To Murder Matt

by Viveca Benoir

  Lying back in the warm bath, she let the suds cover her body; she started to feel much better. She lay there, and closed her eyes, and began humming to herself. In the distance, she heard keys in the door and her body stiffened. She always hated being naked when he was around. She never knew what he was going to do. Whether it was a perverse sexual act, or even a beating, either way she felt exposed, and vulnerable. Clothes could sometimes protect her, slightly, from the blows that rained upon her. His fists were so hard, and he was so strong, she had given up trying to fight back. It only made him worse. When he beat her, she tried to go to a safe place in her mind. She would go limp, and wait for the blows to stop. She was such a normal person. Who would have thought that this would happen to her? This sort of thing happened to others, not successful women like her; she wasn’t the victim. It was just always her fault. She made him angry. If she could be better then he wouldn’t have a reason to hit her. He had had such a hard life. No wonder he hit her, if she triggered one of his bad memories. She sat up, and listened to hear if he was coming home, and then decided she had been hearing things. She felt the soap bubbles slowly sliding down her back, and she lay back into the warm water and closed her eyes once more. Under the water, her bruises from all the different times he had beaten her, were less visible. These were the bruises that no one saw. She hid them well. She was becoming a good liar to herself about how she got her bruises.

  Without warning, Matt burst into the bathroom. He grabbed her slippery and wet arm, and dragged her from the water. She opened her eyes in shock.

  “You silly fucking bitch. I have been calling you for ages. Why haven’t you answered? I told you to sit by the phone. How many people have been trying to call me whilst you are being lazy? What are you doing in the bath? Did I say you could have a bath?”

  “No one has called, don’t be stupid.” She realised what she had said, the moment the words left her mouth. She hadn’t been thinking. She was just answering him. She hadn’t meant to call him stupid, but it was the red rag to a bull, and all the excuse he needed to slam into her, as if he needed an excuse, that is. He dragged her out of the bathroom, wet and naked. Her arm was still wet, and he dug his nails into it and they went right down to the bone.

  “Stop it.” She tried to pull away, wishing at the same time that she didn’t react instinctively, but that she could stay calm, and not excite him further. She knew a struggle excited him, she knew that the more she fought back, the more she answered back, was all fuel to his sadistic fire.

  He threw her onto the bedroom floor. She started to get up, and he kicked her down with the full force of his shoe on her back. He kicked her so hard, that she was winded for a moment. She felt her back smarting, stinging, and a sharp pain in her kidney. He pulled her up, and threw her face down on the bed. He unzipped his fly, and then took out his erect member. Before she could move, he had pinned her down, and rammed himself up her arse. She tried to move, but he put his hand flat on her head, and pushed her face into the duvet. She could hardly breathe. He thrust into her angrily, the agony and pain blinding her. She felt her anal passage tearing and ripping as he pushed himself inside, right to the hilt. He was hung like a donkey, and sex with him always hurt. She tried to move away and flailed her arms behind her. She managed to half twist her body towards him, and grabbed a handful of his hair. At first, he was unaware as he was lost in the ecstasy of his actions. Though the moment he felt the pain, which threatened to ruin his pleasure, he grabbed her arm, and pulled it in the opposite direction, until he heard the satisfying sound of the bone snapping. She screamed in pain and as she screamed it was just what he loved to hear—he climaxed hard, and deep—in her bleeding arse.

  A few seconds later, he withdrew and she yelped as he pulled himself from her. She heard him going through to the bathroom to wash himself. She heard the water running, and she cried quietly into the duvet. She was in so much pain that she was unable to move. She slowly tried to turn over using her right arm to support her left. The slightest movement sent shooting pains up her arm. The throbbing was unbearable. As she slowly sat up, the air expelled from her arse, and she farted involuntarily. Despite the tremendous pain she was in, she felt more degradation from the fart and her subsequent loss of dignity, than any of the physical pains caused by the broken arm, or her torn rectum.

  Matt came out of the bathroom beaming.

