by Kitty Neale
‘He's a nasty piece of work and he's got a lot of backup.’
‘Sod his backup. He raped Pet and he needs a good kicking,’ Sue said, her eyes filling with tears. She became quiet then, sniffing and shaking her head with distress.
Bob said nothing, his eyes downcast, and then dashing the tears from her cheeks, Sue said she was going to make them a drink. When she came back from the kitchen, clutching two glasses of whisky, she downed hers quickly, coughing as the liquid hit her throat.
‘Do you feel better now?’ Bob asked.
‘Yeah, but it's been a bit of a shock. I'm upset about Pet, and I suppose I should be annoyed about the porn, but strangely enough, I'm not. Blimey, dirty films. I never would have guessed. You should have told me. I could have been in some of them.’
‘I can't believe this! You're my wife, the mother of my children and you expect me to let you appear in porn films?’
‘Calm down, love, I didn't mean the really dirty ones.’
‘Leave it out, Sue. I wouldn't have you flaunting your body for everyone to see.’
‘Yeah, well, I was only kidding.’
He smiled, mollified, and in truth relieved that Sue had taken it so well. ‘I'm glad to hear it.’
‘Does Yvonne know about the porn – and what about your mother?’
‘Yvonne does now, but only because Danny told her. My mother doesn't know, and if she finds out I dread to think how she'll take it.’
‘I'd like to be around when she finds out. It'll knock Her Highness off of her throne, that's for sure.’
‘Don't be like that, Sue.’
‘What do you expect? You know your mother treats me like a bleedin' leper. Not only that, she hardly bothers with the boys.’
‘With Dad in that state, she's got a lot on her plate.’
‘You always make excuses for her and it gets right up my nose.’
‘For Gawd's sake, Sue, I've just told you about Pet and Jack Garston, but you seem more interested in my mother.’
‘Yeah, yeah, you're right and I'm sickened about what Garston did to your sister. You said Maurice did a runner because he's scared of Garston, but there must be more to it than that.’
‘If we take on Garston, anything could happen. Maurice was worried that next time he might snatch Oliver.’
‘What! Bloody hell! If that's the case – what about our boys?’
‘If we leave Garston alone and if we stay out of the game, I think we'll be all right. Danny's agreed, but I don't know about Chris.’
Sue lost it then, her voice rising in anger. ‘You fucking idiot! How could you put our kids at risk?’
‘But I've told you, it wasn't me. It was Danny's idea. He's the one that got us in this mess.’
‘You'll have to talk to Chris. Make sure he doesn't go after Garston.’
‘Yeah, don't worry, I will. Chris won't want the kids harmed so he'll see sense. Come on, love, calm down, everything is going to be all right.’
With a huff, Sue sat down again. Bob pulled her close, nuzzling her neck.
‘Pack it in,’ she said, but as he carried on, her voice became husky. ‘Porn, blimey, and I bet you enjoyed making those films. Describe one.’
‘What?’
‘Go on. I need something to take my mind off Pet and what that bastard did to her. Tell me about one of the films you made. Did you join in the action?’
‘No, of course not. There's only one woman who turns me on.’
‘I bet it was a laugh, though. Come on, let's have an early night and you can tell me all about it.’
Bob had expected a rollicking – worse – but Sue had surprised him. She had got out of her pram only over the kids, but now that he'd assured her that they'd be fine, she was getting all frisky. Blimey, he thought as he followed her upstairs, what a woman.
Chapter Twenty-nine
On Sunday, Pet came out of her stupor at four in the morning, her body bathed in sweat. She'd been having a nightmare and tried to fight it off, but as her mind cleared it was worse, the memory of what had happened hitting her with force. She curled into a ball, reliving it, sobbing. Jack Garston had been a monster, doing unspeakable things, the pain more than she could bear. He had laughed at her screams, relished it when she fought, slapping, pinching, forcing himself inside her even though she had cried out in agony. It didn't stop then, there was more to come, but when he had thrown her over onto her stomach, the pain as he entered had been so excruciating that something weird happened. She felt as though she was leaving her body, floating away, distant from all that followed. Until now! No, I don't want to think about it! But it was no good, the horror played over and over again in her mind. Her body felt filthy, dirty, degraded.Oh God, oh please, I just want to die. Let me die.
