He suddenly noticed people sending him quick, suspicious looks, as if he might be planning on breaking into someone's car. If he didn't get moving, someone might call his good buddy Sutter.
Good grief, he was getting paranoid, Jake thought on the way back to the mall. He spotted Rebecca and Katie outside the toy store, laughing and window-shopping while they ate matching double-dip chocolate ice cream cones. Rocky Road. It had always been Rebecca's favorite. Jake held back to watch them, to savor the sight of them side by side, their beautiful mother-daughter faces lit with excitement as they pointed out the various dolls and stuffed animals.
Suddenly all he could hear were the notes of longing and regret in their voices. His feelings of inadequacy spiraled to new heights as Jake realized his only child had lost her entire stuffed animal collection in the tornado, and there was nothing he could do to bring it back.
Nothing. He was practically broke. What money he still had he needed to continue making repairs to the house and to provide basic food and shelter for Rebecca and Katie. He'd made that clear when Rebecca had tried to give him money for groceries. Jake wasn't about to accept money from Rebecca. He hadn't contributed a penny to Katie's support in the past eight years. He'd never be able to make those years up to them, but the least he could do while his daughter and her mother were staying under his roof was feed, if not clothe them.
Katie seemed enthralled by a large, shockingly expensive polar bear with its arms wrapped lovingly around its cub. Her gaze returned to it again and again, while Rebecca gently suggested several smaller animals, subtly guiding their daughter the way she no doubt had since birth.
Ironically, she reminded Jake of his own mother then, and he wondered how his life might have turned out if she hadn't abandoned him to his father when he was Katie's age. A father who had taken great delight in reliving his own in-your-face childhood by turning his “mama's boy” into a total hellion.
Not that Jake had minded, in the beginning. After all, it had been his only way to earn Mickey's notice or approval. But when the trouble he was getting into started getting serious, and Jake realized he was being used...
Jake hadn't thought about his parents in years, but watching Rebecca mother Katie brought back memories of his own parents and what they hadn't given him—with unsettling clarity. Unconditional love. Served up with a heaping dose of patience, protectiveness, and kindness. No matter what he did or said or looked like. No matter what kind of mood he was in. No matter how bad he felt.
Funny, he still wanted to be loved like that. And despised himself for it, knowing he had nothing to offer in return.
"Ready to go inside?” Rebecca asked Katie, and tossed her napkin into a nearby trashcan.
"Yep.” Katie grinned in anticipation and threw her own napkin into the trash as the toy store door opened. Rebecca reached for the handle to hold it open, and then seemed to freeze as Avery Dillenger, wearing one of his fancy suits, emerged from the store. He carried two mega-size paper shopping bags, both stuffed to near overflowing with small toys.
Jake stared. Toys? Dillenger? Everyone knew Avery Dillenger lived alone in the biggest mansion in Glenhill. He didn't have any siblings or even cousins he could claim close kinship with—except Jake, and that relationship had never been openly acknowledged by either side of the family, even before Jake's mother's suicide.
"Rebecca. Katie. How nice to see you again."
Jake didn't miss how Katie backed up against Rebecca as she took in Dillenger's polished smile. Until then Jake had assumed his dislike of the man was personal. Now he realized he wasn't alone. Katie and Rebecca didn't much like Dillenger, either.
"Avery,” Rebecca said coolly, her hands coming to rest on Katie's small shoulders.
Jake stepped out from the shadows, prompted by his own protective instincts. Dillenger looked up and their eyes met. Dillenger's gaze hardened with annoyance, then crystallized into an almost smug malice. In that instant Jake knew Dillenger had his boot knife and was holding it for a reason. Suddenly he felt as if a heavy noose had dropped around his neck.
"Donovan. I might have known you'd be lurking nearby."
"What's with the toys, Dillenger? Christmas isn't for another four months."
Dillenger smiled nastily. “Obviously you've been too wrapped up with your “houseguests” to notice there are still quite a few families stranded at the homeless shelter. I thought the children might appreciate a diversion while their parents struggle to find new homes. Not everyone was fortunate enough to be taken in by a family friend,” he added with a thinly challenging look at Rebecca.