  “Sex is getting better isn’t it? You are starting to know what I like.” He walked casually around her and got into bed. She got up and started to gingerly walk from the room.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To get an aspirin,” she croaked.

  “Don’t be long. I still have a hard on.” She turned and heard him chuckling as she walked away. Liquid was starting to run down her legs. She looked and found a mixture of blood, semen and faecal matter. She felt a sob starting to rise in her throat. She tried to stop it, but couldn’t as pain shot up her arm again. She tried to sit on a chair in the kitchen, but couldn’t, and so she stood and tried to go through the medicine case with one hand. She didn’t know anything about medical matters, but she knew she needed help with her arm. She knew it was broken. Shuffling back to the bedroom, after swallowing a few pills, she was pleased to see Matt was asleep. She went into the bathroom, cleaned herself up as much as she could, put on some clothes, and grabbing a coat with her good hand, she left the house.

  Wandering through the streets in a pain clouded semi-daze, Ellen didn’t know where to go, or what doctor’s office would be open. She was oblivious to the rain and staggered up and down roads at random. A car suddenly braked, to avoid hitting her as she stepped off the pavement. His tyres screeching as he halted. He beeped his horn, but she didn’t hear it she was so lost in the pain.

  “Hey, you! Are you all right, love?” The driver got out of his car, and went to help her as she was still stood in front of his car. As he touched her, the pain was so much that she blacked out right in front of him.

  Opening her eyes, Ellen saw a white ceiling; long fluorescent strip lighting crossed the expanse above her. She knew it wasn’t her home. Small curls of peeling paint threatened to fall at the slightest and the bright light blinded her eyes. A strong smell of disinfectant assaulted her nostrils and permeated the room she was in. She was alone and had been dressed in a white hospital gown. Her arm had been set in a heavy plaster cast. She slowly moved her legs over the side of the bed, the slightest movement causing her arm to throb in the cast. In the corner of the room was a cheap plywood wardrobe, inside which, she found her still wet clothes and coat hanging. She dressed in the cold wet clothes and walked towards the door. Outside the door was a nurse’s station. She guessed she was in the emergency room of a local hospital. On the wall was a large clock showing three o’clock. She had to get back home before he woke up or she would be in trouble. She walked as casually as she could, passed the nurses station and out of the main doors. No one noticed her, except for an ambulance man who smiled at her as she left.

  She didn’t know how far she had walked, but she just kept on walking. She had nothing in her pockets, except her house keys. She didn’t even have money for a taxi or her mobile. Had she lost her purse? She wondered how she had gotten to the hospital in the first place. The streets were deserted, save for a car or two that passed her. She knew the general direction of her apartment, so she just put one foot in front of the other, until she got there.

  The house was in darkness. Taking the key from her pocket, she quietly let herself in. She was so exhausted, she was actually glad to be back.

  “Where have you been?”

  She span around and found Matt sitting in the semi darkness of the room, lit only by the street light outside. His face shone in the dark, and his eyes glittered with that look, the look she knew only too well.

  “I went to get my arm checked.” She pressed herself back against the door, willing him in her mind not to hurt her. Her right arm was covering her left protectively, which wa
s in the cast.

  “What did you tell them?”

  “Nothing. I said nothing.” She shook her head. “Nothing. Honest.”

  “If I find out anything different... you will be sorry.” He came towards her, his arm outstretched. She pressed harder against the door. He put his arm around her and she cowered away. He pulled her towards him.

  “Now this could be interesting.” He looked at her plaster cast as he led her to the bedroom.

  ***

  The next morning, Ellen was woken up by a strange man wearing a white coat. He was pulling up the bed sheet.

  “Don’t worry dear. I am just giving you a pain killer and sedative.” She looked at him in a state of confusion. “I’m a doctor,” he said as though to a five year old. “I understand you haven’t been feeling yourself lately. Mmm?” He finished with the injection, and then got out his stethoscope. Matt was at the side of the bed looking concerned. Ellen was bewildered. She had only had a few hours sleep. She didn’t know what was going on and now she was starting to feel very groggy.