Sobbing, she flung back the blankets, uncaring of the cold as she ran downstairs and into the bathroom. With water gushing into the bath Pet climbed in. Then, taking a scrubbing brush, she attacked her body, on and on, scrubbing, hardly feeling the hard bristles or the pain. Only when she was red raw did her hands finally become still. Tears ran down her cheeks. It was no good. She still felt filthy, defiled, and she doubted that she'd ever feel clean again.
In despair she climbed out of the lukewarm water, dried herself and got back in her nightdress, walking with leaden feet to the living room. In the dim light she saw her father, his arm waving, and with a sob of anguish she ran across the room, throwing herself down beside him on the narrow day bed. ‘Oh, Dad, Dad …’ she wailed.
As his sweaty arm wrapped around her, Pet stiffened, but this was her father, a man who had always looked after her, protected her and one she didn't have to fear. She lay against him, and though he couldn't form words, she knew from the sounds he was making that he was trying to soothe her. The fire was still glowing in the hearth, banked up with nuggets of coke, the warmth and her father's murmurs finally lulling her to sleep.
Pet woke again three hours later, and the first face she saw was her brother's. He was leaning over her, gently shaking her shoulder. It all came flooding back, the films she'd been shown, the awful things she had seen. ‘Get away from me!’
‘Pet, it's all right. It's me, Chris.’
Unable to bear his touch, she shrugged off his hand, remembering almost word for word the things that Jack Garston and Tony Thorn had said about her brothers. She looked at Chris, saw the scar on his cheek, evidence of Garston's warning, but they hadn't listened. She'd been raped because of them, made to pay the price for their refusal to stop making those awful films.
Pet saw her mother walking into the room, a frown on her face as she took in the scene. ‘What's going on? Pet, what are you doing on your father's bed?’
Pet rose to her feet, shivering. She couldn't speak, couldn't tell her mother about the terrible films she'd seen, one in which a child had been raped, or what Jack Garston had done to her. Pet was swamped with shame. She should have fought harder, found something, anything, to smash over his head. With a small sob she fled the room, running upstairs to the sanctuary of her bedroom where, almost leaping into bed, she drew the blankets over her head. She wanted to shut out the world – an evil world she no longer wanted to live in.
‘Did she speak to you, Chris? Did she say anything?’
Chris stared at his mother, heart pounding in his chest. Pet had come out of that strange stupor and now it was only a matter of time before it all came pouring out. ‘Er … yeah, but I didn't catch what she said. I'll go and see if she's all right.’
‘Come through to the kitchen first,’ she hissed.
Chris frowned, but did as his mother asked, his face stretching when she spoke again.
‘You didn't come in until after I was in bed last night, so I couldn't tell you what happened when the doctor examined Pet. Oh, Chris, I don't know how to tell you this, but she … she was raped. I can see you're shocked, but listen, we've got to keep this from your father. You know how he feels about Pet, and if he found out, well, I dread to thi
nk what will happen.’
‘Did she say who did it?’
‘No, she still wouldn't say a word, but if she's talking now, somehow we've got to make sure that she doesn't say anything in front of your father.’
‘All right, Mum, I'll do my best,’ Chris said.
‘There's one more thing. Maybe you can tell me why Maurice and Norma buggered off without even saying goodbye.’
‘What! Bloody hell, this is news to me. When did they leave?’
‘It must have been when the doctor was here, and if you ask me, it's a bit funny. Bob said that Norma's been nagging him for ages to go, but why now and in such an all-fired hurry? Doesn't he care about his sister? Doesn't he care about his family? If you ask me, there's something going on – something that Bob didn't want to tell me. Now come on, you must know.’
‘I don't. Maurice didn't say anything to me and I'm as surprised as you.’
He saw his mother's eyes narrowing suspiciously. Saying that he wouldn't be long, Chris hurried upstairs. He was shocked to hear that Maurice had left so suddenly, and was angry too. How could he go now – just when they all needed to pull together? He'd have a word with Danny and Bob later, but first he had to sort Pet out.
