Dave could feel his heart hammering in his chest as he tried to get all his feelings out.
‘Let me tell you a little story about Bob,’ Spencer finally said. ‘You of all people know that we don’t always have the full story about people. I bet the stock squad think you’ve got your shit together. You’ve single-handedly broken up a cattle-stealing operation. You’ve been shot and come back, and you’ve worked your way up to the job you’ve always wanted. You’ve got a wife and child, with another baby on the way. From the outside, it looks like you’ve got it all and everything is rosy, doesn’t it?’
Dave went to say something, but Spencer kept talking.
‘But you and I know that’s not the case. So do you reckon it could be the same with Bob? Yeah, he drinks a little too much, but is there a reason for it?’
‘Well, yeah, I—’
Spencer interrupted. ‘Have you ever noticed his hands?’
Dave blinked. ‘What? What about them?’ As he spoke a picture of Bob’s left hand holding a beer surfaced: pink, scarred tissue snaked across the top of his hand, devoid of any hair.
‘They’ve got scars on them. Burn scars. It’s why he wears long sleeves all the time. You know how he got them?’
The sinking feeling that he had made a huge mistake started in Dave’s stomach. ‘How?’
‘When he was a young copper, we were working out of the same station, like I told you. One night, Bob and his partner tried to pull over some little pain in the arse for running a red light. Now this arsehole decided he didn’t want to stop for the law, so he put his foot down and took off. What do you reckon Bob did?’
‘Chased after him.’ Dave’s stomach churned. He thought he might know where this story was headed. To a nightmare.
‘That’s right. The pursuit was legit, they’d radioed in and done all the right things.’ Spencer stopped talking.
‘What happened?’
‘The arsehole who ran the red light ploughed into a family of four. He was killed, and so was the father and one of the children. Bob pulled the mother and the other child out of the burning car. See, now in our eyes he’s a hero because he’s saved two lives. In his eyes, he’s a murderer because it was his decision to chase the car.’
The word ‘murderer’ hung in the air between them.
Dave dropped his head into his hands and closed his eyes. What a freaking judgemental prick he was.
‘I wonder how you’d go, thinking you were a murderer of innocents?’ Spencer continued softly. ‘The booze is how he manages. There are plenty of functioning alcoholics out there. Bob may or may not be one, and I guess if he is the grog will get him in the long run, but he’s a damn good detective. He just has a few ghosts in his past that need chasing away at times.’ Another long silence. ‘And, mate,’ Spencer finally said, ‘I’m pretty sure you would want your colleagues to look after you, inside the fold, if you’d turned that way after you’d been shot.’
Dave couldn’t imagine his life without all his colleagues; they weren’t just workmates, they were family. ‘Yeah, well, I fucked that up, didn’t I?’
‘Don’t reckon. Bob is a good bloke and I’m sure you already know that. Just all this other shit has got you mixed up. And rightly so. There’s a lot riding on your shoulders.’
‘Yeah. Look, Spencer, I’ve got to go. I’ll ring you later, okay?’
‘Always here, mate. You know that.’
Dave put down the phone and went to get changed into his running gear. He had to move to get rid of what he was feeling: anger, frustration. Defeat. Like he was on a runaway train and unable to get off.
Walking briskly out to the footpath, he did a couple of stretches then took off, not knowing where he was going, just that he needed to clear his head. There were too many thoughts rushing around.
He heard Bob. Boy, you need to go and wash your mouth out. You’ve got no idea what I’ve lived and you couldn’t even imagine.
He was right. How did you live with yourself when you had two people’s deaths on your conscience? Rightly or wrongly, a person couldn’t not feel responsible in that situation. Dave knew he would. How could he judge Bob?
More images of Bob’s hands came to him: on the steering wheel, holding a pen, a phone. Every time Bob looked at his hands and the damage that had been done, he would remember. Bob would never be able to lose sight of the fact that two people had died as a result of a decision he had made.
