long. Once she gets to really know me and once she sees how fucked up my body is, I know she won’t want me and she’ll find a way to make a quick exit out of my life. But for right now, for this moment, I enjoy watching her lie there. I want to take a snapshot of her in my mind, so I’ll always have the memory, even if I know I can’t have her.
“Aren’t you going to get into bed?” she asks.
I nod and lie down next to her on top of the covers. She gives me a curious look and I’m sure it’s because I’m still fully clothed.
“Aren’t you going to get changed?”
I shake my head. How can I tell her that I don’t want to scare her away? That I just want this one night. I want to fall asleep with her in my bed and wake up next to her.
“Are you sure?” She sounds very concerned.
“I’m sure.”
She’s still looking
at me with the puzzled expression. Then without saying another word, she moves as close as she can to me and lays her head on my chest. I’m absolutely frozen and I feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t believe she’s so close to me, lying on me. I inhale her feminine scent. It’s another moment that I know I’ll never have again and I want to cherish it.
She snuggles a little closer to me then lets out a small, satisfied sigh.
It’s not long before her breathing starts to slow and I know she’s asleep.
***
When my eyes are assaulted by faint rays of sunlight peeking through the plantation shutters, I realize I must have fallen asleep. It takes me another moment to realize that Gracie is still snuggled up next to me, her head on my chest. She hasn’t moved the entire night and neither have I.
As much as I don’t want to wake her nature calls and I really need to use the bathroom. I try to extricate myself from the bed as slowly as possible but the moment I move, I wake her.
She looks confused for a second then awareness crosses her face. “What time is it? I can’t believe I slept through the whole night.”
“I can’t believe I did either,” I admit. “I need to use the bathroom. We have several, if you’d like to use one too. You can take a shower. There are towels. And I can give you another T-Shirt to wear, if you’d like.”
She nods.
I hop up from the bed and scrounge through my drawer for another T-shirt. They’re all extra-large but it’ll have to do for now. Until we can get her some clothes. I hand her the T-shirt and then we both go out into the hallway. It’s quiet. My brothers are probably both still asleep. No surprise there.
“The blue bathroom is nice,” I say as I point out the room near the end of the hall. “Just make sure you lock the door.”
She smiles. “I remember.”
I like that her hair is still a little messy from sleep and she doesn’t seem to mind. She’s definitely not the high maintenance type of girl that Jake tends to go for.
“Would you like breakfast?” I ask. “I could fix us something.”
“I could eat.”
“Okay, what do you like?”
“Everything…anything.”
“Eggs and bacon?”
She nods.
“Pancakes?”
She nods again.
“Cereal and toast?”
Another nod.
I laugh. “Okay, is there anything you don’t like?”
She thinks about it for a moment. “Just apple sauce.”
“That’s it? Just apple sauce.”
“That’s it.”
“What do you have against apples?”
She grins. “Nothing. I love apples. I just hate apple sauce. It seems like such a cruel thing to do to such a majestic fruit.”
I have to laugh. “Okay, no apple sauce. But everything else is okay.”
“Everything else is great.”
***
“Something smells good,” Jake says as he enters the kitchen.
I’m making pancakes, eggs, bacon, toast…the works. There’s really enough to feed a small army and I should know, having been in the army.
“That’s not all for you and that tiny girl, is it?”
“Gracie.” My brother doesn’t have that great of a memory when it comes to names. Especially women. Even if he’s slept with them. Good thing he has an overabundance of charm and personality to make up for it. And a plethora of generic monikers he can pull out quickly. If he can’t member a guy’s name, it’s “Hey, Buddy” or “My Best Pal.” A girl is often, “Hey, Beautiful” or “Hey, Babydoll.”
“Gracie, right,” he says as he inspects the food I’m making. “You guys must have had some workout last night.”
When I glare at him he winks. My brother is the king of the one-night stand. He’s had a lot of practice over the years. Lately, he averages about two to three a week.
“It’s not like that,” I mutter as I flip the last of the pancakes.
“It’s always like that.” Jake snickers.
“Maybe for you. I’m not you.”
Except for a slight family resemblance, there are few ways in which Jake and I are alike. He was the star of the state championship football team in high school. Also the most popular guy in school. Everyone loved him. Even ten years out of high school, people still talk about him like he was some kind of legend.
I was the guy who sat in the back corner of the room who most kids kept their distance from because they thought I was scary and weird. I barely made it through high school and not because I wasn’t smart but because I was miserable. Most of the people I went to high school with don’t even remember I was in their class.
