by C. S. Janey
When Charlotte found out that Jack had only wanted to get married to hide the fact he was gay, her whole world and that of their child became turned upside down. He had tried those first few years of their marriage, but after they had a child, he became more distant; enough that she became suspicious and completely determined to figure it out. One day she had stumbled upon the proof - emails with login information to sex sites that had profiles with his picture, describing what he was looking for in a man.
Jack had tried to deny it and rather poorly at that. She wasn’t hearing it and she told him so - she had printed out all the proof and told him that he just needed to fess up. Ultimately, he told her the entire story but no discussion of the future took place at that time.
A few days later, Jack told her he wanted a divorce, so they could both "find someone whom they deserved and whom deserved them." The papers were never filed though - Jack died in a tragic car accident during a unexpectedly strong storm a week later.
She was upset that he had lied and deceived her, but she still missed him. They'd been married nine years and if nothing else, he had been her friend. They also had a loving and sweet son, named Douglas, who would never know his father or his secret, because she hadn't said a word to anyone about it or the subsequent mention of divorce after his unexpected death. She didn't find it necessary to malign his memory.
One she'd settled his affairs, she had called up her mother and asked if she could come home. Of course, her mother said yes so she packed up her and Douglas' things and returned home. Her mother had missed her after she'd moved away. Charlotte felt like bringing her son back to live close to his grandmother was her way of apologizing for all the problems she had caused by leaving so suddenly all those years ago before her marriage to Jack.
Charlotte knew she would never make up for the pain she had caused everyone but she would try really hard to forge a new life for herself and her son. Coming home seemed like a good plan, as the area was a small town in which she should have never left.
Sighing, she set down her tea and looked at her watch. Noting that it was time to get her son off to school and for her to start the rest of her day, she stood up and walked over to the sink, placing the cup inside it. Walking out into the hallway, she grabbed her jacket and put it on.
"Douglas!" She yelled up the steps, which let him know that she was ready to go and waiting on him. It was a routine they had been working on to prepare for the school year. "Are you ready for school yet?"
Douglas pounded down the stairs like the five year old he was. One shoe was not tied while the other was in a haphazard bunny ear tie.
He looked up at Charlotte, blue eyes wide. "I can't tie my shoes! I tried mommy but I can't get them just right!" His lower lip quivered.
Charlotte knew Douglas struggled with this, so she gave him a soft smile. "It's all right darling. Just sit down so I can show you again."
As she demonstrated how to tie the laces once again, Charlotte couldn't help but try not to cry. Douglas did remember his papa, and he often came crawling to her bed at three a.m. crying for Jack. He looked just like Jack had as a child, a thought which made Charlotte feel a surge of anger at Jack for what his secret would have done to their family and then he had died, leaving them anyway.
She pushed the thoughts to the side, smiling at Douglas when they'd finished tying his shoes. "Okay, ready to go!"
After she grabbed her purse and keys, they were out the door to begin their day.
~*~
Douglas was apprehensive about leaving her at the door of the classroom, standing back while gripping his mother's hand.
Charlotte crouched down to his level and looked at him in the eyes. He instantly shied away, looking down at his feet. She tilted his face up gently, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek.
"Don't worry, sweetheart. You will have a great day and hopefully make some new friends. I will be here waiting for you at the end of the day and then you can tell me all about it!" She tried to sound upbeat, so he wouldn't know how much his growing up affected her. She wasn't ready for him to go to school either.
Douglas nodded and then gave her a hug. "I love you mommy!" he exclaimed as he walked over to the teacher by the classroom door, stopping to glance back at his mother to make sure she was still there. Then he glanced at the teacher who was smiling down at him.
"Hello, Douglas! Welcome to my classroom, we will have so much fun!" The teacher said this so cheerfully that Douglas giggled his little shoulders relaxing. He waved to his mother and then stepped inside.
Charlotte nodded as the teacher smiled at her, closing the door so they could start the day. Wiping her eyes, she walked away and towards the exit.
Charlotte exited the school building and instantly raised her hand to shield her eyes from the sun that was now shining brightly, the storm gone as if it had never been. As she was walking toward her car, she heard a familiar voice call out to her.
"Charlotte? Charlotte Reylin? Is that you?" The voice was deep and smooth. It was the same voice that used to whisper naughty things in her ear, making her shiver with anticipation for when they would be alone. Even now, just hearing his voice made it hard for her to breathe.
She paused in her walking and turned around, hardly noticing she had held her breath at the sound of his voice, which she let out in a rough whoosh. That's when he walked into her line of sight, and she drank him in.
"Trevin Green. What are you doing here?" She looked up into his green eyes and smiled slightly, trying to ignore the slash of pain from events long past.
He flashed a grin and shoved his hand through his hair nervously. "I live here. I actually never left. This is the first I've seen of you though."
Charlotte nodded. "I moved back about nine months ago. I am staying with my mother and haven't gone out much."