‘Shit,’ he muttered as he jogged through the pale light of the streetlamp. ‘Shit, shit, shit.’ He felt like punching something, but instead he started to run faster.
The shooting and recovery had left him out of shape and it didn’t take long for his lungs to burn, but he kept going. If he kept pounding the pavement, surely all this confusion would dissipate.
Baby, Mel, Bec, job. With each footstep he said one of those words in his mind. Baby, Mel, Bec, job. His legs kept pumping and he ran on, concentrating only on the words, the streetlamps lighting the way.
Mark’s words echoed around too: We thought you’d be too busy with work.
Was that really what his family thought about him? That he put everything else before them? A sense of shame rushed through him. Surely not. He loved them all. Well, except for Mark. Mark could go fuck himself. Mel, Bec and the new baby—they were his world.
But so was the job.
Letting out a groan, he slowed to a walk, trying to drag oxygen into his lungs, then stopped and bent over, his hand on his hips.
The feeling of needing to punch someone hadn’t gone. He turned to a tree on the footpath and shadow-boxed at it. Right, left, right. Jab! Right, left, right. Jab! He kept going until he couldn’t anymore, then he turned his back on the tree and leaned against its rough bark.
The choice was impossible.
Did he even have to make a choice?
And, if he did, what the hell was the right one?
Chapter 18
Carrying her bag out to the car, Dave walked alongside Mel, his gait matching her slow waddle. He’d spent as much time at the hospital as he could. Not that there had been a lot of conversation while he’d been there. Mel had had her head stuck in a book and he’d read the Farm Weekly, or handwritten reports for Bob on the time they’d spent in the north. At least he’d been in the same room as her.
At night he’d gritted his teeth and knocked on Mark’s door so he could see his daughter. He’d eaten tea with them and then put Bec to bed, before heading back to the hospital to see Mel.
Surely they’d all see now he was committed to his family.
At the office he’d followed up with phone calls to Kevin and Kit. He’d spoken with Glenn, who had told him there was nothing new happening in and around the Boogarin Shire. He’d visited the saleyards again and had not found anyone who knew anything about the cattle missing from Spinifex Downs, or seen anything amiss.
More importantly, he’d apologised to Bob for losing his rag once again. Their conversation had made Dave feel better.
‘Gotta say I’m sorry for the stuff I said up north,’ Dave had said. ‘I understand a little better after talking to Spencer.’
Bob had clapped him on the shoulder. ‘It’s all good, son,’ he’d said. ‘And your situation isn’t that easy either, I know. It’s a bastard of a barrow to push, but you’ll get to the top of the hill in time.’
Dave had turned away, still wanting to roll his eyes. Freaking clichés.
However, with that apology the strong sense of family he’d always felt within the police force had returned. He didn’t feel on the outer or not part of the team. And the stock squad closed in around him as he left early and came in late. They answered his phone and checked his emails, knowing he had to be at the hospital. Their loyalty brought home to him why they looked away when Bob was having another beer.
That was one of the things he loved about being a copper, the close-knit family they became when they joined. And Dave had been looking for that since his father had kicked
him off the farm. The coppers were his family now. And Mel and Bec, and soon the new baby.
‘I’ll get the door,’ Dave said to Mel as he put her bag in the back of the car. He held the door open as she heaved herself inside.
‘I’m really over this,’ she said, putting her hand to her stomach and rubbing it gently. ‘Anytime you want to arrive, little one, I’m more than happy.’
‘I know, honey,’ he said as he got into the driver’s seat and started the car. ‘Only another two weeks to go. And like the doc said, bub might come early after everything you’ve been through. If we’re looking for a little ray of sunshine, that’s it, don’t you think?’
‘Maybe.’
Dave drove towards his in-laws’ house, trying to pat down the ever-present anger he felt when he was going to see Mark. The man was becoming intolerable and Dave was astounded that Ellen could live with him.
Yesterday, at the hospital, Mark had strode into the ward while Dave was there.