"That's very kind of you, Avery,” Rebecca responded evenly. “I'm sure they'll appreciate your generosity."
"I'm sure they will,” Dillenger returned blandly, then focused on Katie. She shrank closer to her mother, obviously afraid of him. Jake stepped forward, catching Dillenger's attention. He speared his cousin with his hardest look, making sure the slimy bastard understood Rebecca and Katie were off limits. If Dillenger so much as touched either of them, Jake would break the man's lily-white hands.
Dillenger leaned down to meet Katie at eye level, but kept his hands on his bags. “I understand you lost your beautiful stuffed animal collection in the tornado. I'm sorry to hear that. I know how much you loved it."
"Mama's buying me a new animal tonight. We're rebuilding."
Mama. Not Jake. Not Mom and Dad. The knowledge ripped Jake's heart apart.
"How nice, but it's going to take quite a while to replace everything you lost, isn't it?” Dillenger reached into one of his bags and pulled out one of the larger animals, a medium-size giraffe. “Here, why don't you start with this one?"
Katie looked up at her mother. She'd obviously been warned not to accept gifts from strangers. But Dillenger was no stranger, not if he'd seen Katie's stuffed animal collection.
"Really, Avery, it's not necessary,” Rebecca began. “I'm sure the children at the shelter—"
"But I insist.” He all but shoved the giraffe into Katie's midsection.
"Thank you,” she responded politely, but without any real sincerity, hugging the giraffe protectively to her chest.
Dillenger's smile made Jake's skin crawl. “Maybe when you play with it you'll think of me, hmmm? Remember all the fun we had out on the bay.” He looked up at Rebecca and Jake, then straightened. “Well, I'd better get going if I'm to make the shelter before bedtime."
"Thank you, Avery,” Rebecca offered stiffly. “I'll see you at the council meeting next week."
Avery glanced at Jake, then broke into another malicious smile. “I look forward to it."
As Dillenger strode away, it was all Jake could do not to rip the damned giraffe away from Katie and stuff it in the nearest trash can. “How does Dillenger know about Katie's stuffed animal collection?” he asked in a low growl once they were in the toy store and Katie was out of earshot. Meeting Dillenger had raised Jake's hackles so much he wasn't about to leave Katie or Rebecca alone for even a minute.
"He's seen it."
Jake stared at Rebecca. “He's been in your house?"
"Once or twice. He took me out a few times."
"Dillenger?” The thought of the man in Rebecca's apartment was bad enough, but the idea of him alone with her...
She shot him a look. “You cut me out of your life, remember? Of course I tried dating."
"But Dillenger?” She might as well have run a stake through his heart.
"It didn't work out, Jake. There's no need to make an issue of it now."
She started to walk away, but he grabbed her arm. “Why didn't it work out?"
Rebecca's pointed glare had the same effect as throwing a bucket of cold water at him. Jake suddenly realized how close he was to making the kind of scene everyone in town expected of him, and released her. “Katie didn't like him,” Rebecca said evenly, then went to rejoin Katie.
At least one of you had some sense, Jake thought hotly, following her. The idea of his daught
er growing up anywhere near Avery Dillenger was enough to make Jake crazy. It wasn't until much later, after they were back at the house and Rebecca was upstairs helping Katie get ready for bed that it occurred to Jake to wonder if Rebecca had liked Dillenger.
Or had it been Dillenger's mansion that Rebecca had wanted? Standing in his shabby little house unexpectedly filled with beautiful antiques, Jake had no trouble imagining them gracing any of the glittering homes in Glenhill.
But Dillenger's?
"We need to talk,” Jake said, as soon as they'd shut the door to Katie's room—his old room—after saying goodnight. Katie had been thrilled to move into the sleigh bed. As she'd crawled between the crisp new Barbie sheets. Rebecca had bought that evening, Jake hadn't missed that Katie had abandoned Dillenger's giraffe in favor of the smaller elephant Rebecca had bought her. The last he'd seen of it, the giraffe hadn't made it past the kitchen. Jake considered snagging it off the counter on his way out the door for his nightly run—and drop kicking it into the bay.