  “Huh?” She tried to speak but it was as though her mouth wouldn’t move.

  Matt stood by the side of the bed looking tortured.

  “How long has she been like this, Mr. Mellor?”

  “I couldn’t say, Doctor. It’s been such a long time. I have tried to cope, hoping that she would get better by herself, but with this entire self-harming happening, I thought I should call the professionals in. I don’t know what to do any more. She smashes up the house, screams, and now I am so worried she will harm herself, and others. Last night she was wandering the streets alone, all night. I had to go out and find her. She didn’t know where or who she was. I feel so helpless.”

  “Uhhh.” Ellen tried to speak and Matt bent over.

  “Don’t worry darling. The doctor is here now. He will help you.” Matt smiled at her and stroked her head. She tried to move away from him.

  The doctor. nodded and turned back to Ellen. He patted her hand.

  “How did you hurt your arm dear?” Ellen looked puzzled and looked down to her arm, in the plaster cast. She shook her head. She couldn’t remember as the medication was making her confused and drowsy.

  “Uhhh.” Matt held her hand as she started to drift off to sleep. She heard him speaking as though from far away.

  “Doctor, I really have tried everything, but it’s those voices she keeps hearing. They keep telling her to do things. She hardly talks sense any more. She is convinced I am out to kill her and harm her.” The Doctor listened, his face full of concern and Matt continued. “To be honest, we were only married a few months ago, and had I known she had these mental health issues, I might have sought help sooner but I just didn’t know.” He sighed and wrung his hands. “What can I do? I love her so much. Would a holiday help?”

  “No Mr. Mellor. I don’t think at this stage a holiday would help at all. She might be having a breakdown, or it may be more serious that that. I wouldn’t know, unless we are able to observe her for a few days. Are you able to bring her to my clinic? It’s gentler than sending her to a mental health institution, or a psychiatric ward. Or I could arrange to send an ambulance for her later today.” Matt nodded, and made pretence to think about it as the doctor spoke.

  “I really would like my colleagues to have a look at her too. If she is harming herself, and hearing voices, I am concerned that she may be a danger not only to herself, but to others. A broken arm takes a lot of force. I am afraid we would have to section her and evaluate her in safe surroundings.”

  “Whatever you think best, Doctor” Matt bowed his head bringing his hand up to his forehead. He looked totally forlorn.

  “Oh. Don’t worry, Mr. Mellor. Things are very different nowadays. With proper medication and care, she could be as right as rain in a few weeks.”

  “I want her to have the best, Doctor. How long would she need to stay?”

  “I think for a proper evaluation, I would recommend no less than a month. If there is no improvement, it could take up to six months. Only time will tell. But let’s not think that far ahead. Can you get her things together? I shall arrange for a room for her in my clinic, and for one of my colleagues to countersign all the necessary paperwork to section her under the Mental Health Act.”

  “As you think best.”

  As Matt looked at his wife sleeping soundly, he smiled. Having her sectioned would naturally give him, as her husband, power of attorney over all her affairs, financial and everything. She would be out of the way for him to do whatever he wanted, and whatever she said, in her state of diminished responsibility, would be ignored by everyone. After all, once she was sectioned, she would not be of sound mind. He chuckled as he packed some essential items to go to the clinic with her. Even if they decided to release her after a short while, he would have her addicted to drugs by then and completely under his control.

  The doctor had said she would be out cold for a few hours more, and wouldn’t wake up until she was in her new hospital room. Matt thought about having sex with her but decided against it. She was no temptation, or challenge, whilst she was drugged and essentially unresponsive to pain.

  ***

  “Where am I?” Ellen said sleepily. She was in another strange room. This bed was comfortable but not her own. She was alone. Looking around the room, she saw a wardrobe; better quality than the last hospital. In the corner was an upright armchair. A cord with a buzzer at the end hung over her shoulder. With her good hand she pressed the buzzer.