‘When are you going to be discharged, Melinda?’ Mark had asked. ‘Has the doctor told you yet?’
‘No, he’s not going to make a decision until we know if Dave can get leave. He doesn’t want me going home to an empty house.’ As she’d said the words, Mel had looked at Dave pointedly.
‘I spoke to Bob about holidays yesterday—’ Dave started, but Mark interrupted.
‘If he can’t care for you, we will,’ he said. ‘You know that. If you want to get discharged, do it now and I’ll take you home. If you’re out of danger, you need to come home.’
‘If you’d let me finish,’ Dave said, standing up, ‘I’m trying to get some leave. Trouble is I’m in a new job and I don’t have a lot up my sleeve—especially since I had all that other time off.’
Mel turned to Dave. ‘Then I’m going to have to go to Mum and Dad’s.’
‘We don’t even know if you’re allowed to go yet!’
‘I know, but if the doctor knows I’m going to be looked after, I’m sure he’ll discharge me. They could use the bed for someone else then.’
Dave knew that he couldn’t argue, and he couldn’t put into words how much he hated the smug look on Mark’s face.
Now, pulling up in the driveway, he turned in his seat and looked at Mel. ‘I have to go back to work this afternoon because I have a phone hook-up with the Department of Public Prosecution.’
Mel turned to him, anger on her face, but he held up his hand.
‘It’s not what you think. I’m trying to get an adjournment of the trial until after the baby is born and you’re back on your feet. I don’t know how successful I’ll be but I’m going to try.’
Dave watched her face soften and her mouth turn up into a smile. ‘That’s good news,’ she said.
‘Don’t get your hopes up, though, sweetie. But I will try. If that doesn’t work, then I’ll ask for a video link-up.’
‘I’d feel so much better knowing you weren’t in Queensland,’ Mel said, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. ‘If you go there, those people might try and kill you again.’
‘You do understand that my identity has been suppressed, don’t you?’ Dave asked. ‘It’s not like they know who I am, or where I’m from.’
‘But they might have more contacts within the police department who can tell them.’
Dave took her hand. ‘They’re not going to find me. There were no records of me on the police database when I was undercover. Everything in the computer system was hidden. The only two people who knew who I was while I was in Nundrew were Spencer and Justin. You don’t have to be concerned about another dirty cop passing on my information because it’s not there.’ He was losing patience with the ‘someone might murder you’ attitude that Mel was adopting. Did she think the police department was incompetent?
‘Hiding your identity isn’t enough, Dave,’ Mel said. ‘I’m scared of losing you. I need to know that you’re safe, and staying here is the only way.’
They looked up as Mark came out onto the front steps of the house and stood waiting. Dave felt the familiar urge to punch his father-in-law but instead he took Melinda’s face in his hands and kissed her, long and hard.
‘I will be safe,’ he promised her.
‘Can you tell me why you need an adjournment?’ Hal McCure asked as he leaned towards the computer and looked at Dave.
The video call had been set up in a small room off the main office of the stock squad and Dave could hear Lorri talking to Perry outside.
‘The stress of this case, concerns about my safety in particular, has caused my pregnant wife to have some medical issues that are putting her and our unborn child at risk,’ Dave answered, his hands clenched into fists on his knees. ‘I need to be here with her.’
‘Where is she now?’
‘At her parents’ place.’
‘But she’s been in hospital?’
‘Yes. She was discharged this morning.’
Hal wrote something on a legal pad and moved his head from side to side. He looked like he was thinking hard.
‘Pretty difficult to get these cases moved, Dave, to be honest with you. This date’s been set for four months and the defence is against adjourning it.’
‘Have you asked them already?’
Hal shook his head. ‘No, but I’ve heard rumblings that Reeve Perkins is chafing at the bit to get at you.’
Dave shrugged. ‘Let him chafe.’