Trevin looked confused. "I see. I don't know where you were before so I'm going to assume you're living with your mother until you can get your own place?"
"Yes. I've got a job and everything but it is easier to live with my mother for now. Until recently, I had lived with my husband but he died last year," she informed him, watching his eyes go wide.
"I didn't know you'd gotten married. Hell, I should have figured you wouldn't have stayed single all this time. I suppose it was bound to happen in the past ten years. I'm sorry to hear that he died. What happened?"
She ignored his question. "It's all right. I hardly expected you to have stayed up on my activities all these years. Although, I did figure my mother would have told people about me, especially people she'd known all her life. This town is too small for secrets."
"Aw, come on Charlotte. You know your mother had taken your side before you left - and after as well. She probably told all her friends about you over the years but made them promise not to let the information get to me. People hold grudges for a long time it seems." He made a face, as if he couldn't believe he'd deserved such treatment and in Charlotte's eyes he did.
Charlotte scowled at him, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot. "Oh, because you don't feel that you deserved that? She was trying to protect me after you'd thrown our relationship in the trash. I'm not here to rehash the past though, thanks. I have stood around long enough and I've got to get going."
As she started to walk off, he grabbed her arm.
"Please Charlotte. Will you go somewhere quiet and talk to me? I would really like for us to become friends again at least," Trevin pleaded, his sadness at her hostility reflecting in his eyes.
"No," she bit off as she ripped her arm out of his grasp. "I can't deal with this right this second. Just...just stop." She walked away, missing Trevin's fists curling in frustration.
Charlotte climbed into her car, knowing that the way she had reacted was childish but not caring in moment. On top of it being the anniversary of her husbands' death, she had to run into the only other person in the world to have broken her heart. Tears rolling
down her cheeks, she forced herself to not look in the rear view mirror as she drove away.
He may have put the past behind him but she hadn't and she wasn't sure she ever could.
~*~
"Damn," Trevin cursed to himself as he watched her drive away. He didn't mean to upset her and after all these years, he still ticked her off by opening his mouth before thinking about what he was going to say.
He hadn't meant to bring up the past. It was still so raw to him, because he'd spent months looking for her to no avail. It was like she had fallen off the planet and even though he eventually had moved on, he had never forgotten her.
Seeing Charlotte here at the school had come as a surprise, since he hadn't known she was in town. He would have gone to her mother’s to speak to her if he had known. Her eyes had looked rather sad though and he wondered why she was at the school. Perhaps she was looking for a job as a teacher; he wouldn't be surprised to find out that's what she went to school for. Charlotte had always been excellent with children and he'd thought about what their kids would look like once or twice when they'd been engaged.
She was still just as beautiful as always, with her dark brown hair falling to her shoulders and her equally dark brown eyes sparking when she become all fired up. When they were younger, Trevin had nicknamed her "Sprite" being she was five foot four next to his six-foot frame.
Charlotte had loved him, he'd known that. He didn't know why she'd never confronted him for his stupidity and just ran off instead. At this rate, he'd never find out.
He'd just have to bump into her more often until he could get her to at least talk to him. Otherwise, he was afraid this ache would never go away.
This whole debacle was his fault and it was finally time for him to correct it, if only she'd let him. He knew he wouldn't stop trying to make up for the pain he caused her, even if it was the last thing he did.
"Yeah, Trevin. That's easier to say than to do," he remarked to his own self as he walked to his car.
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone and glanced at it. Almost nine a.m. and he would have to go inside soon for the board meeting. Sighing, he pulled a stack of papers out of the car and glanced at them, his mouth twisting in annoyance.
His father was a big proponent of making the schools run efficiently and had offered up his son to the school since he had a degree in business; he figured if anyone could get the school on track financially, it was Trevin. He'd helped his father make some good investments a few years back that had set them for life.
Unable to tell his father 'no' was one of Trevin's biggest downfalls. Sometimes he wondered why he wanted to please him so badly when it was obvious that was impossible. It always had been, but more so after his mother had died when he was a child. Being an only child made the expectations unbearable.
Trevin wasn't sure helping a school would be as easy in comparison to investments and he was sure his father knew that. Sighing, he headed into the school, his mind on Charlotte once again.
Chapter Two
Storming into her mothers' house, Charlotte let the screen door slam behind her. Anna, her mother, looked up from the book she was reading in the living room, putting it down as her daughter stalked past her. Anna knew Charlotte would be really upset because normally she would notice her mother immediately as the front door led right into the living room. Her daughter had a look of utter annoyance on her face, as if she wanted to slap someone or give them a nice telling off.
Anna knew there was only one person that would be. She got up to follow Charlotte, who had gone into the kitchen and was making herself a sandwich.
"Let me guess. You ran into Trevin?" She'd stopped just inside the kitchen, knowing that approaching her daughter while she was mad just caused more issues than she wanted to deal with.