  A woman in a starched white dress came in.

  “Where am I?”

  “You are in a private clinic.”

  “Why?”

  “Why?” The nurse laughed. “So you can get better, that’s why.” She pulled the bed sheet and patted it around her. Ellen tried to sit up.

  “Oh no, lie down. You need to rest, my dear. The doctor will come and see you shortly. Would you like anything? A drink? Something to eat?”

  “Uh I would like to make a phone call please.”

  “I am sorry dear, but the doctor thinks it best that you don’t speak to anyone just yet. Now would you like a cup of tea or a sandwich?”

  “A tea please.”

  The nurse left the room and returned a few moments later with a cup of tea, a glass of water, and a couple of small pills for her to take.

  “There you go, now take these. They will make you feel better.” Ellen took the water and swallowed the pills down, then took the tea. “Your husband is such a wonderful man.”

  Ellen froze as the nurse plumped up her pillows.

  “He was here?” Her heart missed a beat in fright.

  “Oh yes, all night.” She smiled. “He is such a caring man. He was so worried about you. He will come and see you later, I am sure.”

  Ellen smiled weakly and then the curtain of sleep descended upon her.

  Muffled voices awoke her and she tried to focus on them. The nurse was speaking.

  “She did awake earlier for a few moments, Doctor.She insisted she was ok and struggled to get up to leave.”

  “Don’t they all?” He looked at her and took her pulse. “I can’t assess her in this state, whilst she is catatonic. It will have to wait.”

  “Yes Doctor.” The nurse nodded seriously.

  “Call me the moment she wakes up.”

  “Yes, of course Doctor.” Ellen drifted back into a deep dark sleep.

  “Oh you are naughty, with your wife lying here too.”

  “She wouldn’t mind. She loves to watch.” Matt put his hand up the nurse’s skirt, as she lay back on the bed, her body was resting on Ellen’s legs. The bed creaked with them leaning against it.

  “I love seeing you in stockings and suspenders.” Matt nuzzled into her neck and she giggled. He pushed her skirt up, and pushed her thong to one side, and entered her quickly. She was already wet and ready for him. He began thrusting hard. Ellen felt the vibrations of them fucking on her bed, and heard them kissing, and grunting
together. They were in a frenzied, fast and raw passion, full of intense sexual hunger.

  “Oh Matt, you are the best lover. Just the best,” the nurse panted in his ear. “Mmmm, you are so big, so hard.” She ran her fingers through his hair, and brought her leg up, and bent it around him.

  “You make me hard,” he said huskily, as he thrust deep inside her.

  “Think of all the times we can be together now,” she said dreamily, between moans.

  He thrust again, his balls swinging forward to slap against her, and Ellen recognised the sound when he did, that said he was close to coming. As she heard him grunt his climax, Ellen drifted back into her dream world.

  The bed stopped moving, and the nurse got off Ellen’s legs. They quickly started to rearrange their clothing. Matt was putting himself back inside his trousers while she smoothed down her skirt.

  “Did you give her the tablets I gave you?”

  “Oh yes. She took them without a second thought.”

  “Good girl.” He kissed her full on the mouth. “Remember the more she is sedated, the longer she will stay here, and the more we can see each other.” He tweaked her nipple through her uniform and she gasped in arousal.

  The door started to open and Matt took his hand away. The nurse turned to the bed to straighten the blankets.

  “Hello Doctor.” He stepped forward and held his hand out to him. He smiled as he thought that only a few moments earlier, he had been rubbing the nurse’s clit with those fingers. He hoped they were still sticky with her juices. It gave him a perverse pleasure.

  “Hello Mr. Mellor. I am sorry that we have been unable to assess your wife. She has been totally catatonic. It is a classic symptom I am afraid, and we may have to keep her in longer than I originally thought.” The nurse winked from behind the doctor and Matt nodded in response.

  “Whatever is necessary. I just want my wife back to full health.”