Rebecca had crossed her arms, and was eyeing him frostily.
"What?"
"You said we need to talk."
"We do."
She arched a cool eyebrow. “About?"
"About tonight. We can't do it again."
"Do what? Go out to dinner? Or go shopping together?"
"Pretend we're a family."
Rebecca blinked, then shot him a look of pure disbelief. Clearly, the only happy family thoughts tonight had been his. “I wasn't pretending anything of the sort."
Then why did Jake feel like he'd been on display tonight, paraded around like some tightly leashed Doberman, while Rebecca shopped for household items bound to be reported all over town? “Then why did you have to stop and talk to half the people on the street and let them know where you're staying?"
"It's hardly a secret, Jake. You know how this town is."
"You aren't going to be here that long, Rebecca."
"I'm not? Weren't you listening to those conversations, Jake? More than half the town is still homeless. Did you see the trailer park that used to be next to the mall? There must have been a hundred homes destroyed in that area alone."
"Yeah, well..."
"You invited Katie and myself into your home, Jake, for as long as we needed to stay. You also invited me to move my furniture into the house, something else that will not go unnoticed around town. I'm sorry you're having second thoughts about the situation, but the facts are that Katie and I are living here, for better or for worse, until a viable alternative presents itself. I don't see that happening any time soon, so I suggest you get used to the idea of having company."
With that, she turned and disappeared into the extra bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Obviously, she'd moved out of his bedroom, which left Jake to either sleep on the couch again or return to his bed. He chose the bed, then spent the rest of the night tossing and turning and cursing as the fresh scent of strawberries sent his mind into endless replays of his memories of Rebecca.
But not once did Jake consider moving back downstairs to find sleep.
Chapter Thirteen
"I've been thinking,” Rebecca said as she handed Jake his first cup of coffee in the kitchen four mornings later. Much to Jake's surprise, she'd taken to getting up at dawn and fixing coffee, starting the morning after their less than memorable trip to the mall.
Jake wasn't about to complain. He'd always enjoyed Rebecca's company more than anyone's. But now, more than that, he enjoyed the time alone with her. He adored Katie, but there were times when he wanted Rebecca all to himself.
They rarely had more than ten minutes together before he had to leave for work, so there wasn't enough time to let his lust get the better of him. Instead he settled for simply enjoying the sight of her, dreaming endlessly of her at night, and carrying with him to work each day warm memories of sharing morning coffee with the woman he loved.
It was only at night, alone in the dark, surrounded by the strawberry-scented sheets he kept putting off washing, that he wondered how he would survive when Rebecca and Katie moved out and he left town.
Taking them with him wasn't an option. Rebecca and Katie were not his to keep. It would be years before he could support himself with any degree of comfort, much less a woman and a child.
"Jake? Are you listening?"
"I'm sorry. What were you saying?"
"Instead of going antique hunting today, I'm going to volunteer at the soup kitchen. Much as I hate to admit it, Avery Dillenger was right. I've been so wrapped up in my own problems I haven't considered how other families are coping. But now that I've submitted my FEMA and insurance claims, replaced the essentials and we're settled in here, I think it's past time to reach out."
Jake had stopped listening after the word Dillenger, his morning mood completely soured. Nothing could have reminded him more rudely that what he was thinking and feeling these days was not permanent. Quite the contrary. The thought put an edge in his voice he didn't like, but couldn't help. He still had no idea what Dillenger was up to with his boot knife, and was getting mighty tired of being Robert Sutter's prime suspect. A day didn't pass that Jake didn't spot a cruiser slide by, making no secret the police were keeping an eye on him.
"What? My fine, upstanding cousin has suddenly awakened in you a need to help your fellow man?"
Rebecca looked startled, then annoyed. “It wouldn't hurt you to try it, Jake. Maybe then people would stop looking at you like you're an axe murderer."
It was Jake's turn to blink, stunned by her calmly delivered words—words that wounded him to the core. “So,” he said slowly, “You finally admit you're ashamed to be seen with me."