‘Like I said, it’s not that easy. And to be perfectly honest, you would have had more chance of getting the date shifted if she hadn’t been discharged. To let her leave the hospital, well, the doctors must not believe there is a risk to either your wife or your unborn child. They wouldn’t have let her out otherwise. No, Dave,’ he shifted in his chair, ‘I think this will be hard to get changed. Where did you say she was right now?’
‘At her parents’ house.’
‘Yeah, see, again, there are people who can look after her, which frees you up.’
‘I think you can understand that Mel would rather it was me who was doing the caring.’
‘Yes, of course. However, you can’t forget your duty to the state.’
Dave patted his hands on his thighs nervously. He had to get this changed somehow. ‘Okay, if we can’t get an adjournment, can you try for a video link?’ he asked, desperation beginning to flood through him. He’d been sure that the DPP would understand the situation he was in and try to shift the trial to another time.
‘I can try for both. However, I’m telling you it will be difficult. I’ll advise the defence of our intention to change but it won’t be up to either them or me, as you know. It will end up in front of the judge and he’ll make the decision.’ The lawyer put his glasses on top of his head and rubbed his eyes while he spoke. ‘You’ll just have to hope that he’s feeling nice and generous on the day I see him. Now, while I have you, let’s proof your evidence.’ Hal flicked over a few pages on the pad in front of him and picked up his pen again. ‘I need you to summarise your undercover job, please.’
‘Right.’ Dave took a moment to gather his thoughts then started. ‘I was asked to infiltrate a contract mustering business called the Highwaymen, as it was alleged they were stealing cattle. The Highwaymen were a professional mustering team, one of the few around the north of Queensland, so they were a legitimate business, but with a side operation running.
‘As you know we need to prove things to be able to charge, so we had to catch them in the act. Or hear a confession. I was in charge of getting an admission from them. As it turned out, I not only got a confession but I was involved in an illegal muster. I was there on the ground when they trucked stolen cattle from the station they were mustering to their holding station in the Northern Territory.’
‘Can you tell me in your own words what happened the night you were shot?’
Rubbing his face, Dave closed his eyes and saw a flash of light against a dark sky and heard the dogs barking. He felt the damp earth as he crawled through the trees in despe
rate search of the river so he could escape, then there was nothing but heat in his arm.
‘Dave?’
‘Ah, sorry. Yeah. I arrived at the depot with a bottle of whiskey. Senior Sergeant Parker had asked me to try and extract more information from the person of interest, Bulldust, who was also known as Ashley Bennett. I had hoped I might be able to get him to talk if we had a few drinks.’
Hal held up his hand and continued to make notes on his pad.
Dave stopped and took a drink of water, waiting for Hal to indicate he could start again.
‘Did you see anyone else at the depot when you arrived?’ Hal asked.
‘I did not. What I did see was a set of linked cable ties on the kitchen table. I knew I had to get out of there fast.’
‘Why was that?’
‘Cable ties had been used to restrain a murder victim linked to Ashley Bennett and Scott Wilcox. I assumed my cover had been blown and they were looking for me. Their intention wasn’t to let me leave alive.’
Hal indicated for him to keep talking.
‘By the time I had made the connection, both men were in the kitchen—’
‘What men?’
‘Sorry,’ Dave said. ‘Ashley Bennett and Scotty Wilcox. Actually, I need to amend that. By the time I made the connection, both men were in the doorway leading into the kitchen. I saw Ashley first, then when Scotty stepped out from behind him I knew I was in trouble. I had been told earlier that Scotty was Bulldust’s enforcer. The one who took care of business.’
‘What sort of business?’
‘Anything that needed taking care of—whether it was to kill someone to keep them quiet, or to shift cattle on quickly because there was a threat. But when Larry Jones told me this, he was meaning more along the lines of murder.’
‘And who is Larry Jones?’
‘The truck driver for the Highwaymen mustering operation.’
‘I see. One final question for now, Dave. How did you realise that First Class Constable Joe Ross was working for Ashley and Scott?’
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