Chris found her buried under a mound of blankets. ‘Pet, it's me, Chris, are you OK?’
The mound moved, but there was no reply. ‘Pet, please, love, we need to talk.’
Once again there was only silence, but Chris knew she could hear him. ‘Listen, when I get hold of Jack Garston, I'll slit his bloody throat.’
Still silence, but Chris continued, hoping that his words would get through. ‘Mum knows that you were raped, but you can't tell her who did it, or why. She won't be able to take it. She'd crack up. There's Dad too – he'll go mad if he finds out that you've been touched. It might cause him to have another stroke. Mum's worried sick and she doesn't want him to find out.’
He heard a small sob and tried to move the blankets aside but she fought him, keeping them tight over her head. ‘Pet, come on, don't be like this.’
At last her head popped out, but the look on her face made Chris reel backward. Her eyes blazed with hate, spittle flying out of her mouth as she yelled venomously, ‘Get away from me! Yes, he raped me, hurt me, and it's all your fault, but you don't seem to care about me. You're just scared that Mum might find out what her precious sons have been up to!’
‘No, Pet, it isn't like that. Of course we care, and I've told you, the bastard will be made to pay for what he did to you. Come on, surely you know that we didn't want this to happen. We had no idea that Jack Garston would go this far.’
‘He warned you, he told me, and your cheek is proof of that.’
‘Yes, I admit he warned us off and we should have listened.’
As though she hadn't heard him, Pet's voice rose again. ‘He made me watch your films. There was one with a little girl in it and she was only about ten years old. It was awful – she was terrified. How could you do that to her? My God, you're animals. You're monsters. You're as bad as him! I hate you, I hate all of you.’
‘I don't know what you're talking about. What little girl?’
‘The one in the film. A film you made!’
‘Leave it out, Pet. It wasn't one of ours. We don't use kids. We'd never do that.’
‘I don't believe you.’
‘Listen to me. All right, I admit we make porn films, but we would never use children. I swear on my life, Pet, I promise you. I don't know what Garston showed you, but it wasn't one of ours.’
The anger seemed to drain from Pet, replaced by heart-rending sobs. She began to rock backwards and forwards as tears streamed down her face. Chris could hardly stand to see her pain and impulsively he leaned forward to drag her into his arms.
‘No, no, don't touch me,’ she cried, fighting off his hands. ‘Go away. Leave me alone!’
‘I can't, Pet, not until you promise me that you won't tell Mum, or speak about being raped in front of Dad. He couldn't take it, Pet, and you know that.’
‘All right – all right!’ she screamed. ‘I won't say anything. Now get out. Get out of my room.’
Chris rose to his feet, relieved that she was going to keep her mouth shut, but hating himself for what they had done to their sister. Yet he hated Jack Garston more. Somehow he'd find the man – and when he did …
‘Chris – Chris, can you come down? I need a hand with your father.’
‘I'm coming,’ he called back.
Pet was still crying and he didn't want to leave her, but she refused to look at him, instead lying down whilst pulling the blankets back over her head.
He found his mother in the kitchen, her face anxious. ‘Close the door,’ she said, and when Chris had done so she asked, ‘Petula was shouting. What did she say?’
‘She's upset, but don't worry, she won't say anything in front of Dad.’
‘Oh, thank goodness, but as I said, Chris, whoever did that to Petula was a monster, a maniac. He needs catching, locking up and the key thrown away.’
‘Don't worry, Mum. I'll have a word with Danny and we'll sort it out.’
‘Yes, I know you will. Now come on, we'd best get your father to the bathroom.’
Chris glanced at the clock. It was still early, but after giving his mum a hand he wanted a word with Danny and Bob. They had a lot to sort out – starting with Jack Garston.
Pet remained buried under the blankets until she heard Chris leave. As soon as he had touched her, images of Jack Garston rose in her mind, the things she'd been forced to watch, the things he had done to her. It had been awful, dreadful, but oh … that poor little girl.