"Don't be ridiculous. I'm living here, and so is my child. That says a heck of a lot more about our faith and trust in you than walking down the street together. You were the one who said we couldn't have any more ‘family’ outings."
So that was why she'd made herself scarce in the evenings since then. One night she and Katie had gone to her aunt's for dinner while he replaced the windows the tornado had blown out, the next she'd had some sort of businesswomen's dinner to go to while he watched Katie. Last night they'd eaten dinner together, but afterward, she'd gone over to her aunt's to knit afghans or something for the church to distribute. Jake didn't see why she couldn't knit the damned things here, but at least he'd had Katie to keep him company. They'd played some street ball, then she'd sunk all his battleships—again.
"Oh. I thought you were avoiding me."
Rebecca crossed her arms over her chest and shot him an arch, “Now why would I want to do that when you're so darned pleasant to be around these days?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You. Acting like the town pariah. Aunt Martha would have loved to have you join us for dinner with the Beeson's the other night, but no, you had to take care of the windows."
"The wind was cutting through the plastic, Rebecca. I didn't want you or Katie to freeze."
"But did you have to do it at dinner time?"
Grudgingly, Jake recognized she had a point. “I don't even know those people,” he grumbled. The Beeson's, a young family of four, had moved in with Rebecca's aunt after the tornado.
"We'll you're not likely to get to know them—or anyone else in town for that matter—if you continue to blow off everyone's efforts to befriend you."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"The night we went to dinner at Pizza Sam's."
Jake stared at her, wondering if they'd been in the same restaurant. “Excuse me, Rebecca, but nobody tried to befriend me at Pizza Sam's."
"How could they, after you let the biggest busybody in Warner put you in a foul mood anyone could spot, then spent the rest of the night scowling like you dared anyone to speak to you. Plenty of people were willing to talk with you that night, Jake, but you refused to give them a chance."
Jake frowned hard, stunned. Was she right?
She looked at him
and sighed, her anger apparently spent. “I'm sorry. I've tried to keep my mouth shut and let you work this out on your own, but as far as I can tell, you're determined to keep that huge chip you've got on your shoulder."
"Is that all you think it is? Some kind of grudge I'm holding against everybody? Have you forgotten I'm—"
"A convicted killer? How could I? You don't miss a chance to remind me—or anyone else. It's your whole attitude, Jake. The way you look, talk, walk and move. It says, ‘Don't mess with me.’ If you want to walk the streets of this town—or any other town—without sending people scrambling to get out of your way, you need to treat them a little nicer."
Jake couldn't believe what he was hearing. He needed to clean up his act? When at least one man wanted him out of town badly enough to frame him for murder? “What do you suggest I do?” he asked, fascinated that she'd obviously given this a lot of thought. Short of drinking some sort of magic formula that would turn him into the perfect gentleman, Jake had no clue as to how to accomplish this miracle Rebecca apparently expected of him.
She leaned forward, elbows on the table, clearly warming to her subject. “Try smiling for a change, Jake. Try being open instead of defensive. Try forgetting where you've been and focusing on where you're going. You'd be amazed at the difference it makes."
Jake stared at her, and wondered if she really was naive enough to believe that was all it would take. “Is that what you did?"
Her expression didn't waver. “As a matter of fact, it is. Do you think it was easy, coming back to Warner as an unwed mother? After Chloe? It was what people expected of me, Jake. But I've since proven I'm not Chloe, and you can prove you're not Mickey."
"Like hell.” He looked just like the old man. People weren't likely to forget that. “How?"
"By being yourself. By being the Jake I know. By not sinking to the level of people's expectations. People expect you to be surly, Jake. They expect you to lose your temper over little things and pull the kind of crazy stunts you pulled as a kid. But Mickey's not around anymore, and you're in charge of your life now. For God's sake, Jake. You're a hero. You saved the lives of ten children, whose families are extremely grateful to you, and all you can do when they try to thank you is growl at them as if they've insulted you."
Jake's Return Page 14