Jake grabs a plate from the cupboard and fills it with pancakes and bacon then loads on the syrup. He seems to be thinking about it for a moment then adds a spoonful of scrambled eggs on the top of his food pile.
Hunter is still wiping the sleep from his eyes as he stumbles into the kitchen. My younger brother used to also be my “little” brother but that isn’t the case anymore. He’s been going to the gym with me regularly, working hard to build some bulk, and it’s really paid off. He’s not quite as big as me but he’s pretty buff.
“Something smells great.” Hunter is already eyeing the eggs and bacon.
“Dig in,” I urge.
He doesn’t waste any time grabbing a plate and helping himself to the grub.
“Was there someone in your room last night?” Hunter asks casually. There’s still surprise in his tone. “I thought I heard voices?”
Before I have a chance to respond Jake chimes in. “Nothing happened. I guess he couldn’t close the deal.”
Sometimes I just want to punch Jake’s smug face. He can be such an asshole.
“Who is it?” This time Hunter addresses the question to me.
“It’s kind of a long story.”
He sits at the kitchen table with Jake. “I’ve got plenty of time.”
So I sit down with my brothers and tell them everything I know about Gracie, which isn’t much.
Just before my brothers get up to get a second helping of food, Gracie enters the kitchen. Three sets of eyes land on her at the same time.
She’s wearing the clothes she had on yesterday, including my leather jacket. The coat is so big on her she looks like a little girl playing dress-up in her parents’ clothes. Jake gives me an odd looks when he notices Gracie is wearing the jacket. I’m not surprised. My brothers tormented me about the jacket for weeks after I bought it. I’m not the type of guy who spends a lot of money on anything, especially clothes. I live a very simple life. But for some reason, that jacket appealed to me. It’s a black bomber and was pretty pricey. Besides my truck, it’s probably the most expensive thing I own. Or used to own. Now the jacket belongs to Gracie. And I’m glad she seems to like it even if she’s got a habit of wearing it around the house.
“If you’re cold, I could turn up the heat,” I suggest as I get up to serve her breakfast.
“I’m good,” she replies as she pulls the jacket tight around her.
I want to tell her she’s much more than good but my brothers are already getting enough of a show. But she looks so incredibly sexy standing there in my jacket I have to put my hands deep into my pockets in order to keep my quickly growing erection in check.
“What would you like?” I ask as I grab a plate from the cupboard.
She carefully inspects all of the food choices lined up on the counter. “It all looks great.”
“Would you like to try a little bit of everything?” I suggest.
She looks up at me then touches her stomach. A little bit of sadness seems to wash over her face. “Maybe just a piece of toast.”
She looks like she might cry.
“You can have whatever you want. You must be hungry. You hardly ate anything for dinner.”
I never actually saw her eat anything for dinner and I sure as hell don’t want her just to eat a single
piece of toast for breakfast. No wonder she’s so tiny.
“You have to eat more than one piece of toast. Let me just give you a little of everything and if you don’t like it, you don’t have to eat it. How about that?”
She furrows her brow like she’s giving it some thought. Then she finally gives me one quick nod.
I don’t wait for her to change her mind. I pile her plate high with pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon. Then I fix another plate for myself. I take both of the plates to the table where my brothers are already seated and set them down.
Gracie looks afraid to sit down with my brothers. Not that I blame her. The Wilde boys are all tall, muscular guys and we make for an intimidating group when we’re together.
“You remember my brother, Jake, from the bar. And this is my brother, Hunter.”
Jake gives Gracie one of his big, charismatic smiles and that seems to relax her a bit. Then Hunter gives her a quick wave. Hunter’s the quiet one of the Wilde boys. He’s come out of his shell a little bit since he got accepted to the police academy but it will be interesting to see how much he grows after sixteen weeks of paramilitary training. I know I wasn’t the same person after going through Army boot camp and I sure as hell wasn’t the same person after serving in Iraq. Hunter’s a good kid. I just hope becoming a cop doesn’t jade him too much.
Gracie takes the seat next to me and just stares at her food for a few moments. Then she picks at it the same way she picked at her food at the bar last night.
“Eat up,” I urge. “Otherwise these hungry jokers might steal the food from your plate.”
That makes Gracie smile and I smile in response. I like making her happy. It makes me happy. And I haven’t been happy in a long time. I think I’ve smiled more since I met Gracie than I I’ve smiled in months.
I watch as she finally takes a bite of her food. She seems to be savoring the crisp bacon. There aren’t a lot of things I’m good at but I am a fairly decent cook.
Gracie takes a bite of the pancakes next and savors it with just as much gusto. “Hmmm,” she exclaims. “The food is great.”
The Wilde One (Old Town Country Romance) Page 4