Pet's stomach lurched. Oh God, her mother knew that she'd been raped! She would ask questions. She'd want to know how it happened and who did it. Chris had asked her not to say anything, but there had been no need. She couldn't tell her mother – couldn't speak about the disgusting things that Garston had done to her body.
She shifted, sore, bruised, unable to forget the things that Garston had said about her brothers. At first she refused to believe him, but had finally accepted the truth. Like Garston, like that monster, they made those films, peddled porn. Chris had said they didn't use children and she prayed it was true. The other film had been bad enough and now she shivered. Would Garston add his final warning? A warning that made her stomach chum. After he had raped her he had laughed, taking great delight in telling her that the whole act had been filmed.
Pet licked her lips, her mouth dry and throat parched. Her stomach was empty, hollow, and she couldn't remember the last time she had eaten. She wanted to go downstairs for a drink, but feared facing her mother, knowing that out of her father's hearing, the questions would start.
At last, unable to stand her thirst any longer, Pet threw back the blankets and rose to her feet. There was only one thing she could do. She'd go downstairs and if her mother asked questions, she'd pretend she had no memory of what had happened. But, oh, if only that were true!
* * *
Danny was up, but was still in his dressing gown when Chris walked in.
Danny saw his brother's eyes flick to Yvonne before he said, ‘Danny, we need to talk.’
The older brother ran a hand over his face, saying tiredly, ‘Bob's in charge now. Speak to him.’
‘Leave it out, Danny, we've got things to sort out,’ Chris protested, his eyes once again flicking to Yvonne.
‘It's all right. Yvonne knows everything – about Garston, about the porn. I told her last night.’
‘Why did you do that? Why jump the gun? I've sorted Pet out and she's agreed to keep her mouth shut, but now you've gone and told Yvonne. What if she tells Mum?’
‘She won't,’ Danny said. ‘Ain't that right, Yvonne?’
‘Yes, that's right,’ Yvonne snapped, her back stiff as she walked out of the room.
They had barely spoken last night, Yvonne saying only that she didn't want anyone to know about the baby yet. Baby! He didn't want to be
a father – he wasn't fit to be a father. A wave of despair washed over him. He didn't want to think. All he wanted to do was sleep.
‘Garston showed Pet a film using kids and told her it was one of ours.’
It didn't surprise Danny. Nothing Garston did could surprise him now. He shrugged, saying nothing.
‘Come on, Danny, this had gone far enough. Snap out of it. You can't leave everything to me and Bob. We've got Garston to sort out.’
Danny just wanted Chris to leave. He said tiredly, ‘Bob wants us to back off, and I think he's right. I'm finished with it, Chris, finished with Garston and porn.’
‘You don't mean that, and what's all this about Maurice leaving?’
‘Ask Bob.’
‘For God's sake, Danny, what's the matter with you?’
Danny felt tears stinging his eyes, and he rose to his feet, ashamed, just shaking his head as he went upstairs.
Chris was dismayed, unable to believe that this was Danny. Big Danny, tough Danny, the one who took over, who ran things.
He turned, walked out and went to Bob's house, saying without preamble as he went in, ‘Bob, what's going on? Danny said you're in charge.’
‘Yeah, I know. I think he's lost it, Chris.’
‘You're telling me. Where's Sue? We need to talk.’
‘She's giving the kids a bath.’
‘What's this about Maurice leaving?’
‘You can't blame him, Chris. He was shit scared.’
‘There was no need for him to do a runner. I've had a word with Pet and she's agreed to keep her mouth shut.’
‘Bloody hell, that's good, but Maurice was just as freaked about Garston. Listen, Chris, if we go after him things will only get worse. Maurice was worried about him going for Oliver next, and to be honest I feel the same. It ain't worth it, Chris. It ain't worth putting my boys at risk.’
Chris closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his thoughts. He knew that Bob was right, but it stuck in his craw to let Garston get away with it. ‘All right, Bob, we'll leave him alone for now, but I ain't happy about it.’
‘Thanks, mate. I'll tell Sue and it will put her mind at rest.’