"I can't believe the nerve of that man, to just assume he could approach me and that I would want to be friends!" Charlotte bit off this last word like it was nasty. "How could he ever think I would want to be friends with him after what he did? He broke my heart like it was nothing and just pretends like it never happened!"
Anna listened as Charlotte ranting, knowing that this day had been inevitable in its arrival. It had only just been a matter of time until Trevin approached Charlotte once he saw she was back in town. Anna wished that Trevin had waited a little longer, though. She wasn't quite ready to deal with the drama she knew was inevitable.
"I'm sorry, sweetie. I figured you would have known he was still in town," Anna said softly. "I didn't realize you would be upset to run into him; it has been ten years after all."
Charlotte looked up at mother, shock on her face. "Why wouldn't I be upset? He is the total reason I left this town, the whole reason I married Jack, the whole reason my life is now in shambles!" Okay well, not the complete reason for any of those, Charlotte thought to herself, but at this moment she just felt like putting all the blame on his shoulders because she was angry with him.
Anna sighed, echoing the thoughts in her daughter's head. "Your life is not in shambles Charlotte. You have a beautiful five-year old son from a marriage with a man who loved you very much, a good job that lets you have a lot of flexibility and you have your health. That is a lot more than many other people have."
Charlotte's shoulders drooped, wishing her mother knew about her marriage in that instant but unable to tell her. "You're right."
Anna walked over to Charlotte, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Maybe you should talk to Trevin and see what he has to say. You haven't spoken to him since you found him cheating on you all those years ago."
Charlotte shook her head vehemently. "I can't talk to him. What would I say? It has been ten years and I still want to yell at him for the way he broke my heart. Why should he get a second chance when he obviously didn't appreciate the first one? And yes, I have Douglas and I love him but that doesn't negate the fact that nothing is as I thought it was going to be. Trevin and I were supposed to be together forever, I was his fiancée!" She sat down abruptly, taking a bite of her sandwich.
Anna sat across from her, clasping her hands together and leaning on the table towards her daughter. "You were nineteen and he was twenty-one. Yes, you'd been together all through high school but maybe he wasn't ready for the commitment. It doesn't give him an excuse for cheating, but all you know is what you saw that day. You don't even know if they had actually gotten around to doing anything or if something else entirely different was going on that you wouldn't have known from your perspective."
Charlotte looked at her mother for a moment, thinking. "I never thought of it that way. I was so upset I didn't even stop to consider the other possibilities. I still think he was cheating on me though; he didn't even come after me!" With that, she just scowled and finished eating her sandwich, her mother looking at her with exasperation.
Anna felt relieved that Charlotte didn't seem to suspect her of knowing anything more about the past than she did already. Having Jack die or her daughter move back to live in the same town again wasn't something she'd ever really expected, so she hadn't planned on every divulging her past interaction with Trevin. After a moment, she knew her daughter was going to be stubborn about her belief of Trevin cheating on her, so she just patted her hand as she got up and then left the kitchen.
~*~
Charlotte knew she was acting poorly, but she hadn't expected to see Trevin today. It threw her off balance, especially since he'd always been able to make her feel things that she'd rather not. Finishing off her sandwich, her mind focused on how good he had looked today.
Trevin hadn’t changed much from what she could see. Oh, he had matured and his face looked slightly older like he had aged a bit more than ten years but other than that, he was just as perfect as she remembered him to be. Him smiling at her had set off the butterflies in her stomach that always came about when he was near.
Disgusted with having her thoughts focused on him, she stood up and put her plate into
the sink. After finishing up the cleaning she had to do in the kitchen, she headed up the steps to her room.
She sat down at her computer, intending to do some work she'd yet to get around to, when her mind began wandering to Trevin again, this time back to when they had first met each other.
She had grown up in this small town, but Trevin's father had moved them here when he was in his last year of elementary school. They weren't really friends as she'd be rather quiet and a wallflower, while he wasn't popular yet made friends pretty fast and was outgoing.
They had become friends over the summer before her freshman year of high school, spending most of it with each other - going to the lake for a swim, taking walks in the park and other innocent kid things like hanging out at his house with his parents and listening to music, singing along while horribly out of tune and laughing about their silliness.
By the end of the summer, he had asked her out and they had shared their first kiss. She hadn’t expected it to happen, although she had secretly began to like him as more than just a friend, and wasn’t even aware of how he felt about her until just before school started again.
He had invited her to the lake and had brought along a picnic basket and a blanket. Putting it down on the ground, he had invited her to sit. Before long, his hand covered hers while they laid down looking up at the stars in the dark but clear sky. Turning towards her, he asked her to be his girlfriend and when she nodded, he had went to kiss her on the cheek but she moved her face to make her lips meet his. He had just smiled at her and laid back on the blanket again, their hands still intertwined.
Charlotte starting high school didn't change much between then. They dated and there wasn't really any drama as neither were popular or noticeable all that much. When Trevin graduated at the end of her sophomore year, he decided to go to the University nearby so he wouldn't have to leave her.